THERE IS A TIME FOR ALL
There isn't a real specific time for this story. Assume that it is before Valentine's Day but that Mark and Elizabeth are together and that Exam room 6 never happened. Carter lives at home with his grandparents and Lucy has an apartment.
Dr. John Carter looks at his watch, 5:30PM. He was so wrapped up in his last patient that he had completely lost track of the time. "Time to go home," he thought to himself as he walked over to the main desk.
"Hey Jerry."
"Hi Carter. How's it going?"
"Great. I'm off and going home," he said, "Oh, I almost forgot about Lucy. Is she still around?"
"Nah. She left about thirty minutes ago. Is it something important?"
"No, I just wanted to see if she had any problems today."
"Actually I think she had a pretty rotten day at the beginning. Some guy came in to get stitches and before she could even start he freaked out and knocked her down. Guy just ran out of the hospital bleeding." Jerry said and went back to his paperwork.
"Was she alright?"
"Oh yeah. Just a little shaken for a bit but she got over it. Strong kid."
Carter smiled to himself as he agreed with Jerry. "Perfect," he thought, "She'll be home then." He turned to walk out of the ER when he ran into an incoming trauma. Literally.
"Damn it Carter. Get the hell out of the way," Malucci shouted a little too late. The incoming trauma was a gunshot wound on a gurney that was bleeding profusely and crashed into Carter's hip.
"Damn it Malucci." Carter shouted back, "Watch where you are driving those things." Malucci shot him a dirty look and continued to push the gurney to the nearest open room. "Damn," Carter said aloud to himself as he looked at his kakhis. Right on the hip there was a massive smear of blood. "And probably a massive bruise under the khaki's," he thought slightly disgusted. Malucci sure could piss him off sometimes. He went to his locker and grabbed a jacket that he hoped would cover the stain. It was long enough to where he wouldn't get odd stares as he walked around Chicago.
It worked out perfectly though he realized when he left the hospital. The weather slightly cool and crisp making the jacket perfect for the evening. His smile returned as he walked towards the Brazos Apartments about six blocks away from the hospital. Across from the Brazos Apartments was a quiet little park with a dozen trees and a couple of park benches and that was his destination for this evening. This would be the ninth day in a row he had come here after and it had started to worry him. "Am I obsessed with her?" he wondered aloud as he walked. Two old ladies looking out of place in running gear in front of him turned around to look at him. Then proceeded to cross to the other side of the street to continue their walk. He sighed and chuckled.
Coming up to the park he could see that it was deserted except for the odd squirrel running around in the trees. He sat on the park bench closest to the sidewalk that faced the apartment complex and counted. Three floors up and fourth window from the left that was hers. Lucy's bedroom.
One large picture window that had been showing him the most beautiful picture in the world for at least a month and a half now. It was the last few nights though that she had forgotten to close her window blinds before changing from her work clothes to her nightgowns. Just thinking about it gave him an involuntary shudder and a slight feeling of arousal. "Don't turn into on of those weird peeping toms," he thought to himself. He was angry with himself for thinking about her in a sexual way. He really didn't want to turn into some sex crazed lunatic. He just enjoyed watching her in her own little world. Normally there wasn't a lot to see, she got home from work, ate dinner, and then went to bed to cuddle up with a book or watch TV. It was beautiful though. Being able to just sit there and spend hours watching her reading or watching her watch TV completely oblivious to the fact that he was sitting outside wishing that he was inside with her. So far he'd been lucky and nobody
had noticed that he sat out there night after night. If he got caught he would be in more trouble than he could stand to think about. He was after all her teacher and she was his student. "I'm the creep in those stupid after school movies," he thought with a sorrow too deep to comprehend. He just wanted to be her friend but he couldn't do it. He tried to talk to her at work but he always froze up or got called away.
Carter's plan was not to just continue to sit outside forever though. Each night he tried to talk himself into going up there and actually talking to her. She wouldn't turn him away he knew, she was too polite. Lucy would probably invite him in and maybe even ask him to join her for dinner. Then they would have a wonderful dinner and spend the rest of the night talking like long lost friends or even better, soul mates. "What's the use?" he asked himself bitterly, "You'll never actually get the courage to go up there and take a chance with her." He sighed and stood up ready to leave when he glanced up to her room for a moment. "What the fuck?" he demanded. There was a guy carrying her into the bedroom that he didn't recognize. He laid her on the bed and shut the blinds.
Stunned Carter sat back down. "Who could that be?" he wondered. She hadn't mentioned anything to him about having a boyfriend and nobody had said anything about it around the ER. He contemplated going back to the hospital to ask Abby about it, being one of her best friends she would know what was going on. It wasn't really any of his business though. Lucy's life away from the hospital was none of his business because he was just her teacher and nothing more. As much as he wanted to be everything to her he had to deal with the fact that he was sitting on a park bench while some other jerk got to make love to her.
The second time he stood up to leave was when the police arrived. A voice in his head screamed at him to run as he watched a second patrol car pull up in front of the apartment complex. Two more fat cops ran into the building. "Lucy!" Cater screamed. Something happened to her. He could feel it. With a sense of dread he looked up to her window in time to see the window shade open and made eye contact with the cop that opened it. He'd been seen. Once again the voice in his head screamed at him to run. To get out of here. Lucy's boyfriend had probably called the cops on him. He had probably seen him just starting at her window and now he was going to be arrested. Run, the voice screamed again. Louder this time. He ran. Just as he saw two cops coming out of the front of the building, he ran. Time stood still though. He was running. The cops were shouting at him to stop. "They're fat," he thought, "I can outrun them." That was his last thought before he was slammed to the ground.
He heard his Miranda rights. "Tell Lucy I'm sorry," he screamed. The handcuffs were snapped on and he could feel the cold metal slicing into his skin. The cops shoved him into the back of a patrol car. Roughly. "Oh God," he prayed for the first time in a long time. "Dear God, I'm sorry for hurting her. I'm sorry for scaring her. I'm sorry." The car started to move and Carter shut his eyes and continued to pray until the car stopped. Fighting back tears he opened his eyes and noticed where he was.
"Why are we at the hospital?" he asks one of the cops in the front seat.
"So she can identify you. You are one seriously one sick fuck," the cop sneered at him.
"Why do we have to do this at the hospital?" Now the entire staff of county would know he had been doing. He was going to be fired. Probably would spend the night in jail. Luckily his family would get him out in no time. Connections through his grandfather. It didn't matter he realized though because he had already lost the thing he cared about most. There was no way she would want to have anything to do with him now.
Once in front of the hospital they had to sit in the patrol car for awhile waiting for an ambulance to unload. That's when he saw it. The blond hair. Being pushed into the hospital on a gurney was a blond. Lucy. A blond with red streaks in her hair. "Why'd she do that to her gorgeous hair?" Carter wondered. Then he realized. Red. Blood. Blood in her blond hair. What the fuck was going on?
"Is that Lucy?" he asked the cop in the front seat again.
Silence.
"Please tell me. Is that Lucy?"
This time the cop turned around. Sweat had caused his red hair to be plastered to his forehead and his brown eyes oozed hate at he stared at Carter. "You bash a little girl in the head with a fucking baseball bat, you piece of shit, and she's going to be hurt."
"No!" Carter screamed. "You think I did that. I would never hurt her."
They didn't listen though. The redheaded one walked around to the back of the car and drug him out. From the loading circle Carter could hear the commotion inside the emergency room. Mark screaming at Jerry asking him what room was open. Kerry running over and asking what happened to her. Mark yelling at Randi to get a 100 cc of something.
Everything stopped when they made their appearance though. A redheaded cop, skinny black cop, and Carter in handcuffs. He could feel everyone's eyes on him and none of them friendly. They could put two and two together. Lucy comes in beat to a pulp and seconds later he comes in wearing handcuffs and escorted by the police. Pain fills his heart again that evening as he wonders how they could ever believe he would do something like that. Especially to her. They had their fights but everyone knew that he cared about her. His moment of self pity was interrupted by Dave yelling at him.
"Fucking A, Carter. How could you do that? What the fuck is the matter with you?" The yelling was followed with Dave knocking him to the floor and punching him in the gut. Strangely enough it wasn't the cops that pulled Malucci off him but Benton. Carter lay on the floor gasping for breath when he looked up and saw him.
"Benton. I didn't hurt her. I would never hurt Lucy."
"I know man. Calm down and we'll figure this out," he says as he helps him off the floor.
Kerry then comes over and takes control of the situation. Barking out orders, "Mark, get her into exam room four, Benton take Malucci outside for some air." She then turns her gaze onto the trio including Carter and the police. "Go into the lounge and wait for me there." She turns and is gone else where making everyone get back to work. The police proceed to escort Carter to the lounge but in reality he escorts them because they don't know where it is. He sits for what seems like an eternity but is only three minutes waiting for someone to come in. His emotions are a mess. Fear and panic overrun his heart.
Kerry and Benton finally enter. Carter jumps up. "How is she? Is she going to be all right? What happened to her?" He demands over and over. Benton sits down and tells Carter to do the same. It is Kerry who finally answers his questions.
"John. She'll be ok. Right now she is unconscious but I think she'll pull through."
Carter sighs and starts to cry from relief. "When I saw them bring her in I thought that she was dead. I saw blood in her hair."
"She's going to make it John." She turned her attention away from him and to the police. "What is going on?"
The black one, Roger, took charge this time. He pulled out a notebook and started to talk. "About forty minutes one of Miss Knights neighbors heard a scream and then a loud clunk. A few minutes later she heard more screaming and called the police. We showed up about ten minutes after that to discover Miss Knight on her bed naked and covered in blood. It appears that her friend here knocked on her door and when she wouldn't open it he kicked it in. He then picked up a bat, hit Miss Knight in the head with it and carried her into her bedroom where he proceeded to rape her."
"No. It wasn't me. I would never do that to Lucy," Carter said, "Benton. Kerry. You have to believe me."
"John. We believe you," Benton said, "But I think that we should listen to what is going on ok?"
Carter nodded and the cop continued. "My partner, Mike, looked out the window and saw Mr. Carter standing outside staring at the window."
