AN: Finally getting around to posting this here. This was written back in February for Swan Queen Week Winter 2018. It followed all the prompts but one, as this was a non magical story 'sucked in' wouldn't work. As always, I still do not own anything of Once I just enjoy playing with it's base characters. :) Let me know what you think!
The kid couldn't hack it,
She's back and she's walkin' real slow.
Welcome home.
Just breathe.
"Straighten the spine. Smile like you mean it," Emma quietly commanded her reflection, watching her body elongate with tired eyes and a false smile spread across her makeupless lips. "Suck that pouch in. That's right. Try to look like you can do this."
Today was the day. She would be going back to work after what felt like the shortest six weeks that ever existed in the realm of maternity leave. Apparently having a baby didn't rank high enough in the world of television to warrant time at home with her newborn son, Henry.
But it'll be fine, she thought. It has to be fine. We can do this.
Taking one last look at the prominent dark circles under her eyes and the body that's still hers but not with all of its new soft curves and gentles dips that have long replaced hard lines and hip bones, she sighed. Today would be rough but at least Regina would be only a phone call away when she undoubtedly went down the rails.
Even with the reassurance of her wife it still took everything in her to not crawl back into bed on her way through the bedroom. She knew she couldn't but the want was strong. Being an adult sucked sometimes but she was determined to adult with the best of them.
Her scheduled time to be on set was eight o'clock and damn it she was going to be on time and prove that you could be a working mom in this industry like the countless other women around her.
"If Alyson Hannigan can do it so can I," she grumbled.
At least she hoped she could.
Dammit, she scolded herself, be positive!
Positivity wasn't always her strong suit but she had to give it a try, she just had to. If not the alternative would be crying and that was also something she wasn't too good with but with all of those lingering hormones from her pregnancy and the strange phenomena that occurred every time she looked down at her sleeping son's rounded face in the middle of the night she'd sadly come to one horrifying conclusion. She was a hysterical cryer. And it was not okay. Not at all.
Emma Swan-Mills was not okay with becoming a cryer. Her wife on the other hand found it to be the funniest most endearing thing she'd ever witnessed in their six years of being together.
"The strong Emma Swan reduced to tears over a sock," she'd teased one afternoon when she'd found Emma in the middle of the nursery with a basket of laundry bawling into a handful of teeny tiny socks clutched to her chest.
It wasn't her fault that the thought of those itty bitty baby feet growing had caused her to break into uncontrollable sobs. It could happen to anyone.
Sighing, Emma shook herself from the memory as she descended the stairs. The last thing she needed was a trigger to set off a take two of the 'he'll be growing so fast and I'm going to miss it because I'm always at work' sobfest that had claimed her last night. She instead focused on the smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen.
Coffee good. Crying jag bad. Coffee good. Crying jag bad. Coffee good. Crying jag bad.
She continued the mantra all the way to the kitchen, where she froze in place, transfixed by the sight of her wife swaying in front of the sliding glass doors that lead to the backyard, haloed in the early morning light while she sang quietly to their son. Emma couldn't hear the whispered words Regina hummed into the captivated boy's ear but she knew that whatever they were would without a doubt be saturated with the love both women felt for the tiny human they'd brought into existence.
And that was all it took to send her reeling.
Tears stung the backs of her eyes and the longing she felt to hold Henry and Regina was so strong it stole her breath away. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to leave this perfect bubble they'd found themselves in for the last few weeks. It was too soon. She wasn't ready to lose these moments that filled her with a level of peace and contentment she didn't know her body could physically contain. Screw Alyson Hannigan. Screw adulthood. Screw being an actress. She was a weepy mess of a woman running on no sleep who didn't want to leave her family and she didn't give a fuck all who knew it.
A harsh sniffle at the back of the room caught Regina's attention and when she looked up to find Emma, she spotted the tears that were already welled up in those sea green eyes and watched Emma's face begin blotch pink with the effort she was putting in to keep the moisture from falling. The sight made Regina feel equal parts amusement and sadness for her wife who was clearly struggling to keep it together.
"Oh nena," she crooned, shifting Henry in her arms so that she could extend one out invitingly. "Come here."
Emma needed no more invitation than that to blindly stumble across the open space with tear blurred eyes, snuggling herself into the space Regina had created for her with a stifled sob. "I hate this," she lamented into warm perfume scented skin.
Regina chuckled softly, pressing her lips against Emma's temple. "The crying or the leaving?"
Both was the muffled answer she got in return and it only made her chuckle more.
"When you woke up you were excited to get back to work and see Mary Margaret again. You even said the scenes with Killian would be decent ones today- lots of fighting in the ER and how you'd finally get to be the doctor in control during a crisis," she soothed, her hand brushing along Emma's curved spine comfortingly. "What changed between then and now?"
"This. You. Him. Us."
Emma's arm flopped around them like that was explanation enough. Sighing, she lifted her head up and smiled a watery smile down at Henry who was none the wiser that today both of his mothers would be away from him for the first time in his little life. "You just looked so- I don't know. I don't want this happy bubble we're in to pop yet. What if he misses us? What if Mrs. Poppins can't remember how to swaddle him the right way?"
A frown began to form on Regina's brow and she cocked her head to the side in askance. "He doesn't like to be swaddled."
"EXACTLY! What if she forgets that! What if he starves while I'm gone? You know he hasn't taken to the bottle as well as the boob! And!"
Henry's soft whine of displeasure stopped Emma's tirade before Regina could even open her mouth to protest those not so valid fears. Retracting her arm from around her wife, Regina began to pat his back gently, swaying from side to side to calm the little boy's growing upset. "Shhhh, you both need to calm down. I know he hasn't really taken to the bottle but Emma he won't starve. He'll feed just fine when he's hungry enough. And it's not like he's going to be with the nanny all day. I only have that one meeting and I promise I won't let it run long. He'll be fine with me once I'm home."
A flush of embarrassment flooded Emma's already reddened cheeks, "I know. I know that. God- what the hell is wrong with me? I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean for it to sound like I didn't trust you." With shaky fingers she traced the puckered frown between Henry's soft dusting of eyebrows to try and ease the upset away. "Just… Ignore everything I just said. I'm sorry little man, I didn't mean to scare you with my freak out. S'all good in the hood."
Regina snickered but shifted the baby in her arms so that Emma could take him. "I would hardly call the Hills the hood my love, and for the record I don't think there is anything wrong with you either. You're sleep deprived, hormonal, and understandably nervous. None of that equates to 'wrong' in my book."
"Is this where you pep talk me and tell me to just imagine everyone in their underwear? Because if so can I put a hard pass on Killian? I've already had to see him shirtless and there is only so much body hair I can stomach visually," Emma grimaced, adjusting Henry as he rooted around against her chest with growing alertness.
Regina barked out a pleased laugh as she poured them each a cup of coffee. "I don't think any of my pep talks would ever include envisioning him in his underwear so I'm pleased we're both on the same page there." Adding a little extra dip of creamer to Emma's, she carried both mugs over to the table and settled beside the seat Emma claimed in order to feed Henry. "Though I can't say I'd be any happier with you picturing any of your coworkers undressed but if that's what will get you through the day…"
Emma scoffed, her fingers deftly setting to work on unbuttoning the top few buttons of her shirt. "Please, the only person I want to imagine anywhere near naked is sitting right next to me. And no, I'm not talking about the baby, thank you very much."
Regina couldn't help the self satisfied smirk her lips quirked into at that. She raised the warm mug of coffee to her lips but didn't take a sip, instead she watched the tiny squawking boy grow more frustrated when his blonde mother took too long unclasping her nursing bra, his little face skewing up and flushed as a real wail filled the kitchen followed by another and another.
"He's certainly coming into those lungs isn't he," she said, about to reach out and assist him in latching on when he finally landed his mark and greedily set to suckling down his second breakfast of the morning.
"You mean he's kind of a tyrant? Yeah, I'm seeing that," Emma snorted and rolled her eyes. Regina would have believed the affronted air if it weren't for her tender smile she cast down at the now content Henry. "Now if only the boob would make him chill during the colic hour we'd be set! Think you can try and persuade him into that while I'm gone?"
Quirking an eyebrow up, Regina smirked again. "You want me to sing the praises of your breasts to our six week old?"
It was meant in jest, truly, she couldn't help but tease her other half but Regina didn't miss the real meaning behind her words, that subtle admission that Emma intended to go to work despite the ups and downs of her postpartum anxiety.
"Heeeey, I'm just saying of anyone in this world I think you'd be the best person to sing their praises since you love them so much yourself Mills," Emma grinned a proud cheeky smile that faded as her eyes returned to their son, unease twisting her stomach into knots once more. "You'll send me pictures while I'm gone right?"
"Of course I will," Regina promised, choosing to glaze past the talk of her love of a certain nipply part of her wife. "I think we could even be pushed to facetime you between takes with the right incentive."
Relief swam across Emma's face and for the first time all morning the weight on her chest lifted just a bit. She laughed and wiggled her eyebrows faux suggestively, "I'm sure I could come up with something good."
It took a sleeping baby, quite a few kisses and a full thermos of decaf from the best wife in the world to get Emma to finally leave the house but she did it. And… it wasn't bad. Sure that itchy feeling of not being where she should be stuck around but after such a warm welcome back from the cast and crew she couldn't help but feel a little more at ease.
She answered all the questions about life with the new baby and showed off every picture of her little man to anyone who so much as glanced at her phone and it was good. Much better than she'd thought it would be. And with each new picture text she received from Regina and later Mrs. Poppins she slowly but surely felt like she was treading water instead of drowning under it.
Maybe this working mom thing wouldn't be as difficult as her over tired mind had made it seem.
It was early in the afternoon when Emma was finally able to take the second break of her day, much to the annoyance of the director.
The obnoxiously loud suction sound produced by her Medela pump filled the small trailer she usually shared with Mary Margaret but it didn't bother her any. After dealing with the nightly screaming fits courtesy of a colic ridden Henry that lasted hours at a time for the last three weeks the rhythmic pull of the pump was nothing at all. Hell it could even be chalked up to background noise as she skimmed her lines and absently nibbled on a cheese stick.
