disclaimer- all characters, setting, and anything else to do with tdi belongs to Fresh tv.

I want to thank The Kobold Necromancer, he has inspired me to write this story and has been very helpful in righting this story. He also gave me the ideas for some of the pairings. Thank you very much.

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Chris stood in the middle of the campground, smiled at the camera, and started to speak. "Chris McLean here, bringing you another glorious installment of the Total Drama franchise. This season, all twenty-two contestants are coming back to their favorite place on the planet, here, Camp Wawanakwa." He chuckled sadistically as he started to walk.

"This season, all challenges are based on things in popular culture, whether it be a movie, a book, a tv show, heck, we even have some popular video game challenges. And believe me, all of these challenges are going to be awesome!

"So begins the newest season, called Total. Drama. Entertainment!

(cue theme song)


Chris stood on the end at the end dock as the first boat made its way to the island. "Man, if they thought that I was evil last season, just wait till they see what's in store for them this time," he whispered to himself as the boat made its way towards the dock. When the boat was close enough for him to see who was on it, he swallowed nervously. It was a certain CIT that had the ability to rip him apart limb by limb and, he was not exactly her favorite person on the planet right now. Boy was he glad that he had chef there as a body guard.

"Chris you narcissistic son of a (censored), How dare you force me to do another season!?" She yelled while Chef held her around the waist, trying to protect Chris, and it was taking all his strength to do so, man was that girl strong. "You know, the only thing keeping me from clawing your eyes out then feeding them to Owen in a Taco, besides your little sidekick here, is the fact that my lawyers advised me against it, something about having to do five to ten."

"Thank God for that," the host stated as he wiped his brow with the back of his hand. All of a sudden there was a large explosion in the distance. "Dude, What the heck was that?"

"I don't know but something is coming this way," Chef said with a worried look on his face. Then they all noticed what he was seeing. It looked like a flaming shark fin coming at them at high speeds.

"Crap, I don't know about you but I'm leaving," Courtney stated as she struggled to get herself away from the doc, but chef still had her in a death lock that she couldn't escape.

"Wait, that ain't a flaming shark fin," Chef said as he peered at the projectile. "I think it's just Izzy." With that said the psycho redhead jumped off her little ride to the island.

"Hey guys, I can't believe that I get to come back. Now if only my Honey-bunch was here and that stupid Russian asylum would stop hunting me down, I would be so happy right now," the psychopath said in her usual high speed voice.

"Izzy, what the heck happened to your boat?" Chris asked with a worried face.

"Well that stupid driver wouldn't go faster when I told him to. So I used my amazing taekwondo skills and managed to kick him unconscious. Then I hijacked the boat, but I slammed on the accelerator thingy too hard, and it like totally got stuck. Luckily I jumped off right before the boat collided with the rock. Boy, you should have seen the look on the bear's face when it saw the boat coming at it."


Confession Cam

Bear- First the girl breaks into my cave and kicks my but at video games, then she runs off with my freshly caught fish, now she's trying to kill me with a big boat!


Chris's brow broke out in a cold sweat, "What about the crew." as he said this chef got a worried look on his face

"Well they didn't really make it. They stayed on the boat," Izzy said as if the fact that those people can be seriously injured didn't faze her a bit.

Chris stopped breathing.


Confession Cam

Chris- (fuming) what the heck was that girl thinking! I could have tons of lawsuits on my butt from the families of the crew. Plus, that boat was so frikkin expensive that I'm going to have to give up three bottles of hair gel to replace it!


Chris pulled out his cell phone to contact his lawyers when the next boat pulled up carrying a certain Goth girl that was ready to kill the handsome host. She grabbed the phone from the man and threw it into the lake were a shark ate. The shark later received a call and ran up Chris's bill up astronomically.

"Hey," yelled the host. "I hope you know that that was a very important call."

"Oh I'm sorry." Gwen remarked sarcastically. "Let me help you get it back." She said as she pushed him into the lake. "Have fun looking for it!" the girl said as she walked over to her old friends.

