Authors Note: This fanfic is for my bestfriend Jessie, her birthday is coming up, and this is my gift to her. Love you jess. 3

I will try and update this Phanfic at least once a week, more or less, I'm busy, and writers block is a bitch. But, I don't think I will abandon this one, I will keep going! I hope…But anyway; enjoy.

"Goodbye internet." The camera light turned black and Dan Howell's smile faded, he yawned, rubbing his tired eyes and looked at the time on his laptops clock, four thirty in the morning. He grabbed his camera and turned to his laptop once again, plugging the cords into the right spots to start uploading the video for editing. Dan set his elbows on his desk and looked down, putting his face in one hand and running his other hand through his own hair, closing his bloodshot eyes (he'd have to photoshop them in the video so they didn't look so red when he posted it) he sighed loudly, fighting to stay awake, he hadn't been sleeping well, not since the news about Phil, Phil was his best friend, they had known each other for what seemed like forever, they lived together and they made youtube videos together, Daniel was 26 now and still making youtube videos for a living. Phil made them on occasion but not as often as he'd like, and he had a good reason as to why he wasn't making video anymore, a very good reason. Dan looked at his laptop where the video was now uploading to be edited. 100% uploaded flashed up on the screen and Dan clicked on it, and his unedited video started to play

"Hello Internet, as you know; Phil has a girlfriend." He smiled at the camera and laughed a bit "They've been dating five years now." He looked happily at the camera, a wide grin spreading across his face. "And Phil has just given me the news, that…" He paused for dramatic effect "They're getting married!" He said, throwing his hands up into the air. He would add cheering sound effects in later when he edited. "Phil talked to me about last week about it, and tonight he finally popped the question, and she said yes!" He nodded slowly, still grinning. "I would just like to say congratulations to my best friend, if you'd like to send them well wishes, go ahead and email them at this address." He would edit the address there later "And that's all I wanted to say Internet, other than-." A small smirk crept on his lips "-I'm going to be best man." He laughed, seeming overjoyed. "That's all!" He was still smiling widely at the camera "Goodbye Internet."

The video went blank, and here he was, no longer smiling, the joy that had possessed him was gone, because that joy had been completely unreal, he was glad he was somewhat an actor, because that whole scene looked pretty real to him, although it was completely fake. He was not happy about this, he wasn't happy about his best friend getting married, he wasn't happy about Phil's girlfriend soon to be wife, he was not happy about anything at all. He wasn't sure when he had realized it, but it was a few years ago, when suddenly something clicked; he just looked at Phil and suddenly a warmth had filled his whole being, he had suddenly gotten very hot and very cold at the same time, happy and sad, crushed and lifted and his insides had squirmed, he wasn't sure what I had been; maybe the lighting that bounced off his face and made the pale skin look so beautiful and had put him in a new perspective, or maybe just the pure joy that had been on Phil's face when he spoke of his first date with his new girlfriend that was now going to be his wife, and the jealously that had filled Dan's whole person as he desperately wished that it had been Phil talking about him. Whatever it was, Dan had been in love with this man child for years now, he guessed he had been falling in love with him for years before that, but it only came to him when he spoke of his date, because Dan had wished that it was him Phil was talking about, Phil's face had looked so joy filled, and so happy. Dan just wished he could have made Phil look like that, wished it could have been him that had made Phil's eyes sparkle, he just wished so much that he could have just told Phil then, told him how he felt, now it was too late, and Phil was getting married, and Dan was going to be his best man, he didn't want to, no, no. He did, he was Phil's best friend and he wanted to be there for him on his big day, but this was just not the position he wanted to be in on that day. He wanted to be next to him when he said "I do." Not to the side with a fake smile as he watched his best friend marry a woman, marry someone that wasn't him.

"D-Dan." A voice said quietly, Dan looked up with a start, he had almost fallen asleep while thinking about what was happening, in his doorway was Phil in his pajamas, they were dinosaur onesies, god he was such a dork. But it was so adorable.
"You woke me up." Dan said, trying to sound angry; but he failed; he was too upset and too tired to manage anything to fierce. "Yeah…I'm sorry, I just-." Phil looked down shuffling his feet "Dan, I'm really nervous. I'm getting married, Dan, actually getting married, and I'm moving in with her, and I just-." Phil said cutting off his own words, he was visibly shaking with nerves. Dan had almost forgotten, on Saturday Phil would be moving out of their flat, and moving in his fiancé.

"-And besides, you were asleep with your head on the desk, I didn't think you would be too angry if I woke you up, you need to move to your bed."

Dan smirked and stood up, his legs felt so weak with fatigue that he had trouble standing.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." He said quietly "Hmm…Do you…want to talk?" He asked, he was good with the whole 'touchy feely girl talk' thing, but he would try, for Phil. Phil shook his head slowly and then sighed "No, I don't want to talk, I kind of just want to hang out, I need to take my mind off things."

Dan nodded his head slowly "Okay, we can hang out, we could go do something, or just play video games and drink." He offered, and Phil smiled shakily "Could we do both, maybe?" He said hopefully with a small playful glint in his eyes, god he looked so happy, like a child playing with a small dog, Dan was the dog. Dan's insides squirmed with pain and he nodded rolling his eyes "Fine, we'll call it girls night." Dan said with a smirk, Phil laughed a little and shook his head "Thanks Dan, now get some sleep, you look like crap." He teased, Dan nodded lying down; he was tired as hell and he was sure he looked like it too "Thanks, Phil. You look like roses yourself." He said, he made it sound sarcastic but it was truth, the dark haired man looked like the fucking sun. "But- Same goes for you, Phil. Go get some sleep. And wake me up around noon, okay?" Dan requested, he had been sleeping through his alarm lately, he guessed his brain was trying to get him to sleep as much as possible, because when he was sleeping he wasn't aching with pain. "Right, night…Or, morning." Phil said with a small giggle. Dan waved sleepily and before he could even wait for Phil to respond, he was already asleep.