But her moment of peaceful privacy was short lived when a knock sounded over the din. Startled, Emma scrambled to turn the machine off. She could feel the trickle of milk leak into the folded fabric of her nursing bra as she detached the pump too soon but it didn't matter, another knock sounded from her door and she hurried to cover herself though the door was securely locked. "Just a minute," she yelled, flustered.
A minute went by and then two but she finally managed to get back into her shirt, breast pads in place to stop any more leaks, and was about to stash her freshly pumped milk in the little fridge that came in the trailer when her boss, Mr. Gold, called from the other side of the door.
"Are you alright in there Miss Swan?"
"Um, yeah- everything's fine," she answered, moving to unlock the door rather than continue cleaning up. Emma opened the door to an unsmiling Gold, "Sorry about that. I was, well," holding up the clear bag of milk with a sheepish smile, she moved back to allow him inside.
"That's quite alright dearie," but from his tone it didn't sound alright at all, though to be fair Carlisle Gold never really sounded okay with anything. There was always a lilt of insincerity to him that had always rubbed her the wrong way but for the most part she'd managed to get by with him by doing a good job in her role and steering clear of the older man whenever she could manage. "And how is the strapping young man? At home with Regina I presume?"
Emma smiled weakly and moved to put away the spoils of her pumping session, feeling all the more awkward for having left the breast shields out on the counter. She shifted her weight and inched closer to the counter, hoping to hide them from his view. "He's doing good. Pretty sure he'll be going off to college any day now," she awkwardly joked, leaning back against the counter. "So, what's up? You don't normally make house calls."
Gold chuckled and nodded his head. "Never one to beat around the bush. That's why I enjoy you Miss Swan."
It grated on Emma's nerves the way he'd never refer to her by her name. Her full name, the one she taken on with pride and love the day she and Regina vowed to their friends and family and each other to have and to hold and all of that other stuff that made her chest clench with feelings she didn't always voice aloud. She knew it stemmed from some old industry feud between Regina's mother, the indomitable Cora Mills, but still. It irked her.
"No, I uh, guess not. So shoot. Was that last take not okay?"
"No, no. Your performance was quite adequate. This has to do with your contract. As you know, Albert, Leopold, and myself were supportive when you came to us and announced your little surprise," he began.
Supportive being the understatement of the year.
When she'd come to her showrunners with the news that they were expecting she was met with antagonism and barely concealed contempt. How dare she take their vision of Claire Holt, lead female surgeon on Boston Memorial, and make her no more than a background piece delegated to file holding and tightly filmed shots behind large reception desks and medical cots.
"We understand your delicate situation and would be willing to offer assistance to get you back to where you were before."
Emma frowned, not following him. "Get me back to where I was?"
"Yes, we've come together as a team and after lengthy debate on what to do to solve this little discrepancy we're willing to fund a personal trainer to further your progress, while understanding that some of your… assets… will be unchanged through the process for some time," Gold continued with a glance at the poorly concealed breast shields behind Emma.
Everything around Emma seemed to stop and her heart began to pick up pace. A personal trainer?
"As you are well aware of there is a five pound fluctuation clause in your contract," Gold pushed on when it didn't seem like his lead actress was catching on. "Now while we are understanding of your situation it is still mandated that you adhere to your contractual agreement. We were generous with allowing you to stay on while in your condition but now it's time to buckle down."
Stunned. She was stunned. Gold continued to speak but the buzzing in her ears kept her from being able to take anything he was saying in. Emma could feel her body flush with embarrassment and shame.
"We would hate for it to come down to termination Emma. You're a bright girl and have done wonders for this show."
Her condition. He'd called her son a condition. She still had baby weight and now it was a situation. A situation that if not handled could get her fired. She was going to be fired because she still had fifteen pounds worth of baby weight clinging to her hips and abdomen.
She couldn't think. Not with Gold staring at her expectantly. Had he asked her a question? She was hot and overwhelmed and could feel hot tears burning in her eyes from the shame that came with this kind of conversation.
"I'll… figure it out," Emma managed but it sounded off even to her own ringing ears. "Thank you."
Gold must have heard it too because for a moment his lips twitched in what could only loosely be described as a pitying smile. "Very good, I know you won't let us down Miss Swan."
The moment the trailer door closed behind the retreating form of her boss, Emma lost her control. She slumped back against the counter, tears blotting the dull gray walls out, and she couldn't stop the sobs that clawed their way up her chest.
She was going to be fired because of something that was so natural. So normal. She'd had a baby and now her job was in jeopardy because of it. Why hadn't she stayed home? Away from reality and the world and men who viewed her as nothing but a body on a screen and not a person with emotions and feelings.
Her heart was beating too hard. She couldn't breathe. All she wanted was Regina and Henry and for this mess to not be real.
Blindly grabbing her bag from the table, Emma felt for her keys, escape the only part of her brain that was able to think past the upset. She had to leave and she had to leave now.
Regina's phone began to vibrate in quick succession with notifications the second she was free from the latest production meeting with her team. The new project they were in the works of ironing out looked promising and had her feeling genuinely excited to dig deeper into the newest script that Tamara had given her to go over one last time before they could finally begin filming their pilot.
A modern twist on fairy tales. Ones that focused on strong women, that turned heteronormativity on its head and celebrated women of color. It was a project that fit in the climate of today when me too's and time's up and representation meant something. When women in the industry were tired of being pushed aside, paid less, and taken advantage of.
Regina was proud of her team of women who were out to change the views of network television head on.
She was so excited. She couldn't wait to tell Emma. Her wife would be busy filming she figured, what with it being the middle of the afternoon, but she could leave her a message to listen to between scenes.
Fishing her phone out of her purse, Regina's excitement instantly took a dip the moment she caught sight of the messages that lit up her home screen.
Is Emma with you?
Have you heard from Emma?
Ms. Mills, has your wife called you?
Ms. Mills, could you please call us at your earliest convenience? Thank you.
They can't find Emma on set and she isn't answering her phone. Is she with you?
We can't find her, did she sneak off to go home for a minute?
Hey Regina, this is Leroy, have you seen Em? She's missing from set and they're kind of freaking out.
Each message she read made her stomach twist. Emma was missing? These messages were time stamped at the earliest an hour ago. Regina's heart stuttered as she quickened her pace out of the office and beelined straight for her car. Her phone was pressed firmly to her ear by the time her heels hit the asphalt.
Each unanswered ring made the confusion she felt steadily shift toward worry. It wasn't like Emma to not answer her. There would always be a quick text back if a call wasn't possible. Still the dial tone rang on.
"Hey!"
"Oh thank god, Em-"
"Sorry I missed your call! Leave a mes-"
Regina hissed and ended the call only to stab the call button again as the call switched automatically over to hands free calling the second she slid in behind the wheel. "Answer the phone Emma," she growled at the ringing that blared through her speakers.
Where could she be? She was scheduled to be on set until late into the evening and it wasn't like her to leave without letting someone know where she'd gone. Not after that coffee run incident a few years back at least. She knew better.
Maybe she fell asleep in her trailer, Regina nervously thought, speeding through a red light in her hurry to get home. Her thumb hovered over the command button on her steering wheel for a moment before she committed. "Call Mary Margaret."
It took less than a second for the call to connect before the anxious voice of her wife's castmate came squeaking through the sound system. "Oh my god Regina! Please tell me she's with you!"
The vein hope Regina had allowed to bubble up faded before it had time to fully blossom. "No, she isn't. I was in a meeting, what the hell happened? What do you mean you can't find her?!"
"I don't know what happened! We were getting ready to film a scene but she didn't come back to set. I thought she might have fallen asleep, I know she was tired when she got here but when the assistant director came back he said that she wasn't in the trailer! We've been looking for her for over an hour Regina. No one can get ahold of her. Production's been shut down. Spencer and Gold are furious. My dad's worried. She hasn't called you?!"
Regina could feel the steady shift to fear welling in her chest but she batted it down. She had to be smart about this. She had to find her wife and getting upset wouldn't help her with that. There would be time for fear later- if… no. No, she couldn't think of the if's. Not yet. Not ever if she had her way.
"I know. Gold and your father left me quite a few messages and voicemails but if she'd called me do you really think I would be on the phone with you right now trying to figure out what happened," Regina snapped and turned onto their street, her heart edging up her throat when she spied a flash of yellow between the shrubbery that lined their fenced in property.
The relief was so instantaneous Regina almost choked up. Thank. God.
"Her car's in the driveway. I've got to go."
She didn't wait for Mary Margaret to respond before she ended the call. Hell, she barely gave the gate time to open before she was rolling into the driveway beside her wife's ridiculous yellow bug. A ridiculous yellow bug she'd never been so thrilled to see.
In her rush to get inside Regina left everything behind in the car, the driver side door wide open as she rushed into the house.
"Emma?! Emma, are you here?"
Silence.
No sounds of her wife nor the cries of their son sounded back at her. She couldn't even hear the telltale sounds of humming from the nanny in the small home and that made the relief Regina'd felt so acutely upon arrival waver, leaving room for that terrible fear to flourish anew.
"Emma? Emma Swan you answer me," she demanded with more vibrato than she felt, ascending the stairs two at a time. "Emma? Emma are you here?"
A peek into the nursery turned up nothing but an empty crib and rocker. Shit.
Now the fear was palpable. It coursed through her veins unhindered. Every postpartum horror story she'd read in the last few weeks sprung to mind. Horror stories that ended in cars in lakes, mistakes in bathtubs, and for a wild minute she pictured the worst of the worst. Emma, laying still with a lifeless Henry, the pressure of going back to work having been too much. His crying too much. The encouragement she'd been giving her having been misguided and cold instead of supportive like she'd thought she'd been. Did she read Emma wrong? Did she miss critical signs?
Pushing their master bedroom door open, Regina stopped short. The nightmare in her mind coming to fruition when her wild eyes landed on the two huddled forms in the middle of their bed.
