Title: "They'll Never Know"
Author: Pirate
Turner
Rating: PG
Summary: Emma thinks about what every one
will never know about her.
Disclaimer: Emma "White Queen"
Frost, Sean "Banshee" Cassidy, the Hellions, Generation X,
and all other characters and happenings referred to are © &
TM Marvel comics and are used without permission. Everything else is
© & TM Pirate Turner. The author makes no profit off of this
poem.
I rise, just like I do every morning,
Walk over and look at
myself in the mirror,
Look at the face that I've learned to
loathe.
Women would kill to look like me.
Men would kill to
have a woman like me.
But what they don't see, what they don't
know,
Is what lays beneath these empty eyes of blue.
I feel so old today, just like I do every day,
Only slightly
older just as it is with every new day.
There are no lines showing
on this body,
But I know I am old, old with nothing to show for
it.
They wouldn't believe that, either,
For all they can see
is the outside, what I let them see,
And they would never dream
what truly lies behind
These empty eyes of blue and icy fortress.
I'm so old yet I have nothing to show for it.
They'd laugh at
me for thinking that
For I've done so much.
I've built an
enterprise known around the world.
I've accumulated more money
than most people
Will ever see in their entire life.
I've
taught the younger generation.
I've traveled in the best and worst
of the socialite circles.
I've seen the world, the good and the
bad,
The beautiful and the ugly, the amazing and the frightening.
But what I haven't done, what I haven't seen or even felt,
Those
are the things that are truly important,
Those are the things
that spirit and the heart really need,
Those are the only things
that really matter.
I've never felt true love.
I ruined the
only chance I ever had at it,
And even then, it was with a man
who never loved me.
I've never really accomplished anything good
in my life.
I've never done anything but fail those who were
Foolish enough to trust me -- My students,
My Generation X,
my Hellions.
I've never done the things whose memories
Women cling to in old
age.
I've never felt true love.
I've never heard the words "I
love you".
I've never felt a man's lips on mine because
He
loved me and I he.
I've never lived for the sake of living or for
love,
Always only to survive one day after the next.
And so it has been and so it shall be
Forever until the day I
die.
Even then, they'll never know.
They'll never know that I'm
a failure
At my own life, in my own world.
They'll never know
-- or care --
That true love passed me by.
They'll never know
that
Beneath all this ice
There was always a woman
Who
just wanted to be loved, wanted,
Cared for and about.
They'll
never know,
Because I'll never let them.
The End
