Hello there!

I bring to you this funny and bizarre short story, please give it a try and tell me what do you think about it!


GOSSIP BOYS

How come everything around him was weird?

First, Mr. Shue's perfect wedding party had turned out to be Mr. Shue's perfect not wedding party. And Sue Silvester was wearing a bridal dress. And one minute he was dancing and kissing Brittany on the dancefloor and next minute the party had happened and a desperate Quinn was knocking on his door.

"Hi Quinn." He had said. What was she doing her? All Sam wanted was to go back to his bed. Quinn was only trouble.

"Are you alone?" She was wearing the same dress she had wore at the wedding. She hadn't slept. Sam could guess she had spent the night with someone. But, who? He didn't care either. When he said he was alone, she just grabbed him by his shirt and walked straight to his bedroom.

"Are you drunk?" She had to be. She smelled like alcohol mixed with blueberries. Just like the drink he had shared with Brittany at the wedding, just a couple of hours ago. He wanted her to leave, but even though he didn't love her anymore, he had to admit she was hot.

"Shut up and kiss me, truty mouth." She had said. When had she started talking just like Santana?.

"Quinn, you're definitely drunk. I'm with Brittany now"

"I was your girlfriend first. I deserve this" She just answered, looking like a freak and pulling his shirt she have a condom in his hand?It was too much for one morning. He lost his reflex to resist and let himself go.


-So you had sex with her?- Puck asked. They were at a bar, trying to cheer Finn up. He had hooked up with Rachel at the no-wedding party and she had left him withour saying goodbye.

-Yeah, but it was nowhere near the way I imagined it would be.- Sam admited.

-Oh, I know what you mean.- Finn said, speaking for the first time.- We only did it once, and hell she was unbearable. I mean, she told me not to get her pregnant like a thousand times.

-Exactly!- Sam said. – She couldn't stop looking at her belly like she was afraid it would grow within seconds.-

-And she was demanding and wanted more and more and more and.-

-Yeah, exactly. She's hot but having sex with her put me into a lot of pressure.- The blonde guy said.-

-When I slept with her, she couldn't stop talking either. She kept saying that Finn was an asshole and that Rachel was a slut. And she demanded me to tell her how skinny and sexy she was.- Puck said, shaking his head.-

-Dude, he was speaking about Rachel while she was having sex?- Finn asked.- She hated her so much! She wouldn't let me talk to her in the hallways. She's insane- The boys were laughing.

-So I wasn't the only one with a rough time with her?-

-No man, we all suffered Quinn in bed.- Puck affirmed

-And was she overreacting? She was like pretending everything!I slept with girls and noone had ever seemed so bored as her!- "Truty mouth" confessed. –She made me feel I was doing something wrong.-

-Damn, I thought it was my bad! I had just slept with Santana once when we did it, so I supposed it was my lack of experience.- Finn admited.

-When I slept with her- Puck confessed.- All he wanted to caress were my...tits.- The boys laugher went louder. It was so strange!

-Okay so, let's go to the facts- Sam said.- When the boys nodded, he started.

-First, she's obssesed with no getting pregnant.- The three of them agreed, with beers on his hands. The bar was almost full and they were waiting for Blaine, Mike and Artie, since the others were busy.

-Second.- Finn added.- She never seems to be satisfied.- They sighed.- No matter how hard you try, she's always bored.-

-Third.- Puck added.- She likes tits.-

-Hey guys, what are you talking about? Who likes tits?- Blaine asked as he sat next to Puck. Mike sat between him and went to get more beers.

-Quinn- Sam said.- She came to my house looking like a freak and ordered me to hook up with her.

-Oh my God, is that even legal?- Mike said.-

-Oh Sam!- Blaine said- Tell me you didn't. You're with Britts!-

-I did...-

-Have you told her?-

-Well, that's even weirder.-

-Tell us!- The five guys yelled as they started to drink again.


-Hey Britt-

-Wanted to see me, baby?- She said. She looked pretty with no make-up and those pink tight shorts.

