A/N: Do not own anything. It belongs to JKR. I´m only a translator. My friend has written this story... I apologize for my mistakes and for frequently repeated words:D.
Chapter 1 – Conscience
"Lily, get Harry and go! It's him! Run, I'll hold him here… Not Harry! Not Harry... Step aside, stupid girl… I have enough of you mister Potter, Avada Kedavra… Harry, please, get my body back, will you… Lord Voldemort has returned… One of you has to die…murderer or victim…You can't do anything, Harry, he won't come back….won't come back…"
"Noooo," Harry woke up screaming. He gasped and he had sweat on his forehead. Harry sat on the bed and even without his glasses he recognized outlines of furniture.
"Just a dream" he whispered for himself a fall back on the bed. He got up and put his glasses on. He didn't have to try hard to remember, what he dreamt about, he knew it very well. Parents…cemetery…ministry…even Dumbledor´s office. They were his worst memories, he dreamt about them every night, again and again. Fortunately they were just dreams.
He rubbed his forehead. His scar sometimes hurt, but not as much as when he dreamt about Voldemort.
He went to stand next to the table. In his went his inner voice still repeated the words: He won't come back…he won't…won't…
"Won't come back! Nobody won't come back!" he shouted angrily a jabbed the table and the empty Hedwig's cage and few books fell down with dull bang.
Harry listened, if he would hear his uncle's shouting, but he didn't care. Even if he woke him up, he would threaten him with a week without dinner, nothing worse. From the time, when Mad-eye Moody threatened his uncle, uncle's behaviour has changed.
But everything was silent. Harry picked up the cage. Hedwig took second message to the Order, that he is all right and Harry didn't expect she would return soon than tomorrow evening.
"Or maybe this evening?" he thought.
Clock display showed it was 2:15am.
"2:15? Great." He rambled. He wasn't tired. The idea of reliving the dream scared him. He picked up the fallen books. A note fell from one of them so he picked him up also. He realized it was not a note but a picture. Picture of his parent's wedding day. He had to put it in when he looked at it few days ago. He stared at it for a while and observed the moving people… Both of his parents waved at him and Sirius was laughing merrily a he and James ribbed each other.
"If someone at that time told you that you all will be dead and from your own son will soon be a corpse or murderer, you would not believe him…I wouldn't wonder." he said softly. He put the picture back in the book. His throat constricted. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't want to cry…not now.
"Come to terms with it, you stand alone, so put up with it." screamed at himself a look out from the window. He would love to go outside. Walk through dark alleys…run and scream. To take everything from him…all of the pain, fear, sorrow… to be alone for a while… Not that he was scared of Dursleys, but he knew he never was alone. Now, when he knew the truth, he suspect, that Dumbledor won't let him out of his sight. He will not permit to let him walk into problems.
"So, who is it now? Mrs. Figg or Shacklebolt…Lupin? Or someone I don't know yet? Who doesn't sleep because of me? he murmured to himself a stared in the darkness as if he hoped, that someone will appear there and wave at him as if everything is ok and he can go sleep. No one appeared. The street stayed calm and dark.
Harry didn't go back to sleep. He switched on his lamp, took out his book, parchment and quill and did his homework for History of magic. It was the second week of holidays and he already had most of his school work done. He had just Potions and History to finish. For sleepless nights it was a good way to spend time. And what he would do when he had already finished everything? He didn't think about it. He just needed to survive another night and he was successful.
"Potter!" shouted angry voice, "will you come out or you want a written invitation."
"I'm coming…" murmured Harry, as he woke up. He heard aunt's steps down the staircase and then in the kitchen, he heard even her angry muttering. He had to fall asleep, when he was doing the school work. He cursed.
He sat at the table with a book and everything around him was soaked in ink, which he had to over tripped in sleep.
"Damn." he cursed again. He undressed his T-shirt soaked also in ink a put it on the table, to stop spreading the ink. He found a new one in his trunk and went down to the kitchen.
"Finally!" said Petunia and put a plate before him with a little bacon and with very brown egg.
