Ana POV:
"Come on, Ana." Kate whines at me as I dump a bag of chips into the bright red mixing bowl that is usually on the counter filled with fruit, "He probably won't even stay. An hour, maybe two, and then he'll be gone and I can join you and Leila for pillow fights, or practicing making out with each other, or whatever other lesbian fantasies are involved in a sleepover for 23 year olds…"
I glare at her. She's been just as excited about tonight as I have been all week, then one text from her fuck buddy and she's ready to bail. "Kate, we literally never get to see Leila on weekends anymore, and now that she's working, I can't get her on weeknights either. This is it. I'm asking for one god damn night. It's not unreasonable."
"You don't get to see her on weekends because she has a boyfriend who gives her sex. Don't ruin that for her. Don't ruin that for me."
"Elliot is over here like twice a week. You can give up one night, Kate." I say finally, and she lets out a huff of exasperation but she doesn't argue any further. Honestly, I don't understand what has her so stuck on Elliot Grey anyway. Sure, he's hot, from a rich family, and can apparently fuck all night like a wild beast, but he's also a huge asshole. And a whore. Kate's been sleeping with him at least once a week for almost a year now, and try as she may to lock him down, his Instagram is still littered with pictures of him out with other girls with his hands up their skirts or his tongue down their throats. I've literally watched him sit on OUR couch, going through girls on Tinder, swiping right for anyone with their tits hanging out.
Kate walks begrudgingly to the fridge and pulls out a six pack of Diet Coke and then follows me into the living room. As we throw pillows down on the floor and Kate turns on her iPod to play some music, I hear the doorbell and squeal giddily as I run to answer it. I throw open the door and find my very tired looking best friend staring back at me.
"Leila!" I cry, pulling her into a hug. She winces slightly as I squeeze her a little too tight, but when I pull away, she smiles.
"Sorry I'm late. I was at my um… boyfriend's apartment all afternoon and I had to go home to take a shower before I came over."
"I thought you said he had to work today?" I ask, taking her coat and she shrugs as she walks forward and hugs Kate.
"He has some charity thing to go to tonight." She explains. "But he had the afternoon free."
"Charity thing?" Kate asks, intrigued. "So, he's rich?"
"He's… he does all right." She says with a coy smile and Kate's eyes light up.
"All right? Is that why you're wearing the new trench from Burberry's fall line?" She asks, nodding to the jacket in my hands and Leila blushes.
"Why do you assume my boyfriend bought that for me?" She asks. "I have a job… maybe I decided to spoil myself."
"You're a dental hygienist." Kate says, narrowing her eyes. "That's a two thousand dollar coat. There is no way you bought that for yourself."
"We got bonuses last month. I splurged." Leila says. I hang the coat in question on the hook by the door and pull her into the living room with me. I'm ready to pounce on her about this guy she's been seeing for the last few months because her complete radio silence on the subject is bullshit at this point, but she's able to direct the conversation away before I can say anything.
"Speaking of work…" She begins. "My boss was asking about you, Ana. He wanted to know if he could have your number?"
"Aren't dentists like, notoriously depressed?" I ask, sitting down on a pillow and pushing the chips towards her. Leila raises an eyebrow at me, obviously confused, so I continue. "I mean, depression doesn't exactly get my loins burning with excitement."
"Why?" Kate asks, "Maybe he's into the freaky shit."
Leila's cheeks flush and she gives a slightly alarmed look to Kate. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know…" Kate shrugs. "Maybe he'll fuck her in public or ask her to dress up in some pleather outfit and go all dominatrix on him. It's worth finding out. Besides, he's a dentist. At the very least, Ana, you can take solace in knowing that his mouth is clean so when he goes down on you, you won't have to worry about yeast infections."
"Is that a problem you have with Elliot?" I ask, accusatory, but she shakes her head.
"Actually, Elliott doesn't really eat me out." She says, almost forlornly. "I don't know, he's not the most… giving lover I've ever had. But his dick is big, so there's that."