As soon as Quinn had left, he had taken a shower and went to see his girl. He felt guilty. And now she was looking at him with those kind eyes, making it even worse.

-I need to tell you something.- She sat straight at the sofa in her living room, looking him with curiosity. – I slept with Quinn.

-Was she good?-She asked. She didn't seem bothered. Or sad. She was just curious.

-I don't think so. In fact, it was awful.-

-That's because I'm the best.- She simply answered.- And now that you've proved it, you don't need to sleep with anybody else. But as I don't know if you are, then I can sleep with another person to compare. Awesome. – She kissed him on the cheek and grabbed his cat.- Lord Tubbington and I always knew you would go and sleep with her. But it was great, because nobody is happy after they sleep with Quinn. She's kind of a bitch. I mean, she's my friend, but she's never been really kind in bed.

-Have you slept with Quinn?- Now Sam was confused.

-No, but Lord Tubbington says that if a girl complains to much and gets pregnant, then she probably won't be good at sex. And he's very right.-

Sam was grateful that his sweet girlfriend wasn't mad at him. She was so crazy. But he loved her. –You are right, baby. You are always right.- She grinned and kiss him.- But don't go sleep with her again. Or anybody. Because now you know I'm the best, you don't have any reasons.

-Of course,sweetie. I promise.-


-So she wasn't mad? Damn I wanna date Brittany!- Puck said.- And she's right, she's so good in bed!-

-He's mine, cowboy, stop it.- Sam answered.

-But Puck has a point there- Artie said.- You know she's great.

-You can bet!-

-Mike? What the fuck? I thought you've only slept with Tina!- Blaine yelled.

-Actually, Britt was my first. We were at a party and it got boring so she took me to her house. It was awesome!- The asian said. Artie looked at him.- It was before you were even with Tina!-

-Thanks for saying that,dude.-Artie answered.- I knew she used to sleep with Santana, but at least she was a girl. I'm glad I got to be his only man...for a while.

-I bet Tina doesn't know about it!- Puck said. It was so fun! That bastard had kept it to himself for a while.

-Well, she never asked...-

-Oh man!- The boys couldn't believe it.- You're a wanker, go get us something to drink.-

-And stop bringing beer, you mamma boys! Get us something strong, dancer.- Puck yelled.

The drinks kept going and secrets kept appearing. About two hours later, they didn't even know what to say. Everyone was drunk there. Even Artie had fell asleep once.

-Well, Kurt and I had sex at a wedding.-

-That's not a secret, we all knew you would!-

-I'm not talking about last night!- Blaine blushed.- Last night we got a room.- He added.

-Well, sure it wasn't Burt and my mom's wedding.- Finn said confidently.- Did you go to another wedding?-

-We actually did.- Blaine drank a little more as he kept talking.- We thought it would be sweet to go to the church and just watch a random couple. But it was so hot there and we found a door open and.

-NO WAY!- Artie screamed.- You had sex in a church. You little creep.-

-I bet all of you have done it in strange places.- Blaine said, deffending himself.- You start, Puckerman.

-A hospital.- He simply said.

-WHAT?-

-I liked a nurse so I followed her to a room with an old man, I told him he was my grandfa and we did it in an empty room.-

-I can't fucking believe you used an old man to get laid- Sam said.

-Who cares, you wanker, it's your turn.-

-Well, once in my hometown, this girl and I...-

-JUST TELL THE PLACE!- They yelled.

-A cinema.-

-Now you Finny boy, we know you're naughty too.- Mike said.

-You know how Rachel is, guys.-

-I WON'T BUY THAT CRAP, HUDSON. SAY IT.-

-The choir room.-

-How many times?-

-15?-

-Damn, I need more drinks.- Sam simply said.

-When you taste the piano, no bed gets better.- Finn admited.- Good old times...- He said to himself. He still fucking missed her and she was there just sleeping with another man in New York.