"Dr." Benton interrupted.
"What?"
"Carter is a doctor. It's not Mr. Carter it's Dr. Carter," Benton explained.
Both of the police looked at him. "Right. Anyway, OFFICER Mike looked out the window and saw DOCTOR Carter standing there. He thought that maybe he had seen someone or something so we went down to talk to him. He took off running and we took off after him. When we finally got him we saw that he had blood on his pants and he was screaming that he was sorry for hurting Miss Knight. It was an obvious conclusion to come to and we arrested him. We are here because we need the victim to identify him when she wakes up."
Benton nods. "Ok, Carter you give us your side of the story now. What happened?"
"The blood is from a patient here. Malucci ran into me with a gurney on my way out today. I started running because I was afraid that they would think I was a peeping tom or something staring at her window. I don't know why I said I was sorry. I wasn't thinking logically." Carter explained.
And so the interrogation began.
"What were you doing there in the first place?" Mike asked him.
"I heard from Jerry that she had a rough day and I wanted to make sure she was ok." Carter decided that half truths would be best at this point.
"Why would you do that?"
"She's my student and it is my responsibility."
"Why didn't you go inside?"
"Because there were a bunch of cops around. I figured I'd just go inside after you guys left."
"Do cops make you nervous?"
"No."
"Why didn't you go inside then? Why did the cops deter you from going inside?"
"I was afraid that it would appear to be improper if I was asked any questions about why I was there because I'm her teacher and she's my student. I didn't want people to assume anything and have rumors to get started."
"Were you there inappropriately, Carter?" Benton had asked the question. He couldn't get away with half truths with Benson.
"Yes." There he had said it.
"Are you dating Lucy?"
"No, I'm not." He shook his head to emphasize the point.
"Are you sleeping with her?"
"No."
"Carter, you have to be completely honest about this. You realize that they are going to do a rape kit on her and if any of your sperm are present you will be in more trouble than imaginable. If you are holding anything back it will be bad. I know that you didn't hurt her but I also think that you aren't being completely honest with us."
"Lucy and I have never slept together. I was there tonight for the same reason that I've been there every night this past week. I go to hopefully run into her. I go so that if I ever get up the nerve to talk to her I'll be close. I go to see what she is doing and to be close to her."
The silence was almost more than he could handle. Kerry and Benton just sitting there looking at him with looks of complete and utter shock on their faces. The police weren't about to say anything. They could sense that this was something much more complicated than they originally thought.
"Carter," Benson finally asked the question they had all been wondering, "Are you in love with her?"
"Absolutely."
It was at the very moment that he finally admitted how he felt for her that Malucci entered ecstatic. "You guys, she's awake."
Carter couldn't help it. He was so relieved and so happy. "So what if she hates my guts at least she's alive," he thought as he got up.
"Whoa," Roger said restraining him, "Where do you think that you are going?"
"To go see her. To see if she really is ok," he exclaimed. Then he realized his situation. They weren't going to let him see her they thought that he raped her and tried to kill her. There was no way those cops would let him near her. In their opinion he was a threat to her safety. They realization was too much. He started to feel the room spin and remembered nothing else.
Then the light came. The bright light. "Ahh. Where am I?" he asked. Benson was helping him up off the floor.
"You passed out."
"Oh. My head hurts like hell."
"That's not surprising considering you hit the floor with it."
"Can I get some Tylenol or something, please?"
This time Mike answered his questions. "Actually, Dr. Carter we are going to need you to come with us. We need the victim to identify you so you can be booked."
"Lucy, identify me? I don't understand."
"We will ask Miss Knight to tell us whether or not you were her attacker."
"That's great. That's wonderful. Let's go right now. She'll can fix this." Carter left the lounge with the cops following. "Exam room four." He entered the room flanked by the cops and stopped dead when he saw her. "Lucy," he whispered.
He wasn't prepared for what he saw. So much blood still. In her hair and on her face. Stitches running along her hair line for three inches. The entire left side of her face bruised. An IV tube running from her arm to a drip. She opened her eyes at the sound of her name and tried to sit up.
"Dr. Carter," was all that she said.
"Miss Knight. We have a few questions to ask you is that alright?" Mike asked her.
"Yeah. Sure," she replied and paused, "Why are you handcuffed Dr. Carter?"
At this the police did a double take. "What did you ask Miss?" Mike asked.
"Why do you have handcuffs on Dr. Carter?"
"Miss is this the man that attacked you today?"
"Carter? You can't be serious! No. It was some guy that was a patient today. It's not Dr. Carter! Why would you even think that? What is wrong with you?" By now she was screaming and Mark walked in.
"What is going on here?" he demanded.
"Dr. Greene, they think that Dr. Carter hurt me. Can you believe that?" Her voice was going hoarse from the yelling already. So she stopped yelling and began crying. Her eyes focused on Mark. "You knew they thought Dr. Carter did this and you didn't tell them that they were wrong?"
"Shh. Lucy you need to calm down a little. Our first priority was your safety. We figured that everything else would be cleared up when you came to."
She couldn't stop crying though. "Why would anyone think that Dr. Carter would hurt her?" she thought. It was then that she realized how intently Dr. Carter was looking at her.
"How are you, Lucy?" he asked.
"Ok."
"Really. How are you doing?"
"A little scared." A pause. "A lot scared."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head vigorously. "No, I want to forget that it happened."
"Miss, I'm sorry to interrupt," Roger said as he began to undo Carter's handcuffs, "But we have a few questions to ask you."
"Ok."
"Do you feel up to answering them?"
"Only if you apologize to Dr. Carter for suspecting him!"
Roger rolled his eyes. What was this girl's problem. It was a logical conclusion that they reached when they arrested him. Anything to get this job done though.
"Dr. Carter, I am sorry that we had to arrest you."
Carter smiled and winked at Lucy. "Apology accepted. Lucy, you're going to have to work your charm on Malucci next. He gut punched me when he thought I had anything to do with you getting hurt."
"Oh no. I missed all the fun didn't I?"
Carter couldn't believe it. Her spirit didn't seem to be injured at all. She was laughing and joking with him. He was completely amazed at how strong she was. There was so much fear and hurt there too but he could tell that she would be all right because she was still herself.
"I think that maybe you should answer their questions now. The faster that it gets over with the faster they can find that bastard and arrest his ass."
"I agree," Mark intertoned. "Maybe Carter and I should leave for this?"
"No, please don't. Don't leave me alone," she begged as her eyes started to tear. "I don't want to go through this alone."
"I'll stay Lucy." Carter told her and he reached out and took her hand. Mark then left and she squeezed his hand as the questions began.
"Could you tell us what happened please?" Mike asked her.
She nods and pauses. Lucy takes a deep breath and then starts. "I had gotten home from work and was starting dinner when somebody knocked at my door. When I went to answer it, the man on the other side pushed the door in and grabbed the bat that I had sitting beside my door. I tried to run but he grabbed me. I screamed and told him to let go of me but he wouldn't. He told me to shut up but I didn't. I screamed again and then he hit me with the bat."
Another pause. Carter looked over at her to she how she was doing. Her blue eyes were clouded and filled with tears. He gently squeezed her hand.
"I don't remember anything from after he hit me," she finished.
"Ms. Knight, would you be able to identify your attacker?" Mike asked.
"Yeah. Paul Sobricki."
"Is he a friend of yours?"
"Not at all. He was a patient of mine tonight."
"And you are sure that it was him?"
"Yes. How much longer is this going to take? My head hurts."
The cops looked at each other. "I think that we have all the information that we need for now. If we have questions later we will call you."
With that the police left and they were alone. A sudden feeling of guilt washed over at Carter as he sat there studying Lucy's battered face.
"What are you thinking Dr. Carter?" she asks.
"I wish she'd call me John," he thinks but he says, "Mark did an excellent job with your stitches."
The sad look left her face at once and she giggled. "You were not! That is not the `Let me critique Dr. Greene's handiwork' face."
He leans in close to her face and asks, "Oh wasn't it. Since you are such an expert on my facial expressions, what type of face was it then?"
"Hmm. I'm thinking it was a `I'm thinking something really interesting that Lucy would like to know but I'm not going to tell her' face." She smiles at him again. "Admit it. I'm right."
"You are."
"Then what was it you were thinking?"
"Call me John."
It slipped out before he could even realize it. He had broken a boundary. He had gotten too close. It was what he wanted but he knew that he shouldn't have crossed the line. Now they were more than teacher and student, they were friends, now their relationship was more than professional. "Friends. Friends can go places together. I could ask her to a movie as a friend," he thought. "I don't want to be her friend though. I want to be her boyfriend."
Carter had spent so much time sitting and thinking that he hadn't realized Lucy had fallen asleep. Quietly he slipped his hand out of hers and tucked her blankets closer to her. "Lucy, you're a survivor. You are going to be fine," he whispered as he started to leave the room. When he reached the door she stirred slightly and she whispered to him, "Goodnight John. Thank you." He couldn't help but smile at her, "Goodnight Lucy."
Since he had been brought in by the police and his car wasn't at the hospital he decided to call a cab from the ER. By the time that he arrived at his grandparent's house he was so tired he could barely stand. The stress of the day had been too much. John climbed into bed without even changing and was asleep before he knew it.
That night he had horrible dreams. They started off wonderfully. He would walk up to the door of her apartment wearing a tux and knock on her door. Lucy would answer the door wearing only a black silk robe and black heels. They would embrace and close the door behind them as they make their way to the bedroom. Carter carries her to the room and lays her on the bed and slowly starts to untie the belt to her robe. It falls open and he caresses her breasts as she moans at his touch. Then he undresses and begins to make love to her but before he can finish she starts to scream. He asks her what's wrong but she won't quit screaming. He hears a neighbor yell that their going to call the police so he grabs a pillow and covers Lucy's mouth with it to silence her. He holds it there until she stops struggling. John then takes the pillow away and she dead. Her blue eyes staring at him with a look of horror.
Carter sits straight up in bed screaming.
