A/N: Okay, this is my third story ever and first Fullmetal Alchemist one, so I apologize in advance if I make your eyes bleed. Important note, this takes place during the first series and it's kinda AU, but not really. You'll understand when you read it. Oh I almost forgot, spoiler warning (duh!) for episode 7 and possibly 6. Now on with the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...obviously
Tenth birthdays are usually a happy time for most girls, but for me it's just a reminder of the most painful time of my life. And yet I can't help but come to the cemetery every year and look at that stone that marks the day everything changed for me.
It all started six years ago on my fifth birthday…
Today was the big day! This is the day, the year, that I can start school, I won't be called a little kid anymore (now I'll be a kid!), and…and…I can start school!
I watched as Alexander trotted into my room. "Alexander, today's my birthday!" The big, fluffy monster of a dog wagged his tail and barked excitedly as if he understood.
"Come on, Alexander, let's go see what Daddy has planned for today," I said as I jumped out of bed. As I made my way down the hallway, my socks skidding on the corners, the smell of delicious breakfast wafted through the house. I could tell today was going to be a good day.
Fool.
When I entered the kitchen, Daddy was still at the stove scrambling a pan of eggs and finishing up a few slices of bacon, a plate of steaming blueberry pancakes beside him.
I couldn't keep the smile off my face and the sparkle out of my eyes.
A complete Idiot.
"Good morning, Sweetie, happy birthday," he said as he presented me with a plate of warm scrambled eggs, crisp bacon, and fluffy pancakes with blueberries in the form of a smile. My mouth watered and my stomach growled.
"Thank you so much Daddy!" I exclaimed when I grabbed my plate.
Man, this day is starting out so great, I thought, but…something's missing or rather someone.
"Hey, Daddy, where's big-big and little-big brother?"
"Oh, Ed had to go in to Central and Alphonse went with him."
My face fell and disappointment flooded my eyes. I know Ed's super important now, but he kept away the loneliness, so I couldn't help but feel a little sad.
Upon seeing my face Daddy quickly added, "But don't worry, they'll be back for your special birthday dinner and I think they left you a special surprise on the table."
I couldn't move to the table fast enough, I almost dropped my plate. I could hear Daddy chuckling softly, his voice filled with warmth.
He was right! On the table there was a box wrapped in bright yellow and blue with a flower crown on top.
After carefully placing the crown on my head, I tore off the paper. Sitting at the bottom of the box was a beautiful picture frame with a rainbow of flower embellishments on it. In the frame was an old picture of herself as a baby, Daddy, and…Mommy?
Daddy wiped his hands on his half apron as he made his way over to me. He asked, "Well, Nina, what did they get you?"
For a moment I could only stare at the picture. I was in between them, Mommy and Daddy, my hair was still in two braids even though there was barely enough hair to do it with. Daddy was all clean shaven and looked so happy. And Mommy looked just like she did when she...She had my sparkling blue eyes and her long brown hair curled slightly at the bottom and a smile graced her small, soft lips.
Daddy looked over my shoulder and immediately froze. I couldn't see his expression as the light caught his glasses and made a glare.
"Hey, Daddy," I started, "do you think Mommy will come to my birthday this year?"
He stiffened even further.
"Today I have a little work to do with the exam coming up, but I promise I'll be done early and we can have a lot of fun, doesn't that sound nice?" he stammered out.
Lies.
"Yeah it does," I was excited but confused. "But Daddy, you didn't answer my question. Is Mommy coming?"
He looked away from my pleading eyes. He seemed to be debating with himself almost like he couldn't bear to tell me the truth.
But then, he smiled and said, "you know I think you will be seeing her this year. Very soon."
The Hideous Truth.
"Really?!" I could hardly contain my excitement. But Daddy didn't look that excited. I wonder why.
"Yeah. Now I've got to get some work done, so why don't you and Alexander go play outside and I'll come get you later, sound good?"
"Yep," I exclaimed through a mouth full of pancakes. "And don't worry Daddy, I know this test is super important, in fact if you want Alexander and I are happy to help!"
Daddy smiled, "I'm sure you two will be." He then went into his super secret work room. He's been so worried about that test thingy lately, it's nice to see him smiling again.
It didn't take me long to inhale the rest of my breakfast and run outside bundled in a coat with Alexander trailing behind. He and I played for hours, my excitement keeping me going, even when it started to rain. Finally, Daddy called me in.
