All credit goes to Stephenie Meyer for creating the wonderful world of Twilight and all the characters in it. No copyright infringement intended.
Wolf Like Me
To say something wasn't right was an understatement. Something was… very, very wrong. This was unlike any other sickness I had experienced before, unlike even the worst of all viruses. I briefly remembered a time when I was nine- I had been sick for days, vomiting time and time again, worrying my father with a temperature of over one-hundred and two degrees. At the time it had seemed terrible, but right now I wished for that sickness times ten to ravage my body. Anything instead of what I was dealing with right now. Every pore- actually, every cell; every individual tiny microscopic cell of my body was aflame, and an image flashed before my eyes, one of me laying in a huge frying pan, my skin blistering and popping in response to the heat, with someone pouring bleach over my squirming, screaming frame. I would of laughed, if the hallucination wasn't completely parallel to the way I was feeling right now.
My mind then spun back to less than an hour ago, when I was driving the puker in the backseat home, with Bella beside me, my arm wrapped firmly around her. That loser could have up-chucked the equivalent to all the oceans combined and I wouldn't have truly noticed; I was far too busy watching Bella chew on her bottom lip, completely lost in some thought I'd never know. The longer I watched her the warmer I felt, but at the time I hadn't paid much attention to my rise in temperature, attributing it to my unrequited desires. That was, until-
"Whoa, Jake---you're burning up!" she'd exclaimed, pressing her tiny, cold fingers to my forehead.
Before that we'd exchanged some insignificant comments about a fever, which were lost on me due to ogling her beautiful face and hair, but that comment had jerked me successfully back to reality.
"I feel fine," I had shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Fit as a fiddle."
She wasn't buying it, and that was evident by the frown on her face.
"Your hands are like ice," I'd complained, without even meaning to. Normally I would have relished any touch from Bella, no matter how small, but right now this touch was nearly unbearable.
"Maybe it's me," she'd lamented, and I was happy to have her drop it. The more we spoke of it, the worse it seemed to have gotten.
For the rest of the ride I felt my condition deteriorating, try as I might to will it away so I could hang out with Bella longer. By the time we had dropped Mike and his Suburban off at his house, I was internally screaming at myself to get it together. Unfortunately, upon arriving back at the Swan residence, I realized that I was not going to win the battle against this unknown illness- my head was throbbing so hard I could barely see straight, and I could feel sweat beads running down the back of my neck.
"I would invite myself in, since we're early," I had managed, as I pulled my car up to her house. "But I think you might be right about the fever. I'm starting to feel a little… strange." That was an understatement, to say the very least.
She seemed concerned and wanted to drive me home, which at any other time would have elated me, but right then I desperately wanted to be home.
"No," I had said, turning the offer down. I remembered grimacing in response to the shooting pain in my forehead. "I don't feel sick yet. Just… wrong. If I have to, I'll pull over."
Suddenly I was jerked back into the present by a knock on my bedroom door.
Damn it. My father. I'd almost forgotten about him, even though he was one who'd brought on the worst of this. When I'd walked in the door earlier he had commented that I looked "weird", and that was it- I'd almost lost it. An irrational rage had nearly exploded out of me, and it took everything I had to keep the monster inside me contained and not rip his head from his body.
"Jacob… what's the matter? Did you and Bella get in a fight?" he asked, which for some reason further infuriated me, and my disposition somehow became even more uncomfortable.
At that moment I was acutely aware of three things; the distinct smell of my father all the way on the other side of the door (which puzzled me, because his was a scent I could typically only smell when we were in close proximity to one another, such as a hug), the sound of an animal howling painfully outside in the woods, and the fact that I was twitching and foaming at the mouth.
What the hell was happening to me? Was I dying? I felt a surge of panic tear through my chest. I didn't know if I should yell out for my dad to help me, nor was I sure if I even could. Besides, I had locked my bedroom door in a haste before collapsing to the floor, and I seriously doubted my wheelchair-bound father could break the door down.
Great. I was going to die here alone, convulsing and burning on my own bedroom floor.