"I can't believe we have to do another dang season of this show" Gwen complained to the other two girls. She notices the billowing smoke in the distance. "What in the world is that?"

"Oh, it's only Izzy adding involuntary manslaughter to her long list of charges," Courtney told the green haired girl. Izzy just gave Gwen her crazy smile and waved.

Gwen shook her head and said, "Should have known that the billowing smoke had something to do with the raging psychopath." Izzy laughed and snorted at this comment. "Man, I wish Trent would hurry up and get here; I haven't seen him in so long that I'm beginning to forget what he looks like. All I know is that he makes me forget what I'm doing when I think about him." Chef snickers as the girl started talking about her boyfriend.

"I know I mean my honey-bunch and I just got together when the season was over and I've only talked to him on e-mail or carrier pigeon, I need to see him again or I'm going to go homicidal!" Izzy says with a day dreamy look in her eyes. Chef's laughter increased.

"Duncan you better hurry up and get your butt on this dock." Courtney yelled as another boat appeared on the horizon. Chef fell to the floor he was laughing so hard.

"What the heck is up with that old cow?" asked the girl with olive skin as she got off the boat that had brought her to the island.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough," snickered Chris as he rung out his hair.

"What's up LeShawna?" the Goth girl asked her best friend from the island as she gave her a high-five. Courtney and Izzy came over as well to greet the girl.

"Oh, nothing much, a little school here, trying to find a loop-hole in a certain contract there, you know the usual." LeShawna said as she gave all three girls a hug that had so much pressure that they all couldn't breathe.

"LeShawna you know you should really put them down or else you might end up getting rid of three of your competitors right off the bat." Chris said as Chef tried to pry apart the sister from her friends.

"Oh I would never kill one of my girls." She said as she put down the poor girls.

"what about that (censored), Heather?" Courtney asked with her first breathe of much needed air.

"First off, girl when did you become such a potty mouth? And second, she's actually changed. She called me to apologize about all the crap she put me through and said she fell in love with a boy on the island and she had changed for him." LeShawna replied to the Brunette's question,

"You know, she called and told me the same thing." Said Gwen


Confession cam

Gwen- Not that I believed her or anything, once a witch, always a witch.

Courtney- psh Heather nice, I'll believe it when I see it and then pigs will fly.


"Looks like we are all going to find out because here comes the she-devil now!" Chris yelled as the next boat came up to the dock. All the people watched as a tall, hot teenage female got off the boat. She had what looked like a genuinely cheerful smile on her face. She seemed genuinely nice.

Somewhere in America, a pig grew wings and miraculously learned how to fly.

"Hey guys, I've missed you so much. I can't believe how long it has been." Heather said. She then surprised everyone by giving each of them a hug.

The 'Ex' Queen Bee walked up to Chris and looked like she was about to say something nice to him but then her face changed to absolute fury and she slapped him so hard that a loon two islands over heard the noise. "That is for making me do another season of your idiotic show." Chris started rubbing his sore cheek and all the others burst out in laughter. Gwen laughed so hard she fell backwards into the lake.

"Girl, you are now officially in my good book!" LeShawna said as between gasps for air. After a while they all managed to stop laughing and Gwen pulled herself out of the lake. Courtney made her way over to Heather and put her hand on her shoulder.

"So Heather, I heard that you got yourself a boyfriend. Is this true?" The CIT asked coyly.

"Yes, and he is perfect for me." The used to be queen-bee said with a smirk.

"Who is he?" asked Izzy, who was now curious to see who the mystery boy was.

"You are going to find out when he gets here and I get to see him again." She said, trying not to snicker.

"Come on tell us!" Gwen begged.

"Yeah tell us, or we'll let Izzy have her way with you." LeShawna said as she jabbed her thumb at the psycho. At this comment Izzy pulled out a machete and started sharpening it on a rock. All the other people on the dock started to back away, all that is except for Heather.

"No, I will not tell you till I see him again. Crazy girl does not scare me!" She said as she turned her nose up in the air.

Izzy wanted to prove her wrong. She swung the machete at one of the posts and sliced it in half. "Are you scared now?"