It was 5:30 A.M. and he wasn't on for another four hours but he couldn't get back to sleep. Not after seeing her beautiful face so cold and lifeless. With a sigh Carter decided to get up and go into work anyway. He dragged himself out of bed and to the shower.
As he pulled into the parking lot and shut off the engine of his Jeep, an intense feeling of restlessness came over him. "Oh, shit," he thought to himself as he realized that everyone was probably going to be treating him funny today. "They are probably going to be avoiding me and making me the main topic of gossip in the lounge." True to his expectations, the moment he walking into the door of the ER everyone stopped talking and looked at him before quickly going back to work. He sighed.
"You are in early, Carter," Kerry commented as she looked at the clock.
"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to come in and get some work done."
Kerry's eyebrow raised, "Ok. That's fine," she said as he started to walk off, "By the way, Lucy said that she wants you to come visit her as soon as you get in. I was thinking you'd probably want to do that first."
Carter smiled. "Yeah, I think that's a great idea, I'll go visit her right now."
Elizabeth walked over to Kerry as Carter got on the elevator. "I heard I missed quite an ordeal yesterday."
Kerry sighed. "You were lucky to not be here. It was pandemonium."
Elizabeth nodded, "That exactly what Mark said. I'm surprised Carter would be here today, you'd think he want to take some personal leave until the rumors die down."
"If he didn't show up today then the gossip would be that he was really arrested. I'm glad that he came in today but I think it has to do a lot more with Lucy than with work."
Carter softly knocked on Lucy door and then went inside. She lay asleep with her hair spread out on the pillow like a halo. He walked over and sat down in the chair closest to her bed and looked around the room. Already there were various arrangements of flowers that had been delivered to her, and on that looked like it couldn't have cost less than a hundred dollars. Curiosity got the better of him and he went to see who it was from. Before he got a chance to open the card though, he heard Lucy. "It's from Dave," she said.
"Excuse me?"
"The flowers," she explained as she sat up, "Are from Dave. He brought them by yesterday right after you left."
A million questions entered his head. "Why would Malucci spend so much on flowers for her?" he wondered until he finally realized, "He likes her too." John started to feel jealous. "Wow. That was really nice of Dave," he said from behind a forced smile.
Lucy smiled back at him. "Yeah, I thought so." Carter instantly regretted not bringing her anything. "He also asked me to go get some pizza and movie or something when I feel like it. Isn't that just wonderful?" she gushed. For the second time in two days Carter's world started stopped. It took all the will power he had to not scream. "Damn Malucchi," he thought, "How come he gets the girl?"
"Yeah, hmm, that's really great. So," he paused and with great effort asked the question that he dreaded to hear the answer to, "You like Malucchi?"
Lucy giggled. "Why all the jealousness John?" she asked. With that question Carter stiffened a little bit. He hadn't realized that he was that obvious.
"I don't like him. He's very nice but I'm not interested in him. I just thought that it was nice that a guy would still find me attractive after all that happened." Her voice became a whisper at the end.
Hearing those words broke Carter's heart. He wished that he could just take her in his arms and tell her how attractive he thought that she was. He went over and sat beside the bed and picked up her hand. She was crying softly. "Lucy, you are so pretty. Any man in the world would be lucky to get the chance to be with you," he brushed some of her tears away with his thumb, "Listen to me. What happened to you doesn't change anything. You are still beautiful and smart and cute and funny and sexy."
Another boundary that he shouldn't have crossed. He shouldn't have told her that he thought that she was sexy and he knew it.
Lucy sniffed, "You think I'm all that?" she asked.
He simply nodded.
"Even the sexy bit?"
He blushed but still nodded, "Yeah, even the sexy bit."
"I think that you are blushing John Carter," she teased. Oh, how much he wanted to hug her.
"Hey, I've got to get to work but I'll come back and visit you on my breaks if that is ok."
"I'd like that a lot. It gets lonely up here." John said good-bye and walked to the door.
"John," Lucy said. He turned around and looked at her. "I think that you are sexy too," she said as he blushed and left.
The day passed slowly for John. He spent the day being given dirty looks, being asked inappropriate questions, and being ignored. It was actually a lot better than he thought that it probably would have been. As he entered into the lounge all conversation ceased like it had all day. Elizabeth and Mark stopped talking and watched him, Luka looked away, and Cleo stared at him. Enough was enough, he decided. "What is going on?" he asked, "Why are you treating me like I just shot the Pope." No answer. Anger was building up and he almost exploded, "Why!"
Mark answered him, "Why were you over at Lucy's apartment anyway? There are just too many unanswered questions that cast a suspicious glow on you."
"Mark, I would never hurt her. You have to believe that."
"I know, there a just a lot of unanswered questions and that makes people nervous."
"Questions like what?" John asked.
"Why you were over at you students apartment at night?" Cleo asked.
"It is pretty odd," Mark added.
"People are saying things you know," Cleo continued.
By now John's head was hurting. "Stupid hospital gossip," he thought. "I was over there checking to see if she had a good day. Nothing wrong with that."
Mark shakes his head, "I'm not saying that everyone thinks that you are doing anything wrong I'm just saying that it is odd. You can't even be civil to her here at the hospital but then go and check on her at night."
"What are people saying?" he asked turns and asks Cleo.
Cleo gave him a look, like no matter what he said she wasn't going to believe it, "The things I've heard was that you really did rape Lucy and she's just covering for you because she's pregnant and if she said anything your family won't give her any money for the kid." As she continued talking he started getting really nauseous, "We've also been hearing that you two were having an affair but you walked in on her cheating on you and beat the hell out of her. Or that you were blackmailing her into sleeping with you and she tried to tell you to stop and you got upset with her."
He couldn't take it anymore he had to get away from the rumors and accusations. He took off running to the bathroom but he didn't make it any farther than the hall trash can when he puked. As if it wasn't humiliating enough to throw up in front of the entire ER waiting room but Romano was the one that walked up to him to see if he was ok. "I think these people have gotten enough of a show," Romano said, "Let's get you to the bathroom." Romano walked him to the bathroom where he continued to dry heave into a toilet.
In between heaves Carter tried to explain himself, "I can't believe people are saying such horrible things about me," he paused as he heaved again, "Or about Lucy. Have you heard the rumors? Even if they thought that I was that horrible, how could they think that she was?" He paused to heave again.
"Yeah, I've heard the rumors. I heard them from the hospital director," Romano told him. Carter's stomach turned again and he was back to throwing up. "Luckily, the hospital management is smart enough to figure that you are probably in love with her or something and that's why you were over there last night." More dry heaving. "The circumstances being what they are though, I don't think that anyone would be willing to even question anything concerning Miss. Knight's behavior at this point of time. Too delicate of a situation. Try to not stay in here throwing your guts up all day Carter." With that Romano walked out leaving a stunned Carter being with his head against the stall door. "Romano just gave me the ok to date Lucy," he thought with a mixture of joy and amazement.
The rest of his day was spent taking care of patients and refereeing the internal debate in his mind on if he should ask Lucy out. The pro's were that he would finally get a chance to be with her. To be her boyfriend and to love her without having to keep it a secret. His self-esteem couldn't accept the possibility that she might like him back. She had never given any inclination that she felt anything special towards him. She had said that she thought that he was sexy but that was probably just to tease him. Not to mention that he didn't want to scare her by coming on strong after everything that happened. John decided to take things slow and really just try to be her friend for now and take it from there.
At the end of the day he decided to visit her on his way out. Carter walked into the room quietly, so not to wake her if she was asleep. She was completely under the blankets, curled into a ball, and her could hear her sobbing. He runs over to the bed, sits on the edge, and throws his arms around the crying bundle. She gets startled and starts screaming. "Lucy, shhhhh, it's me Carter. I won't hurt you. Shhh."
At the sound of his voice she stopped screaming and peeked out from under the covers. "John?"
"Yeah, it's just me. I'm not going to hurt you." A few more sniffles came from under the blanket and she laid her head in his lap. A shudder of excitement ran through Carter's body and he did everything he could to make sure that it wouldn't be visible. He adjusted himself and leaned against the wall pulling her up on his chest. She continued to sniffle for a couple more minutes as they sat there with him holding her. "Do you want to talk about it Lucy?"
"No, I want to forget about it."
John realized that she must remember a lot more about the attack than she told the cops. Anger shot through him, "How could someone hurt her?" he asked himself, "I should get her a psychologist to talk to." "I'm going to call Dr. Andrews to come down and talk to you. He's supposed to be very good with rape victims." He started to stand up but Lucy held him down.
"I don't want to talk to anybody about it."
"I think that you'll feel better if you do," he told her, "Who do you want me to get for you to talk to?"
"I'm not talking to anybody."
She was so upset, she had to talk to somebody, John decided. "Can you talk to me?"
Her big blue eyes looked at him and blinked, thinking it over. "Maybe."
"How about I ask you some questions and you just answer what you want to. Can we try that?" Lucy just nodded. "Here goes nothing," John thought as he desperately tried to remember his med school psychiatry. "Let's start off with some easy questions, how do you feel right now?"
"My head hurts." She was being too vague.
"Emotionally how do you feel right now?"
"A little confused and worried." That surprised him, most rape victims answer scared.
"Are you feeling scared?"
She looks up at him again and smiles a little. "Not right now."
"Why not right now?"
"Because I know that you won't let anyone hurt me when you are here with me."
He smiles and pulls her tighter into a hug. "Damn skippy I won't." "I love this woman," he thought. "Why worried and confused?"
"I don't know why this happened to me. I never hurt that guy. I never did anything to him but try to help him." A sigh as she snuggles closer to his chest. "I don't think that guys are going to want be with me anymore after this."
"Oh, Luce, that's not true. What about Dave? He asked you out right after he found out about it. He knows about what happened to you and he still wants to be with you," he said while cursing Dave under his breath.
"Do you think that I should go out with him?"
"Shit," Carter thought. "I don't think that I could answer that for you. That's something you have to decide for yourself," he said. "Please don't go out with Dave," he prayed silently.
"You wouldn't go out with me though. Dave's sometimes desperate. You never are. Someone like you who has their choice of women wouldn't want to date me. What's the terms for it... I'm damaged goods."
