CHAPTER 1
Romilda: Helloooo there dear! I'm Romilda Vane. But of course, you already know that. Everyone knows about me. And they have good reason to. I'm the hottest girl in Hogwarts, of course. I have like the prettiest shade of hair. It's like dark maple syrup. Totally sexy, right? My eyes are like, sky blue and I have a curvaceous, but prominent chin. I like, totally don't even know what that means. And I have a great body. So like, Every guy that sets eyes on me wants me. In fact, there's the funniest story about these two fellows I met at Hogsmeade last week…
Two hours later…
…And then I was like "Ooooh boys…don't fret. I know how to solve this! I can snog both of you! One at a time!" They were mad at me for some reason or the other, and then I drank some firewhisky at the pub with them. Like, then I don't remember what happened after that. Except I woke up on a broomstick, with like….no pants, and then -
(A gaggle of girls come up behind Romilda)
Romilda: Hey, girls! Oh, I should probably introduce you, shouldn't I?? Okay, these are like, my best friends. This is Violet.
Violet: Quiet! I'm studying for my N.E.W.T. exam.
You: Um…isn't that three years from now?
Violet: It is always best to be prepared at the earlies-
Romilda: Yeah, we like get it. Anyway, this is like, Rose.
(Rose glares at you)
You: Rose…erm…nice to meet you. I think.
Rose: DAMMIT, shut the hell up before I shove this dog collar down your throat!!
Romilda: Oh, don't let Rose bother you. She does that to everyone. It's actually kind of, like annoying. Moving on….This is like, Tulip.
Tulip: Hi! I'm Tulip, and Rose is my lover - COUGH erm COUGH I mean….my best friend.
(Rose flips her off)
Rose: Stupid lesbian…
You (to Tulip): Are you suuuure that you're straight?
Tulip: WHAT?! Of course I'm straight!! How could you even suggest some-
Romilda: Yeah, hun. She's lezzy. Let's see…you've met Violet, Rose, Tulip…ah, ok this is -
You: Umm...let me guess. Geranium?
Romilda: OMG, how did you know?!
Geranium: Man, I'm getting psychic karma from you, dude.
You: Uhhh…look, it was nice to meet you, but I gotta go.
Romilda: Oh, darling! You can't leave now!! Where are you going??
You: I have to…I have to…
Violet: Study?
Rose: Cut yourself?
Tulip: Shag Rose? I mean – ER – not that I'd do that.
Geranium: Meditate?
You: Yeah…I have to, uh, study the art of cutting myself, while meditating. See you guys tomorrow!!
(you run away)
Tulip: What about Rooooooooose??
Soooo….what will happen?
Kudos to RadicalReason for the life of the story! She's amazing! She helped me think of the "Romilda Vain" thing, and helped me find my characters' inner personality! THANK YOU! ILY 3
If you have not already read R's amazing story, DO IT!! NOW!! It's called "Eloise Midgen and the Yule Ball"
Thanks you, also, to sporkalicious285 (not a fanfiction account) for helping me with Tulip, the lezzy
THE END…?