"Emma," her voice choked around the fast forming lump in her throat. No. No, no, no. It was just an errant thought- it wasn't real. It wasn't.
The soft hiss of breath that came from Emma nearly made Regina sob in relief but when that beautiful face she'd sworn to love for the rest of their days lifted from the mattress her heart stuttered once more with overwhelming concern. "Emma, what happened?"
Emma's face crumpled long before Regina swept across the length of the bedroom to settle at her back, curled against her with protective arms encircling her from behind.
"Talk to me mi vida."
No amount of strength could have aided Emma in her attempts to remain quiet, not when Regina whispered promises of help and comfort and love. Harsh sobs racked her body, her arms tightening infantismally around Henry out of need to feel grounded to something.
"I can't do this," Emma bawled, the tears too thick to make out more than the blur of her son's soft downy crown below her chin. "They- Gold said I- I h-had to get a personal trainer to lose- I'm n-not what- what they w-want f-for Claire like this. I tr-tried. S-so h-hard!"
Of all the things that Regina had thought could be the reason for all the upset not once had the appearance of her wife being unpleasant to the producers been one to cross her mind.
Missing their son? Absolutely.
Being too tired and deciding to come home and rest? Definitely. They were still trying to figure out how to navigate sleeping and feeding and everything that came with being parents. It was exhausting.
Even postpartum baby blues ranked higher on her list of possibilities than the remaining baby weight that gave her wife beautiful subtle curves to her hips and a fullness to her that looked more whole and complete as a person than the skin and bones look she'd had to her when they first met if truth be told.
What, were they also enraged over the swell of her breasts now that she was nursing too?
In an instant Regina's tone dropped from warm and loving to lethal. "Excuse me?"
Sniffling harshly, Emma tilted her head back enough to catch Regina's furious gaze. "I'm too f-"
"I swear on all that is good in this world if you say you're too fat I will throttle you along with Gold and Albert and Leopold and whoever else fell into agreement with this level of stupidity," Regina growled a little too loudly and extracted herself from the family huddle, reaching for her phone that she only now realized was still in her car with a curse. "Damn it! I need your phone."
Henry's little chest heaved a startled breath at the command that left his mother's lips, his splayed hands jerked up towards his face where they lingered, the picture of alarmed even in his sleep.
Regina winced and watched a single slate gray eye crack open a sliver on baited breath, a breath she didn't let free until that eye drifted closed once more. In her relief, she silently mouthed an apology to her tearful wife and nodded for Emma to follow her out of the room.
Once Emma was sure the makeshift pillow bed rails would contain their relatively immobile son, she tentatively slipped from the bedroom, leaving the door ajar incase the napping boy woke up. It was only when she was in the hallway did she realize she was still dressed in the too tight scrubs her character on Boston Memorial wore, the unflattering sight of straining pastel pink material against her abdomen made her already low mood plummet all the more.
"I'm sorry I yelled," Regina intoned, slipping into Emma's space without hesitation. "I'm not mad at you, darling. I'm furious that Gold had the audacity to say that to you. It's not right and I promise I'll handle this. Carlisle has no right-"
"It's in my contract Regina. He wasn't wrong. I mean look," her hands moved to show her wife the swell of her abdomen when Regina grabbed hold of her wrists to stop her.
"No. There is no look. There is no justification, contract or not. You just had a baby six weeks ago Emma! To not put that into account is absurd. If they're willing to pay for a personal trainer they can shell out for a new god damn scrubs," Regina seethed, anger sharpening her words more than she intended. How dare they plant such cruel, ugly seeds of doubt in her wife's head when she was already so vulnerable, so prone to tears, and so very believing of garbage like what was said today.
Emma's slounders slumped under the heat of Regina's words, her eyes cast downward, "That's not how it works. You know that."
Making an effort to lighten her tone, Regina released Emma's wrists in favor of cupping her cheeks, forcing her wife to look up at her. Her warm honeyed eyes took in every red blotch of skin and tear streak that decorated the demoralized woman's face. It hurt to see Emma so upset over the stupid words of stupid old men who had no place to criticize the magic that transformed their lives so beautifully.
Thoughtlessly, she pressed a kiss against one tear track then the other. She kissed Emma's eyes and her nose and the corner of her lips just to feel them tug into a weak smile over the show of devotion. "You made a life in that beautiful body nena. You are perfect. You don't need to worry about losing weight. Not now, not ever," Regina breathed, a hand slipping from Emma's cheek to the back of her neck so that they could remain close. "I'll take care of this. I promise."
And for the first time since her one sided conversation with Gold the poisonous words and doubt eased to the back of her mind, quieted by the cool rationality that was Regina. The words weren't gone, the threat to her job and fear that came with it didn't disappear but for the moment they were blessedly silenced. She slumped into Regina's hold and closed her eyes, breathing in the spicy scent that drove away the remaining wisps of worry.
"I don't deserve you."
Regina chuckled and snuggled in closer and swayed their bodies in place much like she would with Henry, her lips ghosting against Emma's warm skin. "No mi vida, you deserve so much more."
The first thing Emma registered when she woke was that she had somehow, miraculously, fallen asleep. The other thing was that she was once again alone in the bedroom for the second time that day.
After the hushed conversation in the hallway Regina had pulled her back into the bedroom where they'd both lain down, sandwiching Henry between the valley of their bodies, their legs entwined in a hopeless tangle of reassurance and comfort. She vaguely remembered the tips of Regina's fingers skating across her cheek and forehead, along the curve of her jaw and around her chin, over and over again, repeating the same soothing trail until her eyes refused to remain open. The next thing she realized was that she was waking up.
"R'gina," she mumbled, confused over how rested she felt. How long had she been asleep for? Her chest ached, swollen and uncomfortable so it had to have been longer than she'd been getting lately.
Climbing out of bed, Emma rubbed her face and headed out of the bedroom, taking note that it had grown dark since the last time she'd looked outside. She could hear faint frustrated voices from downstairs, the closer she got to them the more heated Regina sounded.
"I'm not all that concerned about the backlash from an arrogant penedjo like Albert Spencer, Marian, he's a vile chauvinistic pig who has done nothing but demean women in the industry for years. If my tweets cause any of them a moment of turmoil it will have been worth it."
Emma could hear Marian's sigh and knew just from that that their friend would be shaking her head.
"But it's her career Regina. It's her job. I know you're mad-"
Regina scoffed and Emma paused, not exactly eavesdropping but not exactly not either. Her curiosity to hear Regina's unrestrained thoughts too tempting turn up.
"That's quite an understatement. I'm murderous. Do you know how terrifying it is to hear that your wife is missing only to find out the reason she felt the need to run was because someone preyed on the best parts of her? She made this incredible little person and now she's being penalized for it! They made her feel like garbage Marian and for what? A few pounds? For the sexappeal of some delusional twenty-something white boy who doesn't understand that every curve she has is breathtaking?"
The sound of someone getting up from a couch could be heard and Emma shifted awkwardly, feeling like she shouldn't have been listening to the private conversation after all. She wasn't entirely sure what she felt but breathtaking certainly wasn't it. She didn't feel confident and sure like Regina sounded. She felt ashamed and uncomfortable and worried about the future of her job on Boston Memorial and what it could mean for future positions later.
"No one is saying you're wrong."
Another scoff sounded and Emma peeked into the room to see Regina sitting on the floor, her legs spread with Henry sprawled between them on a blanket. She looked the picture of domesticated life with a simple pair of leggings and an old shirt of Emma's that had survived from her college days. The sight tugged at Emma's heart.
How had she managed to earn this life? A wife who stole her clothes and loved her so much she'd fight for her honor in a profession where honor meant little if you weren't a caucasian male. A son who was so perfect it made her cry regularly. As a kid growing up without a family of her own this life never seemed plausible. When climbing every fire escape in Hunts Point was her only avenue of escape, and yearning to get out lead to working hard, studying even harder, scraping together every dollar she earned with scholarships that afforded her a ticket to freedom across the country, away from the nowhere she was headed if she stayed.
In California it was warm and inviting and full of possibilities instead of cold and broken and suffocating. She struggled and pushed back against everything that said she would fail. And had it not been for a fluke meeting at the coffee shop she worked in during her freshman year at CalArts she's sure that her life wouldn't be anywhere near where it was today.
That was when a no named barista, exhausted from life and school and demoralized after yet another terrible audition, messed up the overly fancy order of a snarky child star that came attached to an industry savvy name. Regina had been rude. Emma even more so. And yet the next day the great Cora Mills daughter had returned, her dark eyes sharp and sure and tempting.
It wasn't long after the daily coffee stops turned into conversation that centered around commiseration over the stress of keeping up with school while chasing the dream and how terrible Emma was at making a decent cup of joe. From there they became friends, allies. Someone who could be trusted to be honest when two faced talent agents and producers spread just as much trash as they did praise.
And then it all changed with a cliche kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve after one too many glasses of bubbly champagne that tickled their noses and warmed their bellies at a party in the Hills that was more elegant than anything the then twenty year old Emma had ever seen. They'd fallen hot and heavy after that. All tongues and teeth and as Emma again looked in on her wife in the living room they'd decorated together she couldn't help but struggle to understand how she'd managed to achieve this.
"No one but the gringos are saying you're wrong," Marian amended, bringing Emma back to the conversation. "I just don't think engaging in a passive aggressive Twitter war is going to help Emma."
Tired of hiding, Emma moved away from the wall and put her so called talent to use. She forced a yawn and called out tiredly, "R'gina?"
The living room fell silent for a minute then the rich sound of her wife's voice answered. "In the living room nena."
Emma rounded the corner with a weak smile, pretending to be shocked at the sight of Marian on the floor with her wife. "Oh, hey. When did you get here?"
Dark eyes gave her a curious once over before rolling dramatically. "How do you get any jobs," Marian demanded, turning her attention down to Henry and softening her tone conspiratorially, "Your Momma has the worst acting face I've ever seen! Yes she does! She's terrible! Umhmm! Tía needs to buy her a workshop pass huh mijito! She needs to take some more classes! Yes she does, yes she does!"