"No! That's not true. I would date you Lucy. You aren't damaged goods." She starts crying and his heart makes a decision without consulting his brain. "I want to date you. What are you doing this weekend?"
She laughs at him. "John, that is so sweet but you don't have to do this."
"Please, don't break my heart. I'm serious about this."
A moment passed. "Please," he wispered in her ear, "You have no idea how much you mean to me. Just give me a chance, Luce."
"John, we have done nothing but fight since we've met. I didn't even think that you would be interested in being my friend before yesterday. I don't understand where all this is coming from."
"I'm in love with you." Damn, another boundary. By now it didn't matter. He took a deep breath and everything came out. "I've been in love with you from the moment I saw you. I know that a relationship with you would have been difficult and probably would have gotten us in trouble with the hospital so I kept pushing you away to keep me from getting too close. No matter how much I tried to keep you away I couldn't I wanted you so much."
She doesn't know what to think. "John, I don't know if this is the right time," she says as she tries to pull away.
He doesn't let her though. Carter pulls her even tighter to his chest. "Let me finish at least. This is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do and I just want to get it over with. I love you. There isn't anything to it. I want to be your friend, your boyfriend, your soulmate, your lover." As he said the last word he shifted so she could feel his erection. She looked into his eyes and saw a completely animalistic look in his eyes. It scared her and excited her at the same time. To be loved so much by him was unbelievable. She wanted to be able to tell him that she loved him back but they could lose their jobs and she didn't even know if she was ready for something so serious.
"How do I respond to that? I won't say that a relationship between us is impossible but there are so many things to think about like.." He interrupted her saying, "Think about this," and kissed her. It was a slow and soft. They melted into each others arms, she ran her fingers through his hair pulling his face closer to his, he moved her onto her back being careful to not hurt her scars and bruises. She pulled away from him and bites his ear. He couldn't believe it was really happening. Carter wanted her, to kiss her, to hold her, to hug her, to make love to her. He kisses her again and slips a hand up her nightgown. His hand gently squeezes her breast. As he does that she sits up and screams. "Stop!"
He freezes and pulls away. "I'm sorry. What did I do?" he begs her.
Tears are streaming down her face, "I'm sorry John. Too much too soon." By now two doctors have run into the room, Mark and Benton, stand there staring. They stare at Lucy crying and John looking very mussed sitting on the bed apologizing.
Mark is the first one to say anything, "Carter get the fuck out of here."
Carter looks at him. "It's not like it looks. Give me a chance to explain." Mark glares at him. Carter looks over at Benton pleading for help.
Benton shakes his head, "I think that you had better leave, man."
"Shit. Fine I'm leaving," he says and on the way out pushes over a tray of supplies in a bout of anger. At the door he stops and turns to Lucy, "I love you. I want you to know that." He slams the door behind him on the way out.
Mark goes over to her, "Are you ok?"
She nods. "I love him, too."
Benton and Mark share a look as Benton leaves to go after Carter. He's sitting down in the doctor's lounge staring off in space alone when Benton finds him. He walks over and sits next to him. "Feel like talking?"
"No."
"Feel like listening?"
Carter scowls at him. "I don't really have much of a choice do I?"
"Nope. She loves you Carter."
"No, she doesn't."
"So now you want to talk. Well I don't think that you are done listening yet. Stop being a jackass. She does love you. Mark and I both heard her say it when you left." He sighs. "Now you can talk. Tell me what happened up there."
Carter runs his hand through his hair and sits forward. "I had a chance and I screwed it up. I was up there trying to comfort her because she was upset about everything that happened. She said that nobody would want to date her because of what happened to her and I told her that plenty of people would want to date her." He starts to rub at his temples trying to remember everything else that happened. "Lucy said that the only desperate people would want to date her not nice people," he pauses, "Nice people like me. I couldn't believe that she said that I wouldn't want to date her. Then I asked her out and we started kissing and then.... um.... she started screaming."
"You were kissing?"
"Yeah."
"Did you turn it into a sexual situation?"
Carter jumps up, very defensive, "How could it not be sexual, she wasn't wearing anything but that little nightgown, and was pressed up against me. It wasn't a `friend' situation. She was kissing me back." He sits down a little bit calmer. "So, did she really say that she loved me?"
"I wouldn't make that up."
"What do I do now? How badly have I screwed this up?" he asked Benton.
"I don't know. I'd say calm your hormones down first. She is a very attractive girl but she something very traumatic happen to her yesterday. You're probably going to have to be strong for her for a while. I think that she's hiding a lot of her feelings about what happened."
"I think so too."
Benton stands up and pats Carter on the knee. "Be her friend right now. She needs that more than anything else. She loves you, be patient, in a couple of weeks she probably be more ready for all that you want." With that he walks away.
Carter went home that night with the intention to drink himself to sleep but never got the chance. Sitting in the living room of his grandparents house and drinking tea with his grandmother were his two least favorite law enforcement officials. It was really rather ridiculous, so much so that he had to laugh. "What's so funny Dr. Carter?" Mike asked.
"Sorry. It's just you guys aren't the usual type my grandmother has over for tea."
"Sit down John. This is serious," his grandmother told him.
"So, is this a social call or business?" he asked as he sat down.
"Cut the bullshit. We need some information from you. What do you know about a Paul Sobricki?"
"Nothing, I heard that he was a patient of Lucy's and ran out on her when she tried to do some stitches."
"Did you see that?"
"No."
"Did you see him the day of the attack?"
"Uh, yeah. I saw him through the window of Lucy's apartment."
Both officers look at each other and sit forward. "Did you actually see the attack?"
"No. Ok, here is what I saw. I was sitting in front of her apartment building and I saw, through her window, a man carry her into the bedroom and walked over and shut the blinds."
"Could you identify him?"
"No. I never saw him at the hospital and at her apartment I didn't get to see him for long enough." He pauses and realizes something. "Have you guys gotten him yet?"
Mike shakes his head. "Not a trace of him since the attack."
"Is Lucy going to be safe with him out there? Can you guys assign police to watch her?"
"We really don't know if she's going to be safe but we can't assign her bodyguards. Not it the budget." Both police officers stand to leave. "If we have any questions can we reach you here?"
"Yeah."
"Ok. Goodbye then."
He and his grandmother sat in silence for a few minutes after the officers left. "What's going on? Are we going to need to get you a lawyer?" she finally asks him.
"No, Lucy was raped yesterday and I was nearby when it happened. At first they thought that I did it."
His grandmother is absolutely shocked, "How on earth could they think that? Oh, that poor girl. Lucy's the cute blonde girl that you always talk about right?"
"Yeah. She's having a rough time with everything that is going on."
"Incidentally, she called for you about a half an hour ago. I think that she wants you to call her back."
John jumps up and runs to the kitchen to grab a phone. "Thanks gramma. I really got to call her back." With that he runs up to his room dialing as he goes feeling like a teenager. "Hey Lucy, what going on?" he asks as he fall onto his bed.
"I'm sorry about what I did earlier," she tells him.
"Don't be. It was my fault, I think that I pushed things too far, too fast."
"We need to talk."
"Oh, the four words that every man dreads to hear."
He could hear her giggling. "It's not like that. So I was thinking that maybe we could have this talk over dinner at my place tomorrow." A million butterflies started flying around his stomach.
"I'd really like that idea. Are you going to be ok to go home and all tomorrow?"
"Dr. Greene said that I would be. All of my tests came back normal. I'm not pregnant and he didn't give me any kind of horrible disease."
"That's great Luce. I'm so relieved."
"I assume that you know where I live, so just come by at around six o'clock tomorrow evening."
"Sounds great. I'll be there."
"Goodnight John."
"Goodnight Lucy."
He didn't get into work until noon the next day and by then Lucy had already checked out and had gone home. The first part of the day was more pleasant for John than the day before. People's attention and gossip soon started to focus on other issues. He talked with Mark and apologized for causing problems the day before. "Carter, don't worry about it. Tensions were running high and I overreacted. I'm not mad at you," he explained.
"Thanks." After talking to Mark he was feeling a lot better but still needed to talk to Malucchi. There were enough hard feelings between the two of them without adding competition over Lucy to their difficulties. He waited all day for a chance to talk to him and finally right when he got off home he saw Malucchi go into the lounge on his break. Carter followed him in. "Perfect," Carter thought as he looked around, the lounge was almost empty except for Abby who was asleep and Luka who was reading.
"Malucchi, we have some stuff that we need to talk about," he said instantly getting Dave's attention.
"I have nothing to talk to you about Carter."
"I'm trying to not be an ass about this."
"You're not trying hard enough." He said as he turned to leave the lounge but Carter caught him by the arm.
"I know that you like Lucy. I like her too and I think that I have a chance with her. I don't want us to be in competition over this."
"We aren't in competition. I'm not interesting in Lucy like that. She and I are friends, nothing more. I asked her out as a friend and that's all that I intend to be with her. You on the other hand have no interest in being her friend and I don't want to see her get fucked over by you."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Carter asks as his voice starts to raise.
"I've seen you look at her. Check out her ass or stare down the front of her shirt when she wears that green shirt that's so low cut. I've watched you sit and watch her with that sick lust look in your eyes." Dave explains, his voice raising to match John's.
"I'm not interested in Lucy just because of the sex aspect of it."
"Whatever. I know that she's just going to become another one of you little blonde cheap girlfriends. Spend a couple of months walking around with her on your arm and then dump her for something else, she deserves better than that, and I don't think that you are capable of giving her that."
Kerry busts into the lounge breaking up the argument. "What is the matter with the two of you?" She turns to a very awake Abby and Luka, who were watching the festivities, "If you could excuse us please." She accompanies her words with a look that gets the two of the scampering out the door. "Sit," she orders Carter and Dave. They do so obediently, waiting for her wrath to fall upon them. "I'm sick of the both of you acting like some undersexed middle school boys, I don't want to hear so much as a harsh word between the two of you from here on out. Understood?"
They both nod and mumble yes.
"And to ensure that," she continues, "We are going to work out our differences right now. Carter you go first."