"No," replied the raven-haired beauty.

"Is it Justin?" Courtney asked.

"No" Heather replied

"Is it Noah?" Gwen wondered

"No" Heather replied again

"Is it Cody?" LeShawna pleaded. Izzy flinched and clenched her fist.

"For the last time no!" Heather replied, rage starting to lace her voice.

"Is it Ezekial?" Izzy asked innocently.

Heather took a deep breath and plastered on a shy smile at the mention of the prairie boy. While all this was going on, another boat came to the dock and a blonde surfer stepped off the boat. "Hey guys, what's going on?" Bridgette asked the awkward scene that was before her.

"Nothing eh, just us finding out about Heather's boyfriend eh." Gwen says mocking the accent of Heather's love interest. Bridgette stifled a giggle as she heard the news.

"Hey, has anyone seen Geoff?" Bridgette asked as she looked for her boyfriend.

"No, in fact not a single guy is here yet, I'm beginning to wonder what's going on."

"I'm worried to, I mean every single time we bring up our boyfriends tweedlemoron and tweedledumbass over there break out into hysterics." Courtney tells the new arrivals. Chris and Chef straighten up after trying to hide their laughter. Now all the girls were worried.

Izzy finally snapped, if it's possible for her to snap anymore. She grabbed Chris by the collar and held him up off the ground. "Okay, you are going to tell me what is going on or I am going to feed you to the octopus in the lake." Chris was worried for his life now.

"You are going to find out as soon as a few more campers arrive. In, fact here comes one right now." The host said. Izzy dropped him so she could see which one of her old friends would be coming to the dock.

All of the girls couldn't believe their eyes. On the boat was a girl. She was a girl who was never seen without the girl that was practically her own twin. As she got off the boat she was a little wierded out at the open mouth stares from her competitors.

"What are all you guys staring at?" The BFF asked.

"Um, we're just wondering where your clone is." Izzy stated as she searched the girl. "Katie, did you stuff Sadie in your bra?" The psycho asked as she looked down the girls shirt.

"NO!" yelled the girl as she pushed the redhead off of her. "For your information, Sadie said she had to do something Chris told her to do then she would be on the island later." All the girls then turned to Chris.

"Ok, what the heck is going on?" They all asked in unison. The host just snickered and pointed towards the lake where another boat was seen in the distance.

"EEEEEEEEEEEE maybe Noah's on that boat." Katie yelled in excitement. All of the girls turned to her with looks of shock on their faces.

"You mean you're dating that cynical moron?" LeShawna asked with amazement

"For your information he is sweet, funny, smart, if not a little bit smart alliky, and yes, yes I am dating him." Katie responded to the question with an attitude that surprised the group of girls. They all stood there in silence as the boat pulled up and unloaded a bodacious blonde.

"Oh my gosh its Gwen, LeShawna, Courtney, Bridgette, Izzy, and Sadie." Lindsay said.

"Girl you finally remembered everyone's name, except that's Katie, not Sadie but we'll let that one slide." LeShawna said as she gave the ditz a hug that turned her blue in the face.

"Yeah, when I learned that I was coming back, me and my mom studied for days on memorizing the names." Lindsay said. Lindsay turned to Heather with a sour look on her face, "Heather," she said with scorn.

"Lindsay, I just want to make things clear between the two of us. I have changed. I want to apologize for everything I put you through last season. I'm sorry Lindsay." Heather then gave Lindsay a light hug. Lindsay, being the sweet girl she is gave her a hug back.

"It's ok Heather you are forgiven, but I still don't trust you." Lindsay said.


Confession Cam

Lindsay- ok I know I'm naïve, but I felt like she meant every word of that apology.


"Ok, everyone go take your luggage to your cabin, which is the Killer Bass cabin, then you need to report to the main lodge where you will learn about the first challenge." Chris said to the 8 females on the dock. "And Chef you go ahead and go get ready for the challenge." Chef nodded and then jumped on a water ski and took off to Boney Island.

"But Tyler isn't here yet." Lindsay said stating the obvious.