"He doesn't eat pussy?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at her. "Sounds like you got a real winner there, Kate."
"Oh please, like you have room to talk." She shoots back at me. "Do we need to talk about that guy you brought home with you last weekend? He was such a creep I seriously considered calling to have the locks changed."
"Yeah, I was really fucked up when I picked that one…" I admit. "But that's why you never drink and bone. But still, if the Kavanagh scale ranks acceptability of men based on the size of their dicks, then he was… actually, just average."
Kate laughs and then turns to Leila. "How about you, babe? Is this boyfriend of yours packing heat?"
Leila chokes a little on the diet coke she's sipping, and I reach over to pat her back as she tries to catch her breath. "What?" She finally manages.
"This guy that you're dating…" Kate presses her. "How big is his dick?"
"Kate!" Leila exclaims, embarrassed, but Kate's ever insistent gaze doesn't waver. Actually, I'm surprised by Leila's reaction. This is the same girl who used to send us snapchats of her new conquests' penises to brag about what she'd caught and brought home with her. The radio silence we've gotten about this new guy she's with is extremely odd...
"Oh, come on Leila." Kate cajoles her. "I am not missing out on a night of hot sex to sit here and talk with you about anything other than this new guy you're seeing. It's been months and it's time for you to spill the beans. So spill, how big is his cock?"
"It's…" She hesitates, clearly not wanting to answer the question, but Kate stares her down, sitting back and patiently waiting for her answer. "It's big." Leila finally concedes. "It's actually… really big."
"Really?" Kate asks interestedly. "Let me see, give me your phone."
"Sorry, Kate. There's nothing there. He's not exactly a picture sharing kind of guy..."
"What?" Kate snaps, "No, way. There's no way you two only see each other on weekends and aren't sending each other nudes all week. So show me."
"I'm not lying to you. He isn't like the guys we dated in college, Kate. He's a grown up and we have an adult relationship. He doesn't send me trashy 2 AM booty call texts, and he doesn't send me pictures of his dick."
"That sounds boring." Kate says, rolling her eyes, and Leila lets out an exasperated sigh.
"Okay, keep his penis all to yourself." I tell her. "But all this weird secrecy about him is getting out of hand. You've been dating for months and we literally know nothing about him. Not even his name! What does he do? Where did you meet? Does he make you swallow? These are important things we need to know, Leila."
"Ana…" Leila says hesitantly. "He's… He's kind of private. Honestly, we're not even really dating. It's just easier to call him my boyfriend than, I mean, I don't know, whatever we're doing. I don't really want to talk about him."
"Holy shit… Is it someone, like, important?" Kate asks excitedly. "You're making this all seem very scandalous."
"I told you, he does well from himself and because of that he has to be a little private." She says evasively.
"So we would know him if you told us?" I ask.
"Yes." She replies and Kate's eyes widen with the promise of juicy gossip.
"How well known is he?" She asks.
"Very." Leila replies, uncomfortably.
"And he's rich…" I throw out there, pulling what little we know together so hopefully Kate, the reporter and relationship detective extraordinaire, will piece something together.
"Oh, my god… is it Bill Gates?" She guesses.
"He's married." Leila says, narrowing her eyes. "No."
Kate turns a look on me that silently asks for help as I know she begins thinking through the list of Seattle elite. Why she's looking at me, I don't know. This is her world. Unless it's the guy who owns the hardware store down the street from my dad in Montesano, I literally have no idea.
"Who's single?" Kate directs at me when I don't respond to her pointed stare.
"I don't know… What about… wait, isn't Elliot's brother super rich? Christian Grey, right? He owns that big internet company or whatever. What about him?"
"Gay." Kate says dismissively and I watch Leila inhale sharply, clearly not pleased with the "guess my boyfriend" game.
"Maybe an athlete?" I suggest and Kate mulls the idea over in her head before shaking her head and looking suspiciously at Leila.
