"See that Anders? Those are clown fish. The ones with the orange stripes?" A man said to the small blond boy on his shoulders.
Little three year old Anders looked up in wonder at the brightly colored fish swimming in and out of view in the large aquarium. Anders' love of fish could easily be traced back to these days when his father would take him to see the fish every week that he was able to, and even having to keep Anders on a child leash so he wouldn't run off in pure excitement. His father was also the one who bought him his first pet fish, and would be the one to constantly remind the boy to feed the little tropical fish every day. How his father would always jokingly say that Anders loved that fish more than he did his family. Those were the memories that Anders had of his father, and even though the man who was his father took a turn to the violent, Anders couldn't help but remember the fish. The fish that his father would take him to see and describe to him with love clearly evident in his voice.
He remembered blaming Ty for changing his father. Mike would always tell him to shush and that it was rude, but it didn't stop Anders from jutting out his bottom lip and crying about how the new baby made his daddy leave. Although quietly to himself Mike wondered the same thing, if it was the baby's fault that their father had ended up leaving them in the dust like that. His dad had been teaching him carpentry, and telling Mike that he'd be able to own his own little company because he was learning so quickly and so well. Evidence of this was hanging in their yard in the form of a birdhouse that Mike had made himself (with guidance from his father.). But he never pouted or cried like Anders did, even if he wanted to sometimes. He guessed that Anders thought if he pouted and cried and kicked enough that their mother would decide to give away Ty so then daddy could come back. But the little boy seemed to be shocked when it wasn't the case. His crying had never failed him before to get what he wanted, and he resented Ty more than ever.
Daddy would come by sometimes, but he was different. His face seemed darker, and he'd hit their mother sometimes, and glare at Ty like he was something hideous. He would always tell their mother to get rid of Ty. That he didn't want anymore kids. But he was still kind to Mike and Anders. When he came back the first time they were both so happy to see him, and he acted like he had never left. But after they had both gone to bed, Mike still lay awake in his bed and could clearly hear his parents arguing loudly and Ty's crying. He had gotten up and snuck to his youngest brother's room to already see Anders sitting there in Ty's crib trying to soothe him. Anders had tears in his eyes as well. Mike climbed in as well, and even though it got cramped after he did, they were all clinging to each other as they heard their parents yell.
Their father acted as though nothing happened the next day, and so did they. A day after that, he was gone again. He was gone for a really long time, and Ty had time to get older and start hating their dad. Ty was their mother's favorite. Mike and Anders could both easily tell. They could also tell that their mother obviously cared more for Ty than her older sons. So Mike started to leave as often as he could. He had constant sleepovers with his friends, leaving Anders alone with Ty and their mother. Ander had no one to go to, because he had no friends. He had tried before, but they all quickly left him because they said he was annoying, and would manipulate them. So Anders was by himself save for Ty who made him angry and his lone goldfish who had surpassed all odds and was still alive from the last time his father appeared and given it to him.
The last straw Mike had was after Axl was born. Their mother and father were yelling again, and Mike was hidden away with Ty and Axl with him. But Anders...Stupidly naive Anders had decided he was going to try and stop the arguing instead of hiding with his fish in his room. The loud smack was heard all around the house. Anders had a large bruise on his face that only made Ty and Mike angrier than before. Anders tried to brush it off like it was nothing, but there was hurt in his eyes when his father hugged him and Mike goodbye. Ty glared after the man who was his father, and stalked back to his room quickly afterwards, leaving Mike and Anders standing alone.
"Why did you brush it off like it was nothing? Dad hit you Anders!" Mike said suddenly, turning to his younger brother.
"It's dad...I can't be mad at him. He bought me a fish...You're supposed to love your dad right?" Anders questioned.
"I guess...But Dad isn't supposed to hit you."
They argued about it, and when Anders turned 21 he quickly left the house. None of the brothers talked much anymore, but one day Mike heard a knock at the door. When he opened it, there sitting on the step was the small birdhouse he made when he was young. He picked it up and smiled to himself, remembering how much fun he had with his dad as he made it. But then he remembered all the abuse they went through. He should hate his father, yet somehow he didn't. Ty and Axl didn't understand. He kept the birdhouse.
Anders stared at his fish tank. He just sat and watched his little fish swim along, and he could hear his father's voice explaining to him what kind of fish they were, and laughing as he reminded Anders that he needed to feed the fish. Even though his father hit him multiple times he couldn't help but still love him. He still loved the dad who would take him to parks with Mike, and would take him to aquariums to lazily watch the fish. Maybe that dad was still out there, but Ty and Axl would never understand what it was like actually having a proper father like Mike and Anders did. He held his hand up to the glass.
"I still love you dad. Even if did become a bastard."
