Inspired by my parents' fruitless attempts to encourage me to be like my sun-worshipping peers, and due to the fact that the best thing to do when you're sunburnt is to make minimal movements and enjoy yourself in someplace cool--like now, for instance, in my air-conditioned room.
After months of inactivity, the Chuunin Alchemist brings you:
Organization XIII Visits the Water Park
Part One: Organization XIII and the season called Summer
It was a remarkably boring day in the World That Never Was, and despite the Nobodies' best attempts, the intolerable heat that was summer arrived. Xemnas himself, cooped up in the deepest chambers of the World, fanned himself in an attempt to keep his noble brow dry. He was reading blueprints to Castle Oblivion (it had not been built yet, you see), but with every few words he read a drop of perspiration would fall from his head. How the heat had gotten this deep into the building he could not explain, and he reminded himself to summon Vexen or Zexion or whoever it was in charge of the climate control settings of the Organization HQ.
After about an hour or so of mopping the sweat from his face (yes, it was that hot), he decided that he would not stand for this and summoned a Dusk to relay the message that the Organization members were to meet in the central room where most meetings were held.
Moments later, the highly irritated Xemnas sat at the highest seat of the room, watching his underlings, who had gotten their fair share of heat as well.
Xigbar complained that the heat was setting off his ammunition. Xemnas curtly replied to him that this was not his concern, and that if the property damage really was as bad as the marksman claimed, he should move the bullets to a cooler place—say, the freezer. Lexaeus in particular was averse to this suggestion, as Xigbar's bullets were long and thin, and could easily have been mistaken for frozen sausages, of which he had a culinary fondness for, and held a somewhat worried expression during the waiting period. Xigbar frowned tremendously throughout the waiting period, his hair comically up in a ponytail, which even Zexion had found amusing.
Xaldin had apparently taken to wearing a sweatband on his head, similar to those worn by normal humans playing what seemed to him as a pointless game, but even the Superior himself could be caught watching the game termed "basketball", and Luxord would regularly take bets on which team would win. He sat uncomfortably on his perch in the third seat, his robes dripping of sweat. He was not the only male member whose robe had suffered, and a small puddle could be seen on the floor of the conference room below them.
Vexen in particular appeared to be the worst among those who suffered from the heat. According to the academic, half of the chemicals in his laboratory had heated up and exploded, doing as much damage as Xigbar's bullets. These could not be safely stored in the freezer and so he had been forced to have his Nobodies ingest the chemicals, resulting in Nobodies that exploded randomly during the day. The Superior had been victim to one of these as the Dusk that he had sent to inform the Organization members conveniently blew up in front of him and giving him a good excuse to have a refreshing bath. Vexen, whose affinity with ice drastically increased his susceptibility to heat, scowled throughout waiting of the other members, and quite comically had several Nobodies with portable fans surrounding him.
Lexaeus frowned more than usual, but was otherwise as he usually was. He complained only that the heat was getting to the other Organization members and that if no action was to be taken the World That Never Was risked imminent destruction via Larxene's PMS-powered-up-by-berserk-caused-by-heatstroke, Demyx wasting all the water, Marluxia trying to kill Demyx in order to save his plants from drying up, the exploding bullets, chemicals and Nobodies, and other results of the disastrous season called summer.
Zexion was silent, as he usually was, for a few moments until a Dusk blew up near him. Xemnas saw through Zexion's calmness in that instant, as the schemer spit out bits of debris that had ended up in his mouth distastefully. He could see quite plainly that he was on the verge of either a nervous breakdown, or plain insanity.
Saix was mysteriously late for the meeting until he explained that in view of the inevitable calamity that would befall the Organization due to the summer heat, he had adapted to a nocturnal lifestyle. Admittedly it was not one of the most sensible moves that any person could do to thwart the heat, since Marluxia (whose quarters were directly below that of Saix's) commented that there were strange leaks his ceiling during the day helping to water his precious plants. Eventually the Graceful Assassin had realized that the new sprinkler system was in fact Saix sweating in his sleep and had taken to wearing his hood up whenever he walked into his room. The only reason that Saix had been able to attend the meeting was because the sausage sandwich Lexaeus had left for him to eat upon his awakening had exploded rather violently, waking him up to find his chambers splattered with what looked to be ketchup, mustard and relish with a bit of onion. (Lexaeus beamed with pride that his comrade had been able to identify these condiments, signs that his cookery was improving.)
