- ectoBiologist[EB]started pestering turntechGodhead[TG] -
EB: hey dave!
TG: sup egbert
EB: the sky :B
TG: wow i have been wounded by the amount of nerd in that comment
TG: better call an ambulance john
TG: i can slowly feel my coolness slipping away
TG: tell my swag i love it
EB: wow. i'm rolling my eyes so hard right here dave.
EB: i think i can see into my skull
TG: well at least now you can see if you have a brain back there
TG: (the answer is no)
EB: wow dave, you are such a great boyfriend. the best. i am soooooooo feeling the love right now, you dork.
TG: firstly dont do the eight thing
TG: secondly 3~
EB: 3
EB: whaaaaaaaat eiiiiiiiight thiiiiiiiing
TG: i will seriously break up with you this minute dude
TG: youve been spending too much time around tz's gal
EB: vriska's cool though!
TG: cool and cray john dont forget the cray no matter how cool she can be
EB: *rolls eyes* anyways, my school's prom is coming up this weekend!
TG: really dude
TG: when
TG: mines not for a couple months
EB: well, today's thursday and the prom's saturday!
TG: oh cool
TG: now i know which day to mark down in my calendar of you cheating on me
EB: cheating? what dude, I'm not cheating on you!
TG: no not currently
TG: but just imagine it
TG: its prom night
TG: youre more alone than fans of m night shamalaymama
TG: whatever the fuck his last name is
EB: dave...
TG: shoosh pap egbert im not finished yet
TG: then you see the person
TG: guy/girl idgaf
TG: all i know is that theyre beautiful single and ready to do some not so christian mingling
EB: oh god dave
TG: they saunter up to you
TG: you have a moment of weakness
TG: next thing you know youre waking up next to this person
TG: with a hangover from whatever gets put in your punch
EB: dave!
TG: hey im not even gonna be mad
TG: i understand we havent even meet in the flesh yet
TG: ill be fine as so long as you purge yourself and come crawling back to me on your hands and knees
TG: all like 'forgive me dave for i have sinned'
TG: and ima be like 'sure whatevs as long as you complete this list of tasks like flying and smashing enemies with this wicked rad legendary hammer'
TG: itd be like thor meets hercules
TG: thorcules
TG: i hereby name you thorcules egderp
TG: look at that majestic fucking name with awe
EB: jeez dave, ramble much?
EB: i was going to say that i'm probably not even gonna be going to the prom in the first place!
TG: wait what
EB: i see no point. the only date i'd ever want is this totally socially awkward dork, who rambles, thinks he's cool, has a fuckton of freckles, and thinks he can rap
EB: (he can't)
TG: wow i dont know whether to be offended or not
TG: ill settle for fuck you john 3
EB: hehehe 3
TG: but john you shouldnt use the term 'fuckton' lightly
TG: fuckton is the title of all forbidden children between skeletons and fuckboys in the skeleton war
EB: oh my god
TG: you can call me dave
TG: but no seriously egbert
TG: you actually not going to your prom
EB: nah, i'll probably put on my tux, and we can have a shitty skype prom!
EB: with netflix and doritos
TG: swoon egbert you sure know the way to a girls heart
EB: hehehe
TG: anyways sorry but this plush rumps gotta get off of pchum
TG: d's back for a bit and i was promised a tag team roof strife
EB: i see, i'm chopped liver compared to strifing huh
TG: hell yes sorry bro youre just my side ho
TG: my number one side ho though feel special
EB: *swoon*
TG: but yea talk to you later john
EB: okay! but you better be here for our shitty prom in your best tux
TG: nerd 3
EB: dork 3
- turntechGodhead [TG] has stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -
=== Fast Forward
It was now Saturday night, and John was fixing the tie on his three-part tux- black jacket with a yellow waistcoat, and blue button up with matching tie- , waiting a bit nervously for Dave to get on. It was totally plausible that he was running late! He had mentioned something about a road trip- presumably to drop D to the airport- but he had promised to be there for their shitty Skype prom! Feeling ansty, John decided to go check up on Casey, his and Rose's shared salamander. Rose had come down once with her family, and a walk in the pet store ended up with them sharing parentage of Casey- or as Rose calls here Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer. Since Rose lives up in Texas, they split the year in half- Casey stays with John for half, and Viceroy stays with Rose for the other half. Thinking about it, John realizes that it's basically Rose's turn to take care of Vicasey. He groans thinking of all the favours and traveling methods he's gonna have to get together to get his daughter safely to her mother.
Before he could dwell on the costs and such, he hears his father call out to him.
