Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock
Over time, there are certain things that change. These changes are often so small that we hardly notice. But these little changes, these shifts in dynamics, can be the cause of big changes. Changes in the way we look, the way we live, who we live with. People's relationships with one another change and as people get older opportunities in life become less and less. And over time we question what we once wanted, what we once chased, when we were younger.
Allison was sat on the large leather couch in the living room nursing a glass of red wine in her hand. The only light was coming from the wall lights and the lamp that sat beside the piano. As Allison sank dreamily into the couch she stared intently into space, the soft elegant notes of Greg's piano playing fluttered to her ears. But it was the sound of the clock that held her attention.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
She first truly heard the sound of the clock this morning as she took her birth control pills. It was a loud incessant sound that echoed in her ears and pounded at her temples.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
As she had held the pills in her hands she had contemplated not taking her pill today, or any other day for that matter. She had wanted to create an accident. To create a baby.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
She took a sip of her wine as her eyes glanced over Greg's still and firm presence in the room as he sat at the piano. He was sat with his back straight and his shoulders strong as his head bowed slightly as he metrically ran his hands over the keys. The clock however soon seized her attention once again.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Five years and three months that's how long ago she and Greg had become a couple. Two years after Stacy had left and two moths before the end of her fellowship. As Allison took another sip of her wine as she remembers the small spark that ignited their relationship.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
They had been dealing with a particularly difficult case that had everyone stumped. Even House, although he would never have had admit it. But they all knew for sure it was getting to him when he had insisted on visiting the patient's home himself and it had fallen to Cameron to go with him and put up with his mood.
Because it was spring she had been dreading it even more because House had brought his bike to work and as she had suspected, he had insisted on using that as transport instead of her car.
"Oh come on Cameron I know you enjoyed it last time." He through his leg over the bike. "The closeness, the vibrations." He waggled his eyebrows at her.
Cameron gave him a steely gaze but her mouth twitched slightly trying to suppress a smile. She put on the helmet and held onto his shoulder as she climbed onto the back. This time she wasn't shy in wrapping her hands around his waist.
"Little eager, Doctor Cameron." She could hear the smile in his voice.
It was while they were searching the patients apartment that House had asked her. They had been having an oddly similar discussion to that of the one when he had first asked her almost three years ago.
They were looking through the patients kitchen, their backs to each other. House cleared his throat nervously before he spoke. This little action immediately caught Cameron's attention.
"Do erm…" House smiled. "Do you like monster trucks?"
They still stood back to back as Cameron replied smiling herself catching on. "I don't know what they are."
They continued to looking through the kitchen still not facing each other as House carried on.
"Right. I got two tickets. Friday night."
"You asking me to go with you?"
"Sure sounds good."
"Like a date?"
House closed a cupboard door and walked into another room. "Exactly." He replied, the smile evident in his voice.
Cameron stood up straight when he left it at that.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Allison rolled her head to the side a soft smile gracing her face as she looked at Greg remembering the date. They both had had fun, although Greg would never have admitted it and he had of course taken the bike.
"Hey, if I have the opportunity to get a beautiful woman wrapped around me what kind of moron would I be not to take it?"
She had taken the helmet he offered and indifferently replied. "The kind of moron that turned the same beautiful woman down three years ago."
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Allison let out a small laugh as she remembered the look on Greg's face and that wouldn't be the last time she'd give as could as she got.
There relationship wasn't anything profound. The first time they had kissed the world didn't stop turning and the first time the slept together they didn't fit like they were pieces of a puzzle. It wasn't perfect, she occasionally jarred his leg while sleeping, or while making love, but it didn't seem to matter. Greg's leg still hurt when they made love and he still took the same amount of Vicodin. Their relationship had it's ups and downs like any other but the important thing was that they had made there way through it and they were happy. Allison had thought she had everything she had ever wanted.
Until she heard the clock.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
The smile and laugh faded from her face. She stood placing her glass of wine on the coffee table and silently walked up behind Greg. She ran her hands along his shoulders and placed a gentle kiss atop of his head and rested her chin lightly there.