The flush that spread through Emma's cheeks was instantaneous, she'd always been a terrible liar when it came to the two women on the floor. Ever since Marian stormed into Starbucks all those years ago demanding to know 'how serious are you about my best friend' Emma knew she'd never successfully get away with anything with the scrappy latina. With a rueful smile she moved further into the room, taking a seat behind Regina who shot her a look over her shoulder that was more amused than accusing. "I do decently enough, thank you! I'm not that terrible. Don't listen to her kid," she added and reached around her wife to rub Henry's rounded belly lovingly.
"How long have you been standing there," Regina asked, leaning back into Emma's embrace.
Emma pulled her hand back from Henry, curling it around Regina's middle with a squeeze. She nuzzled her nose against the warm skin of her wife's neck and pressed a kiss to that spot that turned Regina into mush if she did it enough. "Long enough to hear you're being a keyboard warrior again. Do I want to know what you said?"
Regina shrugged her shoulders, effectively moving Emma from her pulse point. Instead of answering right away she devoted her attention to the alert little boy between her legs. Taking his onesie covered feet in her hands, she carefully moved his legs in a bicycle motion. "He's been gassy," she answered in lieu of the question, her eyes only for Henry.
"Regina," Emma coaxed, resting her chin on her shoulder.
"Ay dios mio, you two are disgusting. I thought a baby would mean less this," Marian griped with flick of her wrist. She pushed herself up from her place by Henry's head to stand over the little family. "But I was clearly wrong. It's gross for us who are perpetually single, just so you know, and really you may as well tell her what you did. It's not like she won't find out sooner or later. Besides, I'm sure that annoying little agent of hers is all up in a tizzy texting peaches right now, bouncing on the furniture as she types, yelling NO TWITTER."
"Edna isn't that bad," Emma rebuffed, her attention still only for her wife. "Regina. Please..."
A long suffering sigh fell from Regina and for a moment she ignored her best friend and her pleading wife, choosing to lean down to talk to Henry who wriggled beneath her hands, his heavy breathing and grunts making her smile just as much as his wide captivated grey eyes did. "I make a few heated tweets directed at the misogynistic men who are being mean to your Momma and suddenly I'm the one in trouble for speaking my mind, not the fact that they're insufferable old fools hell bent on degrading women to nothing more than sexualized objects on television. How is that fair, hmm?"
"You said what!?"
Regina pressed a kiss against Henry's rounded cheek and chuckled at the involuntary open mouthed swipe she earned as a reward for her affections. She could feel Emma's eyes fixated on her and it lessened the fluttery feelings of love her son stirred up. She straightened, turning enough to look back at her wife, and shrugged. "I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done yourself had it been me falling under scrutiny."
Marian snorted. "Yeah, you only shot off some not so passive aggressive tweets about how old men in Hollywood need to get their heads out of their asses and realize that women are more than just their body image."
"You didn't. Regina," Emma groaned and dropped her forehead against her wife's shoulder, "Please tell me you took them down before anyone could see them."
"Ooooh please, like she would ever do something like that," Marian jumped in again before Regina could answer. "That's not even the best part!"
"Do I even want to know," Emma questioned, lifting her head up enough to see Marian's face bright with amusement.
Regina, tired of being talked over, rubbed Emma's thigh reassuringly. "It wasn't as bad as she's making it out to be. I simply stated my opinion on matters with a few people who chimed in. I never once said it was related to you or what happened while you were at work," she hedged, her nose wrinkling a bit as she winced. "At least until Mary Margaret got involved and tagged Leopold asking if that's why you left set early today."
All color drained from Emma's face. She was dead. That was it. Her job was over.
Marian whooped and laughed, clapping her hands. "It was priceless! I've never seen anyone's phone light up so fast. It was like one of those Christmas light shows."
The loud noise of Marian clapping paired with her excited laughter startled Henry. His tiny bottom lip jutted out pathetically and his face scrunched with displeasure as he whined at both of his Mothers as though asking them to make the sudden scary noise stop. A pitiful wail fell from him and Regina shot a glare at her best friend. "Please refrain from scaring my son you heathen," she scolded gently, scooping up her squirming boy with ease despite his upset. "Shhh, I know," she agreed with every upset cry that left his little self, "She is horrible, I know!"
"Oooooh mijito," Marian cooed but didn't move closer to the trio on the floor, "Don't listen to her! I'm didn't mean to scare you, Tía's sorry!"
Emma tuned everything they said out. She was too busy agonizing over the conversation that was no doubt happening between her bosses right now to care about her crying son. "Oh my god," she moaned, folding into herself, the edges of a panic attack threatening to hit hard. "They're going to let me go. I'm going to lose my job. They're going to fire me!"
"They're not going to fire you," Regina soothed between bouncing Henry.
"They will! And then I'll be labeled difficult to work with and no one will want to hire me! How will we afford the house? The car payments. My student loans- food! I don't have any other talents! I don't even think Starbucks will hire me back! I sucked as a barista. Oh my god we'll have to move in with your mother," Emma lamented, her mind spiraling in the worst way.
She could see it all happening so easily. First they'd miss a car payment, then another, and another. The mortgage payments would be next. The next thing they'd know a sign saying foreclosure would be posted on their front door. Regina would hate her because of her inability to provide for them and Cora Mills would purse her lips and demand her daughter divorce her on the spot. She'd lose Henry in the custody battle. She'd end up living under a bridge.
Emma pulled away from Regina and their crying son, needing to pace- to move, to do anything but sit while the dream life she had been thinking about just moments before burst into flames.
Marian snickered, not quite as amused as she'd been to tell the tales of Regina's internet cursaide. "Well that digressed quickly."
"Shut up Marian," Regina snapped but her words lacked the heat they normally held. Her pensive gaze followed Emma's path around the room, watching every flash of fear and upset that danced across her pale features. Remorse twisted her gut, maybe she'd been wrong to engage with Leopold. She thought she'd been helping. Regina only wanted to help.
Regina, eyes still only for Emma, quietly spoke, "Marian will you go get the pizza from the kitchen please? We need a moment."
Silently Marian nodded and left, leaving Emma and Regina with a still whimpering Henry.
"Emma," Regina began, carefully standing up from the floor, her arms never stopping the gentle bouncing of their son. "Talk to me."
Emma whirled around to face her, slender fingers strung tightly through her golden locks out of necessity to hold onto something, anything. "This could be so bad Regina. I know you were only trying to help, to defend me, I know you said you'd handle this but babe when you said that I thought you meant privately calling Gold or Spencer. Maybe getting your mom to do it because she's scary. Not blasting this all over the interwebs for everyone to read."
Regina sighed and moved to the not so small swing beside the couch where she placed a grizzly Henry, securely strapping him in and setting the speed to match her own rocking. "I tried that Emma."
That stopped Emma mid step, her frown only growing as she rounded on Regina once more. "You did?"
"Yes," came the frustrated retort. Regina sighed again and closed her eyes to remind herself that getting upset with Emma was not the point of this. Opening her eyes, she started again, calmly this time. "I called Carlisle, producer to producer. I explained why such an action would be reprehensible in light of everything happening in the media right now. And when that had no effect I even tried to reason with him as your wife. He wouldn't listen. They are determined to hold you to your outdated contract."
Emma watched her move closer, dread pooling in her stomach as Regina continued.
"I know I shouldn't have gone off like I did on Twitter. And I know that it will only make matters worse for you and I'm truly sorry about that Emma but I couldn't stay quiet about it," sincerity flooded her every word and Emma believed her. Believed that she had tried and was frustrated in a way that only a wife could be and she acted on that frustration. Plain and simple. "It isn't okay to put you or countless other women under so much scrutiny that it has you physically harming yourselves to live up to the image they want. I'm tired of letting egotistical old men dictate what we do or how we look on screen. I refuse to watch you run yourself into the ground to appease the likes of Albert Spencer and Carlisle Gold! It's callous and inhumane and I can't stay silent about it, I won't."
Regina's hands carefully slid up Emma's forearms, traveling their length until she was able to curl her fingers between Emma's and gently disentangle them from her hair, pausing their descent so that she could cup both of their hands against pale cheeks. "You mean too much to me to allow someone to belittle you over something so asinine as weight and if that means you lose this particular job then so be it because how worth it is it to remain in a position that demeans you when there are so many up and coming women production teams who understand the struggle and are diligently working to change everything we know about the industry."
It wasn't the first time that Emma had heard Regina passionately speak about something, not by a long shot, but it still floored her when it was directed at her and not in the 'the toilet paper doesn't go that way' sort of capacity. Emotion tightened her throat and by extension her fingers tightened against her wife's.
"I'm scared," she rasped thickly, simply, even though it wasn't anywhere near simple and Regina knew that. She knew of her fears of failure and how it terrified her to think that she would lose everything and be forced to go back to Hunts Point and go back to being the lost girl alone on the streets with nothing to live for.
Not missing a beat Regina leaned in, pressing her forehead against Emma's as tears fell against their clasped hands, this time hormones having nothing to do with response. "I won't ever let you fall Emma Swan-Mills. I will be here, with you, no matter what you do be that acting or not. You are wanted right here and that won't ever change. Not even with your terrible coffee making skills," she added with a lilt of teasing to her tone despite the accuracy of her last statement.
The light jab had the desired effect, causing Emma to chuckle a watery laugh. "You sure about that?"
"We'll buy a Keurig," Regina tried to joke, her own resolve wavering at the sound of Emma's tears. "I love you, you sweet, incredible idiot. Your worth isn't measured by this. Any of it. Not to me. Please try to remember that."
Warmth spread through Emma's chest and she nodded, dropping their hands in favor of slipping her arms around her wife and pulling her in. She needed Regina closer more than she needed to breathe and she was only satisfied when there wasn't an inch of space between their bodies. Turning her head, Emma pressed a kiss to the patch of skin that lead up to Regina's ear and breathed, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I freaked out. I'm sorry."
"Don't," Regina husked, tears of her own threatening to over take her.
