I can't believe this is the first Kingsman fic I post, but... I think it's finished so, here it is! Enjoy and review ^^
Eggsy couldn't exactly say how the whole situation had come to be… but by the time Jamal and Ryan started re-enacting the last time he chanced jail time, they were all proper sloshed.
Harry sipped his subpar beer, "I can't believe you risked prison for a fox and threw away your chance at a position at the table over a dog. I don't know how you ever take hard decisions."
Jamal and Ryan exchanged quietly disbelieving looks. Jamal raised an eyebrow, and Ryan turned to Harry (Eggsy tried not to groan).
"Bruv, he care about animals more than fuckin' persons, that's how."
"Remember the time he bit the headmaster over a kitten?"
"I was seven!"
"You ain't changed any, bruv."
"Yeah, you give him a gun and tell him to chose between a random passerby and a random dog I dunno who he choose."
"That's enough, mate, less I start talkin' about you and girls-"
"Bleeding hell, Eggsy! No need to get out the big guns for a bit of friendly ribbing, is there?" Eggsy's hand answered for him, pushing itself in Jamal's face without clearing it with his brain first. But whatever. The wanker deserved it.
Harry snorts, straight up snorts without even covering it with his hand, making a sound like the bubbles from his beer got up his nose and Eggsy gets so distracted by laughing at him that Jamal manages to get free of his hold. 'Course, by that point, he's twisted around so much it's more of a big deal the fact that he doesn't end up face-planting on the floor, so whatever. Ryan's looking like he may just tip him over for shits and giggles, and the nice bartender from before is giving them the evil eye, so maybe they're having just a smidge too much fun.
When Harry starts seriously debating with himself if another beer may just be the thing, Eggsy decides they should cut their losses while ahead, and starts the long and convoluted process of nudging his mates outside without them stopping for another drink. Or to try and pick up a girl, which'd be worse. Harry is of no use, the little shit, looking at them and grinning like he's some benevolent patron good and not three sheets to the wind like everyone else.
When Eggsy finally gets all four out of the pub without triggering a bar-fight, he's so pleased with himself he nearly walks right into the Kingsman cab that just pulled up. Face first. Without opening the door. He clearly needs the sleep.
They pile into the backseats like uncoordinated puppies and he doesn't know whose leg his face is smashed against (or what soft part of the male anatomy his knee is resting on) when Merlin pings in his ear.
"Puppies, Unwin? Really." He groans and,
"Fuck you, man. Just, fuck you too."
He thinks he falls asleep with Merlin's deep laughter in his ears but he may just as well have fainted, so whatever.