"Malucchi doesn't want me to date Lucy because he thinks that I won't treat her right," John explains, "I don't think that it's up to him to decide though."
"Your turn Malucchi."
"He's going to treat her like shit. He treats all his girlfriends like that and I don't want to see Lucy be degraded like that. She deserves someone who isn't going to just use her as a quick fuck."
"That's not your place to decide though," she tells him, "Lucy is a big girl and she can take care of herself and make her own decisions."
"See," John smirks.
"And you need to listen to some things too. You aren't the most popular person around here right now. A majority of the staff here agree with Dave. Even if your intentions are noble most people don't think so and they think that you only are interested in Lucy because she's young and cute. Just a warning that you are going to have to be extra careful. There's even been a pool going around on how long it would be before you got her into bed. Thought that you needed to know." With that she and Dave left.
Carter thought about everything that Malucchi and Kerry said as he walked over to Lucy's apartment, he wanted to see if she thought that he was only using her. He climbed the stairs unsure how the evening was going to go but at the same time excited about the possibilities that he and Lucy had together. When he got to her door he stopped and stood outside a few minutes trying to muster up the nerve to actually knock. He never needed it because Lucy opened it while he stood there.
She was somewhat startled to see him there. "John, hello. Please come in." "She looks absolutely radiant," he thought. Her hair was down around her shoulders, hiding some of the scars and bruises from the incident, she was wearing a red tank top and a short blue jean skirt, she didn't have on any shoes but her toes matched her shirt perfectly.
He walks in and she closes the door behind him. "You look great. Like always though."
A big smile crossed her face and she threw her arms around him. "Oh, don't you say the sweetest things. I hope you like what I made for dinner. It's kind of simple." She keeps talking as she walks into the kitchen and he follows her.
"What did you make?" he asks as he opens a pot to look inside.
"It's just spaghetti." She stops scurrying around the kitchen fixing dinner to watch him. "I love you."
"I love you, too. It's too early for seriousness though, let's leave that for later on tonight."
"What shall we discuss then, Dr. Carter?" she teases him.
"I guess we've skipped the formalities so we can go back and take care of that. How are you doing today, Miss Knight?"
Her blue eyes look up at him with a very serious gaze, "That is a question that has too serious of an answer."
He walks over and wraps his arm around her tiny frame. "Lucy, talk to me. Let me help you. Let me be strong for you. Trust me." At first she stiffen at his touch but then later softens and finally collapses into his arms. Carter lifts her up and carries her to the couch sitting her on it and sitting next to her. "Dinner can wait until we finish talking. Tell me about it." Tears start to escape from her eyes as she desperately tries to keep her composure.
"I don't want to talk about it," she whispers.
"I know but I think that you have too. It will make you feel better."
She scoots over closer to him and rests her head on his shoulder as the story starts to pour out of her. Her protectively puts his arms around her as he listens to the gruesome details of her attack. The rage builds inside him as she describes how horrific the pain was and how he hit her and how she was terrified that he was going to kill her. When she finished her story they laid there crying together for a half and hour. John kissed the top of her head and wispered in her ear, "As long as I'm alive I promise to protect you."
"I'm scared that he's going to come back to get me."
"Not while I'm around he won't."
She smiles up at him very timidly, "Would you spend the night here? With me? I'm scared of the dark."
"Absolutely."
Over dinner and for the rest of the evening they talked. They talked like old friends catching up on old times. Favorite movies, places they wanted to see, things they wanted to do, embarrassing things that they've done, worst dates, and on. The conversation flowed with ease and they both knew that they had found their forever with each other. Night soon approached and it was time to sleep. Neither wanted to bring up the subject not knowing how to deal with the situation. They turned to look at each other with some unease. "So, if you have a blanket and I pillow I can just make myself comfortable on the couch," John finally said broaching the subject.
She started to laugh as she looked at the couch. "John, you couldn't fit on that thing to save your life!"
"Well, I'm not having you spend the night on the couch in your own place."
"I don't plan on either of us spending the night on the couch," she announced as he headed to the bedroom. The words registered in his head and he started to notice that familiar feeling in his groin. He knew that she didn't intend to have sex with him but the words were still ringing in his ears. When he got himself settled down he followed her to the bedroom. She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth and he didn't think that she noticed him come into the room. He quietly slipped his trousers, suspenders, tie and dress shirt on the back of the chair leaving him clad only in his green plaid boxers and a white T-shirt.
"Not going to take it all off?" she teased him. He jumped at least three feet at the sound of her voice. He looked at her as she mischievously smiled back at him.
"Were you watching me?" he asked. All he received from her was a nod in reply. He shook his head and climbed into her bed, "You little voyeur. Who knew." She turns off the light to the bathroom and starts to giggle.
"I'm also an exhibitionist." All he can do is watch as she goes over to her dresser and take out a long silk baby blue nightgown. He had seen her change into it at least a dozen times through the window of her bedroom. She knew that he was watching and he didn't even try to hide the fact that he was. Slowly and deliberately she removed the tank top and tossed it on floor. Soon afterwards her skirt ended up on the floor next to it. He held his breath waiting to see what else would come off. She didn't disappoint him. It turned out that all she wore to bed was the blue nightgown. That was incredibly interesting to him because from all the time that he had watched her he had never realized that she didn't wear anything underneath. "Interesting," he murmurs.
"What's interesting?" she asked as she slipped under the covers next to him. Apparently the little strip show had interested him. That was very comforting to her as she snuggled up closer to him. She had been so worried that even though he loved her he wouldn't find her attractive because of all her bruises and scars.
"I love you," he tells her as he drifts off too sleep.
"I love you too," she replies feeling completely safe and warm in his arms.
It wasn't the front door being kicked open that woke them up but instead the sound of a vase in her living room being knocked over. Lucy clung to him shaking as she waited for the bedroom door to open. Seconds later it did as Paul Sobricki entered their lives again. Everything moved so fast that later she had a hard time giving a statement on what happened. Metal flashed in the moonlight. A gun? A knife? It was too dark to tell. Lucy screamed. John jumped out of bed and charged him. Gunshots. Was it three or four shots? She tried to count.
The only thing that she could accurately remember was seeing John's body crumble lifelessly to the floor. She made eye contact with Paul and watched as he looked back at her. He too fell to the floor in a heap. The paramedics and the cops showed up at the same time. They showed up as she was performing CPR on John.
"Please help him," she begged, "Take him to County General now."
Everything was still a blur. Riding in the ambulance with Carter. Talking to the cops. Seeing the look on Malucci's as they rolled John in on a gurney. Romano taking him upstairs to do surgery to see if they could save him. He was hit in the chest twice by a 9mm. Paul was DOA. He had been shot once straight through the heart. When the police finished questioning her she retreated to the lounge to sit and wait for word on Carter.
Upstairs, the best surgical team in Chicago worked tirelessly to save him. There were a few close calls but he came through. Eventually, he stabilized and was moved to a post-op room to recover and wake up. The doctors in the ER drew straws to see who would get to wait with him to wake up, Dave won. He talked to him as he was waiting for him to wake up.
"Carter, you better hurry up and wake up. Lucy's down there wearing nothing but this slinky blue nightgown."
He paused to see if there was any reaction from him. When there wasn't he continued talking.
"Seriously man, I don't think that's she's wearing any underwear." Dave laughed to himself. If Carter was awake he would kill him for talking like that. "On a more serious note I want to apologize for how I acted earlier. If it wasn't for you, Lucy would be dead right not. I'm probably not going to say this when you're awake or anything because I've got my pride and all but I'm really happy for you too. I was wrong about you, you're a hero.'
Still no reaction from Carter. Running out of things to say to him, Dave sat in silence in the recover room waiting for him to wake up. When he did Dave didn't even notice though until Cater said something.
"Oh, don't tell me," he moaned, still groggy from the medicine, "I've died and gone to hell, because I know that you aren't an angel Malucchi."
Some of the tension between them returned for a moment as their eyes met and their competitiveness was remembered.
Malucchi laughed, "Carter, your angel is downstairs waiting. Do you feel up to me going and getting her?"
"Dave if you went and got her for me then to hell with angels because you are a saint." They started laughing and all uneasiness between them was forgotten.
"Does this mean that we are going to have to be friends or something?" Dave teased him.
"Probably, but that doesn't mean that I want to be on a first name basis with you, Malucci."
"Never Carter," he replied as he went downstairs to get Lucy.
The end.
There isn't a real specific time for this story. Assume that it is before Valentine's Day but that Mark and Elizabeth are together and that Exam room 6 never happened. Carter lives at home with his grandparents and Lucy has an apartment.
Dr. John Carter looks at his watch, 5:30PM. He was so wrapped up in his last patient that he had completely lost track of the time. "Time to go home," he thought to himself as he walked over to the main desk.
"Hey Jerry."
"Hi Carter. How's it going?"
"Great. I'm off and going home," he said, "Oh, I almost forgot about Lucy. Is she still around?"
"Nah. She left about thirty minutes ago. Is it something important?"
"No, I just wanted to see if she had any problems today."
"Actually I think she had a pretty rotten day at the beginning. Some guy came in to get stitches and before she could even start he freaked out and knocked her down. Guy just ran out of the hospital bleeding." Jerry said and went back to his paperwork.
"Was she alright?"
"Oh yeah. Just a little shaken for a bit but she got over it. Strong kid."
Carter smiled to himself as he agreed with Jerry. "Perfect," he thought, "She'll be home then." He turned to walk out of the ER when he ran into an incoming trauma. Literally.
"Damn it Carter. Get the hell out of the way," Malucci shouted a little too late. The incoming trauma was a gunshot wound on a gurney that was bleeding profusely and crashed into Carter's hip.
"Damn it Malucci." Carter shouted back, "Watch where you are driving those things." Malucci shot him a dirty look and continued to push the gurney to the nearest open room. "Damn," Carter said aloud to himself as he looked at his kakhis. Right on the hip there was a massive smear of blood. "And probably a massive bruise under the khaki's," he thought slightly disgusted. Malucci sure could piss him off sometimes. He went to his locker and grabbed a jacket that he hoped would cover the stain. It was long enough to where he wouldn't get odd stares as he walked around Chicago.
