Butler slowly crept through the door, he said in a rather suspenseful tone "Artemis," Artemis feared for his life at the tone and was prepared to duck and cover like the turtle man on the internet showed him. "I got Chinese!" Butler yelled with glee. Artemis was half was under the covers when he figured out there was nothing to worry about.
"Don't scare me like that, Butler"
"Why?" "Because I said so"
"Good enough for Mew, but not me"
"Who the hell is Mew"
"Onward to dinner!" Butler said changing the topic because he thought Artemis was too young to know his secret that he was the leader of Team Rocket. Wondering about his secret, Artemis headed toward the dining room. As soon as he reached the stairs, he told Butler that he would be down there soon, so Butler went ahead suspecting Artemis's behavior, but why did he care. He waited at the bottom of the stairs for an unsuspecting Artemis.
Artemis looked around carefully making sure no one was watching, carefully placed his butt on the railing slowly, inspected the place for anyone. No one. Let go of the railing and started sliding down, he hated turns though. They always led to him falling off, so he did. His tushie hit the hard cold floor and hurt like hell. He swore, but quiet enough that no one heard. Excellent.
Unfortunately for Artemis, Butler saw him acting childish sliding down the railing. Surely as soon as they reach the table they was gunna have a long talk about noodles. As soon as they all sat down at the table, it became deadly silent, until Juliet broke the silence mentioning how good the noodles were. No one replied to her, but she noticed that they were both eating unbelievably fast; she knew right away that she wasn't going to have a fortune cookie. Butler finished first because of his bigger mouth and stomach; he snatched one from the table, ate the cookie and began to read it out loud.
"Good fortune will come soon, that's lame"
"But a sign of hope, Butler! I still might get the money that I need"
"I thought you gave up on that after your father returned"
"But mother and father are on a vacation in Australia, and won't be back any time soon! Artemis Fowl the Second will commit his greatest crime yet"
"This is what I mean by self-absorbed," whispered Butler to Juliet.
"I feel sorry for the poor lad; he doesn't have a single friend"
As soon as Artemis stopped flattering himself, he asked Butler, "This is absolutely delicious! Where did you get this"
"China"
"No, really"
Butler's expression didn't change.
"Okay then"
Artemis took a fortune cookie, happy that Butler left one for him, though his stomach ached horridly. He hardly was able to eat the cookie, but when he managed to, he read his out loud. "A friend of yours will become closer to you. What Friends"
"I think I know!" Juliet was really exited about the fortune, because, as Butler, and both Artemis knew, she loved playing match-maker. Artemis also knew who she was thinking of, but dared not to mention her name. Proud that he wasn't gay though.
"Want to watch your baby videos, Artemis"
"No, I have crimes to prepare." "Then do you want help"
"NO! I mean, your assistance will not be needed for this"
Butler knew that Artemis wouldn't reveal his REAL business, but it was worth a shot every now and then. Now wasn't one of them. Instead he hoped Juliet would step up to the plate. She did to his disadvantage. "What? Some way to make Holly fall for your charm?" Juliet was holding back a lot more things she could say, saving them for later. LATER! Not good.
Artemis turned red, "NO! What do you take me for Juliet!" He then took his fork and threw it at Juliet, missed, and hit Butler right between the eyes, but before he could even mention anything about it to Artemis, he was already half way up the stairs. "Did you see how red he got? He definitely likes her"
"You should leave him alone about his love life, and if he does like her, it's none of our business. Juliet, get me my coat, I'm going to shop. Don't torment him while I'm gone, I'd know if you did"
Juliet felt as if all her rights were taken. "Me? Torment Artemis? You must be thinking of someone else, I'm only revealing the truth to him"
"Then don't do that either"
"You suck the fun out of everything, ya know that?"