"I don't think it's an athlete. Why wouldn't she want to brag about that? It's gotta be someone weird… Unless it's a weird athlete. Wait, oh my god! Is it like, Russell Wilson? Please tell me all the jesus crap is a lie and he's secretly into some really kinky shit."
"He's not an athlete." Leila says, "And even if you guessed it, I wouldn't tell you, so can we please move onto something else?"
Kate groans. "Well, whoever he is… he makes you less fun."
Leila picks up one of the couch pillows and throws it at Kate who gives her an indignant look as she spills ice water down her cleavage.
"Bitch!" She exclaims, her voice weak and breathy from the cold as she scrambles to her feet and runs to the kitchen for a towel to dry off. Leila and I laugh at her as she practically leaps over the coffee table and once she's out of sight I turn a more serious look on my friend.
"You're okay though, right?" I ask. "I don't have to be worried about this guy?"
"No, Ana." She says. "I'm fine. In fact, don't say anything to Kate but… I think I'm in love with him."
"In love?" I repeat, shocked, and she nods. This is not the Leila Williams I know. This is not the girl who used to change her phone number every three months to keep guys she'd slept with and then never wanted to see again from calling her. This isn't the girl who went through nearly a fifth of vodka to get through her sister's wedding and then called me, drunk, from the bathroom telling me what bullshit it all was. Love has never been something Leila has aspired to, and now here she was, blushing on the floor of my living room over some guy I knew nothing about.
"Okay, if we're not going to talk about Leila's new boyfriend." Kate announces as she comes back from the kitchen. "We're going to have to settle for the next best thing, which is getting shit faced and talking shit about exes."
She sets the bottle of Grey Goose from the freezer on the table and then hands us each a shot glass. I grab a Diet Coke to use as a chaser but as Kate starts pouring shots, Leila shakes her head.
"I can't guys… I really shouldn't get drunk."
"Fuck that." Kate argues. "You're not going anywhere."
"Yeah, but, still…I don't really drink to excess anymore." She says and I grimace at her, surprised by her choice of words. Drink to excess? Who says that?
"So, just drink a little less than what you consider excessive." Kate says, pushing the shot glass towards her and Leila stares dubiously at it for a moment and then lets out a defeated sigh and picks up the alcohol. We hold our glasses in the air, toast to seven years of friendship and then throw the icy liquid, that still burns, down.
An hour later, we're all trashed. I think Leila forgot about her not drinking to excess rule somewhere around her third or fourth shot and as she throws back shot number eight, she's a bright red, giggling mess.
"Okay, now that you're sufficiently drunk," Kate says, swaying slightly as she slams her shot glass back on the table. "Tell us about your boyfriend."
"I can't, Kate!" Leila says, smiling broadly, but I can hear her resolve wavering in her voice, and if I can hear it, Kate can hear it, and Kate preys on weakness.
"Just, tell us about the sex." She pushes her and, if it's possible, Leila's cheeks flush brighter.
"It's sooooo good." She says. "Seriously, the best I've ever had. What this man can do with his hands, with his tongue… and I wasn't lying before. He has the biggest dick I've ever been with and he knows exactly what to do with it."
"But does he go down on you, because apparently that's a thing some of the people in this room put up with." I say, taunting Kate, who rolls her eyes.
"Sorry, Kate, but Ana's right. You shouldn't put up with that shit. I'm not exactly in control in my new role, but he still goes down on me. And he's fucking incredible at it."
"In control?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean, your new role?"
"I- uh…" Leila stutters, her face going blank, guilty, as though she's realized she's said too much. Both Kate and I stare at her, waiting for her to answer, but she doesn't because her phone begins vibrating furiously on the table. She picks it up and her eyes widen with something close to fear.
"H-hold on." She says weakly, and touches the screen to accept the call and brings her phone to her ear. Kate and I listen intently, holding onto every word.
"Hello." She answers, and then closes her eyes as if she's being yelled at. "Uh… no, I'm-uh, I'm not alone. No. I'm at my friends' house. Anastasia Steele and Katherine Kavanagh. I'm sorry, I didn't think you were available tonight. No, of course not. Yes, I'll be right there. Twenty minutes. I'm sorry."