"Bacon and eggs…Sirius favourite breakfast," whispered Harry and look around the kitchen. His cousin already finished his breakfast (much bigger than his) and now he had a second helping.
"Just eat, Dudders," petted him Petunia.
Dudley was the same, just a little bigger, than when Harry saw him last. And Harry noted he was even stronger. Training box was "good" for him.
Uncle Vernon was hidden behind his morning newspapers and was drinking his usual coffee and even had his morning mood. Aunt was working in the kitchen and than she shout at Harry: "Hey, you boy, today you will mow the lawnn. If you will be ready before evening, come for more work."
"Yes, aunt Petunia." said absentmindedly Harry, get up and left the Dursleys staring confusedly at him. After few days they got used to his strange behaviour, when he just sits, stares and doesn't eat, but never happened that he would get up and go to work without complaint and wouldn't touch food.
Harry didn't feel hungry. Just a look on food and he felt nauseous. He knew very well, that his breakfast will end up in Dudley's stomach, but he didn't care.
He started the mower and slowly started cutting the grass on the front yard. Over the roar of engine he didn't hear muttering of his aunt or cousin's or neighbours remarks on his behalf. He could think in peace.
"I cut the grass not even three days ago. You will cut thousand times more before you get out – You think?" – uttered his inner voice. "What if they would kill me today? – Bullshit. Why should anybody kill you? – Because of my nice green eyes…Because of damn prophecy. – But I'm safe here. Dumbledore explained it. – Yeah? I thought that last year too. But then the Dementors came for a visit and… They were sent by Umbridge. – So what? This year even Voldemort could send them. – You are watched. – I was watched last year too. I'm safe in this house. – Really? And what would your auntie do, when will the death-eaters appear? Will she save you like your mother did? No, she would run away and even scold you when you will step on her flowers…"
"Shit, flowers!" cursed Harry loud, when he in thoughts mowed flowers. He looked around, if somebody has seen him, he turned fast around and went on the other side of flowerbed…
"She wouldn't care if it was twenty to one. Dear aunt would thank them and invite them for a tea. So much pleasure you couldn't wish her. – If I won't wish her pleasure, so I will be a murderer. – Better murderer than corpse. – Yeah sure, so much better. Why always me? Why that mental Voldemort couldn't have to choose Neville? – We would be damned. Nothing against Neville, he is a great friend, but in this fight I wouldn't bet on him a knut. – And how much would you bet on me? Let's say I would bet a knut on you. Well, maybe… if Neville was famous and well taken care of as you…- Well taken care of? Sure. I'm curious, who enjoys holidays like me? – You can't have everything. – It would suffice to have a normal life. – Do tell me? You would really give up your pet name FAMOUS Harry Potter? You would really give up being the centre of attention? You wouldn't like to be that boy, who knows about everything that happen, who he gets everywhere he wants and is not punished when he does anything wrong? You don't want to be a hero? Just say it – you like it! You like it so much, you don't want to give it up…"
Harry was so deep in his thoughts he answered few greetings from people he didn't know and he mowed the whole garden three times and he didn't even notice his aunt when she called him for lunch (If she even called him). When he stopped arguing with himself, it was already getting dark. He put the mower to the shed and went back to the house. His first stop was in the kitchen. He wasn't hungry, but his body was protesting against his "diet".
"Have you finished the garden?" screeched his aunt at him as soon as he appeared in door. He nodded.
She tossed a plate in front of him, where was some leftovers of chicken from lunch and few potatoes.
"Hm, thank you."
Without words he ate his portion and went back to his room, while his aunt cleaned every spot in the kitchen. Harry saw plates with sandwiches hidden in the fridge.
"Aunt? Someone will come to visit?" he asked softly?
"The Polkiss." she retorted and put on a face like always when he asked something.
"Oh, shoot."
"Did you say something?" snapped his aunt.
"No, nothing." Harry went up the stairs to his room and played with two apples he commandeered in the kitchen.