"Come on Nina, I need yours and Alexander's help."
"Really, Daddy?" I asked with a smile."I've been telling you Daddy, if you ever needed any help, Alexander and I would be there for you." Alexander barked seemingly in agreement.
"Yes, Nina. In fact, yours and Alexander's inseparable bond is the only thing that can help me."
Foolish Child.
Daddy led me down the stairs into his special work room. I've only ever been in his work room a few times so I was confused when there were covered boxes-no cages covering the space.
Lots of strange noises were coming from them. I couldn't help my curiosity from taking a peak. I instantly regretted it when a filthy clawed hand reached through the bar, looking for something, anything. I yelped and stumbled back, my hand flew to my mouth.
God's Rejected Children.
"Come along Nina," Daddy called. He didn't seem to notice my little peak at the cage.
I nodded numbly, my mind still shaken from the surprise of the monster beneath the sheet. I grabbed onto Alexander seeking some form of comfort.
I followed Daddy into the dimly lit room. It had those magic circles that little big brother uses, but these were different. These dried in a dripping manner giving them an eerie feel to them. What's worse is that some of them…were red. I barely managed to suppress a shiver that crawled up my spine.
You Little Idiot.
"Are you making a bunch of magic flowers Daddy?"
He chuckled, but it wasn't a happy one, no, it couldn't be described in any other way but manic.
"No, Sweetie. Now I just need you and Alexander to stand in the center of the big circle on the floor, okay?" He asked with a smile, his voice sounded sickly sweet.
Turn Back While You Still Can.
"Is this a surprise for my birthday, Daddy?"
His eyes gleamed, "Something like that."
I lead Alexander and myself to the center of the circle. I started to get a strange feeling of unease tingle in my toes and work its way through my body.
Run. Run Away.
"You're going to make things much better for Daddy, Nina. If it weren't for your determination I don't think I would have been able to pass the exam again."
I didn't quite understand what he meant but I was excited to know I'd be helping Daddy out.
He put his hands on to the circle, just like I'd seen my big brothers do. Immediately, a blindingly bright, blue light came out of the circle. I had to shield my eyes with my arm just to see two feet in front of me. Wind came out of nowhere and rushed in my ears.
Move!
Over the rush of the wind and the blinding light I could just see Alexander with his paws over his ears. He was whimpering and it was only getting louder. It soon turned into full on howling.
Tears sprang to my eyes at seeing Alexander in such pain. What's worse is I didn't know what was causing it. He was completely fine until Daddy had-
"Daddy!" I called urgently. He looked up at me but didn't see me as his daughter. He looked at me more like…an experiment. "Daddy, Alexander's hurting! You have to stop!" I shouted at the top of my lungs hoping he would hear me over my dear pet's cries.
He continued to look at me but behind his glasses his eyes held a wild look in them, "I know, Sweetie," his voice dripped with maddened delight, "it's supposed to, but don't worry. Your turn will come soon enough!"
My eyes widened, "Daddy, stop it, stop it righ-" I couldn't finish my sentence. My mouth moved but made no noise.
Daddy's face seemed to lighten at my struggle.
Forsaken Child.
That's when the pain erupted. It was sharp and overwhelming and came from everywhere. A scream tore its way through my throat, tears poured out of my eyes like a river. The physical pain was awful, but nothing could compare to the pain in my heart.
Forsaken Child.
I fell to my knees clutching my body in a sad attempt to soothe the constant, unrelenting pain.
Just when I thought nothing could be worse, a new sensation came over me. It was worse than pain and somehow worse than the sting of betrayal. There was no way to describe it other than being…deconstructed.
Everything, my body, my thoughts, my very being was becoming unraveled and invaded by something else.
The thoughts of betrayal, the feeling of the one person who should always be there for me, started to unwind to the point where I couldn't even remember who had hurt me.
Forsaken Child.
The feeling once again mutated. This time everything felt too hot, like I had been wrapped in a big thick coat. It also felt inescapably vulnerable. I was missing something I used to always have. The pain had lessened but was present nonetheless.
I couldn't move, all I could do was sit on my back legs and take in the surroundings, or at the very least what I could see beyond my long mane of hair that fell on my face and down my back.
Nothing seemed clear to me, like my eyes and mind were permanently covered in a glossy haze.