-All of this started because of Quinn, have you noticed that? If Sam hadn't sleep with her, we would have never known how creeps Finn and Rachel were.- Mike suddenly said.

-Were we talking about Quinn?- Artie asked. He felt the whole world was moving. Too much alcohol...whatever. Like Ke$ha said, he would regret it in the morning.

-Yeah, because she likes tits.- Puck said.-

-Of course she likes tits, that's why she got a room with Santana last night.- Blaine said,thinking everybody knew. But they didn't. Their eyes were open with surprise.

-What the fuck? Are all the hot girls in McKinley going to become lesbian? Not fair!- Sam complained.

-You didn't know? Santana and Quinn spent the whole party drinking and even they danced together the Finchel duet.-

-DON'T SAY FINCHEL!- Finn screamed- We can't be Finchel if she's fucking a bastard!- Was he about to? Yes, he was drunk and crying. –SHE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE.

-Oh man, you made finny cry.- Artie said, hugging his boy.- You are mean, Blaine.-

-But I said it bec-

-BECAUSE YOU ARE MEAN.- Finn said.

-I'm hurt too, Finn! Kurt won't call me or text me or anything. He just slept with me and left the same way Rachel did. We need to stick together!-

-Can't we just sing about it?-

-Don't be fucking gay,Finn!- Puck yelled.- No offenses, Blainy.

-Did he just call me "Blainy"?- But there was no answer because suddenly, they discovered the bar had a stage.

-No way.- Puck said. But yes, his five drunk friends talked to the owner of the bar and started singing a girly song. –Oh fuck, this is going to be a disaster.-

Finn was in the middle of the stage. Sam, Artie, Mike and Blaine were righ behind him.

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Felt like a scene on the cutting room floor
When I let you walk away tonight
Without a word

People was enjoying. But some of them new the group and were recording them. By next Monday everybody at school would now about it. It would be on Youtube. And Finn kept on singing trying not to cry.

I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling, ohh
If you were here right now, I swear,
I'd tell you this

Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all i ever want, it comes right down to you (to you)
I wish that I could find the words to say

Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolableI climb the walls
I can see the edge but I can't take the fall, no.
I've memorized the number
So why can't I make the call?
Maybe 'cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibility

Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I don't want to be like this,I just want to let you know,

Everything that I'm holding,
Is everything I can't let go, can't let go.

Baby I don't want to waste another day

Keeping it inside it's killing me

Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you

I wish that I could find the words to say

Baby I would tell you every time you leave

I'm inconsolable

Don't you know it baby
I don't want to waste another dayI wish that I could find the words to say

Baby I would tell you every time you leave

I'm inconsolable

-WHY DID SHE GO?- Puck knew Finn would cry at the end, but did it have to be in front of the whole bar?

-NO, WHY DID HE GO? HE JUST FUCKED ME AND LEFT. –Blaine? Seriously?-

-AT LEAST YOU HAD SEX WITH HER. I HAD SEX WITH A FREAK – Sam weeped as they tried to step out of the stage.

-I HAD SEX TOO. BUT I HAVE JUST REMEMBERD I DIDN'T WEAR A CONDOM.- Okay, if these wouldn't have been Puck's friends, he would be laughing harder than the whole bar.

-OK, MY EXGIRLFRIEND IS IN LOVE WITH A GAY DUDE. - Puck couldn't take it anymore, why was even Mike crying? But he wasn't the only one losing his patience...