It worked out perfectly though he realized when he left the hospital. The weather slightly cool and crisp making the jacket perfect for the evening. His smile returned as he walked towards the Brazos Apartments about six blocks away from the hospital. Across from the Brazos Apartments was a quiet little park with a dozen trees and a couple of park benches and that was his destination for this evening. This would be the ninth day in a row he had come here after and it had started to worry him. "Am I obsessed with her?" he wondered aloud as he walked. Two old ladies looking out of place in running gear in front of him turned around to look at him. Then proceeded to cross to the other side of the street to continue their walk. He sighed and chuckled.
Coming up to the park he could see that it was deserted except for the odd squirrel running around in the trees. He sat on the park bench closest to the sidewalk that faced the apartment complex and counted. Three floors up and fourth window from the left that was hers. Lucy's bedroom.
One large picture window that had been showing him the most beautiful picture in the world for at least a month and a half now. It was the last few nights though that she had forgotten to close her window blinds before changing from her work clothes to her nightgowns. Just thinking about it gave him an involuntary shudder and a slight feeling of arousal. "Don't turn into on of those weird peeping toms," he thought to himself. He was angry with himself for thinking about her in a sexual way. He really didn't want to turn into some sex crazed lunatic. He just enjoyed watching her in her own little world. Normally there wasn't a lot to see, she got home from work, ate dinner, and then went to bed to cuddle up with a book or watch TV. It was beautiful though. Being able to just sit there and spend hours watching her reading or watching her watch TV completely oblivious to the fact that he was sitting outside wishing that he was inside with her. So far he'd been lucky and nobody
had noticed that he sat out there night after night. If he got caught he would be in more trouble than he could stand to think about. He was after all her teacher and she was his student. "I'm the creep in those stupid after school movies," he thought with a sorrow too deep to comprehend. He just wanted to be her friend but he couldn't do it. He tried to talk to her at work but he always froze up or got called away.
Carter's plan was not to just continue to sit outside forever though. Each night he tried to talk himself into going up there and actually talking to her. She wouldn't turn him away he knew, she was too polite. Lucy would probably invite him in and maybe even ask him to join her for dinner. Then they would have a wonderful dinner and spend the rest of the night talking like long lost friends or even better, soul mates. "What's the use?" he asked himself bitterly, "You'll never actually get the courage to go up there and take a chance with her." He sighed and stood up ready to leave when he glanced up to her room for a moment. "What the fuck?" he demanded. There was a guy carrying her into the bedroom that he didn't recognize. He laid her on the bed and shut the blinds.
Stunned Carter sat back down. "Who could that be?" he wondered. She hadn't mentioned anything to him about having a boyfriend and nobody had said anything about it around the ER. He contemplated going back to the hospital to ask Abby about it, being one of her best friends she would know what was going on. It wasn't really any of his business though. Lucy's life away from the hospital was none of his business because he was just her teacher and nothing more. As much as he wanted to be everything to her he had to deal with the fact that he was sitting on a park bench while some other jerk got to make love to her.
The second time he stood up to leave was when the police arrived. A voice in his head screamed at him to run as he watched a second patrol car pull up in front of the apartment complex. Two more fat cops ran into the building. "Lucy!" Cater screamed. Something happened to her. He could feel it. With a sense of dread he looked up to her window in time to see the window shade open and made eye contact with the cop that opened it. He'd been seen. Once again the voice in his head screamed at him to run. To get out of here. Lucy's boyfriend had probably called the cops on him. He had probably seen him just starting at her window and now he was going to be arrested. Run, the voice screamed again. Louder this time. He ran. Just as he saw two cops coming out of the front of the building, he ran. Time stood still though. He was running. The cops were shouting at him to stop. "They're fat," he thought, "I can outrun them." That was his last thought before he was slammed to the ground.
He heard his Miranda rights. "Tell Lucy I'm sorry," he screamed. The handcuffs were snapped on and he could feel the cold metal slicing into his skin. The cops shoved him into the back of a patrol car. Roughly. "Oh God," he prayed for the first time in a long time. "Dear God, I'm sorry for hurting her. I'm sorry for scaring her. I'm sorry." The car started to move and Carter shut his eyes and continued to pray until the car stopped. Fighting back tears he opened his eyes and noticed where he was.
"Why are we at the hospital?" he asks one of the cops in the front seat.
"So she can identify you. You are one seriously one sick fuck," the cop sneered at him.
"Why do we have to do this at the hospital?" Now the entire staff of county would know he had been doing. He was going to be fired. Probably would spend the night in jail. Luckily his family would get him out in no time. Connections through his grandfather. It didn't matter he realized though because he had already lost the thing he cared about most. There was no way she would want to have anything to do with him now.
Once in front of the hospital they had to sit in the patrol car for awhile waiting for an ambulance to unload. That's when he saw it. The blond hair. Being pushed into the hospital on a gurney was a blond. Lucy. A blond with red streaks in her hair. "Why'd she do that to her gorgeous hair?" Carter wondered. Then he realized. Red. Blood. Blood in her blond hair. What the fuck was going on?
"Is that Lucy?" he asked the cop in the front seat again.
Silence.
"Please tell me. Is that Lucy?"
This time the cop turned around. Sweat had caused his red hair to be plastered to his forehead and his brown eyes oozed hate at he stared at Carter. "You bash a little girl in the head with a fucking baseball bat, you piece of shit, and she's going to be hurt."
"No!" Carter screamed. "You think I did that. I would never hurt her."
They didn't listen though. The redheaded one walked around to the back of the car and drug him out. From the loading circle Carter could hear the commotion inside the emergency room. Mark screaming at Jerry asking him what room was open. Kerry running over and asking what happened to her. Mark yelling at Randi to get a 100 cc of something.
Everything stopped when they made their appearance though. A redheaded cop, skinny black cop, and Carter in handcuffs. He could feel everyone's eyes on him and none of them friendly. They could put two and two together. Lucy comes in beat to a pulp and seconds later he comes in wearing handcuffs and escorted by the police. Pain fills his heart again that evening as he wonders how they could ever believe he would do something like that. Especially to her. They had their fights but everyone knew that he cared about her. His moment of self pity was interrupted by Dave yelling at him.
"Fucking A, Carter. How could you do that? What the fuck is the matter with you?" The yelling was followed with Dave knocking him to the floor and punching him in the gut. Strangely enough it wasn't the cops that pulled Malucci off him but Benton. Carter lay on the floor gasping for breath when he looked up and saw him.
"Benton. I didn't hurt her. I would never hurt Lucy."
"I know man. Calm down and we'll figure this out," he says as he helps him off the floor.
Kerry then comes over and takes control of the situation. Barking out orders, "Mark, get her into exam room four, Benton take Malucci outside for some air." She then turns her gaze onto the trio including Carter and the police. "Go into the lounge and wait for me there." She turns and is gone else where making everyone get back to work. The police proceed to escort Carter to the lounge but in reality he escorts them because they don't know where it is. He sits for what seems like an eternity but is only three minutes waiting for someone to come in. His emotions are a mess. Fear and panic overrun his heart.
Kerry and Benton finally enter. Carter jumps up. "How is she? Is she going to be all right? What happened to her?" He demands over and over. Benton sits down and tells Carter to do the same. It is Kerry who finally answers his questions.
"John. She'll be ok. Right now she is unconscious but I think she'll pull through."
Carter sighs and starts to cry from relief. "When I saw them bring her in I thought that she was dead. I saw blood in her hair."
"She's going to make it John." She turned her attention away from him and to the police. "What is going on?"
The black one, Roger, took charge this time. He pulled out a notebook and started to talk. "About forty minutes one of Miss Knights neighbors heard a scream and then a loud clunk. A few minutes later she heard more screaming and called the police. We showed up about ten minutes after that to discover Miss Knight on her bed naked and covered in blood. It appears that her friend here knocked on her door and when she wouldn't open it he kicked it in. He then picked up a bat, hit Miss Knight in the head with it and carried her into her bedroom where he proceeded to rape her."
"No. It wasn't me. I would never do that to Lucy," Carter said, "Benton. Kerry. You have to believe me."
"John. We believe you," Benton said, "But I think that we should listen to what is going on ok?"
Carter nodded and the cop continued. "My partner, Mike, looked out the window and saw Mr. Carter standing outside staring at the window."
"Dr." Benton interrupted.
"What?"
"Carter is a doctor. It's not Mr. Carter it's Dr. Carter," Benton explained.
Both of the police looked at him. "Right. Anyway, OFFICER Mike looked out the window and saw DOCTOR Carter standing there. He thought that maybe he had seen someone or something so we went down to talk to him. He took off running and we took off after him. When we finally got him we saw that he had blood on his pants and he was screaming that he was sorry for hurting Miss Knight. It was an obvious conclusion to come to and we arrested him. We are here because we need the victim to identify him when she wakes up."
Benton nods. "Ok, Carter you give us your side of the story now. What happened?"
"The blood is from a patient here. Malucci ran into me with a gurney on my way out today. I started running because I was afraid that they would think I was a peeping tom or something staring at her window. I don't know why I said I was sorry. I wasn't thinking logically." Carter explained.
And so the interrogation began.
"What were you doing there in the first place?" Mike asked him.
"I heard from Jerry that she had a rough day and I wanted to make sure she was ok." Carter decided that half truths would be best at this point.
"Why would you do that?"
"She's my student and it is my responsibility."
"Why didn't you go inside?"
"Because there were a bunch of cops around. I figured I'd just go inside after you guys left."
"Do cops make you nervous?"
"No."
"Why didn't you go inside then? Why did the cops deter you from going inside?"
"I was afraid that it would appear to be improper if I was asked any questions about why I was there because I'm her teacher and she's my student. I didn't want people to assume anything and have rumors to get started."
"Were you there inappropriately, Carter?" Benton had asked the question. He couldn't get away with half truths with Benson.
"Yes." There he had said it.
"Are you dating Lucy?"
"No, I'm not." He shook his head to emphasize the point.
"Are you sleeping with her?"