Immediately I regretted even thinking about the burning, because as soon as I did the pain multiplied within me- almost like a reminder, if it were even possible for me to forget. My leg jerked out in response, kicking my nightstand and knocking a lamp to the wood floor. It shattered on impact, and I could hear my dad's voice immediately.
"Jacob! What are you doing in there?" He waited for a response. "Jacob, you had better answer me!"
I tried to form a response but instead of words, I heard an alien noise escape my mouth. Had I just… growled? I was shocked.
And then something happened, assuring me that I was in fact losing my mind- I heard a voice in my head that sounded a lot like Sam Uley's.
Jake! Jake! You're okay man, if you can hear me, try and calm down! I know you're freaking out, but I can help you. This is Sam Uley… Listen to me, Jared and I are going to come inside and get you. Try and relax, we're coming in now.
Oh no. Suddenly I knew that this had everything to do with the mystery of Sam and his gang. It was my turn now. He had come for me.
Through my terror I was vaguely aware of our phone ringing in the kitchen, followed by a pounding at the door. Somehow I shook even harder.
"BILLY! It's Sam and Jared!" I heard Sam's voice boom, no longer just in my head. "Let us in! It's time, we've got to get him out of the house!"
I don't know what shocked me more; the fact that it was "time," or that my father was in on the secret. I heard him wheel away from my door, ignoring the ringing phone.
"I'm coming!" he shouted back. "Get him out of here quick, I can't afford to replace any walls!"
What?! Had he really just said that? Was I going to explode? Because that's what it felt like! My insides were boiling uncontrollably.
The unanswered phone finally quit ringing, and I heard my father unlock and open the front door.
"He's in his room."
I thought briefly of jumping out my window and running for it, but when I tried to get up my arms and legs responded by locking up. Great, just great. I couldn't even fight back.
There was a loud pounding at my door, accompanied by the sound of someone trying to turn the knob. Thank god I had locked it.
"Jake, we have to come in and get you! If you can, unlock the door."
The only response I could manage was very similar to my growl from earlier.
"Dude, there's no time!" I heard Jared hiss. "Just break it in!"
Break my door in? Were they crazy? My dad would kill them!
Just then I heard the phone start ringing again.
"BOYS, just kick it in!" my father shouted. Well damn… Apparently I didn't know him as well as I thought.
Don't be stupid, I tried to reason with myself. I knew my dad wouldn't let anyone hurt me willingly. I also knew that if my dad thought I was in any real danger, he would of let me know weeks ago when I asked him about Sam. But why didn't he just tell me then? He obviously knew the secret.
Maybe it wasn't his secret to tell.
"Alright, Jacob, we're coming in!" Sam shouted, and with a loud cracking noise my bedroom door flew open. Light from the hallway shone into my eyes, and through my blurred vision I could see two silhouettes standing in the doorway. The sound of the phone ringing seemed deafening.
"Oh my god it's about to happen!"
"Jared be quiet, you know how scared he is right now," Sam scolded. "Now grab a leg and help me drag him out."
I saw them move closer before feeling their hands on my legs, but I was so covered in sweat that their grasps slipped.
"Gross, man."
"Just grab him by his shoes and pull."
I was too exhausted to try and fight the inevitable, so I allowed them to drag me out of my room, still twitching and shaking. Just then I heard my dad answer the phone.
"Hello?" he asked, his voice unsure. There was a pause.
"He's here." It had to be Bella; I'd promised to call her.
"He was-"
Just then we came through the living room and my head rolled over to look at my dad, my eyes searching his for reassurance.
"…too sick to call. He's not feeling well right now," he finished, his eyes growing very wide at the sight of me. I found no assurance there.
With that we were through the front door, my back scraping across the door jam and then the front stoop. It didn't feel good. Was my condition so urgent that they couldn't have at least carried me over the cement? I noticed that the outside air (which probably hovered somewhere around freezing) felt like a cool spring day. As they continued to drag me quickly through the wet grass I heard my father speak again.
"No, no. We're fine. Stay at your place," he said rudely, and I felt a surge of anger. He should know better than to speak to Bella like that.
