We live above you but are still part of you

Disclaimer:- Hmm… since I don't claim anything, I suppose I'm disclaiming everything.

I've never seen anything like this fic before so I decided to write it. This first chapter kind of sucks but it'll probably get better next chapter (if you stick around long enough to read it, that is)

Oh, and consistent usage of 'Cream pudding' is to be ignored. Or replaced with 'Oh dear lord' or something equally strange like 'Cheese and Whiskers'. And if you're a fan of my stories (not that I have (m)any of those =)) beware cheesy Bananas in Pajamas quotes. Well, I do love my children's television shows.

Chapter 1 - Ira's adventure to the toilet

Ghosts don't sleep. I know, I'm one of them. So we need something to entertain ourselves. When the students here at Hogwarts are gone for the summer we get lonely. There are only so many times you can talk to the same portrait about the rip near its frame. I'm a gossip. I'll spread rumours when I'm bored and won't hesitate to listen to one someone else has started.

This year, there's a little more gossip than usual. That boy Cedric's death was certainly something to talk about. Amelia King, my cousin and I enjoy talking. We were upset that he hadn't joined us here. The company around here really could use some spicing up. He was killed too far away and the rumours had it that he wasn't ghost material. It would have been good to have more young folk around here.

I'm a fairly young ghost, only a hundred and ninety-two years of ghostdom. That Myrtle's the youngest but no one talks to her. And I also look fairly young, I was just out of Hogwarts, only to be asked back to teach charms. And then there was an accident in my second year of teaching when I was only 21. Who knew an enveloping charm could go so wrong? Stupid child enveloped me in some sort of strange mist, killed me instantly. We never did find out what it was that she said. I'm sure that Tom Riddle would have had fun with it. He always was a sneaky boy. I stuck around for revenge on her. It took me twenty years, but I did get her back when she came to teach at Hogwarts. I gave her the fright of her life. She was in a mental asylum for the last years of her life.

"Ira," a voice said from behind me. I immediately went invisible. Cream pudding, that's Jemima. She's a hundred and three years older than me and looks about a year younger than me. She's the ugliest ghost this side of Hogsmeade. "I can still see you, you know Ira," she said to me. The horrible thing was that she was right. Ghosts can see each other whether they are visible to the living eye or not.

"Go away, Jemima," I said. I drifted around her. I haven't gotten used to the idea that I'm able to walk - er, float - through her. Too bad I can't apparate anymore. I slid through a wall and into Professor Dumbledore's office. He wasn't in. Capello, the Sorting Hat was sitting over to the side. I talk to him sometimes when I'm bored and when Dumbledore is out. He tests out parts of his new song on me. I'd say hello, but I'm in a hurry. Jemima was still hot on my trail so I went through another wall and ended up in the Ravenclaw common room. Then I had an idea. There was a fire burning in the grate so I went up the chimney. Jemima wouldn't think of that, would she? Ah well. Through another wall and into a store room.

I know where Jemima wouldn't dare look for me. Myrtle's bathroom. I would only be caught dead there. Oh the horror, a girls' bathroom… and I'm going to have to talk to Myrtle nicely to see if she'll let me hide in her toilet. Jemima, why do you do this to me? I zipped through walls and floors in the most direct route to the first floor girls' bathroom. People measure things as the crow flies sometimes. I think that's a stupid idea. Everyone knows that the distance crows take is longer than the distance a ghost takes. Crows have to fly up above things; ghosts simply fly through them.

"Myrtle," I called. "I've come to visit you."

"Ira?" she asked, moaning. But I knew she was happy to see me. I mean, who wouldn't be?

"Hullo Myrtle," I said, drifting through the stall doors to hers. "How are you doing today?"

"Horribly," she said. "I've had a horrible day. That Mrs. Norris startled me again. She hissed and spat at me."

"I wouldn't think she'd go near here after what happened two years ago. She was petrified just outside. By a basilisk."

"Really?" she asked. She didn't know what was going on right outside her own bathroom? I suppose she just spends too much time in it. "I suppose that's why those Gryffindors were there around that time."

"Gryffindors in your bathroom?" I hadn't heard this. Why hadn't I heard this? Seamus and Lavender are Gryffindors. I thought they were telling me everything they'd heard. Maybe they don't know either.

"They were making some potion or other. There were boys in my bathroom. And they weren't ghosts."

"Boys in your bathroom?" That settles it. Maybe Jemima's not so bad. She's led me to some new information.

She nodded. "Although that Harry was kind of cute." Did I mention that ghosts still have hormones? Hang on, did she just say Harry?

"Harry Potter?" I asked her. I know, I'm a chronic gossip. Amelia says I should have died an old woman.

"Yes, it was him and his friends. Rod Wisely and Hermoninny Ginger I think it was." She sat on her toilet.

"And they were making a potion?" I asked.

"Yes," she wrinkled her nose. "And it looked right horrible, too. Then the girl when she drank it, she turned into a cat. The potion was supposed to turn them into other people or something. Only it's not supposed to be used for animals. That was a good laugh." She giggled.

Yes I'd heard about Hermione Granger's cat condition. So that's what happened. I'd gone to peep at her. It wasn't funny. I know about spells and potions going wrong and it's not funny. "What else happened that year?" I'd found the Chamber of Secrets years ago, but I've never found the entrance to it. And I heard that Harry Potter found it that year.

"Oh, later Rod's sister, Jenny, I think, she went down to the Chamber. I'd never known it was there. Then that Rod and Harry and a Professor I think went down, too. Then they came back. I was hoping that Harry would have died so that he could stay here with me… although he didn't really seem like ghostly material."

"I wouldn't think so," I said. I was blissfully happy, I'd just stocked up on some information that would last me all summer trying to figure out. "Thanks for a nice chat, Myrtle. I'll see you some other time." I waved good bye and left her.

And I was immediately confronted by that idiot who calls herself Jemima. Cream pudding, what does she think she's doing?

"Hello, Ira," she said, staring right at me. I stared right back. I figured that after my chat with Myrtle, I'd be able to stand her for a few minutes. "Playing hard to get?"

"Why don't you go terrorize Professor Snape?" I asked her. Can't she take a hint? This kind of reminds me of that situation Draco Malfoy's in with Pansy Parkinson. They're betrothed, you know. But personally, I think he's gay.

She giggled. Ugh, she giggled. Cream pudding, why me? "But you're so much cuter."

"I wish I hadn't wanted revenge on that stupid girl so I wouldn't be here." And how I wished that more than anything. I'm going to hate her for the rest of my afterlife.

"You know you want me," this ghost was definitely starting to scare me. And she wasn't even good looking… not that I would have liked her any better if she was.

"Good bye, Jemima," I yelled and ran off. Maybe if I managed to get past Peeves, he could distract her. It's a good thing the Bloody Baron's one of my best friends… well, close enough isn't it? Okay, so we're far from being friends, and pretty close to being worst enemies. But hey, Peeves loves a good trick as much as I love a good rumour.

This time I'm going to hide in the freezer. That Dobby's been nice about all the time I spend in there. It's a good thing Jemima still doesn't know that that's where I go… otherwise, I'd be looking for a new place.

***

A/N: sorry that was so short, I just didn't have the heart to continue in this chapter. So… next chapter, we get to know a couple of the ghosts a bit better. Please review! =)