In his room he firstly looked at his table blue from ink and that worsened his mood more. He cursed. He hadn't thought about it since morning. At least the shirt had served its purpose and nothing ended on the floor. He cleaned the last remains of the ink and left the shirt on an old chair and the left ink bottle and parchment went to the bin. The biggest problem was his book. Few pages were soaked. Of course it could be just small spell, but he couldn't do magic outside of the school.
"But it is just a cleaning spell. – Four years ago it was just a flowing charm and they almost kicked you out. – And what…If you mix the ministry into this mess, you can say bye bye to Hogwarts. – Dumbledore wouldn't kick you out. – And you would add more work for Dumbledore. He has enough problems as it is. I don't care for a book."
He threw the book on the floor and he threw himself on the bed.
"What are they doing? Dumbledore, Lupin, Ron and Hermione?" He looked up if he would see Hedwig a then he looked back.
"They said they would come for me soon. But what is soon? I have to stay here for a few days. But how long it is?"
His thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell a merry voices, that came from the downstairs. He knew that Dudley and his friend would eat almost all of the sandwiches and then they will find new entertainment, but he won't be their fun. He fastened his jacket around waist, grabbed apple and sneaked outside.
It was already dark.
He went the usual way through the Magnolia Street. He ran fast around the place where he saw the big black dog for the first time. He jumped over small fence to the park and went to the small playground. It looked the same like the last time, but repaired. He leaned against metal roundabout and stared to the ground.
"Last year, when I left, why didn't you allow the Dementors finishing their job? Why didn't you allow ending all of this? Why?! You wouldn't be a nuisance and Sirius would not die. Would not die, because of you…Because of your heroism."
"Why me?!" shouted loud and kicked the roundabout.
"Hey, lad, kindly calm yourself"
On the road near the park stood girl. She wasn't so slim and long brown hair. He couldn't see her face, because she stood out of light, but he was sure she was older than him. He murmured an apology.
"Problem?" she asked friendly and when he retorted no, she went away.
"You behave like Dudley!" he hummed for himself, "you sink very low. And stop pity yourself."
He was thinking. He didn't know about what… didn't know why…didn't know how long…
It had to be few hours. He was interrupted when he heard a shout near him.
"No…Blas…nooo!!!"
He shot to his legs and drew a wand… but he was too slow, he was lying on the ground and something, what was on his chest, was licking his face.
"Blas! You big bad-mannered ball of fur… you can't do that."
Owner of that big beast had managed to remove that thing from Harry and dry his face.
Near his legs stood big beige dog and the owner was that girl from earlier. The dog had earned a slap across his snout.
"You can't do that!... Are you all right?" she turned to Harry a helped him to stand up.
"I'm really sorry. He usually doesn't do that. Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." grumbled. For a while he thought it was Sirius, but soon that hope died out, and with that hope went also his good mood. He didn't want to talk to anybody, so he turned to leave home.
"So, Blas, you should apologize," ordered girl to the dog and nodded to Harry. The dog had to understand every word. He made few steps, sat before Harry, who just dumbly stared and waited what will happen, the dog stood on his hind legs and made sad puppy dog eyes.
No. No, you couldn't be angry at those eyes. Especially when he was reminded of Sirius, he scratched him behind ears and he was rewarded with another lick.
The girl laughed and handed him a handkerchief: "Wipe your face. You are dirty."
"Thanks." said grudgingly and wiped his face, "this is your dog?"
"Sure. This is my Blas. Sure Blas."
"How long do you have him?" he didn't know why he asked… may be he just wanted to be sure, may be he had just wild imagination.
"For about a year."
"Ehm…it is you who walked around while ago?" he couldn't resist another question.
She turned to him and Harry could already see her face. Her face was rounded, bright eyes, nice sight and merry smile.
"If you think that four hours are while ago, then you are the boy who tried to destroy this roundabout." she asked him back. She was still smiling.
"I didn't want to" I was just…"
"And I know who you are." she suddenly butt in his answer, he stiffened. He wiped his forehead, so his scar must have been seen. He tried to hide it under his hair, but…
"You are Dursley, right…" she smile triumphantly. He heaved a sigh of relief.
"No, I'm not." he grinned.
