"It's a very dangerous state. You are inclined to recklessness and kind of tune out the rest of your life and everything that's been important to you. It's actually not all that pleasurable. I don't know who the hell wants to get in a situation where you can't bear an hour without somebody's company." -Colin Firth
Twenty years. Twenty years he has been on this planet and, through time, nothing has brought him greater joy than kicking ass and taking names. That has always been Raphael's motto, after all. None of that mushy stuff like what Leonardo and Donatello fawned over like little school girls. From the time the brothers turned sixteen their worlds shifted. Instead of being just Ninja, they instead caught interest in things of more...feminine. Sure, Raphael enjoyed womanly curves every now and then, but love? No way. Love was for those soft humans topside who had normal lives, normal jobs and normal friendships.
Donatello had fallen over April O'Neil from the moment they met and it was torture for the brutish brother to witness. Don't get the idea twisted, though. Raphael liked April. She was funny, smart and could pack a punch when she wanted to. Not too bad on the eyes, either, for that matter. She had waltzed into their lives by happenstance and embraced them for what they were; monsters. What the red-banded turtle loathed was how foolish his brother became when April entered the scene. Nothing was more vomit-inducing than Donnie's goo-goo eyes and extreme measures to impress her. It did, however, make for some hilarious jokes at Donnie's expense. Up until April reciprocated the feelings and they became this super weird couple who snuck kisses in the dark and held hands under the table at dinner. The fun was ruined at that point.
Now Leonardo was with Raphael on this whole "love is not for us. We're Ninja and mutants" for a while. Which was great! Fearless Leader Leonardo would never succumb to such petty fantasies. It was a distraction and Raphael agreed. April was a once in a lifetime possibility, there was no way that a normal girl would ever wind up in their grasp ever again. Enter Karai. The once-daughter of Oroku Saki, The Shredder. So, maybe "normal" wasn't quite the word to use. That psychopath was anything but normal. Of course she had to seduce poor Leonardo, become "good" or whatever and end up as his faithful and annoying girlfriend. Now she lived below the city in the sewers with them because she's top priority #1 for the Foot. Right. If Donatello and April were irritating, Leonardo and Karai were worse. Far worse. They have zero idea of what "privacy" means and don't care if you're sitting on the couch with them, they'll start suffocating on each other's faces.
Michelangelo? Well, some things are just hopeless. He had pizza and that was good enough for him.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
Raphael punched the bag hanging in the corner of the pit with delight as he pondered over his brothers and their life choices. A smug smirk spread across his face as he realized that he didn't have anything holding him back. He wasn't one mind on the fight and one mind on a woman. He was focused. He was driven. He was—
"Hey! Can't you go punch the wall in your room or something?"
Just the voice alone made his eyes roll. Shoulders relaxed, Raphael tossed his head carelessly to look over his shoulder. Perched on the couch, looking like a regal tigress, was Karai. Her sharp, golden eyes were narrowed to slits as her arm draped around Leonardo's neck. "We're trying to watch a movie here," she sneered, gesturing towards the small TV that Michelangelo managed to find at the dump.
Leonardo stroked Karai's hand idly, turning an apologetic smile towards his brother. "It's date night, Raph, sorry."
Karai giggled slightly, a sound that sounded so foreign coming from her, and snuggled deeper into Leo's side. Raphael brought his lip up in disgust, throwing his hands in exasperation before stalking off towards The Lab. He passed Mikey's room on the way, door closed, but the sounds of loud snoring still managed to escape. Great, that's strike two on things to do. Donatello wasn't the most fun to hang around, but at least he would be company.
As he pushed the lab door open he could hear flirtatious laughter that told him April was apparently here. He didn't even know she had arrived. Or, perhaps, maybe she never left last night. Too late to stop the momentum, the door swung on its hinges, smashing against the adjacent wall.
"AH. WHAT THE HELL?!" Raphael ducked his head into his left arm, shielding his vision. The sight that greeted him was disturbing. Donatello sitting on his office chair with April straddling his lap. At least they were clothed. At least they were clothed, he chanted in his head.
April let out a surprised squeak, scrambling off of Donatello and taking several paces away, pretending to be incredibly interested in an empty beaker. Even while looking at the back of her head, Raphael could tell her face was beet red. Donnie just crossed his hands behind his head, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry, Raph. I thought the door was locked, but maybe you should knock next time?"
Without saying a word, Raphael spun on his heel and slammed the door behind him. The sounds of Donnie and April bursting into uncontrollable laughter faded as he walked away, brows furrowed. He passed the pit once again, not even bothering to look at the couch.
"I'm going out," he announced gruffly and was met only with Leonardo raising a hand in acknowledgment. The red-banded turtle leaped over the turnstiles that marked their home and disappeared into the night.
