All There Is To It
Warnings: Mentions of smex, Yaoi (IE boy/boy for the clueless), and maybe extreme OOC-ness.
Disclaimer: You know what; I don't even put these on my stories anymore. I mean, if I did own KH characters I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about them. Sod off.
A/N: Yay for morbid oneshot on Dexion Day! Huzzah!
It sucks, I know, I'm terrible, don't shoot me. I just had this idea and ran with it because I liked it so much.
Right down to the awful ending.
ZOMGSPOILED.
Now go read it. It tastes like salt water.
The first time Demyx ever liked anyone, it had to be a male. His parents were strict Catholics and he was merely an agnostic teenager thrown into the strict world of Evangeline churches that he didn't believe in; so when he started to form feelings for a boy in his class he figured all hell would break loose eventually.
But it didn't and shortly after these feelings developed Demyx inexplicably began to see more of this male- one of the grade ahead of him named Zexion –everywhere. At school Zexion mysteriously joined one of his classes in the middle of the quarter. At Demyx's place of employment, Zexion showed up and uncharacteristically decided to take guitar lessons.
Zexion wasn't particularly known as a social butterfly. Or a musician. Or anything non-academic, really. Demyx should have known that the day Zexion walked into his life nothing would be the same. But he didn't think about it because he just liked this boy so damn much. That's all there was to it.
Twice a week Demyx got to see Zexion with his narrow, soul-piercing eyes and off-gray hair that had to be dyed (because in Demyx's eyes that color was too beautiful to be natural and just had to be from-the-bottle). Twice a week those eyes would stare at him and that hair would be available to run calloused fingers- of years practicing guitar –through those locks of hair. Twice a week that short little cutie that he had been so keen on for no apparent reason became something more than a stupid boy-crush on another male. Demyx was falling in love.
At the same time, unbeknownst to Demyx, Zexion was falling in love as well. He had taken up guitar lessons to be closer to a certain blond with a fetish for 80s metal bands and Japanese pop music. He had switched into a Music Theory class with the bullshit excuse that he wanted to 'expand his horizons' when the only thing he really wanted was to expand those horizons to the same blond-haired-blue-eyed soul that captivated him curiously in the library one day while searching for a book on some guitarist named Slash. Both of them were falling in love with each other. Neither of them knew about the other. But both of them held hopes high and that's all there was to them.
Over the course of a few months, Demyx and Zexion grew closer- closer than any friend or family member would have pegged the polar-opposites to ever get (because as Zexion had so eloquently stated, "Someone like him would generally piss me off yet he doesn't"). They would spend time together outside of school and in-store guitar lessons. They would do homework together. Go to the park. Go out to dinner. Buy each other nice stuff.
And one day they kissed.
It wasn't messy or sloppy or hot or passionate. It wasn't dirty or cheap or empty or heartless. It was simple and clean, soft and sweet, and overflowing with unspoken emotions that never caused friction anywhere other than within the confides of skinny jeans and dress pants. And at that point, that's all there was to it.
They dated for months, the cup of their relationship most definitely half-full as opposed to half-empty. Kisses would get fiercer. The urges would become less ignorable. Though they were content remaining virgins for the time being, Demyx was undeniably beginning to crave something more- something past 'second base'. And after nine months together he was starting to have his doubts he would ever get what he wanted.
But it was for Zexion.
Demyx's needs would just have to wait. And that was love and that's all there was to it.
On their first anniversary Demyx came out. Not to his parents, but to Zexion. He finally admitted that his craving for sex was getting too powerful and during their make-out sessions he was beginning to lose control. For you see, Zexion had intimacy issues. He was very shy when it came to kisses (his were chaste), making out (he was submissive), and even the gentlest touches (made him writhe). Poor Zexion had a troubled past and didn't enjoy taking that fact out on Demyx by not allowing him what he wanted—what he needed. And Demyx hated seeing Zexion upset or in pain, which he saw more of than he would have liked to admit.