She hangs up the phone and immediately reaches for her purse and starts dialing again.
"Where are you going?" I demand, reaching out and holding her bag to keep her from getting up.
"I've got to go." She says quickly. "I've got to get over to, uh… my boyfriend's house."
"Uh, I don't think so." Kate argues. "You're in no condition to drive anywhere."
"I"ll get an uber." Leila says but I don't release her.
"Leila, this is girl's night. We've been planning this all week. He's just going to have to deal with that. You can't bail on us."
"I have to, Ana. I'm sorry… Text me later, we'll plan a lunch this week. I promise. I'm sorry, I have to go."
I stare at her, actually shocked as she puts the phone to her ear and hurries away for the front door. When it closes behind her, I turn to look at Kate who is shaking her head in disgust.
"What a fucking bitch." She says. "What kind of girl just bails on her best friends because her boyfriend calls? I'm seriously going to have words with her. That's so rude."
"Should we be worried about the way she was acting when she left? I really don't like that she's being so secretive and the fact that she just got up like that to run off to him because of a twenty second phone call, has me kind of worried. Did you hear her on the phone? She sounded scared."
"What do you think he's like… beating her?" Kate asks.
"I don't know, Kate."
She frowns and some of the anger in her face melts away and is replaced with concern as she considers this. "Well, schedule that lunch with her then. I'll go with you and we can talk to her about it."
"Okay…" I say, sadly. "Do you want watch a movie or something? I got Magic Mike for us tonight."
"Sorry, Ana, but if Leila's gone… I'm calling Elliot." She gets up off the living room floor, taking her phone with her as she disappears towards her bedroom. I sigh and begin picking up the living room, wishing now that I hadn't been drinking so much so I could at least be productive tonight since I now have nothing to do.
I sit on the couch and flip absent mindedly through the TV channels, passing time until I sober up and can hit the job boards once again. I'm not like Kate, who is coasting off her trust fund post graduation, or even Leila, who managed to have a job lined up before she even graduated. I'm stuck in post graduation-no job-student loans impending-don't know what the fuck I'm going to do-hell. I've spent countless hours on the job hunt and the cold hard truth is that my parents were right… English degrees are useless and because I didn't get a teaching certification in college, my job prospects are approximately zero.
I try to push aside the crippling apprehension that has me tied in knots every time I think about it and stare mindlessly at the TV until eventually, Elliot walks through the front door.
"Hey." He says, when he sees me on the couch.
"Hey, Kate's already in her room."
"Great." He says. "You want to join us?"
I roll my eyes. "Oh can I?" I ask, sarcastically and he gives me a salacious kind of grin.
"By all means."
I get up off the couch and stagger towards him, trying to maintain some dignity despite the alcohol still coursing through my system. I stop when I'm standing right in front of him, so close our noses almost touch and he smirks at me as his hand reaches around for my ass.
"Fuck off, Elliot." I say, slapping his hand away and then make my way back down the hall for my room. I close the door behind me, shutting myself away, and when, eventually, I hear Kate screaming down the hall, I turn on some music and get to work searching through job boards.
Per usual, there isn't much here beyond Barista at Starbucks or Receptionist for a bunch of different companies I've never heard of. They pay hardly anything, but honestly, even part-time, minimum wage is better than nothing. I'm lucky that Kate's parents bought this apartment for her and they're letting me live here rent free while my parents are paying for my living expenses… but that can't last forever. Unfortunately, a college degree seems to be hindering me from getting even these low paying jobs. I'm too qualified to work at Starbucks but I don't have the experience needed to get a job in my field.
Essentially, I'm fucked.
I bite the bullet and start applying for everything that's available, taking the time to customize my resume for each posting, until I'm distracted by my phone ringing on the desk next to me. I look down at the screen and see Leila's name and answer it immediately.
"Hey, what's up?" I ask.
"Ana…" She gasps and I can tell just from the way that she says my name that she's crying.
