The light of the fire reflected in the glass of red wine resting on the coffee table as its owner reclined on her sofa with her eyes closed. Soft jazz music played on the stereo, quelling the silence of the apartment. It was late, but sleep was elusive and she had hoped the wine and music would relax her enough to fall asleep, but her mind kept bringing up memories of the past few weeks. Eventually, Alex Cabot's thoughts turned back to the one subject she had been trying to avoid, the beautiful brunette Special Victims detective she worked with.

Sighing softly, Alex sat up and leaned forward, picked up her wine glass and sipped from it as her gaze was drawn to the flickering flames in the fireplace. Her return to SVU had been unexpected. She had asked to be reassigned and a new ADA was sorely needed there after her colleague, Casey Novak, had been disbarred. At first, she had welcomed the chance to finally reconnect with those aspects of her life that she had been avoiding for the past three years. Now, however, she questioned the wisdom of that decision.

When she had returned to New York, she had begun to pick up the pieces of her former life, at least where her career was concerned. However, any personal contacts, save for family, were pushed aside and seemingly forgotten as she walked the path expected of her. She came from a family of means and there were certain societal and personal obligations that her family, more specifically her Uncle, Judge William Harriman, insisted she fulfill.

A Cabot heir was expected to be fully involved in the affairs of the family's business interests. They were expected to marry into a family befitting their class, and, above all, they were expected to be the best at their chosen careers and reach a pinnacle of success worthy of the generations of Cabots that came before them and set an example for future generations to follow. For Alexandra Cabot, that meant pursuing a path that would lead to her election as the District Attorney for New York City and marrying a man of equal ambition and stature, as well as produce the next generation of Cabot heirs.

At loose ends, feeling lost and disoriented with the many changes her life had taken in such a short time, she willingly let herself be lead down the path well trodden by the generations of Cabots before her. It was an easy trap to fall into it. The celebrations of her return lead to dates with men foisted on her by well meaning cousins or friends. She attended charity fundraisers benefiting the many Cabot foundations and causes, where she was seen as the conquering hero who had stood up for justice against the forces of evil, and finally, she became engaged to a man seen as well suited for one of her lineage. Reflecting back on it now, she was less than pleased with herself, embarrassed even, and she was reaping the results of her actions. The detectives at SVU had been, at first, stunned by her return and then a bit angry and bitter, especially Olivia Benson.

Alex shivered slightly as she remembered the emotions that had flitted across the brunette's face as her eyes met Olivia's for the first time in nearly five years before the detective had hid her feelings behind her stoic cop facade. She was prepared for a fight and the bitterness she found, but when Olivia gave her the cold shoulder, it hurt more than Alex had been expecting. She wondered if the fight had gone out of the fiery detective over the years or whether Olivia just didn't care anymore.

Rubbing hands along her arms, Alex got up to retrieve a throw from the closet and tugged it down from the shelf above the coat rack. Alex didn't see the box resting besides it until it tumbled down, spilling it's contents on the closet and hallway floor.

"Shit," she muttered as she crouched to pick up the mess.

Her gaze landed on a hodgepodge of seemingly unrelated items, but as she picked up the box and began picking up each item to return to it, her heart began to beat a little faster. It was a box of keepsakes that had been stored at her mother's house, along with other items salvaged from Alex's apartment after her supposed death, and kept along with items left by her mother after the older woman had died. Sea shells from trips to the beach, a stray piece of jewelry given with tender devotion, and photographs from happier days littered the floor, bringing each memory they held to the forefront of her mind.

Alex, the chill now forgotten, slid to the floor amongst the memories and picked up a handful of photos and began shuffling through them. She studied the images of a happy couple in various poses, in a variety of venues, and felt a stab of envy. Velez had ripped her from her happy existence and she now wondered if she would ever find such happiness again. She stared at the picture in her hand of she and Olivia, taken at a barbeque at Elliott Stabler's house, and a long sigh left her lips as a lean finger traced over Olivia's features.

"Oh Olivia," she whispered softly as a single tear slid down her cheek.

She wondered if her ex-lover ever thought about her and if those thoughts were fond or filled with bitterness and regret. As she continued to thumb through the pictures, she felt a longing to talk to Olivia and try to clear the air between them. However, Alex had promised herself that she wouldn't call the other woman. If Olivia wanted to talk to her, Olivia could call her or at least stop giving her the cold shoulder. Now, however, looking at the memories the two women had made together and missing the closeness and the passion they once shared, Alex was tempted to give in and make the call.

Getting off of the floor, Alex made her way to the telephone and she glanced at the clock on her mantel. It was late, after one in the morning. Alex sighed and reconsidered calling her ex-lover. If she woke her up, Olivia wouldn't be happy with her and would most likely hang up. However, Alex felt a strong need to talk with the brunette and picked up the phone, dialing the familiar number.


The subdued lighting and quiet camaraderie of the bar was welcome after a long day, a long week, of work that was, as always, depressing and frustrating. Long, lean fingers twirled a short tumbler, watching the play of light against the amber liquid through the glass dispassionately. Swallowing what remained of the scotch, Olivia Benson lifted her empty glass for the bartender, silently asking for another drink, and sat it back down again. Glancing at her watch, she sighed and ran a hand over her weary face and briefly considered going home.

She nearly snorted at the thought of the empty apartment as home. Her home wasn't the place where she collected her mail and kept her personal possessions, for all intended purposes, her home was the precinct where she worked. She was there more than she was at her apartment and the people Olivia worked with were really the only family she had. Olivia smiled slightly at the bartender as he sat another drink down in front of her. Olivia considered it for a moment before picking it up. While she loved her job, it depressed her that it was the only thing she had in her life. Her dreams of a family of her own seemed out of reach, especially since there was no one in her life that she would consider settling down with.