"No."
"Carter, you have to be completely honest about this. You realize that they are going to do a rape kit on her and if any of your sperm are present you will be in more trouble than imaginable. If you are holding anything back it will be bad. I know that you didn't hurt her but I also think that you aren't being completely honest with us."
"Lucy and I have never slept together. I was there tonight for the same reason that I've been there every night this past week. I go to hopefully run into her. I go so that if I ever get up the nerve to talk to her I'll be close. I go to see what she is doing and to be close to her."
The silence was almost more than he could handle. Kerry and Benton just sitting there looking at him with looks of complete and utter shock on their faces. The police weren't about to say anything. They could sense that this was something much more complicated than they originally thought.
"Carter," Benson finally asked the question they had all been wondering, "Are you in love with her?"
"Absolutely."
It was at the very moment that he finally admitted how he felt for her that Malucci entered ecstatic. "You guys, she's awake."
Carter couldn't help it. He was so relieved and so happy. "So what if she hates my guts at least she's alive," he thought as he got up.
"Whoa," Roger said restraining him, "Where do you think that you are going?"
"To go see her. To see if she really is ok," he exclaimed. Then he realized his situation. They weren't going to let him see her they thought that he raped her and tried to kill her. There was no way those cops would let him near her. In their opinion he was a threat to her safety. They realization was too much. He started to feel the room spin and remembered nothing else.
Then the light came. The bright light. "Ahh. Where am I?" he asked. Benson was helping him up off the floor.
"You passed out."
"Oh. My head hurts like hell."
"That's not surprising considering you hit the floor with it."
"Can I get some Tylenol or something, please?"
This time Mike answered his questions. "Actually, Dr. Carter we are going to need you to come with us. We need the victim to identify you so you can be booked."
"Lucy, identify me? I don't understand."
"We will ask Miss Knight to tell us whether or not you were her attacker."
"That's great. That's wonderful. Let's go right now. She'll can fix this." Carter left the lounge with the cops following. "Exam room four." He entered the room flanked by the cops and stopped dead when he saw her. "Lucy," he whispered.
He wasn't prepared for what he saw. So much blood still. In her hair and on her face. Stitches running along her hair line for three inches. The entire left side of her face bruised. An IV tube running from her arm to a drip. She opened her eyes at the sound of her name and tried to sit up.
"Dr. Carter," was all that she said.
"Miss Knight. We have a few questions to ask you is that alright?" Mike asked her.
"Yeah. Sure," she replied and paused, "Why are you handcuffed Dr. Carter?"
At this the police did a double take. "What did you ask Miss?" Mike asked.
"Why do you have handcuffs on Dr. Carter?"
"Miss is this the man that attacked you today?"
"Carter? You can't be serious! No. It was some guy that was a patient today. It's not Dr. Carter! Why would you even think that? What is wrong with you?" By now she was screaming and Mark walked in.
"What is going on here?" he demanded.
"Dr. Greene, they think that Dr. Carter hurt me. Can you believe that?" Her voice was going hoarse from the yelling already. So she stopped yelling and began crying. Her eyes focused on Mark. "You knew they thought Dr. Carter did this and you didn't tell them that they were wrong?"
"Shh. Lucy you need to calm down a little. Our first priority was your safety. We figured that everything else would be cleared up when you came to."
She couldn't stop crying though. "Why would anyone think that Dr. Carter would hurt her?" she thought. It was then that she realized how intently Dr. Carter was looking at her.
"How are you, Lucy?" he asked.
"Ok."
"Really. How are you doing?"
"A little scared." A pause. "A lot scared."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head vigorously. "No, I want to forget that it happened."
"Miss, I'm sorry to interrupt," Roger said as he began to undo Carter's handcuffs, "But we have a few questions to ask you."
"Ok."
"Do you feel up to answering them?"
"Only if you apologize to Dr. Carter for suspecting him!"
Roger rolled his eyes. What was this girl's problem. It was a logical conclusion that they reached when they arrested him. Anything to get this job done though.
"Dr. Carter, I am sorry that we had to arrest you."
Carter smiled and winked at Lucy. "Apology accepted. Lucy, you're going to have to work your charm on Malucci next. He gut punched me when he thought I had anything to do with you getting hurt."
"Oh no. I missed all the fun didn't I?"
Carter couldn't believe it. Her spirit didn't seem to be injured at all. She was laughing and joking with him. He was completely amazed at how strong she was. There was so much fear and hurt there too but he could tell that she would be all right because she was still herself.
"I think that maybe you should answer their questions now. The faster that it gets over with the faster they can find that bastard and arrest his ass."
"I agree," Mark intertoned. "Maybe Carter and I should leave for this?"
"No, please don't. Don't leave me alone," she begged as her eyes started to tear. "I don't want to go through this alone."
"I'll stay Lucy." Carter told her and he reached out and took her hand. Mark then left and she squeezed his hand as the questions began.
"Could you tell us what happened please?" Mike asked her.
She nods and pauses. Lucy takes a deep breath and then starts. "I had gotten home from work and was starting dinner when somebody knocked at my door. When I went to answer it, the man on the other side pushed the door in and grabbed the bat that I had sitting beside my door. I tried to run but he grabbed me. I screamed and told him to let go of me but he wouldn't. He told me to shut up but I didn't. I screamed again and then he hit me with the bat."
Another pause. Carter looked over at her to she how she was doing. Her blue eyes were clouded and filled with tears. He gently squeezed her hand.
"I don't remember anything from after he hit me," she finished.
"Ms. Knight, would you be able to identify your attacker?" Mike asked.
"Yeah. Paul Sobricki."
"Is he a friend of yours?"
"Not at all. He was a patient of mine tonight."
"And you are sure that it was him?"
"Yes. How much longer is this going to take? My head hurts."
The cops looked at each other. "I think that we have all the information that we need for now. If we have questions later we will call you."
With that the police left and they were alone. A sudden feeling of guilt washed over at Carter as he sat there studying Lucy's battered face.
"What are you thinking Dr. Carter?" she asks.
"I wish she'd call me John," he thinks but he says, "Mark did an excellent job with your stitches."
The sad look left her face at once and she giggled. "You were not! That is not the `Let me critique Dr. Greene's handiwork' face."
He leans in close to her face and asks, "Oh wasn't it. Since you are such an expert on my facial expressions, what type of face was it then?"
"Hmm. I'm thinking it was a `I'm thinking something really interesting that Lucy would like to know but I'm not going to tell her' face." She smiles at him again. "Admit it. I'm right."
"You are."
"Then what was it you were thinking?"
"Call me John."
It slipped out before he could even realize it. He had broken a boundary. He had gotten too close. It was what he wanted but he knew that he shouldn't have crossed the line. Now they were more than teacher and student, they were friends, now their relationship was more than professional. "Friends. Friends can go places together. I could ask her to a movie as a friend," he thought. "I don't want to be her friend though. I want to be her boyfriend."
Carter had spent so much time sitting and thinking that he hadn't realized Lucy had fallen asleep. Quietly he slipped his hand out of hers and tucked her blankets closer to her. "Lucy, you're a survivor. You are going to be fine," he whispered as he started to leave the room. When he reached the door she stirred slightly and she whispered to him, "Goodnight John. Thank you." He couldn't help but smile at her, "Goodnight Lucy."
Since he had been brought in by the police and his car wasn't at the hospital he decided to call a cab from the ER. By the time that he arrived at his grandparent's house he was so tired he could barely stand. The stress of the day had been too much. John climbed into bed without even changing and was asleep before he knew it.
That night he had horrible dreams. They started off wonderfully. He would walk up to the door of her apartment wearing a tux and knock on her door. Lucy would answer the door wearing only a black silk robe and black heels. They would embrace and close the door behind them as they make their way to the bedroom. Carter carries her to the room and lays her on the bed and slowly starts to untie the belt to her robe. It falls open and he caresses her breasts as she moans at his touch. Then he undresses and begins to make love to her but before he can finish she starts to scream. He asks her what's wrong but she won't quit screaming. He hears a neighbor yell that their going to call the police so he grabs a pillow and covers Lucy's mouth with it to silence her. He holds it there until she stops struggling. John then takes the pillow away and she dead. Her blue eyes staring at him with a look of horror.
Carter sits straight up in bed screaming.
It was 5:30 A.M. and he wasn't on for another four hours but he couldn't get back to sleep. Not after seeing her beautiful face so cold and lifeless. With a sigh Carter decided to get up and go into work anyway. He dragged himself out of bed and to the shower.
As he pulled into the parking lot and shut off the engine of his Jeep, an intense feeling of restlessness came over him. "Oh, shit," he thought to himself as he realized that everyone was probably going to be treating him funny today. "They are probably going to be avoiding me and making me the main topic of gossip in the lounge." True to his expectations, the moment he walking into the door of the ER everyone stopped talking and looked at him before quickly going back to work. He sighed.
"You are in early, Carter," Kerry commented as she looked at the clock.
"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to come in and get some work done."
Kerry's eyebrow raised, "Ok. That's fine," she said as he started to walk off, "By the way, Lucy said that she wants you to come visit her as soon as you get in. I was thinking you'd probably want to do that first."
Carter smiled. "Yeah, I think that's a great idea, I'll go visit her right now."
Elizabeth walked over to Kerry as Carter got on the elevator. "I heard I missed quite an ordeal yesterday."
Kerry sighed. "You were lucky to not be here. It was pandemonium."
Elizabeth nodded, "That exactly what Mark said. I'm surprised Carter would be here today, you'd think he want to take some personal leave until the rumors die down."
"If he didn't show up today then the gossip would be that he was really arrested. I'm glad that he came in today but I think it has to do a lot more with Lucy than with work."
Carter softly knocked on Lucy door and then went inside. She lay asleep with her hair spread out on the pillow like a halo. He walked over and sat down in the chair closest to her bed and looked around the room. Already there were various arrangements of flowers that had been delivered to her, and on that looked like it couldn't have cost less than a hundred dollars. Curiosity got the better of him and he went to see who it was from. Before he got a chance to open the card though, he heard Lucy. "It's from Dave," she said.