"Coming dad!" With one last anxious look at his laptop, John bounds down the stairs in a hurry, barely touching them, and hoping not to miss Dave's call.
His dad was at the open door, seeming to talk to someone. And was that...romantic dub step?! What?
"Yeah dad you called? I'm kinda waiting on some...thing..." John trailed off to gape at a certain Dave Strider at the door.
"Sup John." Dave says casually with a nod of his head, as if this was perfectly normal. He was wearing a red suit with a black button up and a red tie, and was holding a bouquet of red and blue flowers in his hand. In the background, John can see Bro leaning up against his truck, which was blaring romantic dub step.
John dimly realized that Bro was now in the house talking to him, while Dave snapped his finger in front of John's face.
"I think you broke him, lil man."
"Shut the fu- hell up Bro. Egbert? Earth to derp."
"But..how? You're not. You're in Texas. Skype call. What?!" John tried to explain his confusion, and Dave just laughed.
"Couldn't just let you skip out your prom, now could I Egbert? Be thankful, the drive was hell. That bas-" Dave trailed off, glancing at John's dad, "Bro was blaring the most annoying pop songs every time I tried to fall asleep. Try waking up to Taylor Swift screaming "trouble" in your ear. I can never hear that song the same way." Dave shuddered, before holding out the flowers, "So you gonna take this, or?"
John blushed deeply, before snatching the flowers from Dave's hand with a thank you, and ran up to his room. After looking around, he decided he could just keep them in the glass of water on his dresser. John then quickly looked himself over in his mirror, wishing for once that his untamable hair could be tamed, and started on his way out. As soon as his first foot was out his bedroom door, John turned back in, and took Vicasey in her travel ready cage. If anything, Bro could bring her to Rose when the Strider's drive back.
John then hurried down the steps, tripping a bit on the last step, then handing off the cage to Bro, with instructions on what to do. Bro then tossed Dave his car keys, and ran them out of the house, offhandedly mentioning "a date with Mr. Egbert, Roxanne, and Jayne". Both John and Dave made a face at the info, but hurried out of the house towards the truck.
Dave started the truck, but forced John to switch ties with him "for ironic purposes", before the finally got out of the driveway. The whole way to the prom was passed with laughter, talking, and John's general disbelief that Dave actually came all the way down to Washington for his prom. At one point, John makes a point to poke at Dave's cheek as Dave was talking, as if confirming the reality of the situation. Dave replied with a, "Goddamit Egbert, do that again, poke me again and I swear I will bite off your finger as if I was a shitty blooper scene from Star Wars- all Dave Vader like 'I'm am your boyfriend' and chomp off your digits as you scream 'hells yesssssss'- because seriously? Who wouldn't want me for a boyfriend?-, and then I will turn the truck the fuck around and drive you back to your house, where you will wish to slowly bleed out from your missing finger gaps as you are forced to fifth wheel your dad, Bro, and the other two elder flighty broads on their shared date. Do you understand me, John?"
John, of course, just laughed at the empty threat, and lightly papped Dave across the face teasingly. Dave, then, almost did turn the truck around, but at John's worried apologies, continued on the way to prom with a satisfied smirk. Before long, they had arrived at John's school, and entered the building, Dave holding onto John's hand, and ignoring practically everyone there with his cool kid facade. John just rolled his eyes at him, and dragged him off towards Vriska who was in the corner.
She saw them and waved them over, flipping her blue highlighted blonde hair back with a naturally sinister looking, and spider-esque smile, wearing a deep blue with black tulle underneath, one short-sleeved -showing off both her robotic arm and the various spider-themed, Scorpio, pirate-themed, spiders, and sun (and god knows what else, Dave's positive he one glanced Nick Cage's signature in there) full-arm tattoo on her human arm, because "Serkets don't have time to feel self-conscious"- corset dress, that ended just above her knees, with a bright orange sash, her trademark blue lipstick and eyeliner, spider web stockings, and red, heeled boots.
"Weeeeeeeell, if it isn't Dave Strider! Fancy seeing you here, Texas boy." Vriska said with a smirk, spiderbite piercings glinting with the movement, happily receiving John's hug.
"Hey Vris. Still crazy as ever I see." Dave replies with a tilt of his head, and a fistbump to Vriska's robotic arm.
"Of course Dave, I'm absolutely flaaaaaaaawless as is, why would I ever change! I wish Terezi could see that- but she won't!" Vriska broke out laughing, which John and Dave joined in on, as they knew the blind girl wouldn't be offended- in fact, she would probably be dying with laughter as well.