I barely noticed when Daddy, the only thing I seemed to still know, beckoned someone over. Two new people entered in. The bigger one smelt like iron, or perhaps blood. The small one smelt…familiar. Like
Daddy started talking to me, slowly as if he were talking to a child, "Listen, dear, that's your friend Edward."
"Edward…friend," I responded, but it didn't sound right. It didn't sound like me. The voice that came out sounded weary and pained.
"Yes, that's very good, exactly right." I was praised.
"that very…good."
The hollow one couldn't contain his loud excitement, his voice echoed in itself.
Daddy started to say things but I wasn't paying attention. I was more focused on the familiar one n front of me. I took a quick sniff at his face to confirm his familiarity. He seemed sad but I don't know why. As I looked at the rest of him, my eyes caught something.
I put my head to his hip and grabbed at something I knew would cheer him up. After all it always riled him up before. I pulled up the chain at his shiny watch. I was hoping it would get him to play with me, to chase me. It would always work before.
A new memory, a new realization flooded into me. Yes this should make him play with me. After all, it was a special day and he was supposed to play with me.
Life is Always Unfair to the Creator's Children.
"Edward my friend." Who are you?
He replied with a voice filled with longing and sadness, "Yeah that's right." Why does your voice make me feel warm inside?
"Edward, why does it hurt?" Aren't you supposed to protect me? "Edward…my friend…Edward…big brother Ed."
He looked…heartbroken. He stood up and started talking to Daddy, his melancholy having quickly changed to suppressed anger. He started yelling. He started hurting. He started hurting Daddy. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let him hurt Daddy, the only person to love me…I think.
I bit at his long red coat and growled. Deep seated loyalty and protectiveness welled up inside of me.
"No, big brother. Don't…hurt Daddy." He stopped immediately, looking at me with such a pitiful expression. Knowing that Daddy was safe, I turned to the other one….bigger brother, and asked "Can we play now?" He gently petted my head. It hurt but I couldn't bear to put away from the comforting touch.
I don't get it. I did what Daddy wanted, I took the watch, I even bluntly asked. Shouldn't we play now?
Big brothers started arguing and Daddy just laughed at them. That's when the mean men showed up. They shoved me in a cage, they put Daddy in chains. I was put in the back of a truck while big brothers talked to the meanest of all the bad men. Daddy was being put in the back with me.
I whimpered, the pain starting to become overwhelming.
Soon enough we were driving away from big brother. He looked hurt and regretful.
Did I do something wrong? Is big brother mad at me? Is it because I had messed with his watch? My thoughts were interrupted when the truck started to jerk with movement but stopped just as soon as it had started.
We were being tipped over and my cage had burst open.
"Nina!" I looked through the pouring rain, to see brother desperately beckoning me over.
Big brother's mad at me. I can't go to him now. I ran in the other direction looking for some sort of relief. The rain helped soothe the heat but was really nothing more than a nuisance.
Eventually, I came across a man in an alley. He had a big x-shaped scar on his face and smelt sad and lonely, just like me. I came up to him, my drenched tail between my legs. He rubbed my head gently whispering soothing words to me.
"Don't worry. I will make your suffering end." He said as he moved his right hand to rest upon my head.
Will it ever really end? That was my last thought, my last moment before I knew no more.
Six years later I still feel the way I felt then, cheated and sad. And yet every year on my birthday, I feel a little less cheated, because every year my big brothers come to visit me.
They tell me all their stories and they always leave me a beautiful crown of flowers and a kiss on my head, even if it is nothing more than a large rounded stone. Knowing that they come back every year just for me makes the pain worthwhile.
And while they will never know the pain of being literally ripped apart and sewn back together, we can both share our love instead.
"Nina, are you coming?"
I turned to see a beautiful woman with long brown hair that curled at the end, fair skin, and sparkling blue eyes. She held her hand out to me.
I nodded, "Coming, Mommy!" Hand in hand, Mommy and I started to make our way back home, to the place where Mommy had been waiting for me since Daddy first became an alchemist.
At least, among all the lies Daddy told me, he told me one truth as well.
Well that was that. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and please review, criticism is welcome...but please don't angrily rant to me about how awful that was, okay. If you got complaints I know you are a nice person who is fully capable of not making me feel less confident than I already do :D