So on their first anniversary, they did what they felt was right. Demyx took Zexion's virginity. It wasn't mind-blowing. It wasn't fantastic. It wasn't perfect. Zexion was screaming (in pain or pleasure Demyx wasn't quite sure) and that bothered his boyfriend. Speaking of which, after this what would they be? Lovers? Sex toys? No… What they had was special. They had to be soul mates, Demyx was sure.
After they had sex (made love) they shared their first 'I-Love-You' with each other. It was sweet and romantic and even though they were both in pain and extremely curious about what just happened, the two of them were content. And that's all there was to it.
Two months later Zexion began scouting colleges. As much as he would have loved to bring Demyx along, money was tight at the moment and there was only room in the vehicle for him and one of his parents (who needed to be there for whatever consulting reason they did). Demyx was left at home.
Alone.
Feeling empty.
Like shit.
Because he had been left behind, chosen under an Ivy League school. Maybe it wasn't love. Maybe Zexion just wanted sex. Or maybe he just wanted to feel special. There wasn't really love in their relationship. Demyx knew that was all there was to it.
A text came to Demyx within the first month of Zexion being gone. It was typed in standard Zexion-speak: complete sentences, punctuation, and generally annoyed emoticons when something stupid was said. Demyx hadn't known what to expect of it; he hadn't heard from Zexion in almost two weeks. College-scouting was probably going well. What college wouldn't want that genius among their ranks?
A stupid one, that's what.
And the text was a break up. It wasn't wordy. It wasn't apologizing (because the apology was the second message). It wasn't anything other than an explanation.
He had found his dream school and didn't want to give up his future for a relationship that was condemned from the start. From Zexion's eyes, if Demyx couldn't even open up to his own parents, why should he open up to some guy he hadn't been with two years and hadn't slept with two times (even though it was three)? After that there was the apology.
That's all there was to it.
Years after their relationship died Demyx and Zexion had both truly gone their separate ways.
Demyx became a musician and taught guitar lessons full time to less fortunate children. His warm heart earned him smiles and hugs, cheek-kisses and joyous tears, record deals and sexual favors (which he refused to take part in). Zexion became a civil engineer and built cities, designed skyscrapers. His cold, calculating mind earned him nods and stamps of approval, promotions, and money thrown on his doorstep (which he had too much of to ever spend in an entire lifetime).
Both knew of each other's successes but never spoke a word of what they previously had. Both consistently watched each other from the outside and stepped out against whatever obstacle crossed the other's path. Unknowingly they protected each other for the rest of their lives until the day Zexion died a painful death-by-drive-by. Who shot him? No one knew for sure. Many people attended his funeral, including Demyx. There were no words left to say, no sentiments to be spoken.
Demyx didn't shed a single tear and when other visitors met him and asked about his relation to Zexion, the response was almost always 'high school classmates' or something to the effect of 'best friend'. There were no words left for him to say other than those because it would've pained him too much to speak them. They were words no one would ever get to hear; feelings no one would ever know about.
Did Zexion's death break his heart?
It was already broken.
Did Zexion's success bother him?
They were equally renowned.
Would Zexion be happy to see him now?
Surely indifference would overwhelm his former 'lover'.
At the end of that day (and at the end of every September 6th for the rest of his life) Demyx stood out on a cliff and watched the sunset over the water. His new band mates and companions who he had met during high school (yet ignored due to infatuation with a now-dead scientist) would put reassuring hands on his shoulders.
The redhead would rub his back. "It still hurts, doesn't it?"
Demyx would shake his head.
The blond would wipe the silent tears. "It's okay to cry."
Demyx would just shrug.
He would turn to face both of them and with a heartbreaking, tortured, defeated smile he would stare straight ahead, eyes meeting the gravestone. "He's dead and gone," Demyx would say spitefully in a cheerful tone of voice. "That's all there is to it."