"Oh Jesus Christ, I can't leave you idiots alone for two minutes! No scarring my godson with your futile attempts to give him a sibling, please," Marian cried from the doorway in mock outrage, a pizza box, two wine glasses and a bottle of pilfered white under her arm.
Emma couldn't help but laugh at the groan that left her wife. "Along with that Keurig we're getting can we also get her a collar with a bell?"
"Absolutely," Regina enthused, pulling away from Emma enough to press a pointed kiss to her lips, leveling her with a look that made it clear she meant what she'd said before they were interrupted. Emma nodded her head sheepishly and loosened her hold around her waist, releasing Regina to turn around to face Marian expectantly. "Did you hear everything you wanted? Was that to your satisfaction?"
Marian shrugged and made her way into the living room swaying her hips dramatically. "Eh, I'd give you a 7.5 for the dismount, but the finish was a solid 9. You're so loving. It's disturbing in that adorable 'I wish your papi could see it' kind of way because he'd have been all over that with pride. His little reinita finally following her heart," she practically sang while rolling her eyes good naturedly, a loving grin flashing brightly as she set down the pizza box and wine glasses on the coffee table. "But let's be real, I didn't drive all the way to Ktown to get peaches her favorite pizza for this little 'make Emma feel better' movie night you invited me to only to have us not eat this artery clogging masterpiece. So for the sake of our family and friendship, can we please eat now? I'm starving."
"I don't know why I still speak to you." Regina pinched the bridge of her nose while Emma laughed, her hand finding the small of Regina's back to guide her over to the couch.
"Family is forever bitch," Marian grinned, holding out a freshly filled glass of wine to her bestie. "Sucks when your cousin becomes your best friend huh?"
Emma flopped down on the couch, ready to forget the stress of why they're having a movie night in favor of what she can only guess is a calabrese pizza from her favorite little hole in the wall in Korea Town. "I wouldn't know, that's all you babe," she joked with a pat to Regina's backside.
Marian scoffed and swatted at the blonde. "Excuse me, by marriage I'm also your cousin so ouch. I'll remember that when your depressed self wants pizza."
"Enough children," Regina chuckled and took her seat beside Emma, curling into her side with a sip of her wine. "Just turn on the television Marian."
"Just turn on the television Marian," the feisty woman snarked back but dutifully grabbed the remote to switch the tv on, maneuvering to the remote with the ease of someone who's had many a movie night in the Swan Mills home. "Do we really have to watch this though? I mean, I know this is an all peaches night but… Really," Marian whined with a look over her shoulder at Regina.
"What are we watching?" Emma pipped up excitedly, reaching forward, careful not to jostle Regina much in her pursuit of a slice of the best pizza in the world.
Regina ignored Emma's expectant look. "Put the movie on Marian," she ordered darkly, a smirk curling her lips against the rim of her wine glass. Sure this was all for Emma but it didn't hurt that it would slightly annoy her mouthy cousin some.
The screen filled with the image of Optimus Prime as Marian regretfully followed through with the order she was given, grumbling about how stupid the movie was and by extension how dumb Emma was for liking it so much.
Emma, mid bite of pie, gasped and choked, causing Regina to gently pat her back when she leaned forward in her glee. "SERIOUSLY!?"
"She says with such surprise," Regina teased, sneaking a bite of Emma's pizza. "We wanted to help you feel better nena."
Marian flopped down on the other side of Regina, taking pleasure in the look it earned her for joggling the couple. "Correction, I wanted to make you feel better by offering to take you to egg certain idiots houses but your wife said that you'd enjoy this more but I'm still not entirely sold on that so the offer is there should you change your mind."
A genuine laugh fell from Emma's lips and she nodded at Marian, "I'll keep that in mind thanks. But honestly? This is pretty great too. She never lets me watch this," she teased, nudging Regina affectionately, happy to feel her settle back into her side. Holding her pizza out to her wife, Emma smiled meaningfully. "Thank you."
"Well I'm letting you watch it now," Regina reasoned and took another bite of the offered pizza with a raised eyebrow. "Now hush," she mumbled around her bite, "And eat your food while it's still warm and Henry is still quiet."
"Yes ma'am," Emma grinned, basking in the moment with her family- her family. The people who loved her enough to come together to make her feel better after a hard day. It made her cheeks warm and if she snuggled in closer to Regina in her overwhelmed feeling of love she had for the women in the room the brunette never let on, at least not with her words.
Pressing a kiss against her wife's temple, Regina settled in to watch the nauseating movie Emma adored.
Two slices of pizza and one feeding of a tiny dictator in Regina's phone broke the comfortable silence that had settled around them.
"I'm a bitch! I'm a mother," it sang and Regina groaned. There was only one person she'd assigned that particular tone to and if her mother knew that's what happened every time she called she'd definitely get an earful. She rolled her eyes and pushed up from her comfortable place leaned against her wife, her hand brushing a lingering graze against Emma's cheek lovingly. "I'll make it quick, don't pause it on my account."
"And let you miss out on this stellar movie," Marian sassed around a bite of pizza.
Regina shot a pointed glare at Marian and answered her cell, "Mande?"
Even from her distance Emma could hear Cora's quick paced reprimand, though what she was upset about Emma wasn't sure. It could be the way Regina answered the phone, the tweet war she'd gotten into or because the santa ana's were making a mess of her lawn again. But when Regina's eyes narrowed and her stony expression returned, Emma guessed it was the tweets.
"Aye! No voy a disculparme!" Holding up a hand, Regina excused herself from the living room, quick paced spanish taking over in her rising anger.
Definitely the tweets.
Poking at her pizza half heartedly, Emma tried to focus on the movie but mostly her ears were trained on the faint voice of her wife that she could make out when her temper flared. There were long pauses and she was sure she'd heard more than a few pinches and cabrons thrown about but if they were directed at her bosses or mother in law she really couldn't be sure.
"Don't look so worried peaches," Marian said, drawing her attention back from the doorway. "She can handle Cora. Now eat your damn pizza and watch the stupid movie no one is enjoying but you."
Emma didn't feel any better but she made an effort to play it off, faking affronted. "Transformers isn't stupid. It's a revolutionary cinematic experience for the masses!"
Marian rolled her eyes and had Henry not been so close she'd have chucked a throw pillow at her. "Si estas bien pendeja," she muttered, rolling her eyes for the millionth time that night.
"Hey! I know what that means," Emma said indignantly, the grin in her tone making her sound even less upset about being called a fucking idiot than she was. "Stop swearing around the baby."
"Shut up, you're like twelve," Marian snapped back, laughing.
And Emma just laughed because what could she say to that?
The conversation with Cora hadn't actually been quick like Regina had promised. It extended long after Marian called it a night and Emma had retreated upstairs with Henry for a feed and some sleep. And for as angry as she was over having missed the movie night she'd put together for Emma the call with her mother had actually been… good.
After over sixty six years of being either in front of the screen, behind the camera, or in the writer's chair, Cora Mills had been there for it all. She'd seen the darker sides of Hollywood as a young starlet, when tears and accusations were faced with threats of slander between producers. She'd learned to navigate the game of quid pro quo, where the whispers of Tippi Hedren and Maureen O'Hara buzzed in her ears telling her to not let them get her down, and when she'd become pregnant with her eldest she'd faced much of the same ridicule as her daughter in law, if not more so.
It had hardened Cora. Regina had always wondered why her Mother was so cold, so calculating, and when she had expressed interest in acting as a young girl she'd watched the wary acceptance that had fallen over her Mother. That was when Cora had shifted her focus. Steadily edging herself into a position behind the camera rather than in front of it. Back then it felt like a grab for power. Another way to keep her under the ever watchful eye of Cora.
But now, now Regina understood. It wasn't about control at all. It was about safety. About keeping her out of the reach of men like Weinstein and Spacey and the numerous others who abused their positions of power. It was to ensure that Regina never knew what it felt like to be cornered in a hotel suite, grabbed while being rigged up, or worse. Like the things Cora'd had to endure over the years.
Cora was keeping her safe by becoming a silent support who used her position of power to help not only herself but many women around her. Snatching them away from the seedy underbelly that Hollywood didn't talk about and through hard work and tough love she cultivated them into talented actresses, writers, and producers until she'd become a media mogul in her own right with The Miller's Daughter production company.
The more her Mother shared the more Regina's youth made sense. The way certain roles would be deemed below her after certain actors or directors involvements were announced. How at smarmy galas she and Zelena were never to leave Cora's side, and how when Regina had shifted her focus from technical acting to film her sophomore year at CalArts Cora hadn't batted an eyelash, only continued to push her to be the best she could be.
It hurt Regina to think of her mother being apart of the me too movement and she hated that this was what molded her Mother into the hard won woman she was. The kind of woman that ruled with an iron fist.
"You'll come to the office tomorrow, bring Emma. I'd like to discuss this further," Cora had commanded and Regina had agreed immediately, ready to comply to anything Cora wanted after the tale she'd spun after initially snapping at Regina for engaging in such lowered form of conduct on a public forum.
The conversation had left Regina awake for most of the night thinking and rethinking everything she'd thought she'd known about her life, about her Mother, about Emma. What was there to discuss further? Emma was under contract. Even Regina knew that meant there wasn't much wiggle room there.
Her stomach gnawed at itself, twisting and turning into knots wondering how much damage she'd caused to Emma's position at work because of a stupid heat of the moment outburst.
The numbers on the clock climbed higher and more than once she pulled herself from bed to walk laps around the nursery, a grumpy Henry grumbling against her shoulder while Emma slept. The senseless pacing being penance for her behavior or maybe it was just guilt. Either way she did her laps and waited, watching the sky shift from black to grey to the soft blue of a new day.
She was still sitting in the nursery, a sleeping Henry contently snuggled under her chin when Emma's voice brought her out of her sightless staring at the sunrise.
"Spencer called, he said that the team doesn't want me to come in today or tomorrow. They have things they need to discuss."
Regina sighed. She'd been afraid of that. "Emma..."
"Don't."