"Well, you boys clean up nice, surprisingly. Maybe it's only for each other, hmmm? Don't think I'm like the other idiots, and didn't notice the absolutely adoooooooorable tie switch. Awwwwwwww, you two are like cute little baaaaaaaabies! Your first date, and already pulling out the sap. What, did Dave drive allllllll the way here, and show up at your house with flowers, or some shit?" Vriska teased, looking them over with her visible eye- the other covered by a darkened glasses lens which had seven red dots on it, that she drew on herself, after the accident that lost the eye (the only complaint she has about it is the wish that she didn't need glasses to see originally, or else she'd just wear an eye patch like a pirate). Her smile grew wider as, instead of denying it, the boys just grew red.
"Awwwwwwww, he diiiiiiiid! You two are so cute, it's sickening. I'm going to get cavities, cuz of the both of you, I swear it. Don't worry, I'll send my moms with the bills." Vriska continued to tease.
"Oh hell no, you are not sicking Spidermom or Snowman on me. You get your personality from them, by the way, cool and totally cray. Where's Terezi when you need her." Dave replied, looking around in hopes of spotting the blind girl.
"Why, thaaaaaaaank you Daaaaaaaave, it's always a compliment to hear I'm like them- OOOOOOOOW!" Whatever Vriska was going to say was cut off by a red and white dragon-themed cane slamming into her shin. A cackle was heard in response to the aggravated shriek of annoyance more than pain.
"I heard Doctor Cherry Koolaid was calling for justice?" Terezi said smiling her dragon-like smile, red glasses firmly in place as she carelessly tossed her rainbow streaked hair out of her face. She was wearing a bright red, above the knee, halter dress - the halter part in teal, looking ironically like the Libra sign, Dave notes absentmindedly, Terezi's zodiac which she adores as it stands for justice-, with a teal sash and teal leggings that had silvery dragons on them. She also had on bright red lipstick, showed off her upper arm red and blue dragons surrounding a libra sign on a scale tattoo with pride, and to top it all of, red dragon-themed crocks.
"Good to see you TZ, your timing is perfect, while your shoes- while hella- are not. Just imagine the seizures Kanaya and Porrim would have of they saw you like this." Dave said as he fistbumped Terezi after John hugged her.
"Their seizures won't have aaaaaaaanything on my revenge for hitting my with that fucking stick again, scourge girlfriend or not, I wiiiiiiiill play connect the dots with your fucking freckles, doooooooon't tempt me." Vriska cut in, forgoing pretending to be in any pain, as she knew it wouldn't work.
As a natural redhead, Terezi's face was full of freckles, but she just stick her tongue out at Vriska and replied, "Bluh, Bluh, Bluh, huge bitch. Leave poor Cherry Koolaid and Blueberry Breeze alone, and come dance with me!" Terezi grasped Vriska's hand, her red with teal tipped nails contrasting greatly with Vriska's eight ball themed nails, and dragged her to the dance floor.
"Dance with a blind girl. Noooooooothing at aaaaaaaall could go wrong." Vriska rolled her visible eye sarcastically, but smiled and allowed herself to be dragged along.
"Bluh Bluh, as if you're not half blind yourself Blue Raspberry- or should I say 'Bluh Raspberry'?" Terezi cackled over Vriska's groans, and shouted to the boys, "Justice has prevailed, and the innocents are saved. Run while you can!"
Dave and John took no time in following her orders, hightailing it to the other end of the dance floor. As a song began to play, Dave bowed to John and asked, "May I have this dance, m'lady?" John just cracked up in a snorting laugh, and pushed Dave away, resulting in Dave laughing as well. After they had calmed down though, they actually did dance pretty much the night away. They took some prom pictures of course- some sweet, some ironic, some with friends- and before they knew it, it was midnight. In fact, they probably would've kept dancing, except John was tripping and falling asleep on his feet.
Dave made a joke about him being drunk- except no one had actually spiked the punch to Dave's dismay, and he made a passing comment on how Roxy's prom back in Texas was said to be such a drunken hot mess that it was legendary, and that John's prom was so weak compared to the stories Dave heard from Dirk and Roxy about that prom night- to which John gave an exaggerated eye roll and sigh.
In the end, John's tiredness ended up in his receiving a "patented Strider piggyback", all the way back to the car. He, of course, was fast asleep on the ride home, and received another piggyback up into his room where Dave had decided to crash for the night. As both boys fell into their shared bed, arms wrapped around each other, they refused to think about the next day which would be filled with heartfelt goodbyes,and instead looked back on their prom which would never be forgotten.
"What can I say?" Was John's last fading thought as he succumbed to sleep, "my Washington wish came true."