Greg continued playing as he spoke. "What's wrong?"
Allison stood silent for a moment running her hand lightly along Greg's shoulders before she moved to straddle the piano bench and sat beside him lightly moving her hand along his arm indicating for him to stop playing. He turned his head slightly and looked at her intently, his head still bowed.
Allison's hair made a curtain around her face as she looked down at the floor. Sighing she lifted her head, brushing her hair from her face. "I'm 37 years old and childless." She stated simply.
Greg shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the topic of discussion and turned his head away from Allison so he was facing the piano keys. He stole quick short glances at her as he tried comprehend something to say.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Allison titled her head slightly, studying his small but telling movements. Obviously he was uncomfortable about this topic but she could also see that he was carefully structuring what he wanted to say. That gave her his answer.
"Why?"
Greg shifted in his seat and faced Allison. His gaze was strong and warm. "You're 37. At that age…"
"Greg." Allison cut in knowing that her age had nothing to do with it. She nervously licked her lower lip intently looking at Greg for the truth.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Anxiously Greg rose from the piano bench and walked to the middle of the room rubbing his forehead. As he looked back at Allison he saw that she was not accepting his supposed reason as to why he didn't want to have a baby.
Greg looked up to the ceiling and exhaled. "Alright, so it isn't uncommon for women to have children late in life and it is relatively safe." He dropped his head to look at Allison again before turning away from her and walking to the other side of the room as he continued. "However many women aren't dating men who are in their early 50s…" He turned and faced her. "…or popping Vicodin like they were M & Ms that cause serious side effects in the form of liver damage and even in the department that…" He paused looking embarrassed and ashamed before tearing his eyes away from Allison and towards the floor. "…or in the department that makes a baby possible."
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Allison closed her eyes and let out a chastising breath. She hadn't intended to cause Greg embarrassment and especially about the Vicodins side effect of a decreased sex drive. But as always Greg was right. Even if her age wasn't a problem Greg's Vicodin intake and the fact he mixed alcohol and Vicodin was. If they had a baby Greg may not be around for long.
Allison shook away that scary thought.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
She rose from the piano bench and crossed the room towards Greg. He raised his head as he heard her approach and he saw the hopeful look in her eyes.
"Look I know that side effects of the Vicodin are a concern for you, for us both for that matter. But if you could lower you're intake…" House groaned and rolled his eyes walking past Allison and back towards the piano bench. "…and not drink alcohol with them then…"
"Then what?" He stopped and turned somewhat angry. "Change. I thought we had gotten past your desire to change and fix me." It was an old argument but one he couldn't help but cling to when ever he was in a difficult situation with her.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Allison looked at him disbelievingly. "I don't want to change or fix you."
"No, you just want me to stop taking my pain medication." He said sarcastically.
"Because I'm tired of you slowly killing yourself." She stepped closer to Greg. "Vicodin is not a part of you Greg. It doesn't make you who you are."
"We both know that's not true." He whispered dejectedly. His sorrow flittered across his face and his eyes held a heartfelt apology that Allison finally understood.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
She took a dejected step back closing her eyes to stop the threatening tears. "It's not just your age or the side effects of the Vicodin." She opened her eyes and glanced sullenly back at him. "You just don't want to have a baby." Her voice cracked with pain and disappointment.
Greg said nothing he just simply nodded his head.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Allison bit her lower lip and looked away her body visibly shrinking.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
As she faced Greg again her eyes were empty and her voice held a fake brightness. "Well, I'm tired so I'm just going to go to bed." As she walked passed him she lightly ran her hand along his lower arm to his hand and briefly held his hand before she continued to the bedroom.
As she shut the door she wearily rested against it wrapping her arms around her waist and closing her eyes. The insensate sound of the clock still pulsation in her ears and pounding at her temples.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
She had thought she had everything she wanted from life, from her relationship with Greg. She loved him unconditionally but she didn't realize until that moment that she would be willing to give up a baby for someone she loved.
