Date: same as any other

Writing will not help me. It's a cry into the darkness, to the empty world without you here, by my side.

The pain that I feel not seeing your face at dinner or hearing your footfall on the stairs, it's too great.

I've moved out of where memories with you are based. It does not help the pain but it's not a constant companion. The emptiness I mean.

People tell me to make new memories, be happy, distract myself and not let it tear me apart.

That happened the day I had to say goodbye.

How can a person just let go of someone who has made such an impact on their life disappear without being sad?

Sad, of course being the very basic layer and the simplest way of looking at the hole that you used to fill. How can I be happy when I am, when my life is, no longer complete.

I adapt, of course, but that doesn't stop me waking, wishing today would be the day I see you again. The day I hear you call my name. The day I spend with you and feel the thrill of life course through my veins once more.

When it won't be.

I long to see your name flash up on my phone, wish each text was from you, each voice that calls my name or I hear in passing.

Memories start to go faint after a while, I mean, they're all reconstructions and eventually, I lose track of which are fantasies of day to day life and which happened. Old photos make me sad, the happiness we felt, the emotion I struggle to feel.

You made me into a better person, I would be so much less if I'd never known you. I didn't know how to live. Then you were gone and life just seemed so boring, so empty. How can one life be so detrimental to another's? It must be a weakness to our species. The bond of affection.

All I want, is you, here by my side, living the life we both love and enjoy. You, here.

Please?