"What happened?" I ask, immediately alert and I listen as she starts sobbing uncontrollably into the phone.
"He left me." She wails. "He kicked me out and he told me he never wants to see me again. He left me, Ana. He's gone. What do I do?"
"Come over here." I tell her and after a few more broken breaths, she agrees. I hang up the phone and stare nervously around the room. Fuck, she just told me a couple hours ago that she was in love with this guy.
I immediately jump into action, running out to the living room and straight to the freezer where I pull out a carton of ice cream and the rest of the vodka. I find tissues, blankets, and a box of cookies, which Kate keeps hidden in the back of the pantry, and then pace impatiently across the living room floor until the doorbell rings.
Leila is a mess when I let her into the apartment. Her hair is stringy, like she was wet or maybe sweating from a strenuous workout, and her face is stark white under the burning red in her tear streaked cheeks.
I lead her over to the couch and hand her a Kleenex, letting her sob into her hands for a moment before I press her for information.
"What happened?"
"I broke the rules." she says quietly and I raise an eyebrow at her in confusion. That was certainly not what I was expecting her to say…
"What do you mean, you broke the rules?" I ask.
"I can't say." She tells me as she takes a deep breath to calm herself and wipes the tears from her eyes.
"Yes you can." I encourage her. "It's okay, Leila. I'm on your side. No matter what."
She shakes her head and then looks back to the hallway, her brow furrowed. "Is Kate with someone?" She asks.
"Yeah, Elliot came over." I tell her and her eyes widen with panic.
"Elliot's here?" She asks, "I can't be here. He can't see me here, he'll tell... I have to go."
"Leila!" I exclaim, reaching out to grab her by the arms and holding her down on the couch. The amount of fear I can hear behind her words is alarming and now I know something is really wrong. I'm not letting her go anywhere.
"He can't see me here, Ana." Leila cries and I grit my teeth, take her by the hand and drag her back to my bedroom with me. She relaxes a little once the door is closed and then sits on my bed and starts crying again.
"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" I demand. "What did you mean by rules?"
"Ana, I can't talk about it." She says, shaking her head and anger flares inside of me.
"Uh-uh, Leila. That's not how this is going to work. He did something to you right? He's hurt you? That's why you're so scared. He hit you, didn't he?"
She looks up at me, her wide brown eyes swimming with tears and her bottom lip trembling. I can tell she's trying to make a decision, warring with herself over what to say or maybe even whether or not to say anything at all. I cross the room and settle down next to her on the bed, taking her hands in mind and forcing her to make eye contact with me.
"Talk to me." I say gently and she inhales sharply through her nose and then swallows back her tears.
"Can you keep a secret?" She asks.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I can't tell you unless I know I can trust you, Anastasia. I've… I've signed an NDA. I'm not supposed to talk to anyone about anything. I can't tell you unless you can keep everything I say in confidence."
"You signed an NDA? Jesus, who the fuck is this guy?"
"Ana…"
"Fine, I won't tell anyone." I snap. "Who the fuck is he?"
"It's Christian Grey." She says quietly. "He's not gay, he's… Ana, I wasn't his girlfriend. Mr. Grey is a BDSM dominant. I've been his submissive for the last three months."
Images from movies and porn that I've seen on the internet immediately flash across my mind. Black latex, handcuffs, floggers, whips, canes… torture. Bile rises up my throat as I imagine the strikingly handsome man who I've seen on Fox Business News and on the covers of Newsweek and Forbes Magazine holding a whip over my best friend and beating her until she begged him to stop with some weird safe word. I know there isn't a lot that Leila isn't into when it comes to sex, and we've joked about this stuff before… but I never imagined she could really be apart of this scene. And to see her so shaken now, I'm terrified that she isn't, that he's forced this on her with promises of money and expensive gifts. Or at the very least, that he's pushed her too far. Hurt her.
"Did he hurt you?" I ask, my voice shaky. She looks away from me and then slowly, she nods her head.
