This was precisely why Bella Swan was stuck. Trapped in an amber gaze. She couldn't look away from those mesmerizing eyes, the pools of smooth warmth made harsh and cold by their hardness. They seemingly swirled around and around, mixing around like wet sand in the ocean. Tortured, restrained, with darkness slowly creeping in on the edges. Those eyes became blacker and blacker, darker that midnight. She couldn't tell where the irises began and where the pupils were hidden inside them.
Edward Cullen was indeed a mystery. And Bella was determined to get to the bottom of it. She wondered why he seemed so removed from the rest of the world. He moved so unnaturally gracefully, it was like all others were beneath him.
But most importantly, his eyes. What was trapped behind them that it would need such a untouchable, beautiful lure? It was the perfect trap, and one that Bella found herself falling for, albeit unwillingly.
Edward was a statue, pale and perfectly chiseled. Heartless and cold like marble. He couldn't be human. But he had to be. Nobody really believed any fairytales anymore, did they? Not even a mere campfire story. And that is where the problem began. If a tree falls in the forest yet nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? Surely. Surely not. It is impossible to be moved from a general opinion when it is all you think you are sure about.
Humans choose not to believe in magic or fairies or werewolves. It will be their downfall when they are proven wrong. When vampires are overcome by bloodlust and forget their morals. When they emerge from their carefully crafted disguises. When they begin to kill the innocent. The humans will be trapped like an insect in amber, unable to escape.
But that is all the future. It is not the story. The tale all began the day that a girl thought to think. To puzzle out the unnatural. To say ignorance is bliss is correct. She would soon be confronted by a side to the one with the amber eyes the public never saw. One with eyes turned redder by blood. Not full satiation, mind you. The vision isn't clear, but that much is sure. She would be overcome by fear as he walked hungrily towards her, slowly, surely. Hunting.
The day she looked into those eyes. The time the lights went out and the film played. The electricity between them. It all led up to this blurry hazy future, easily altered by any one word, choice, change.
And then his lips were on hers. Too cold. Like ice. The buzz between them was connected through their joined lips. His pale arms encircled her warm body. His frigid tongue slipped between her lips. Bella hissed around it. The temperature was too much, but she needed more. The pulled closer, bringing her warm body flush against his.
She didn't notice that Edward was overcome by the sweet scent of her blood, that his eyes had blackened and he had frozen. She didn't even have the time to scream as his lips drifted lower and his sharp fangs punctured the skin on her neck.
Her blood ran throuclgh her veins and then into him. Her face became paler and paler as she lost blood. Faint, she dropped dizzily to the ground. Only then did he stop. Edward watched her prone form, unmoving.
When she finally opened her eyes, they were the same hard amber as his. Her skin never regained its rosy hue. Bella was changed.
This is why I protect her and why I befriend her. It's what the future tells me to do. My visions control my every move but never my thoughts. I will myself to believe that it is wrong, what I'm doing, but Edward would never have enough control to kiss her and abstain from biting her. The future told me that.
So everyday I spend, masquerading as Edward, he as me. He wants her but knows it would kill her, which would kill him. So every kiss from her, every time her tongue delves into my mouth, he reads my thoughts. I tell him not to. It will only increase Edward's longing. But he will never listen to me.
Me, the girl with the visions. The girl who pretends to love Jasper. The unrepentant lesbian. People think I'm strange. And even among freaks, I guess I am. I'm twisted enough to be a boy to get a girl. Even though I know this is sick and that she'll end up with the real version later. But I know my visions don't make me love her. And I know people think I'm crazy because I do. With my whole unbeating heart.
But to me, I'm simply Alice.
I'm simply hopelessly in love with Bella.
Hopelessly wanting affections she only will give to Edward.
She craves his love, his attentions, his kiss.
She'll never know they're mine.
She'll never know that he will be her downfall.
Because she thinks that that she knows Edward.
Bella will never know I love her.
I love her.
Love.
Her.
I do.
And what good are visions if they don't show you a happy ending?
They're the truth.
Too hard.
Too.
Hard.
To.
Bear.
It hurts now.
But.
It.
Will.
Hurt.
Less.
Right?
If only she knew.
If.
Only.
She.
Knew.
If only she loved me.
Love.
Me.
Too.
Goodbye, world.
Goodbye, Bella.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Good.
Go.
No.
One more time.
Before cliff approaches.
I love you Bella.
Goodbye.
I can't die.
But you can.
I.
Will.
Make.
Sure.
You.
Do.
if i cant have you
edward wont either
goodbye bella
always remember
it isnt finished
just yet
like this sentenc
e
i hope vampires go to heaven
im going to try to die
after all its the intent that counts
see you there
angel bella
You are my angel l. Bella, I love-
SPLAT!
Damn. That was a weird dream.
I turn to Jasper in my bed. He's still snoring lightly.
I still love him.
Love.
Him.
I do.
