Boring Celebrity Life Zone, Act 1
After the exciting adventures of his youth, Sonic led a celebrity life, but a very boring one. He never cared for showing up to all his interviews and conferences, never liked being dogged by endless amounts of fans. Maybe it was selfish of him, but sometimes he wished Doctor Robotnik would come back and blow up a bunch of stuff with some new horrible monster of legend by his side, just so he would have something to do. Despite Amy's persistence that all of their donations and promotions and such were helping wounded war veterans, abused animals and starving AIDS orphans in Africa, it just wasn't as satisfying as blowing through armies of G.U.N. robots while still finishing his breakfast.
Because yes, he had money, but he usually just let Amy use it for her charity work because he didn't really have much else to do with it. Sonic never dreamed of being rich and famous; such a life was just painfully boring to him. He liked being on the move, but his place in society didn't allow that.
He lived with Amy in Enchantment City, a small, quiet town in Texas where they lived because it was near enough to Houston so that they could get there quickly but well outside of all the hustle and bustle. In his piddling amounts of spare time, he mainly hung out with Tails and listen to him blather on about his new obsession: classic rock bands. Tails seemed to never get tired of talking about the Beatles or Led Zepellin or The Rolling Stones or Rush or Yes or Pink Floyd or the Who or whoever. One day, while Tails was over at Sonic's while and Amy was out grocery shopping, Tails started talking about his newest favorite artist.
"Hey Sonic, have you ever heard of Queen?"
Sonic looked away from the sitcom he was watching and gave Tails a confused look. "Queen Who?"
Tails toppled backwards out of his chair, which fell over, and looked at Sonic from across the living room with a look that suggested that Sonic had just ran over from his place on the couch and punched Tails in the face. "QUEEN WHO? You're just kidding, right?"
Sonic hissed in annoying and took his feet off of the small, brown table in front of him to stamp them onto the floor. He hated being treated like he was missing out on one of the most obvious facts of life. "Tails, if I don't know who someone is, then I don't know who they are. I don't see what's so wrong about that. I bet there are plenty of things that you don't know."
"But Sonic, this is Queen we're talking about!" Tails argued, as he put the chair upright again and straightened the rug it had fallen on. "Everyone knows them! Don't tell me you've never heard Bohemian Rhapsody? Or We Are the Champions? Or Another One Bites the Dust?"
Sonic was about to say that he vaguely remembered hearing something like that on the radio once, but he was rescued from the tiresome conversation by Amy, who had returned form Kroger's with grocery bags spiraling in every direction. She put a few bags on the kitchen table before looking over at Sonic and Tails and yelling, "Come on guys! Help me with the groceries."
"Okay, I'll help you in a second. I'll just go get on my shoes," said Sonic evasively.
"I know very well that you don't ever take off your shoes, Sonic! Quit being lazy and HELP ME!" Amy screeched, annoyed at the guys' unwillingness to help her.
After a few minutes of hauling grocery bags from Amy's car through the cluttered garage, across the dusty patio, into the house and onto the kitchen table by the door, they put every box of Cheez-its and every tub of Blue Bell's ice cream into their place and continued with their lounging around. Except no they didn't, because
"Hey Sonic! They want us up in U of H for biological testing!" Amy said, interrupting Sonic's absorption in a commercial for the generic action show of the month.
Sonic groaned. "Biological testing? That sounds like loads of fun," he said, his voice dull and unexcited.
"Well, it's not like they have that many other mutant hedgehogs to perform tests on," countered Amy.
So they sent Tails home and then drove off. Sonic tried to concentrate on the road rather than dreading the upcoming biological testing as they drove through the Houston suburbs, until suddenly a large, shaggy black dog shot in front of them. Sonic barely avoided them by swerving out the way at the last second.
"Aw, the poor doggy, he doesn't have a collar or anything," Amy cooed. "He must be a stray. What do you say we adopt him, Sonikku? You know I've always wanted a dog."
"We already have a dog," Sonic retorted. "Tails." Proud of himself for his silly little joke, he sniggered heartily, but Amy frowned at him.
"Come on Sonic, where does a stray dog get food? Don't you want to do some good in the world?"
"Well of course I do," he started, agitated. "But it's kind of hard to when you constantly have to show up for your next photo shoot, or when you're being dogged by paparazzi. I mean yeah, yeah, we donate to charity and all of that, but it's just not as satisfying as blowing up Space Colony Ark, or defeating Eggman's mecha and releasing all of the happy little furry animals from their enslavement. I just wish I could do something big! Something heroic! Go on some wild adventure, just like good old times!"
"Well sonic, sometimes I miss the old days too," Amy said soothingly. "But those days are over. Robotnik is dead. We need to adjust to our new life."
"I know, I know." Sonic said, sighing.
The biological testing turned out to be simple DNA test while the Biology professors stood around and babbled about genealogy and ancestors and classes and orders and other things Sonic didn't know or care about. After a few hours, they were turned loose.
As they were pulling out of the university's parking lot, Sonic suddenly had an idea.
"Hey Amy," he said, "why don't we pay old Knuckles a visit?"
"What, you mean we should go to Angel Island?" Amy asked, slightly exasperated.
"No, haven't you heard? He works at the Houston Museum of Natural Science now. The Master Emerald's on display there and he felt the need to join up so he could keep up his guard duties," Sonic explained.
"Oh. Well in that case, let's go!" agreed Amy, as Sonic steered them down Bay Area Blvd.
When they got to the museum, they headed to the Gem Vault at once and found the Master Emerald exhibit. Predictably, Knuckles was standing nearby in his new spiffy security guard outfit.
"Hey Knuckles!" Sonic called, a shadow of his old care-free confidence in his voice. "What's up with you? Still guarding that Master Emerald?"
"Hey Sonic. Hey Amy." Knuckles said, somewhat stiffly. "Long time no see."
"And to you too!" Sonic said. "Why don't we go out to Olive Garden and catch up on the old times?'
"I can't, Sonic," Knuckles explained. "I've got to guard the Master Emerald. What if a thief broke in while I was away?"
"So, haven't changed much, have you?" Sonic said coldly.
"Of course not," replied Knuckles, indifferent. "It's my sworn duty to protect the Master Emerald. You know that."
"Well, it's nice to see you anyway, Knuckles," Amy intervened. "We'll be sure to stop by again later, okay?"
They said their goodbyes and then Sonic and Amy got back in the car and began to drive home.
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised," Sonic remarked as they sped down highway 45. "He never was one for recreation. Does he sleep there at the museum or something? Wouldn't surprise me."
"I guess he doesn't really have any other options," Amy replied. The rest of the trip home passed in silence.
You might be thinking, "why is this under the Adventure genre if there's no adventure?" Well, there will be adventure; this chapter is just an introduction of sorts. Things will pick up soon, I promise.