My entire body is seized with rage, blinding murderous rage, so intense I have to get up off the bed.
"Where is he?" I demand. "You will take me to him right now."
"Ana, I can't. Look, I knew what I was getting into. I should have safe worded but tonight he was so… different. I broke the rules, I'm not supposed to get drunk and he was angry with me. He told me he was going to punish me and I expected that. I knew he would, but I didn't know he would... " Her voice cuts off as her tears start again.
I'm shaking as I stare down at her. She looks so frail sitting there shaking on my bed as she recounts what happened.
"When it was over," She continues, "He fucked me. He told me that if I got off he would punish me again, and so I just laid there, bent over the whipping bench, and took it. I thought when it was over, he would forgive me, that we would spend the rest of the weekend together and we would move on. But when he finished, he told me that my contract was terminated and that he didn't want to see me anymore. He told me to get my things, to get of his apartment, and to never to come back. He told me I'm never allowed to contact him again."
"Leila…" I say, concerned as I sit back on the bed and wrap my arms around her, but as I squeeze her against me she lets out a painful whimper and I release her immediately.
"What's wrong?" I ask and she swallows once more.
"It's just… it's still a little raw." She tells me and I feel my face go blank as I remember what she said to me. He fucked her over a whipping bench. Does that mean he whipped her?
"Turn around." I tell her.
"No, I'm okay…" She argues, but her evasion only stokes the anger boiling inside of me.
"Lelia, I'm not going to ask again. Turn the fuck around."
She hesitates for only a second, tears leaking over the brims of her eyes, but eventually, she slowly turns around and I reach for the hem of her shirt. It must be the shock that keeps me from throwing up, or flying into a blinding rage, or breaking down into tears as I pull her shirt over her back and see the handy work of Mr. Christian Grey. Her skin is covered in angry red welts that stretch all the way across her back. I'm not sure what he used to do this to her, but I can tell by the bruising that has already started that he wasn't holding back when he hit her. He was trying to hurt her.
"We need to put something on this." I say quietly, my voice dead again as I stare at the markings covering my best friend like something out of a horror movie.
"No, I'm fine." Leila says.
"No, you're not." I tell her, because she isn't. I can see the damage, she can't, and honestly, I think she might need medical attention. But she's so freaked out right now, I don't know if I could talk her into letting me take her to the hospital. "Take your shirt off and lay down."
She gets up off the bed to do as I ask and so I head into the kitchen for a bowl of warm, soapy water, ice, a few dish towels and the bottle of Ibuprofen. She winces as I gently wash each of the puckered red lines over her back and behind but when I'm finished, she lets me ice down the wounds and takes the painkillers without protest.
"I love him, Ana." She says quietly, as I run my fingers soothingly through her hair. "I'm not ready to let him go, I don't want to let him go. You have to help me think of a way to get him back."
"Are you crazy?" I ask her. "Leila, I'm thinking about calling the police!"
"No!" She cries. "You can't, you promised. You can't tell anyone."
"He can't get away with this. He doesn't get to hurt you like this and then just turn you away and not face any consequences. I'm not going to let that happen."
"You can't tell anyone." She says. "He can sue me, Ana. He could ruin me. He has… he has pictures of me, and I know he'll use them. Promise me, Ana. Promise me you won't tell anyone."
I stare down at her, the fear is back in her eyes again and I realize in this moment what we're really up against. Christian Grey is one of the most powerful men in Seattle. He has more money than the annual GDP of a small country, and the army of lawyers he has behind him would bury us if we tried to get any kind of legal recourse from this. Leila said she signed a contract, and I'm not sure what that entails, but I know it's an obstacle. An obstacle that Grey will probably be able to exploit in his favor. I don't want him to hurt Leila anymore than he already has and she's right. He could ruin her. Blackball her.
"Okay." I assure her. "I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you, Ana." She replies, laying back down on the bed and sniffling slightly as I move the ice on her back.
"He's not going to get away with this though, Leila. I promise you. Somehow, I'm going to find a way to make him pay for this."