Axel was the only member who seemed to be unaffected by the heat, probably due to his affinity to fire. His main complaint was that neither Roxas nor his Nobodies could tolerate his presence, as he himself radiated the heat as well. This was particularly useful in the middle of cold, dark portals and wintertime, but he had been hurt by the fact that his best friend was avoiding him despite his best efforts… Xemnas rolled his eyes during his explanation, whereas the rest of the Organization took occasional glances at an unusually red Roxas, who was either too hot for comfort or blushing madly.
Demyx had arrived to the meeting looking worse for the wear, fresh from an argument with Marluxia about the water supply and his plants. It had all started as a refreshing way to annoy the hell out of the rest of the Organization, since Axel and Roxas appeared to enjoy his water duplicates' attacks… Xemnas laughed at various parts of the story, in particular the part where Larxene tried to strangle him.
Luxord had no complaints, mysteriously, save the part when he'd tripped in a puddle of his own sweat and swore with great enthusiasm.
Larxene, upon given her turn, began a rambling monologue about the recent disasters to strike the Organization. Xemnas scarcely paid much attention to her speech, save several interesting sections in which her wardrobe had blown up due to the fact that a chemically laced Nobody had been nearby, sending various articles of clothing in all sorts of directions, one of which was the doorway. She followed this up with a short retelling of an instance in which Zexion had brought her her lunch only to find a pair of panties launched into his face, causing more than half of the Organization members (including Xemnas) to shriek with laughter. Needless to say, Zexion was not amused.
Roxas had few complaints, the most drastic being the fact that his stock of sea salt ice cream had been depleted by the rest of the members. Apparently he did not, as was presumed, find Axel's presence the least bit discomforting, and apologized to him. A big smile lit up the older Nobody's face, causing several in the conference room to snicker.
After everyone had expressed his or her complaints, Xemnas removed his hood and stood to address the members.
"Most of you have suffered greatly due to the heat, I assume…" he began, when one of the Dusks fanning Vexen exploded fantastically, triggering a set of chain reactions causing the ret of Vexen's entourage to blow up, unseating the ice user and covering him with a fine layer of dust, which mixed with his sweat, causing his face to resemble a bar code and his hair to resemble Xigbar's. Axel, Roxas and Demyx laughed.
"As I was saying, the heat has affected all of us drastically, and I propose a solution, one which will benefit the Organization…" continued Xemnas.
"Do we move to the Land of Dragons?" asked Xigbar. "I know a man who can give us a nice, cold piece of real estate…"
"No." said Xemnas curtly. "I propose we take a little vacation."
Everyone stared at him. The Superior, suggest a vacation? Unheard of...unless the heat had affected his brain. In that case, it would be best to stay quiet.
"There is a place on a nearby world called a 'water park', and it seems to be the best place to retreat for the moment. I will order the Nobodies to get things around here fixed in our absence. Everyone who agrees with the suggestion say 'aye'."
A collective 'aye' rose from the Organization members.
"Very well then, pack up! We leave in a few hours. Any questions?"
Vexen raised a fine dusted hand. "What exactly does one do at these so-called 'water park's?"
"You don't know what a water park is?" asked Roxas. The academic shook his head, and Roxas explained. "It's basically a large patch of land with a lot of swimming pools. Most water parks usually have water slides-"
"Ooh, you mean big slides made of water?" interrupted Demyx.
"No, large pipes with a bit of water streaming in them. People get into the pipes, which start about three or four storeys above ground level, and the pipes usually twist and turn around before they end just before they hit the water in the pool, and when the people slide down the pipes they land into the water." continued Roxas. "Not all the pools have them. Some water parks even have huge pools with machines that make waves, and some machines can make waves big enough for people to surf on, but normally the waves aren't that big…"
"What do people usually wear to these 'water park's?" continued Vexen.
"Regular swimming attire. And you'd best bring sunscreen too because pretty much all water parks are in sunny places."
Vexen grumbled, not liking this one bit.
"I for one think it's an excellent idea." said Luxord, interested to find out how things would turn out. He immediately made plans to bring his camera. (Money is the root of all evil. Cameras are branches of the evil tree.)
"I second that!" smiled Axel.
"You just want to see Roxas in swimming trunks." countered Larxene, causing the redhead to blush.
Whilst the group squabbled, Xemnas got up and headed for his quarters. "We meet in three hours in the Moon Pavilion!" he shouted behind him. The Moon Pavilion was a small balcony facing the moon of Kingdom Hearts, which he'd named himself. It was one of Saix's favorite places in the HQ.
"Zexy! I'll help you pack!"
"……get away from me you perverted lecher."
