My name's Rin. Okumura Rin. I've got no friends, but there's one person who always haunts me.

While I'd like to have someone else to talk, I only have him. That bastard.. He says I don't deserve friends. I'm a stupid demon, why would they even want to stay with you? He says. And deep down I believe him. I know he's perfectly right, especially when I look at myself at the mirror. I see these horrific pointed ears of mine, so different from the normal ones, even longer. I see my fangs, seemingly blood-thirsty, and it hurts when they sharpen out of the blue. Then, there's my swaying black furred tail. That, at least, I have no longer to keep under my shirt, giving me a feeling of pressure.

"See? You're different. They're never gonna accept you as you're now." My haunter keeps telling me.

"Then what should I do?"

"…"

I still don't know why, but he never answers that question. He just hushes. I have to find the solution myself.

There's also one more person in my life, who's not in the group of my former so-called friends, and it's my brother. I really love him so much. Since we were kids, we've been one the protector and one the other the protected. I used to be the" guardian angel" of Yukio, if you can accept the irony, and I defended him with all my strength if he was bullied. But somehow our roles have now inverted. He became stronger. He became taller. He became an exorcist. And what hurts most is that I haven't known of that for all this years.

"Because you're just a selfish brawler. What kind of big brother are you, uhm? You didn't even know his real feelings towards you. He hates you, just like all the others!"

"Shut up, already!" I scream, now. I can't stand him, why does he pretend to know me?!

My brother cannot hate me, he just can't.. I think. But if I don't believe in Yukio, if I don't trust him anymore, who can I trust?

"Nobody"

As I said, I'm alone, but it's not totally exact. I've got people who want me, people who are looking for me, people who control me. Satan, the Vatican, the exorcists, all of them just care about my being the spawn of Gehenna's king. They don't care about the real me.

I was just a teen, not even much intelligent, looking for a job and a simple life, and living in a church. I was cheerful, sometimes a troublemaker, but kind-hearted. No one sees this in me anymore.

"You hate them, right? But it's just your fault for being who you are"

"That's not true" I reply the grinning haunter. He has fangs too, like me.

I'd like to scream out loud, but I end up with a tear going down my cheek. And the haunter beat me on my head with a fist, two, tree. He doesn't want to stop. The burning pain spreads inside me, while I think about my life. I realize how it sucks; I'll never have friends nor someone who acknowledges me.

The pain won't stop, instead it reaches also my heart. I've got to stop that person myself, I've got to use my scaring blue flames. No, I'll do better, I'll use the blade of my sword to end all of this!

I charge and hit the annoying haunter with all my might. His now piercing blue eyes with red pupils look at me. I killed him.

My name's Okumura Rin and I was haunted by the negative thoughts in my mind. They no more exist… and so do I.


A.N. Hi everyone! I've got to be honest, I never thought I'd write a fanfic (even a oneshot) but here I am. I resgistered on this website with the intention of just reading. Then tonight this Idea of Rin against his conciousness came in my mind and I had to write it, and only later I thought of publishing it. I hope you liked it, even if it's REALLY short and I apolagize for any grammar error. Love ya :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Ao no Exorcist and its beautiful characters.