Title: All Things Unsaid
Author: Rayvin813
Summary: A meeting between John and Elizabeth...but nothing is what it seems. (Part one of six.)
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Spoilers: Adrift/Lifeline.
Rating: PG-13 (to be safe)
Warnings: Brief mention of possible character death/torture. And tissues? Maybe?
All Things Unsaid
She calls his name in his dreams, and he'd even swear that he hears her laughter reverberating through the empty halls of Atlantis while everyone else is sleeping. He can feel her presence next to him as he stands in contemplative silence on the balcony that they'd shared for the last three years, their own sacred place to wind down after the day's events. Somehow, without her, now it doesn't seem so welcoming.
It doesn't surprise him that he hears her voice call out to him in the forest on Kehdal as he secures the perimeter around the small village. He ignores it once, but it comes again, barely louder the second time.
"John? Can you hear me?"
It's faint, like some soft, forbidden caress that comes on the wind, but his ears catch it. He spares a brief moment to glance around his immediate surroundings and finds nothing but trees.
"I knew you could hear me, John," the voice says again, and it sends a shiver up his spine, the same shiver her voice could always elicit from him, no matter how far away. "I'm here with you…"
His eyes narrow as he turns in a circle, his eyes flying wildly in every direction, trying to locate the source of the voice. Where had it come from?!
"Lizbeth?" he ventures, praying that he's not going crazy, that she really is here in the solitude of this place with him. "Where are you?"
He can hear the smile in her answer as her voice caresses his skin, like a cat rubbing over every bare expanse of skin that it could find. He shivers at the effect the voice has on him, and smiles into the emptiness of the forest.
"Right beside you."
He turns to his left, and then to his right. He sees nothing. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he catches a small movement and hefts his P-90 in a single, smooth motion, perfected by years of in-depth firearms training. He's instantly ready to fire his weapon, but he can feel the butterflies beginning in the pit of his stomach.
He watches in amazement as she emerges from the trunk of one of the trees, as if she had been a part of it. She has a glow about her as she shifts shapes, and it almost seems as if there are little pieces of her still clinging to the rough bark of the tree. Those bits of silver and white stretch out behind her as she emerges, and his jaw hangs open as he stares in disbelief at the sight before him.
She is dressed in all white and her hair slightly longer than he remembered. He doesn't try to deny the fact that the smile on her face makes him want to fall to his knees and thank God above for returning her to him. He stumbles forward for a couple of steps before finally just stopping and letting her come to him. He takes in the way her soft brown curls flow over her shoulders and almost touch the tops of her breasts. She doesn't breathe. But then again, she doesn't need to. He can almost hear the nanites humming within her as he reaches out to trace her cheek with one hand, the other letting the P-90 fall back to his side, safety on. She closes her eyes and leans into his touch ever-so-slightly, and John has to fight the instantaneous urge to draw her into a hug.
"Elizabeth?" he asks in a whisper, afraid that his voice would crack if he actually used it. The whisper is almost too soft to hear, but it doesn't matter. She hears him.
"It's me, John. I'm here."
She smiles again and it seems to brighten everything around them. He admits to himself that he's amazed by her. Closing the small space between them, he takes her into his arms in one swift movement and buries his face into her hair. The scent of vanilla and jasmine overwhelm his senses and he smiles into her soft tresses.
"God, Lizbeth, I've missed you…"
He feels her arms tighten around him and can almost see her smile at his comment. "I've missed you, too, John."
He feels her take both of his arms in her hands. He pulls back slowly and gazes up into her green eyes questioningly. "What is it?"
"John, I don't have much time," she tells him hurriedly. "I had to warn you. Something terrible is about to happen and I don't think that I can stop it."
She holds out her hand to him, and in it a small microchip materializes before his eyes. "This was all that I was able to get before they caught me. I don't know..," her voice cracks, and John touches her face softly once again, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I don't know if they'll shut me down or not, so please use this wisely. Plug it into one of the spare ports on the dialing console in the control room and it will give you everything that you'll need to defeat the Asurans: weaknesses, strongholds, everything. It also has everything that you need to recharge the depleted ZPM's or construct new ones. Rodney will understand. Please, John, be careful with this. This may be my last act as your friend."
She glances behind her quickly and then turns wild eyes back to the man before her. He notes the haunted look in her eyes and he feels his stomach lurch.
"Lizbeth, let me help you!" He begs her as he grabs her by the upper arm. "Please!"
She smiles at him sadly. "I know you want to, John. But you can't. No one can help me now. I'm on my own."
His jaw works up and down for a moment, and finally settles in a grimace. He curses her stubbornness and resigns himself to crossing his arms over his chest.
"Please, John, smile for me," she whispers as a single tear falls down her cheek, leaving a glistening trail behind it. She opens her hand once more, and a long-stemmed red flower that slightly resembles a rose materializes in it. She hands the flower to him as several more tears follow the first. As his hand closes around the flower, she slips the microchip into his hand as well. "It was wonderful to see you again. Tell everyone hello for me."
He gives her the briefest of smiles as she glances over her shoulder again.
"I'm sorry. I have to go. Be safe, John," she tells him as she looks at him again, directly in his eyes. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before…I love you, John Sheppard. Save our people!"
He watches as she turns and darts off into the forest, the white gown leaving a slight ghost trail behind her as she moves. She never looks back, and he can feel his eyes welling up with tears. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he breathes out and in slowly. He has to be strong, if only for her.
On the wind, he hears her voice one last time.
"I love you, John Sheppard. Be safe…always."
:x:
John Sheppard wakes with a jolt, and sits straight up in his bunk on Atlantis. His hands fly to his bare chest, and he can feel his heart beating rapidly. He takes several calming, deep breaths. And closes his eyes to try and clear his mind of what had only been a dream.
Faintly, he catches the scent of Jasmine and vanilla wafting from one corner of his room. He gets up from the bed and follows the scent across the room, only to find that, on his dresser, lay the microchip and the exotic rose that his dream-Elizabeth had given him.
It takes all that he has to fight the tears threatening to fall. She had contacted him in his dreams. He takes the rose from the dresser's top and retreats back to his bed where he falls backward onto it, cradling the rose lovingly in his hands. He lies back on his pillows and places the rose over his chest, breathing in its sweet perfume.
John Sheppard hadn't cried since he was seven. His father had beaten him for showing weakness, so he'd vowed to never cry again. He was not a weak man. The only other time he'd come close to crying was when Nancy had left him, but the tears had never found their way out. Now, however, they seemed to know every route on the map of his face as they trickled down in all different directions. He closed his eyes tightly and just let them fall.
He cried for himself. He cried for everyone that he'd never allowed himself to cry for. He cried for the city of Atlantis and all of its crew. But most of all, he cried for the one woman that he'd held back from; the one woman that he hadn't been able to keep out of his heart and his mind. He cried in his regret for not telling her how he really felt about her.
He cried because she had found the courage to tell him.
"Elizabeth"" he sobbed into his empty room, not caring that she couldn't hear him. "I'm so sorry. I love you, Lizbeth…more than life. Always."
As he continued to cry and repeat his deepest secret to the silence of a room that he thought no one could penetrate, several thousand light years away, Elizabeth, strapped to a table, could hear him. She had always been able to hear him, even when he thought she couldn't. Despite her situation, despite everything she knew that she was about to go through, she smiled.
She smiled.
And it was just for him.