"How so?" she made a face.
"Potter, Harry Potter." he introduced himself and reached his hand to her to shake hands.
"Parker, Jean Parker." she shook hands with him, "It is nice to meet you, Harry."
It was wonderful for Harry. From the time, when he learned he was a wizard, he didn't meet a wizard (or witch) that didn't react by screaming, fainting or any other way that annoyed him. For her he wasn't famous, just a normal boy.
"But you live at the Dursleys?" she asked.
"Yes, I live. How do you know that?"
"I greeted you in the afternoon. I think you don't remember that. You were a bit out of it. I am new here. So I went to meet the neighbours. But how it is you are Potter?"
"I don't live here. I'm visiting my uncle and aunt." he whispered and sat back on the roundabout. The girl sat across him, while her dog laid his head on his knees.
"Blas, stop bothering him!"
"No, it's fine. Let him be." stopped her Harry and petted the dog.
"Visiting your uncle and aunt? So you must enjoy it. Be on a visit and mow the lawn. That is strange, isn't it?"
"It is my job. I have to do it every time my uncle wants it."
"I would tell to do it himself." she grinned at him.
"Me too, but unfortunately I have to."
"So why don't you stop it and go back home to your parents?" she asked.
"I don't have parents. They are dead."
"Ups. Sorry," she winced.
"Doesn't matter. And what about you? Did you moved here?" he changed topic.
"No, I'm visiting my aunt. But probably I will move here. So I want to look, how it is here."
"I advise you – run away and pretty fast. The neighbours are gossipers, so are my uncle and aunt."
"You calmed me." she said.
"You have a beautiful dog." said Harry into the silence and still petted the dog.
"Thank you."
"I knew a dog. He was quite similar to this one. We called him Snuffles. He died. In June." he added.
"That is sad. He was yours?"
"No, my godfather's." he shook his head.
"I see. He was sad too?"
"No, he died too."
It had to sound comically, but his throat stiffened.
"Where do you go to school?" shoot at him to change topic again.
"To Hog…" Bullshit, I can't tell her that! "To St. Brutus," he remembered.
She went bug-eyed and laughed:" So that is you? You are that bastard, they warned me about, and that beats everyone and breaks everything… That´s funny. You don't seem like bastard. Well except for the roundabout."
"Yeah, but you stopped me."
"Why were you kicking it?"
"I needed to vent the anger."
"I know that. Once I was so angry that I threw a juice jug after my friend. He was then… It was his problem, he should not shout."
It was easy to talk with Jean. Harry didn't have many friends except Ron and Hermione (and I do not even count the muggles). They talked about anything and everything (Harry with bit of editing). He didn't know the top ten songs, but he talked out of it. They said goodbye to each other, Harry knew almost every single thing about her. She went to the academy, they kicked her out – she had disagreement with the teachers, then she studied in London, she has only mother and one brother and she wants to move to Little Whinning because of school. He asked how old she is, but she told him it is impolite to ask such a question.
"Will you be here tomorrow?" he got red and he hoped that it sounded normally.
"May be. We will see. I don't know when this dog will drag me out. See you. Come on, Blas." Blas greeted him with a bark and he disappeared in the darkness.
Harry went home with better mood then when he left. He would never believe that ordinary talk would lighten the mood. He forgot his depression and he even forgot Sirius and the prophecy…
He was lucky. The Polkiss just stood in front of the house.
"Vernon, I must tell you that you have the best lawn far and near."
"You know – hard work…"
"Hard work – but whose?" snorted Harry and slipped in to the house. He went by the living room, where the boys have eaten the rest of the food, and Harry disappeared in his room.
Hedwig was already there. She was a bit angry at him, that he let her wait for so long, but still she hooted at him. He pulled of his jacket and rid Hedwig of the letter. It was the same as the last time. That they got hi message, to take care of himself, not to get into the problems, that they will get him soon.
"Soon…" he snorted.
He didn't let them to spoil his mood. He threw the note to the bin. He also gave Hedwig some treats and he went to bed. He fell asleep in very good mood.