"Yes Lindsay all will be cleared up in the lodge." Chris said leading her towards the lodge


Confession cam

Lindsay- (tears are rolling down her cheeks) Tyler isn't here, what am I supposed to do for fun.


All the girls sit at the killer bass table and stare holes into the host's skull. "Ok, now we need to just say a few things to inform the fans and you. First off, the prize for winning is one million dollars." The table breaks into whoops and hollers. "Second off, well there is no second, we just forgot to mention the prize money in the promos."

"Now for me to tell you about this week's challenge, you all have immunity." The girls screamed in excitement when they heard this news. "Eva, DJ, Sadie, Beth, Justin, and Owen also have immunity."

"Whoa, if most of us have immunity, what the heck is the point of a challenge?" LeShawna asked. All the other girls nodded their head in agreement to the question.

"Well, let's just say that the end of this challenge will be emotionally challenging for one of you." Chris stated with the infamous grin of evil. Gwen didn't like the sound of that. Neither did any of the others. The campers and the host sat there in absolute silence. After a few minutes of this, Heather lost it.

"Ok bucko, What the hell are you going to make us do for this godforsaken challenge?" the girl asked. She then pushed him down and started punching the living snot out of him. All the others stood up and were about to go help her with the host when he started yelling, "Ok, Ok I'll tell you just don't mess with the face!"

The girls then backed off of him so he could finally tell them what the heck was going on. "Ok so you all know that this season's challenges will be based on famous books, movies, video games, and television shows." The girls nodded their heads.

"Well this week's challenge is based on one of the most popular books of the century. It's a classic love story. A boy and a girl that aren't supposed to be together get together, fall in love, yadda yadda yadda, But this story has a twist, the boy is a vampire."

"Oh dear God." Gwen moaned.

"Shhhhh don't spoil it. The boys name is Edward, and the girl's is Bella. All of you probably already know the book I am talking about. The challenge is based on a little book called," a drum rolled in the background "Twilight!"

"That one sliver of hope I had for this show just died." Gwen stated.

"I hate that series. Stephenie Meyer is now on my list," Izzy said. She then pulled out a lengthy piece of paper with hundreds of names on it.

"Uh, Izzy, what exactly is the list for?" Katie asked a little worried because she saw her name on the list.

"Oh, it's just a list of people who get to live when I rule the world." The psycho said. The girls relaxed because they thought it was her hit list (never underestimate Izzy though; she has that list too).

"Why would you want her to stay alive?" Heather asked.

"Because death is too swift, and that woman deserves to pay!"


Confession Cam

Bridgette- I didn't like Twilight all that much, but I don't think she deserves that much. Torture by Izzy.... ick, there's a scary thought.

LeShawna- I never really saw what the big deal was about Twilight. All it is is a horribly written (air quotes) 'love' story with an (more air quotes) 'attractive' guy.

Chef- You know what really freaks me out, The moms who love Twilight. I highly doubt that it would be considered cute if a fully grown man was oggling over a teenage girl.


"Ok, now let me explain our little challenge. At the climax of Twilight, Bella is kidnapped by a rival vampire and Edward has to go and rescue her. This is where the challenge comes from, and that, my dear victims, is you have to rescue your respective beaus, but you have to save them after getting past an obstacle. Courtney, Heather, LeShawna, Izzy, Gwen, and Lindsay, your boyfriends are being guarded by the either one or two of the six single campers or Chef. While Bridgette, Geoff is in the middle of the woods, forcing you to face your fear to save him. Finally, Katie, Noah is being protected by the wooly beavers from last season."

Bridgette and Katie both paled at this news. The other girls looked at each other hoping they would get anyone but Chef.

"Now would you mind explaining why we all have immunity?" Bridgette asked with fear in her voice.

"Ah, that is because the ones that have immunity are you and the singles." Chris said

"Wait, you said Owen had immunity, but he's dating Izzy!" Courtney said flabbergasted. All the eyes turned to look at Izzy.

"Well, we sort of broke up," Izzy said casually.

