A/N: So I don't know really, but I saw something somewhere, I don't remember where, that songfics are banned on ffnet? Well, I dunno about that, if it really is the case, I'll take it down, but for now here you go.
The song is Tsutaetainda sung by Ryoma's seiyuu Junko Minagawa and I think it perfectly sums up all of Ryoma's emotions towards Fuji ;) I couldn't find the English translation anywhere, so please bear with romaji, which I wrote from hearing, so forgive me any mistakes you find. Also, if you do find any, please let me know, so that I can correct them. Here I give you a link to the video with the song: youtube|dot|com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fK_ufloNXnY
Enjoy!
Kimi ni tsutaetai
Omoi ga afuresou
Rashikunakute terechau kedo
Ima nara ore sunao kamo ne
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I was waiting before the locker room, stepping nervously from one foot to the other. My hands were sweating and even though it was warm and sunny, I felt freezing cold. Something in my stomach kept rolling about, making me want to vomit. I was afraid. Me, Echizen Ryoma, afraid! I would've snorted in disbelief, if my lips weren't so dry I had to lick them every few seconds, and my throat so tight that swallowing became painful. I didn't even want to think what was going on with my eyes and face. I knew I was an open book for everyone to read. Screeching of the door brought me out from my haze.
'Nya, Fujiko, what do you mean you're not coming to the party?!' Kikumaru-senpai's voice hit my ears with too much volume.
'I can't, Eiji, I've got to help Nee-san,' I felt my stomach do another samba, using this silky, smooth voice as the background music. 'She's moving and I have to help her get her things out.'
The two boys came by me and I could only clench my teeth. He was so close I could reach him if I just stretched my arm. Gathering all my courage, I managed to open my mouth and produce a non-embarrassing sound. Congratulations to me!
'Ano…' both heads turned to me, but it was the gaze of these suddenly open cerulean eyes, that made me blush like a hot tomato. I thought I was going to burn in shame for behaving so out of character. 'Can… Can I have a word with you, Fuji-senpai?'
I cursed myself for how meek I sounded. And yeah, obviously, he noticed it too, because his eyes focused on me even more. Why did I have to be so clumsy and just not myself around him? Why?! I wanted to smash my head on the nearest flat surface.
'Sure, Echizen,' he answered and my heart fluttered like a living bird, even though he only agreed to talk to me. 'Go ahead, Eiji, I'll catch up.'
Kotoba ni suru to
Jouzu ni ieanai yo
Doushite konna ni bukiyou
Tenisu no you ni ikanaide
I gulped a breath of air, feeling slight panic at being left alone with him. And then I stared. And nothing. Not even a word came to my mind. I just stared, while he looked at me patiently, but expectantly. Nothing, null, nada, zero. Why couldn't it work like tennis? I would be my cocky, arrogant self and just say it, or even better yet, kiss him and then pretend indifference, while he would try to come to terms with it. I felt lightheaded from all the emotions I tried to suppress.
'I…' I finally managed to find my voice, but I still had no idea what to say, how to phrase it, what am I even doing, oh god, kill me now.
Kimi ga warau kara
Sore dake de ureshikute
Kimi no egao no tame naraba
Nandemo dekiru to
Kokoro kara sou omou yo
I took another deep breath, thankful that he was giving me all the time I needed. And bit by bit I calmed down, remembering every time I realized how much I loved him. Like that time I saw him laughing, truly laughing, not his amused little chuckle, but one from the bottom of his heart, his true laugh. Seeing him like that made me so happy I could die. It was rare for him to be that open in public, but being a witness to such an extraordinary show was my most treasured experience in life. And it showed me how important his happiness was to me, how much I would give to always make him this relaxed and free. I love him.
Or that time when Yuuta was hospitalized because of an accident and we all went to visit him. I could feel his pain, but not through the band aids and stitches, but through the sad, frowning face of his brother. It hit me hard, harder than it should. To lift the mood I said something, I don't even remember what, and then… He smiled. He smiled at me and I knew that he knew what I intended and he was thanking me for it. I wouldn't mind such method of payment for the rest of my life. In that moment I swore to myself that I would do everything in my power to keep this true smile on his face. And I believed, from the bottom of my heart, that I could make it happen. I love him.