"Bye, Bella," he said, equally as rude, and I heard the phone slam into the receiver abruptly. Did he really think he could talk to her like that? And then hang up on her too? It wasn't her fault this was happening!
This was sending me into a rage, though somewhere in the back of my head I knew it was irrational. But it didn't matter- my body started to shake violently, and in response they quit dragging me. Through my shaking vision I realized we were in my backyard.
"Jacob, listen to me," Sam asked authoritatively, and I was vaguely aware of him standing a few feet away. "Something's about to happen to you, and even though there's nothing we can do to stop it, I want you to know that you're going to be okay. It's happened to all of us, so just try and stay calm…"
But I was no longer registering his voice. All that I could hear was my dad's words to Bella echoing over and over in my head, his rude tone infuriating me more and more each time. My jaw clenched, my skin flamed, and my muscles burned that much more than they did before. In response to the new swell of pain, my body curled in on itself until I was in a ball on my hands and knees.
What was I so mad about again? I'd completely forgotten. Well, it didn't matter now anyway. Whatever was supposed to happen was about to; I could feel it. My breath came out in short gasps against the wet ground and I shook so hard that I knew I had to be having a seizure. Why weren't they taking me to the hospital? Whatever was about to happen to me was not going to be good- so what if I needed a doctor?
A low rumble came up from my chest and eventually escaped my lips in the form of some mangled scream. Was that really me? It didn't sound like any noise I was capable of.
But then I was shaking harder, quivering faster, to the point of a terrifying vibration deep within me, and the roar in my head was unbearable.
Just when I thought the roar had reached its loudest, I heard another horrifying noise that was far louder still- a deafening tearing sound, which was accompanied by the feeling of my body ripping out from within itself in the most peculiar, yet un-painful way.
And then… silence. Nothing. I laid on the grass, panting like a dog and thoroughly exhausted. I didn't feel like I was dying anymore, but then again I didn't actually feel… human? I didn't know which word I was grasping for. It was like suddenly I felt less… complicated? It made no sense.
Jake.
At the sound of my name being spoken in my head, I jerked my head to the left. I was shocked to see two humongous wolves standing some twenty feet behind Sam and Jared, right on the edge of the trees. I knew that it had not been either Sam or Jared who had spoken. Then who could it have been? And why in the hell didn't they have any shirts on?
I went to stand up, to run from the giant wolves, but quickly realized I could stand up no further than all fours. But I felt so damn tall though… I was confused, to say the least, until I looked down and almost passed out at what I saw.
In the place of my hands were two humongous, fury paws.
*****
Say say my playmate, won't you lay hands on me
Mirror my malady, transfer my tragedy
Got a curse I cannot lift, shines when the sunset shifts
When the moon is round and full, gotta bust that box gotta gut that fish
My mind's aflame
We could jet in a stolen car, but I bet we wouldn't get too far
Before the transformation takes, and bloodlust tanks and
Crave gets slaked
My mind has changed my body's frame but god I like it
My heart's aflame my body's strained but god I like it
My mind has changed my body's frame but god I like it
My heart's aflame my body's strained but god I like it
Charge me your day rate, I'll turn you out in kind
When the moon is round and full, gonna teach you tricks that'll blow your mongrel mind
Baby doll I recognize, you're a hideous thing inside
If ever there were a lucky kind it's you, you, you, you
I know it's strange another way to get to know you
You'll never know unless we go so let me show you
I know it's strange another way to get to know you
We've got till noon here comes the moon so let it show you
Show you now
Dream me oh dreamer, down to the floor
Open my hands and let them, weave onto yours
Feel me, completer, down to my core
Open my heart and let it, bleed onto yours
Feeding on fever, down on all fours
Show you what all the howlin's for
Hey hey my playmate, let me lay waste to thee
Burned down their hanging trees
It's hot here hot here hot here hot here
Got a curse we cannot lift, shines when the sunshine shifts
There's a curse comes with a kiss, the bite that binds the gift that gives
Now that we got gone for good
Writhing under your riding hood
Tell your grandma and your mama too It's true
We're howling forever...
(Credit for the story title and lyrics goes to TV on the Radio for their song "Wolf Like Me".)