"But Emma," she tried anyway. "I truly am sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen," Regina whispered into the quiet of the room, glad when Emma came into her line of sight and she finally looked less haggard. The dark circles under her eyes lighter than the day before.
She watched her grab one of the stuffed toys from the changing table and hug it to her chest, her face lacking the abject worry from last night. "Don't apologize Regina, I'm not upset. Well, not at you anyway."
"It still doesn't make me feel any less guilty," Regina confessed, her dark eyes tracing the triangles on the rug below her bare feet until they looked more like trees than triangles.
Emma shifted, not sure what to say. She was scared to be fired, it was true, but she also didn't find it fair to be ostracized the way she had been since she'd told the showrunners that she was expecting.
But instead of saying any of that she shrugged, snuggling her nose into the plush smiling cloud, "At least this means I don't have to ditch out of work on my lunch to go see Ursula for my six week check up tomorrow."
"Small positives I suppose," Regina agreed, distracted.
"Hey," Emma said, pushing away from the changing table so that she could move closer to the rocking chair. Normally she'd squat down to be eye level with her wife but given how messed up things down there had gotten not that long ago during the birth of the tiny boy nestled against Regina's chest she instead settled for nudging their toes together, wiggling her own bare tootsies against Regina's fiery red polished ones playfully. "I swear, I'm not mad. I love that you fought for me. I really do. And I don't care what happens."
That made Regina look up from counting triangle-trees, a eyebrow raised disbelievingly. "Oh really?"
A smile quirked Emma's lips into a lopsided grin. "Okay, maybe I mind but not the way that you're thinking. Don't get me wrong I love my character. I enjoy most of the cast and the crew but honestly if I could just move on I would be okay too. I'm just worried about the being fired part and that has more to do with me than what you did. It is my contract I've been in violation of for almost a year. You're just a crazy lady with a smartphone. This one is on me not you babe."
Regina scoffed, too loudly, and for a second everyone but Henry froze.
Viridian met mahogany in silent amusement. This was their life. Constantly worried about waking a baby. When it was clear he wouldn't be nodding back off, Regina handed him up to Emma, relinquishing her seat in favor of stretching her legs by the window.
"My Mother wants to see us later," she stated, no frills to the bomb she dropped. She didn't even look back at her wife until Henry's hiccuped cry bounced off the cheerily painted walls.
Emma sat stalk still, her hand stopped mid unclasping of her nursing bra. "Uh, what? Why does she want to see us? It's not like I'm on her roster," she protested weakly, hurrying to feed their angry fascist dictator.
Shrugging, Regina moved back to where Emma and Henry sat, the sounds of his grunted gulps too strong to keep her away for long. She sank down to the floor, her hand finding his little covered foot easily against Emma's arm. "Honestly I'm not sure but I think it wouldn't hurt to see what she says. Maybe she'll know how to get you released from your contract, she does know a lot of important people."
"She is an important person Regina," Emma amended with a pointed look that hinted at her apprehension. "What if she's just calling us in to tell you to ditch me before the fire gets too hot?"
Another scoff ripped from Regina's throat and if she weren't rubbing her thumb along the length of Henry's foot she'd have slapped the expanse of pale thigh on display beside her. "You're an idiot."
"That's not reassuring at all babe."
Regina rolled her eyes and stood back up, heading for the door. "We're leaving at nine," she called over her shoulder, smirking a little at the whine that sounded behind her.
Showered, dressed and on time for the first time since becoming a threesome, they sat. Uncomfortable and huddled together in a small group in the immaculate lobby of TMD's main office, waiting under the stern eye of Cora's secretary Drizella.
Emma was poised to fiddle with Henry's stroller cover for the seventh time in the last two minutes but Regina's hand shot out to stop her from successfully moving the blanket back again, the nervousness of her wife finally getting to her. "You need to relax. He's fine."
From behind the desk a snicker sounded.
Emma glared at the younger woman, lowering her voice so only Regina could hear her in the otherwise quiet room. "Sorry, she's making me antsy. Why does she keep watching us like that? Does she expect us to pick up the ficus and make a run for it or something? Jesus."
Regina snorted, casting a glance first at Drizella then at one of the potted plants that dotted the tastefully bare room. "Well, it is a nice bush."
"Oh, my god. You did not just say that," Emma laughed, a bit of her nervousness melting away in light of her thirteen year old humor.
Lifting a perfectly plucked brow, Regina smirked, "Say what? Bush? Do you find that funny Ms. Swan? Talking about the perfectly trimmed bush at the apex of that corner?" Another snicker from Emma made her chuckle, a smile pulling at her crimson coated lips. "Marian's right. You are twelve."
Emma laughed again, her hand coming up to cover her mouth for fear of startling Henry or drawing more of the snotty brunette's attention, but the sound of the door behind the reception desk opening stopped her giggles at once.
"That will be quite enough girls." Cora's dark eyes darted between her daughter and daughter in law, an air of resigned acceptance displayed plainly on her pinched lips. "Please collect yourselves and when you're ready to act like the adults you are come inside."
Regina bit her lip to keep herself from laughing when Emma's hand came down against her thigh in a gentle but firm backhanded slap. "After six years you'd think she'd stop hating me!" She hissed between her teeth, her sea green eyes full of apprehension.
Standing from her chair, Regina waited for Emma to follow suit before she reached up, catching her by the chin and pulling down so she could look her in the eye. "Breathe nena, it's going to be alright. She wants to help. I promise. Don't take her bark for her bite."
"Can I take your bite instead?" Emma attempted to joke but it came out more pained than playful.
Regina chuckled and pushed her away, her eyes rolling lightly. "Go, you idiot," she said and moved behind the stroller, taking the lead into her mother's office. "Mother," she greeted, pushing Henry up beside the desk that Cora stood behind. "You're looking well."
"As are you darling, albeit a little worn down but that is to be expected," Cora indulged, moving from around her desk to pull back the blanket that covered Henry's car seat. "Are you trying to give the boy heat stroke Regina? He'll swelter to death under all of that nonsense."
Emma's eyes widened and shot to Regina, silently asking if that was true. Regina subtly shook her head and reached for her hand, squeezing it reassuringly as she went on nonplussed. "Hardly Mother. There were photographers following us. You know how much I loathe the idea of them snapping pictures of him like he's nothing more than tabloid fodder."
"Mmm, I'll have Drizella send for Mr. Banner. He has such a way of getting those swine to leave the premises with the slightest flare of his anger. It's truly a talent. Much better than those useless imbeciles at the LAPD."
Without waiting for permission, Cora effortlessly unclipped her grandson from his carseat and lifted him into her arms, and for a moment the hard exterior she was known for fell. The hardness melted from around her lips and her moca eyes softened just a bit. She whispered something to him, something warm and lilting that Emma couldn't understand, something that didn't sound like the heated anger she usually spewed when using her native tongue she pretended not to know.
"Thank you Mother," Regina nodded and nudged her wife to take a seat in one of the two lowly chairs in front of the large imposing desk that kept them and her Mother apart.
"Of course dear. Now," Cora said, the shift from maternal to business was obvious. Back was the calculating look as she let her eyes drift over Emma, and when she sat down in the high backed chair behind her desk she looked just as intimidating to the blonde as she did when she wasn't cradling her little boy. "I hear you've been out of compliance with your contract," she started, flipping one handedly through the papers in front of her. "I took the liberty of contacting your agent, she faxed me a copy of your contract to look through for myself. Did you not think to have someone negotiate the terms of your employment before you agreed to take the role?"
Emma swallowed nervously. "Uh, I did. Well, I thought I did. When I got this job I was still with Aurora Desrosiers' agency. She kind of slept on the job more than agenting… and Spencer said it was a standard contract they were giving everyone on the project. I didn't really think the show would go on for as long as it has or that in a few years a weight fluctuation clause would be something to be concerned about, ya know?"
"Which is precisely why you get yourself a credible agent to begin with Ms. Swan."
It wasn't said with derision. Not like when Gold or Spencer purposely refused to acknowledge that she was more than just herself. That she was a team, a promised commitment to stick it out through good times and bad and every freaking episode of Pretty Little Liars Regina forced her to watch.
No, this Ms. Swan was like Regina when she was mad about things that mattered.
Cora went on, her lips pinched in exasperation. "They're meant to think of these things for you. Have you listened to nothing I have told the both of you over the years? Good representation matters. How can I be more clear on that point?"
"I know. I'm sorry. That's why I changed agencies," Emma swore, hoping the whine didn't sound as fervent to Cora as it did to her own ears. She'd left Aurora not long after she'd landed her role on Boston Memorial and found a home with No Capes Incorporated. Sure Edna was a bit eccentric, and at times could be a bit abusive with a rolled up newspaper, but she knew her stuff and had been good for Emma since signing. "I didn't know to second guess the person who was suppose to be handling my contracts. I do now. I know to sit down with Regina and go over it all. I was just stupid and excited because this was a lead and I'd never been a lead in anything. I wasn't thinking."
"Clearly," was all she got back in response.
Regina sighed and tapped her blunt nails against the arm of her chair. "Be reasonable Mother. It doesn't matter what made her sign then, what matters is how to get her out of it now without discrediting her as an actress or bankrupting us for millions."
The room went silent apart from Henry's breathy grumbles.
That was the rub. How much would this end up costing them should the studio side with the showrunners and agree that the breach of her contract was worth pursuing legally? In previous decades actors and actresses alike had been taken for millions strictly on hearsay of agreement to work. Here Emma was with a contract with her signature agreeing to work within these terms and conditions. That was basically a nail in her coffin in her mind.
"Yes, well, we aren't sure that that is the case just yet. I assume you've been asked to not return to set?" Cora stated more than asked, her speculative gaze again returning to Emma.
Emma nodded and slumped in her seat. "Yeah for the next two days. Albert said they needed to discuss things."
"Mmm," Cora breathed, deep in thought. "With the stunt you pulled disappearing from set yesterday I'm surprised it wasn't for longer or that they didn't just fire you on the spot." Ignoring Emma's wince, she stood up and carefully laid Henry back into his carseat, ignoring his squawk of complain. "You are not to do that again, is that clear? I will take your contract to my lawyer and let her have a look at it and discuss what legal options we have."