Lifting the glass, she sipped the liquor slowly, the burn going down her throat dulled by the consumption of the previous drink. A gust of cool, wet wind from the opening of the bar's entrance caught her attention and her eyes glanced toward the mirror behind the wooden bar and a glimpse of blonde hair made her breath hitch.

Turning in her seat, she spotted the blonde entering with two other women, smiling and laughing as they looked for a place to sit. They walked with confidence, as if they owned the place, much the same way Alex had when she would join the detectives for drinks after work. The mystery blonde was an attractive woman, tall and slender with a beautiful smile. Glancing at her equally lovely companions briefly, Olivia returned her gaze to the blonde, noting her stylish clothing as she shrugged out of a wool coat. Unbidden memories, memories she had been trying to drown, came to the forefront of her mind and Olivia indulged them briefly.

Closing her eyes, she remembered Alex's laugh, her scent after coming in from a cold day, and the smile meant only for the brunette when the blonde crossed the room. Olivia's jaw tightened as the more pleasant memories were shoved aside by feelings of resentment and betrayal at seeing the attorney after Alex's involuntary absence had turned into the woman voluntarily staying away from friends at the precinct, staying away from her. Turning away from the women, she gulped down the remaining liquid in her glass and pushed it forward for the bartender to refill when he came by.

Her senses dulled by the scotch, she took out her cell phone and glanced at the screen. Thumbing through the list of contacts, she came to one she had just added, Alex's new cell phone number. As she was once again working with the attorney, Olivia had been forced by necessity to enter the number into her cell phone. She had no intention of ever using, unless absolutely necessary, but now, she studied it, so tempted to push the call button and connect with the woman she had once loved. The one she still loved, if Olivia were honest with herself.

Before she could commit to the call, her shoulder was jostled as someone sat besides her. Glancing up, annoyed at the intrusion, she came face to face with the blonde she had been watching earlier. The beautiful smile she had admired greeted her and she couldn't help but return it with a slight one of her own.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump you."

The woman bit back a smirk and hardly looked contrite as her soft brown eyes met Olivia's. Olivia found her voice and bobbed her head in acceptance of the apology.

"No harm done."

"Let me buy you a drink to make up for it."

"Really, it's okay. You don't have to do that."

Olivia's mind was dull from the alcohol and the exhaustion that always seemed to hover around her. She tried to find the words to discourage the gorgeous stranger beside her, but the words wouldn't form in her mind. She glanced at the well manicured nails as the woman's hand landed softly on her forearm and gave a tiny squeeze.

"I insist."

Olivia finally agreed and the bartender filled her glass with two fingers of scotch and served the other woman a cosmopolitan. The brunette's fingers tightened around the phone as her companion's, whom she found out was Megan, perfume wafted over and teased her senses. It was a subtle musky scent that was refreshing, yet sensual and Olivia felt a stirring within her that she hadn't felt for a long time. She recognized the stirrings of lust and immediately felt guilty. She wasn't thinking of Megan, the beautiful woman at her side, but her mind was on the attorney who still owned her heart.

Glancing at the phone she still held within her tight grip, she saw that it was almost a quarter after one and reconsidered calling Alex. Surely, she would be in bed asleep by now, but Olivia almost desperately needed to hear the sound of her voice, though she was loath to admit it. Relenting to the overwhelming desire, she asked for her companion's indulgence and turned away from her, pressing the call button before she could talk herself out of it.


As Alex pushed the numbers into her phone, she heard the subtle turning of a key in the locked door and wiped the evidence of tears from her face as she snapped the phone closed and lay it down. Turning toward the door as it opened, a stiff smile graced her lips and she walked over to greet the newcomer.

"Hello darling," a soft kiss returned her greeting as her companion removed his coat.

"Jim. I wasn't expecting you tonight."

Taking the coat from him, she hung it up in the closet and shoved the box to the back with her foot before she closed the door.

"I was working late at the office and thought I would come by. I've missed you."

Alex didn't reply, but touched his shoulder in passing as Jim Steele removed his suit jacket and loosened his tie. He could tell she was upset about something and began to rethink his late night visit.

"If I came at a bad time..."

She waved away the suggestion as she moved toward the kitchen, the urge to call her former lover curtailed by the appearance of her present one.

"Are you hungry?"

Alex's query went unanswered as the buzzing of the vibrating cell phone caught Steele's attention. In two long stride's, he was at the hallway table where it lay and picked it up. He glanced at the caller id and his jaw set as Jim saw Olivia Benson's name on the screen. He had heard the old rumors about her and Alex's history, but dismissed it as office gossip. However, now that the two women worked together again, the rumor mill had started speculating if the two would get back together. It was late and even though the call was probably work related, he answered the call brusquely.

"ADA Cabot's phone."


Olivia was shocked into silence. That was certainly not the voice she had been expecting to answer.

"Hello?"

Olivia started as the second greeting and ran a hand over her face.

"Is...is Alex there?"

Her words were slightly slurred and her voice hesitant. Jim frowned, immediately realizing this call was personal, not professional, and he began to wonder if the rumors might be true. Instinctively, he fought to protect his territory.

"It's late Detective. Try calling back at a more appropriate hour when you're sober."

The call abruptly ended and Olivia looked down at the phone in her hand. Tears stung her eyes and she angrily stabbed at the button to shut it down. Now she knew why she had never heard from Alex. She had been replaced in the blonde's heart and Alex had moved on.

Forcing her emotions down, she turned back to Megan and pushed away the drink in front of her. After pocketing the phone, she placed her hand lightly on the other woman's thigh. It was time for her to move on as well.

"Would you care to join me for coffee at my place?"