Onaji yume wo miyou
Ne, onaji jidai wo kanji wo
Kimi ga iru koto
Sore ga tada
Ureshikute
Kokoro ga atatakaiinda
I remember how happy I was when I entered High School and he still played tennis and was still on the tennis team. Yet again we could aim for Nationals together. Side by side, with the same goal, the same dream set in mind. It warmed my heart to have him so near, to see him every day, to feel the warmth coming from him when we were running laps. I loved it. I love him. And…
Kimi ga ita kara
Koko made korareta no sa
Hitori ja arukenai michi wo
Sono koe ga hikari tousu
If he weren't there through this whole time, I know I couldn't have made it to where I am now. It is thanks to him that I learned the thrill coming from playing tennis. He was the one who showed me this new, colourful world of pleasure I would never dare to dream of. His voice was the one to bring me back from so many hardships. He didn't have to do anything at all and my stubborn mind kept replaying the words he said to me over and over again. Even my conscience talked to me in his voice. Every dark alley I came about, his was the voice that led me through it and kept me alive. What else could it be other than love? Was it not obvious enough?
Keshite nakasenai
Sore dake wa yakusoku sa
Kimi ga nozonda koto naraba
Ore ga kanaetai
Kanaete ageru yo kitto
Many times I was devastated. After a lost match mostly. It was his voice, my conscience, that told me not to cry. Never to cry. And I promised to myself, to him, I wouldn't. No matter how costly that loss was, crying would solve nothing.
There was also a time when we were a lot closer than the rest of the team, me and him. It was nothing more than a few study sessions and a few matches on weekends, but for me it was a paradise I would not trade for anything in the world. Literally, I would do everything for him, just to be near him, see him smile and be himself. I would make his every wish come true, if it only was in my power. Because this is what I feel. I love him.
'Na, Echizen,' his voice was like a morning breeze on my cheeks, like a beautiful song of the summer birds, like a murmur of rain on the soft leaves. 'What did you want to talk about?'
Onaji sora wo miyou
Ne, onaji kisetsu wo kanji wo
Kimi to iru koto
Sore ga tada
Ureshikute
Dakishimete shimai sou sa
I didn't answer, because I couldn't. I got lost in his cerulean eyes, feeling giddy with happiness. We were both here, under the same sky, watching the puffy clouds pass by. Sakura petals were scattered here and there, and the sweet smell coming from them was like an euphoria. I was so happy. So happy! It was unbelievably hard to suppress the urge to just glomp him and hold him close, never letting go. I couldn't do it. Not yet, at least. Or if ever…
Onaji kaze no naka de
Ne, onaji jidai wo ikiyou
Tashikani koko ni kimi ga iru
Itoshikute
Ryuu to dakishimetai nando demo tsutaetai wo sa
Ite kurete arigatou
A sudden gust of wind came down, ruffling our hair and I couldn't help but notice how his longish brown locks fluttered around his face. He is so perfect… He almost looked like an angel from high heavens, sent here to make weak, plain mortals, like me, fall madly in love. But he was here. Why didn't even matter. He was here, before me. My beloved. I wanted to embrace him so badly that I had to clench my fists in order not to gather him in my arms. I took a deep breath yet again. How many times I wanted to tell him this, I lost count long ago. But today. Right now. I looked him in the eye. Thank you for being here…
'I love you, Fuji-senpai.'
…because I am helplessly in love with you.
So? How was it? Please let me know if there are any mistakes! I love this song and I hope that you liked it too ;) Will be waiting for your reviews~
Oh, and btw, I'll be switching fandoms for a while, which means no PoT fanfiction and more of, dunno, SnK or KnB, or even KHR. Hope you'll stay with me till another one of my PoT phases comes ;*