Regina nodded and stood, taking the lead for her wife who again wore a mask of discouragement, like she'd already weighed the odds and decided she'd lost before they'd even started. "Thank you Mother."
"Anything for you darling. Now go, I have a meeting to attend and I think my grandson is ready to return home. I'll be in touch."
It was a dismissal as subtle as a gun but neither woman minded as they headed out of the room with a fussy Henry wailing his protests to being back in his carseat from inside the stroller.
Once they were outside, away from Cora and the ever watchful stare of Drizella and everyone else who smiled false smiles and waved them off, Regina paused beside her car. "Hey, look at me."
"Don't Regina. I don't want a pep talk," Emma sighed and clicked Henry's car seat into place after buckling him into his seat, vainly trying to get him to take a pacifier that only seemed to further piss the beet red boy off more.
At first Regina wanted to snap at her, to throw back at Emma that she was only trying to be supportive and help her, but after eight years of friendship she'd grown use to this pattern Emma fell into. The quiet resignation when things got too hard, too overwhelming. The shutdown she'd fall into, choosing to be alone and sulk rather than hash it all out.
She needed time to sift through the emotions and thoughts that plagued her until she was ready to come and talk about it rationally, and while that wasn't how Regina handled things she did at least respect her wife to let her deal with her inner turmoil in the way she saw fit.
Sighing, Regina held out her hand expectantly, wiping her face clean of upset when Emma finally looked back at her from half way inside the car. "I was only going to say I'm driving."
Emma straightened up, giving up on trying to comfort Henry for the time being with a look that clearly didn't believe the woman in front of her. "Liar," she said but dug the keys from her pocket regardless and handed them over. "I just want to go home."
The rest of the day was quiet.
They were always close in vicinity, sharing a couch, sitting at the dinner table, laying in bed, but never once was the tension in the room addressed. By the next morning Regina was ready to explode. She could be understanding for only so long.
To her this was simple. This wasn't Emma's fault and clearly she shouldn't beat herself up like it was, but the blonde had other ideas on that front and it was maddening. How could Emma not see that it didn't matter to her if this ended with a lawsuit they would probably lose? They were right. This whole situation was wrong and stupid and no courtroom would change that in her mind, money be damned.
She continued to stew in her surmounting frustration all through her shower later that morning after a silent cup of coffee with her wife, her annoyance growing with each passing second.
Regina was so lost in her spiral of anger that mostly centered around envisioning Albert Spencer and Carlisle Gold tied to a burning stake that she didn't hear or see her wife walk by the frosted glass of their shower until the door clicked open and in slipped the woman she would gladly commit murder for.
"Um, I hope this is alright," Emma began quietly, the worn down look having returned to her eyes over the course of the night. "I can get out if you want. I just- I wanted to apologize for yesterday," she trailed off and looked at the water that swirled around their feet.
Her arms were folded across her chest and her shoulders curled protectively so that she could also hide part of her stomach that still held softness and the faint pocking of stretch marks that hadn't quite acclimated to not having a fiercely active baby boy pressed against them, stretching the milky white fissures to near bursting. She seemed smaller than normal, hiding the 'flaws' she'd had thrown back in her face.
It made Regina's anger rebound and fade all at once. She shook her head and reached out for Emma, waiting until her wife looked up long enough to see that she was wanted. "There's nothing to apologize for Emma. Not from you. Come here nena."
"I know you think that," Emma tried but was silenced by a kiss, slow and sure and full of everything that made her heart beat wildly against her chest when it was done. She didn't understand how Regina could just accept it all like that. Like it was nothing. Easy. "You're kind of amazing, did you know that Mills?"
Regina chuckled and took comfort in the easy slip of their wet bodies against one another. "You say that with such surprise still. I'd have thought you'd have learned that years ago."
A low rumble of a laugh rippled through Emma's chest. "You know what I mean. Of course I've always known you're amazing- well, eventually," she teased between a pointedly placed kiss that made Regina's breath hitch. Emma continued to suck and nip at the warm skin that thrummed under her lips, listening to each gasp and heavy exhale like it was all she needed to live through another minute of this life.
"Are… Are you trying to distract me?"
Emma snickered, licking the path up Regina's neck and ending it with a kiss just below her jaw. "No," she breathed and looked into the lust blown eyes she never grew tired of staring into. "How are you so okay with this? They could take us for millions. Millions we don't have."
Shaking her head, Regina leaned forward to press her forehead against Emma's, her fingers stroking along the rounded curves of her hips with nothing short of reverence. "Then they do. I don't care because this, right here," she breathed, punctuating her words with a gentle squeeze to Emma's flesh, "Is all I need. The money, the house, the cars… They mean nothing. All I want is you Emma. Can't you see that?"
The burn of tears started at the backs of Emma's eyes but she pushed it away. She wouldn't waste a moment crying, not here, not now. Not when her hands could trail the length of Regina's back, cupping her smooth ass and pull her closer until everything was a mess of lips and tongue and cold shower tiles pressed against overheated skin.
Every gasp and moan shot directly to Emma's center but it felt so different, so invasive she pushed it away too, ignoring the feeling in favor of drawing this out for Regina. Blindly reaching for the water, she shut it off and reluctantly pulled back. "We don't have a lot of time, come on," she husked, finding the hand Regina held against the small of her back.
"Are you sure? I mean I don't want to stop, not at all, but I don't want to make you do something you're not ready for Emma. Ursula should look at you before we-" Regina couldn't think. Not when Emma pulled her by the hand out of the shower and through the bathroom into their bedroom. Not when her still soaked body was pushed back into the bed and the soft silky bedding clung to her skin in a way that made her body buzz all the more. "Ne-"
"Shhhhh," Emma whispered, pressing a kiss against her lips to silence her. "I may not be ready yet but that doesn't mean I'm not ready for you," she explained, trailing lingering kisses along soft olive skin, paying homage to the delicate slopes of Regina's collarbones with the tip of her tongue. "I've missed this," she confessed, her hand finding its way to cup a breast while her tongue trailed between them, circling up to suck the hardened nub she found there between her lips, greedily pulling the dusky mound in further.
Regina's coherent thoughts vanished, leaving behind a body the bowed and arched into each touch, begging for more, while sounds she hadn't made in weeks poured from her parted lips.
"Aaaaah," Regina moaned, high and breathy and something that sounded far too much like something from a porno to be coming from her but she didn't care. She didn't care all all. Her body pushed into her wife's with need and want and love and god damn it if this feeling wouldn't burn her alive if Emma didn't do something about it soon.
The pulse between her thighs raced and demanded attention from the knee that had slowly found its way up against her center. "Emmaaa-"
It was a plea.
It was a command.
It made Emma laugh against the soft flesh of the breast she held captive between her teeth, biting down enough to leave a mark. "No patience," she teased but complied, moving down the length of Regina's body with kiss after promising kiss until her nose brushed reverently against the dip of her hip.
"It's been awhile, I can't hold it back," Regina breathlessly whined, her legs spreading wide and welcomingly with the barest of touches from Emma's confident hands. Her eyes shut and her fists clenched against the comforter. She could feel the warmth of Emma's breath against her and it made the anticipation too much.
This was heaven and hell rolled into one and all Regina wanted was friction because it had been too long and she didn't want to wait anymore. And then she didn't have to. The warmth of Emma's tongue stroked the length of her slit and her body jerked up to vainly try and keep that sensation there. No more teasing. Just release.
Emma's chuckle vibrated through Regina's core and if it weren't for Emma's arms that wound around her thighs to keep her in place she'd have shameless rubbed her soaked, throbbing center against Emma's face to get the point across.
Taking the hint, Emma traced the tip of her tongue along the outside of Regina's entrance once, then twice, before pushing in as far as she could go, firming her tongue up as she lapped and sucked and swiped. The breathless moans above her encouraged her to push harder, deeper.
Emma shifted her weight, moving to free one arm from its iron hold on Regina's thigh and when she slowly curled her tongue up to her pulsating clit she thrust two fingers into Regina's heat that earned her an impassioned cry from above.
"Nnuuugghhh, m-more," Regina begged, barely able to keep up with breathing and speaking and holding on.
Two fingers became three, stretching and scissoring against the warm walls that held her snugly inside her wife. Emma sucked at Regina's clit, swirling her tongue against it in time with her thrusts. Emma wanted to prolong things, to pull away and make her wife plead for release again but they were on limited time, and as much as she hated to rush this she did. She pushed harder, sinking her fingers in deep and twisting with each retraction.
Her appetite was ferocious as she sucked and lapped at Regina's clit relentlessly, she could feel that her wife was close and when she curled her fingers, brushing pointedly against ribbed flesh, she felt her clench, a soft release of dampness seeping warm against her palm a second before Regina arched away from the bed, her face contorted in silent pleasure that stole her breath away.
Emma coaxed her through her orgasm, stroking and licking up the juices that spilled from around her fingers until Regina choked, swatting at her head in a silent signal to stop.
"E-enough, please," Regina panted. "Come here," she begged in the softest of rasps, holding out an arm to show Emma just where she wanted her, her breath still ragged and heavy.
"Yes ma'am," Emma snickered, pressing one last kiss against Regina's sensitive folds before ascended her wife's body with just as much reverence as she'd put in on her way down. She loved the salty sheen that prickled the olive skin beneath her lips. It was always such a thrill to know that she'd done that. She'd made her feel that undone.
Regina sighed, trying to catch her breath and curled against Emma, stealing a kiss that no longer held the heat they'd shared when they entered the bedroom. "That was…"
"Long overdue," Emma cut her off around another promising kiss. "It won't be so long between next time, promise." Her fingers skimmed along the side of Regina's breast absently, watching the rush of what they'd done further relax the woman she laid against. "If we didn't need to leave soon I'd be all about round two."