Two girls were sitting next to them.
-You know what? I'm tired of this pity party.- One of them said. She was ginger and tall.
-Lindsay, you don't even know them!- The other replied. Her name was Alison.
-Yes, but I've heard them cry long enough and beer makes me angry.- Lindsay stoop up to face them. She had a glass of beer and she was angry.
-Dude, you're just worse than girls!- She yelled to them, pouring his glass on Finn's face and shirt.- You are a whole lot of little crazy bitches and if you don't shut up and stop crying, I'm gonna kick your asses.-
The guys were shocked and Mike asked
-Where did he come from? - As Artie just managed to say – Are you a lesbian?-
-OH, WHO FUCKING CARES!- Lindsay's anger was getting bigger and bigger.- I came here to try to fuck that girl sitting there, but instead I got to listen your conversation and your singing and crying and is just pathetic. You're man, for God's sake. You like someone? GO GET IT .But stop crying like a bitch.-

-She's so mean.- Blaine said. He hadn't stop crying yet.- You're the worst ginger ever! You are worse than Regina George!- He was hugging Mike as if he was his daddy. The ginger didn't answer him, but she looked to Artie.-And just to you know. I'm bisexual.- Artie couldn't help but smile.- And if the girl you fucked last night is not pregnant, you should call me. I always have condoms on my car.-
-I think I'm in love.- Artie said as she walked away. That girl was hot.

Lindsay, come here you creep!- Alison screamed. She was clearly sober, and definitely ashamed.

-They are worse than girls.- Lindsay said to the blonde.- Now, are you feeling like scissors?-

-FUCK OFF.- Was all the blonde could say.


-Okay that was...- Mike started.

-Weird?- Sam finished.

-And Finn keeps crying...- Puck shaked his head.

-She was so strong! Rachel's so strong! She would be here telling me to stop crying and go get her.-

-So why don't you go?-

-Because she has Brody!- He cried louder. Puck couldn't take it anymore.

-Come here guys, we need to calm down.-

Half an hour later, the guys were outside of the bar. Finn and Blaine were still crying.

Finn was watching Rachel's profile in Facebook on his phone.

-You know what? I'm done crying. I'm gonna go to New York and get MY girfriend back. That ginger might be crazy, but she's so fucking right. I'm gonna kill Brody if I have to. Goodbye, suckers- Finn stood up, trembling all the way.-

-Are we just gonna let him go?- Sam said.- Even if we're drunk, that's evil.

-If we don't, he'll never get her back.- Puck said.- He's an idiot. But if he goes and fights like a prince, Berry's panties will drop and he'll move to New York and have the life we always knew they would.

-Are you sure you're drunk?-

-Artie, I grew up with vodka.

-But what if he actually kills him?-

-Mike, he couldn't kill a fly if he wanted to. He'll just probably kick a table or something.-

-You know him so well...You love him, right?-

-THAT'S SO GAY, ARTIE. Sorry Blaine.-Puck screamed. Sometimes Artie could be really dumb. – He's my best friend. My brother. And damn, I have to admit I really care about Berry. She's hot and she's in love with Finn. If you find love, don't let it go.

-Yeah, he's definitely drunk.- Artie said.

-So you think he'll get her back? Should we go with him?- Mike asked.-

-Dude, last time we tried to help them in New York, she told him she wanted to focus in her career. I'm not helping this time.-

-So right. And Finchel's getting back just because Quinn hooked up with Santana.-

-Those bitchs are trouble.-

-Quinn only had sex with us because she wanted to prove herself she wasn't a lesbian.- Sam finally said.

-Probably. But she is- Puck affirmed- No girl gets bored with Puckerman.

-Probably. Drink for that.-

-If a girl won't come round,

she must be a lesbian-Mike and Artie started singing.

-Oh, come on, shut up.- Blaine said.

-I didn't wear a condom...- Artie was starting again.

-You can't change it now.-

-If i had only wore a condom...-

-STOP IT, Artie! You're such a loser.-

-Are you kidding me? You have a daughter.-

-Okey I'm done with this crap. Let's go and make sure Finn gets to New York.- Sam said.

-Why should we?-

-PUCK, he's so drunk he won't get to his house. Let's get moving, bitches.-

-You know what? We should hang out more often.- Puck said, as he stood up and left the place with his friends. And he would never admit it in public, but they shared a boy hug and got to Finn's house singing a Taylor Swift song.


Funny huh? I hope you enjoy it!

Review and tell me

xx

Mila!