Unfaithful
Disclaimer: Well, I have black hair. She has blonde. She has children. I have none. She's married. I'm not. Oh, and she wrote that book . . . what's it called? Harry Potter something or other? Right. What did I write? My grocery list.
A/N: Written as a belated birthday present for my beta and friend Dramione27. Sorry I forgot and I hope you like it!
Story of my life,
Searching for the right,
But it keeps avoiding me.
Sorrow in my soul,
Because it seems like wrong,
Really loves my company.
I never wanted to cheat on Ron. I tried to break it off with him. I really did.
But…I couldn't.
I love him.
"Hermione, don't marry him." The way he looked at me was entirely different from what I used to see from his face. It was a mixture of sadness, desperation and hurt.
But still, I couldn't agree to his plea. I simply couldn't. Everyone was out there, in the church, waiting for me. And most of all, I couldn't disappoint Ron…
"I can't."
He's more than a man,
And this is more than love,
The reason that the sky is blue.
The clouds are rolling in,
Because I'm gone again,
And to him I just can't be true.
I just had to sneak out to see him once more. I just had to. The way he looked at me… The way he pleaded me…
"Please Hermione, just one last night. Let me have a memory of you to cherish forever… Please…"
His eyes pierced into mine, and I knew that I couldn't resist.
He meant the world to me. To see him upset was like piercing a thousand arrows through my heart. He was my everything.
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful,
And it kills him inside,
To know that I am happy,
With some other guy.
I can see him dying.
He knows.
I know he knows. The looks he has been sending me when I go out these days. His eyes just give away his feelings. He looks hopeful, yet somehow…betrayed.
He knows.
He knows, but he just wouldn't blow my cover. He would rather let me cheat on him than to leave him.
That was how much he loved me…
"You'll be back, right?" He asked that for assurance. Assurance that no matter what, I would always come back to him…
"Yes, Ron. I will…"
But I continued to cheat on Ron.
That was how much I loved him.
I don't want to do this anymore,
I don't want to be the reason why,
Every time I walk out the door,
I see him die a little more inside.
I don't want to hurt him anymore,
I don't want to take away his life.
I don't want to be...
A murderer.
It kills him. It kills him to see me cheating on him and coming back late at night like nothing happened.
I was killing him… Day by day… Bit by bit… He was dying.
And it was all because of me.
When I came back, he was sitting in his favourite armchair by the fireplace waiting for me, as usual.
He tried to smile at me, "How did your day go, 'Mione?"
"It was fine." My tone was clipped, my answer was curt.
His smile faded.
But he managed to smile through it all.
I feel it in the air,
As I'm doing my hair,
Preparing for another date.
A kiss upon my cheek,
As he reluctantly,
Asks if I'm gonna be out late.
I say I won't be long,
Just hanging with the girls,
A lie I didn't have to tell.
Because we both know,
Where I'm about to go,
And we know it very well.
How much could a person take? How much could Ron take? How does he manage to look so calm, sound so calm, when he knows that I'm cheating on him everyday? How could he smile and let it go?
I was looking at my reflection in the mirror. His arms snaked around my waist as he placed a strangely chaste kiss on my cheek.
"Going out again?"
We both knew what he meant… The tension in the air was thick. I was almost tempted to tell him everything…
"Yeah, I'll be hanging out with Ginny and the girls." I smiled at him. The lie seemed to come naturally to the tip of my tongue…
He nodded and smiled. "I'll wait for you."
He knew all along that I was out cheating on him.
He knew but he loved me too much to stop me…
'Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful,
And it kills him inside,
To know that I am happy,
With some other guy.
I can see him dying.
How much longer could I hold out? How much longer can I lie to Ron?
I just couldn't do it anymore… I just couldn't…
"I'll be waiting for you tonight…" He said as he passed me my coat.
How could he still stand it?
"Ron, please! I know you know about us! Scold me, hit me, break us up, do anything! Just don't… Please don't…don't keep it to yourself… Stop torturing yourself…"
I couldn't help it. I had to tell him.
His smile never left his face. "I love you, Hermione."
I turned and left.
Life could be so unfair. After all he has done for me, I cheat on him… He doesn't stop me, all because he loves me…
I don't want to do this anymore,
I don't want to be the reason why,
Every time I walk out the door,
I see him die a little more inside.
I don't want to hurt him anymore,
I don't want to take away his life.
I don't want to be...
A murderer.
And after all these, he let me choose. He gave me a choice.
Ron was too kind for his own good. He'd rather I be happy with some other guy than to be miserable with him…
"Hermione… Do you love me?" He asked me. I thought he had finally had enough.
I wanted so much to tell him yes, but… I didn't. I didn't love him anymore.
"No… Sorry, Ron."
"It's alright. We can…" You could see tears swimming in his eyes, "We can file for a…divorce."
It pained him to say so. It killed him to say so. But he did.
And I left him.
Our love,
His trust,
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head,
Get it over with.
I don't want to do this,
Anymore, ooooooh, anymore.
He still loves me, I know he does. I could see it in his eyes; I could see it in his smile.
After all these, he still smiled at me. Smiled for me.
"Congratulations, Hermione." He said it with the same smile he had when he was at our wedding.
"Why, Ron?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you still come to my wedding? Why do you still smile at me?" I had to know.
"Because Hermione, I still love you. I still love you and I want you to be happy." His smile never faltered.
But I don't love him anymore… I couldn't… Tears fell from my eyes.
"Don't cry, 'Mione. If being with Malfoy makes you happy, I'll support you till the end… You do love him, don't you?"
"Yeah Ron, I do…" And he smiled. He smiled again.
He died that night.
He committed suicide in his bedroom -our bedroom- the night of my wedding.
It was all my fault. I killed him…
REVIEW! Especially if you are a Dramione shipper... I need to know if you guys are still out there supporting a non-existence ship!