A hearty laugh spilled from Regina and she couldn't hold back the slew of kisses she pressed against Emma's lips and cheeks and nose. "You're ridiculous. One is perfectly enough for now." And as reluctant as she was to end the moment she sighed and sat up, rubbing her hand along Emma's bare stomach tenderly. "We should shower. Really shower this time. We need to get you to your appointment Mrs."
Emma mock saluted much to Regina's enjoyment. "Yes ma'am. No touching. Just showering. Promise."
Only she didn't keep her promise.
At all.
They were late. Way late. The 'why did I let you corner me' kind of late that made Regina flush with embarrassment as she walked into the Queens of Midwifery suite half an hour into their appointment time.
"Stop grinning like that," she barked at Emma under her breath, walking beside her through the scentsy smelling hall to the last room on the left where their midwife worked.
Emma laughed. Hard. The shit eating grin she wore only grew in size as she strolled cockily into Ursula's office. The dimly lit room looked more like an invitingly homey living room than a place where tiny humans came into being, though a small medical bed shoved into the far corner as an afterthought did suggest this was a serious practice at the very least.
"Well if it isn't my favorite two new mommies! I was starting to think you stood me up," Ursula teased and stood to pull each of them into a tight hug.
"Yeah, Regina was having a hard time getting out of the bathroom," Emma grinned, biting her lip to keep back another laugh at the wide eyed look of mortified death her wife shot in her direction. "Sorry for taking so long," she added and sat Henry's carseat on the floor beside the couch before taking a seat herself.
She was totally going to hear about that comment in the car but the flush of pink that saturated Regina's cheeks was too beautiful to feel much regret about it.
"No worries, no worries. I know how it is. It's a whole lifestyle change trying to take care of two kids instead of one," Ursula smirked and watched Emma's face register what she'd said. "It can be tricky getting them both ready and out the door on time."
Regina smirked and took a seat beside her wife primly, looking pleased to have the midwife on her side. "You have no idea."
Emma scoffed but her stormy eyes twinkled with the amusement she felt. They'd needed this morning. She'd need it. She'd needed to remember what it felt like to be grounded and secure in her skin. Every touch and kiss, stroke and caress. It healed those wounds that Gold had poured salt into, maybe not entirely but enough that Emma could remember to breathe and smile and mean it.
She leaned over and pressed a kiss against Regina's cheek and shrugged, returning her attention to the midwife who looked between the two with a raised brow and a smirk of her own on her lips. "That's fine, I'll take the blame this time."
"Mmmhmm," was the all knowing response Ursula directed at them as she set about taking Henry out of his carseat. "This is where I tell you that I needed to clear you for that hanky panky you got yourself this morning blondie but I'll let you slide on account of that happy honeymoon glow you got going on." Cradling Henry against her legs, she went about checking him over. "Any discomfort down there? Tightness? Dryness? I'm going to assume that the bleeding has stopped, if not y'all nasty."
Mouth popped in a perfect circle of shock, Emma spluttered. "Hey! I did not get any this morning. I was totally on team give!"
"Emma!"
Emma ignored Regina's moderate outrage that would definitely be added to the car talk she was in for. "I just… It feels too intrusive to think about right now. I don't really want anything near my bits for a while. Is that… Normal?"
Ursula, entirely fine with discussing this, also ignored Regina's reddening face and looked up at Emma. "It is perfectly normal. You just squeezed a watermelon through a rubber band baby, you take your time getting back into the swing of things. But other than that no issues? No perineal pain or anything? Breastfeeding is going alright? Have your nips started to crack yet because that is terrible and crazy painful. I have some miracle salve to send you home with if you're having problems with that."
"Okay, good, that's good," Emma sighed, though she hadn't been too worried about her lack of sex drive but it was always nice to know that things were normal. "Otherwise no real pain down there anymore but yes! This whole breastfeeding thing kind of really sucks but I'm trying to stick it out."
Handing Henry over to Regina, Ursula nodded. "If you stop don't beat yourself up about it. Pumping or even just plain old formula is perfectly fine. Don't listen to google mom's. They're all idiots," she intoned with a firm nod of surety. "Alright, you good with me taking a peek down there to make sure everything's healed up okay? I can even get that pap smear you're due for out of the way if you want."
"Are you taking me to lunch after," Emma shot back habitually, always one to go for humor when uneasy. The idea of even Ursula looking around in there, even in a strictly clinical sense, made her insides clench uncomfortably.
Ursula cackled and nodded, moving to grab the things she needed to examine her patient. "I'm sure going to miss you two, damn. Please, promise me ya'll will come back for the next one."
"Yeah, yeah," Emma grumbled as she stood up and began unbuttoning her jeans, kicking them off unceremoniously and peeling her underwear down too. Everyone in that room had already seen her up close and naked, there was no point to modesty she figured though her body desperately wanted to shake with how exposed she felt.
She moved and awkwardly settled against the crinkly paper covered table across the room, eyeing the surrups like they were the real villains of the moment. "So, do I just…"
"Yep, put your feet up on those," Ursula nodded and handed over a thin purple dress shield that would only obscure Emma's view of what the midwife was doing down there.
Regina sat quietly watching Emma's discomfort grow, and when her wife finally settled on the exam table she got up herself, keeping Henry cradled in one arm while her other hand found Emma's and squeezed. "Should I be jealous nena?"
It was enough to make Emma snicker, but the way her expression faltered when the speculum was inserted made Regina want to push Ursula away and demand she stop the exam immediately.
"Hardly," Emma whispered meekly, swallowing hard as she tried to remain calm and not clench or shy away from the hand that gently poked and prodded like her body so badly demanded she do.
"Your bruising looks to be mostly healed and those few stitches look to be mostly dissolved. Little man did a number on you but everything looks pretty good down here. Now I'm just going to get a few swab samples and you'll be all done. This will feel weird but you know the drill."
Emma nodded but said little else through the duration of the exam and then through the remainder of the visit.
She made it all the way to the car before the tears finally showed themselves. "I don't even know why I'm crying," she groaned pathetically into her hands, torn between whimpering and laughing over of how utterly ridiculous she felt. Here she was, a twenty six year old mom, crying in the passenger seat of her wife's car because she'd just been felt up by a tiny scrubber brush to the vag. "It was just a pap smear!"
Regina leaned across the center console and held her tightly, pressing kiss after kiss against her fingers until they finally dropped and a shamefaced Emma looked at her with shiny red rimmed eyes. She smiled weakly, stroking blonde curls back from tear damped cheeks. "Why don't we go and get some ice cream. Celebrate the exam being over and done with. I think you've more than earned it my love."
"Yeah," Emma sniffled, rubbing her nose dramatically, still feeling absurd but less so with how calm Regina made her feel. "That sounds good."
The next day, Emma was back to pins and needles as she walked back on set after being away for the last two days. It felt like everyone was staring at her and if it weren't for Regina being on facetime with her to make her feel less alone she'd have turned around and walked straight back to the bug and gone home. Let them sue her.
"You're grinding your teeth nena."
Emma shot her phone a look, making a point to open her mouth to stick her tongue at the faces of her wife and son curled up in bed. "Happy?"
"Beyond measure," Regina's raspy voice purred. "Are you almost to the trailer?"
"Yeah, Mary Margaret said she'd meet me-"
"EMMA!"
"Before I got there," Emma groaned and turned to see her friend attempting to run towards her. It looked painful and Emma briefly wondered how pampered a life Mary Margaret must have lived if running was never something she'd needed to learn.
Out of breath and rosy cheeked, Mary Margaret stopped in front of her, holding onto Emma's arm as she panted. "I'm sorry! I meant to meet you in the parking lot but I got caught by the director. He wanted to go over placement." Catching sight of Regina on the phone, she brightened and waved. "Good morning Regina! And ooooh, Henry! He's just so," Mary trailed off with a wiggle of joy, unable to settle on the right word for how precious the little boy was all serene against his other mother's chest.
"On that note, I think you are in relatively capable hands. But if you need me I can be there. We're home all day," Regina promised, her soft smile saying all the comforting words she didn't dare voice in front of the likes of Mary Margaret Blanchard.
Emma nodded and glanced at her friend then back to her wife. "I'll text you in bit. Be good for Mommy little man. I love you. Both of you."
"Te quiero nena."
The screen went black and for a minute Emma wasn't sure she could move her legs to walk further onto set. She felt like patient zero.
"Hey," Mary Margaret said, nudging her arm gently, a look of sympathy in her evergreen eyes. "We'll do it together. Come on, they're expecting us in makeup."
Emma nodded again, feeling nauseous, but allowed Mary to guide her through the building to the makeup room. On the way Emma felt her nerves flare and she almost didn't make it to her chair. "So um… Have you… Heard anything?"
Sitting beside her friend, Mary Margaret shook her head, waiting for the artists to come over and get started on making them tv ready. "No, but I've given my father a few choice words. He doesn't agree with Albert and Carlisle, if that's worth anything, but he's outnumbered. He did tell me tell you to try and get through today as normally as possible and that he was sorry for all the upset."
She couldn't help but laugh humorlessly at the words of encouragement. "Right. Normal."
Emma closed her eyes, done with talking to the daughter of the man who was only 'sorry' for planning to fire her because she was human and had a baby and wanted to have a life outside of work. Keeping her eyes closed, she fished her earbuds from the front pocket of her jeans and blindly plugged them into the bottom of her phone.
Across town, Regina was just finishing changing Henry when her phone trilled with an incoming facetime from Emma. She suppressed a laugh, the 'missed us already' poised at the tip of her tongue. But when the screen came to life her view was of Emma from the nose down.
She could see the fresh tears that slipped down her cheeks and the earbuds that said she was trying to tune everyone out around her. Regina's heart broke. "Oh my love."
Regina watched someone who wasn't Emma wipe away the tears and slowly begin the process of making her look more like Claire Holt than Emma Swan Mills. Picking Henry up from the changing table, Regina returned to the rocking chair where she sat quietly crooning lullaby after lullaby, song after song, until the hitch in Emma's breathing stilled and their son's eyes grew heavy.
"Thank you," Emma's freshly glossed lips mouthed silently before the screen again went black and Regina was again wrapped in worry for the well being of her wife.