"Why?" LeShawna asked, now curious for some juicy news

"You see, we were on a date to the movies, we were strolling down an ally when out of the shadows, that serial killer with a chainsaw and a hook tried to mug us. Then that damn coward pushed me in front of the killer, again. When we escaped and the police arrested the killer, I found out his name was Bill, he's my pen pal now. anyways, when Bill got arrested, I dumped that lard-ass for the coward he was." The red-head said, finishing her story.

"So who are you dating now?" Gwen asked because she noticed that Cody didn't receive immunity.

"Well, the whole show I had a huge crush on Cody, so when Owen and I ended, I tracked my little geek down, asked him out, he said yes, and we've been a couple ever since." Izzy stated with a casual smile. The girls let out a chorus of awe's (some thought the story was romantic, others did it because they thought that maybe Izzy would hurt them if they didn't).

"Thank god that little nerd finally got himself a girl, his little stalking motif was getting a little weird." Gwen said.

"Ok, you all will have time to catch up later, now is time for the challenge." Chris said the group of awestruck teens. "Ok, as I was saying you all have immunity, but your lovers I'm not so sad to say, don't. This is because you are in a race to save your boyfriends and the last one to be saved is immediately, do not pass go, do not collect a marshmallow, lose chance of winning 1 million dollars."

The girl's eyes bulged when they heard the news. They finally understood why Chris had said that one of them would be put through was because their boyfriend would be taken off the island, and it would be their own fault. This was truly something that only somebody as cruel as Chris could come up with.


Confession Cam

Gwen- ok if anyone does something that stops me from saving Trent, they will be maimed with a chainsaw.

Lindsay- I can't believe that he is making us do this, he should know that I won't be able to save Tyler.


"To prove that I'm not totally cruel, Izzy, Courtney, LeShawna, Katie, Gwen, and Lindsay, you beaus are all on Boney Island. While Bridgette and Heather, yours are all on this island."

"Um Chip, how do we get to the other island?" Lindsay asked.

"Girl, I thought that you remembered everyone's name." LeShawna stated

"Oh, I just remembered the names of all the people who mattered to me. I didn't bother memorizing his." The ditz put it bluntly


Confession Cam

Chris- Stupid girl, not bothering to memorize a name that sounds like it is made of gold


"Well for your information, there are water skis at the end of the dock for you to use." Chris said. "Ok let's go to the starting line and get this thing started." The girls were reluctant to go but they went anyway.

When they got out side they noticed that there was a freshly painted chalk line with the word 'START' on it. they were now getting a little unsettled. "Ok campers, line up with the Boney island travelers facing the water skis while Bridgette and Heather face the interior of the island. They all lined up as he said to.

"Ok, now to celebrate the start of a brand new season, I'm bringing back an old friend from the last season," at this comment, he pulled out a shiny revolver that they all recognized as the one that started many of the races and relays from the original season.


Confession Cam

Gwen- I really don't trust that guy with a gun, I mean he would obviously shoot one of us if a dozen lawsuits wouldn't follow

Bridgette- that man better not shoot that thing into the water, because last time he shot it he killed a bird. I MEAN HE MADE ITS HEART STOP BEATING. If he ever did that to a fish or dolphin I would do something that would put me on the run like Izzy.


"Ok everybody," Chris said pointing the gun towards the sky which suddenly became empty of birds.

"On your mark!" He yelled as all the girls got into a sprinters position

"Get set!" all the girls tensed up

"Get setter" They almost took off as the host said this

"Are you set?" Now the girls were a little ticked off.

"It's almost time to start!" Now the girls were P. O. ed

"Will you just say go already!" Gwen yelled at the host. Then she heard a BANG and all the others took off as she stood there dumbfounded.

"Someone wasn't set," Chris nagged her as she took off.

"(censored) you" She yelled over her shoulder angrily.


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So what do you think, I'm pretty proud of it.

disclaimer- Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

Yes i did steal the ending from the goldfish commercials, i thought it would be something chris would do

A/N: I hate Twilight. Hate it. Hate it. HATE IT! I read the whole series, sadly. The only reason I did it is because I thought this was an awesome challenge.