"Excuse me?"
"The flowers," she explained as she sat up, "Are from Dave. He brought them by yesterday right after you left."
A million questions entered his head. "Why would Malucci spend so much on flowers for her?" he wondered until he finally realized, "He likes her too." John started to feel jealous. "Wow. That was really nice of Dave," he said from behind a forced smile.
Lucy smiled back at him. "Yeah, I thought so." Carter instantly regretted not bringing her anything. "He also asked me to go get some pizza and movie or something when I feel like it. Isn't that just wonderful?" she gushed. For the second time in two days Carter's world started stopped. It took all the will power he had to not scream. "Damn Malucchi," he thought, "How come he gets the girl?"
"Yeah, hmm, that's really great. So," he paused and with great effort asked the question that he dreaded to hear the answer to, "You like Malucchi?"
Lucy giggled. "Why all the jealousness John?" she asked. With that question Carter stiffened a little bit. He hadn't realized that he was that obvious.
"I don't like him. He's very nice but I'm not interested in him. I just thought that it was nice that a guy would still find me attractive after all that happened." Her voice became a whisper at the end.
Hearing those words broke Carter's heart. He wished that he could just take her in his arms and tell her how attractive he thought that she was. He went over and sat beside the bed and picked up her hand. She was crying softly. "Lucy, you are so pretty. Any man in the world would be lucky to get the chance to be with you," he brushed some of her tears away with his thumb, "Listen to me. What happened to you doesn't change anything. You are still beautiful and smart and cute and funny and sexy."
Another boundary that he shouldn't have crossed. He shouldn't have told her that he thought that she was sexy and he knew it.
Lucy sniffed, "You think I'm all that?" she asked.
He simply nodded.
"Even the sexy bit?"
He blushed but still nodded, "Yeah, even the sexy bit."
"I think that you are blushing John Carter," she teased. Oh, how much he wanted to hug her.
"Hey, I've got to get to work but I'll come back and visit you on my breaks if that is ok."
"I'd like that a lot. It gets lonely up here." John said good-bye and walked to the door.
"John," Lucy said. He turned around and looked at her. "I think that you are sexy too," she said as he blushed and left.
The day passed slowly for John. He spent the day being given dirty looks, being asked inappropriate questions, and being ignored. It was actually a lot better than he thought that it probably would have been. As he entered into the lounge all conversation ceased like it had all day. Elizabeth and Mark stopped talking and watched him, Luka looked away, and Cleo stared at him. Enough was enough, he decided. "What is going on?" he asked, "Why are you treating me like I just shot the Pope." No answer. Anger was building up and he almost exploded, "Why!"
Mark answered him, "Why were you over at Lucy's apartment anyway? There are just too many unanswered questions that cast a suspicious glow on you."
"Mark, I would never hurt her. You have to believe that."
"I know, there a just a lot of unanswered questions and that makes people nervous."
"Questions like what?" John asked.
"Why you were over at you students apartment at night?" Cleo asked.
"It is pretty odd," Mark added.
"People are saying things you know," Cleo continued.
By now John's head was hurting. "Stupid hospital gossip," he thought. "I was over there checking to see if she had a good day. Nothing wrong with that."
Mark shakes his head, "I'm not saying that everyone thinks that you are doing anything wrong I'm just saying that it is odd. You can't even be civil to her here at the hospital but then go and check on her at night."
"What are people saying?" he asked turns and asks Cleo.
Cleo gave him a look, like no matter what he said she wasn't going to believe it, "The things I've heard was that you really did rape Lucy and she's just covering for you because she's pregnant and if she said anything your family won't give her any money for the kid." As she continued talking he started getting really nauseous, "We've also been hearing that you two were having an affair but you walked in on her cheating on you and beat the hell out of her. Or that you were blackmailing her into sleeping with you and she tried to tell you to stop and you got upset with her."
He couldn't take it anymore he had to get away from the rumors and accusations. He took off running to the bathroom but he didn't make it any farther than the hall trash can when he puked. As if it wasn't humiliating enough to throw up in front of the entire ER waiting room but Romano was the one that walked up to him to see if he was ok. "I think these people have gotten enough of a show," Romano said, "Let's get you to the bathroom." Romano walked him to the bathroom where he continued to dry heave into a toilet.
In between heaves Carter tried to explain himself, "I can't believe people are saying such horrible things about me," he paused as he heaved again, "Or about Lucy. Have you heard the rumors? Even if they thought that I was that horrible, how could they think that she was?" He paused to heave again.
"Yeah, I've heard the rumors. I heard them from the hospital director," Romano told him. Carter's stomach turned again and he was back to throwing up. "Luckily, the hospital management is smart enough to figure that you are probably in love with her or something and that's why you were over there last night." More dry heaving. "The circumstances being what they are though, I don't think that anyone would be willing to even question anything concerning Miss. Knight's behavior at this point of time. Too delicate of a situation. Try to not stay in here throwing your guts up all day Carter." With that Romano walked out leaving a stunned Carter being with his head against the stall door. "Romano just gave me the ok to date Lucy," he thought with a mixture of joy and amazement.
The rest of his day was spent taking care of patients and refereeing the internal debate in his mind on if he should ask Lucy out. The pro's were that he would finally get a chance to be with her. To be her boyfriend and to love her without having to keep it a secret. His self-esteem couldn't accept the possibility that she might like him back. She had never given any inclination that she felt anything special towards him. She had said that she thought that he was sexy but that was probably just to tease him. Not to mention that he didn't want to scare her by coming on strong after everything that happened. John decided to take things slow and really just try to be her friend for now and take it from there.
At the end of the day he decided to visit her on his way out. Carter walked into the room quietly, so not to wake her if she was asleep. She was completely under the blankets, curled into a ball, and her could hear her sobbing. He runs over to the bed, sits on the edge, and throws his arms around the crying bundle. She gets startled and starts screaming. "Lucy, shhhhh, it's me Carter. I won't hurt you. Shhh."
At the sound of his voice she stopped screaming and peeked out from under the covers. "John?"
"Yeah, it's just me. I'm not going to hurt you." A few more sniffles came from under the blanket and she laid her head in his lap. A shudder of excitement ran through Carter's body and he did everything he could to make sure that it wouldn't be visible. He adjusted himself and leaned against the wall pulling her up on his chest. She continued to sniffle for a couple more minutes as they sat there with him holding her. "Do you want to talk about it Lucy?"
"No, I want to forget about it."
John realized that she must remember a lot more about the attack than she told the cops. Anger shot through him, "How could someone hurt her?" he asked himself, "I should get her a psychologist to talk to." "I'm going to call Dr. Andrews to come down and talk to you. He's supposed to be very good with rape victims." He started to stand up but Lucy held him down.
"I don't want to talk to anybody about it."
"I think that you'll feel better if you do," he told her, "Who do you want me to get for you to talk to?"
"I'm not talking to anybody."
She was so upset, she had to talk to somebody, John decided. "Can you talk to me?"
Her big blue eyes looked at him and blinked, thinking it over. "Maybe."
"How about I ask you some questions and you just answer what you want to. Can we try that?" Lucy just nodded. "Here goes nothing," John thought as he desperately tried to remember his med school psychiatry. "Let's start off with some easy questions, how do you feel right now?"
"My head hurts." She was being too vague.
"Emotionally how do you feel right now?"
"A little confused and worried." That surprised him, most rape victims answer scared.
"Are you feeling scared?"
She looks up at him again and smiles a little. "Not right now."
"Why not right now?"
"Because I know that you won't let anyone hurt me when you are here with me."
He smiles and pulls her tighter into a hug. "Damn skippy I won't." "I love this woman," he thought. "Why worried and confused?"
"I don't know why this happened to me. I never hurt that guy. I never did anything to him but try to help him." A sigh as she snuggles closer to his chest. "I don't think that guys are going to want be with me anymore after this."
"Oh, Luce, that's not true. What about Dave? He asked you out right after he found out about it. He knows about what happened to you and he still wants to be with you," he said while cursing Dave under his breath.
"Do you think that I should go out with him?"
"Shit," Carter thought. "I don't think that I could answer that for you. That's something you have to decide for yourself," he said. "Please don't go out with Dave," he prayed silently.
"You wouldn't go out with me though. Dave's sometimes desperate. You never are. Someone like you who has their choice of women wouldn't want to date me. What's the terms for it... I'm damaged goods."
"No! That's not true. I would date you Lucy. You aren't damaged goods." She starts crying and his heart makes a decision without consulting his brain. "I want to date you. What are you doing this weekend?"
She laughs at him. "John, that is so sweet but you don't have to do this."
"Please, don't break my heart. I'm serious about this."
A moment passed. "Please," he wispered in her ear, "You have no idea how much you mean to me. Just give me a chance, Luce."
"John, we have done nothing but fight since we've met. I didn't even think that you would be interested in being my friend before yesterday. I don't understand where all this is coming from."
"I'm in love with you." Damn, another boundary. By now it didn't matter. He took a deep breath and everything came out. "I've been in love with you from the moment I saw you. I know that a relationship with you would have been difficult and probably would have gotten us in trouble with the hospital so I kept pushing you away to keep me from getting too close. No matter how much I tried to keep you away I couldn't I wanted you so much."
She doesn't know what to think. "John, I don't know if this is the right time," she says as she tries to pull away.
He doesn't let her though. Carter pulls her even tighter to his chest. "Let me finish at least. This is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do and I just want to get it over with. I love you. There isn't anything to it. I want to be your friend, your boyfriend, your soulmate, your lover." As he said the last word he shifted so she could feel his erection. She looked into his eyes and saw a completely animalistic look in his eyes. It scared her and excited her at the same time. To be loved so much by him was unbelievable. She wanted to be able to tell him that she loved him back but they could lose their jobs and she didn't even know if she was ready for something so serious.
"How do I respond to that? I won't say that a relationship between us is impossible but there are so many things to think about like.." He interrupted her saying, "Think about this," and kissed her. It was a slow and soft. They melted into each others arms, she ran her fingers through his hair pulling his face closer to his, he moved her onto her back being careful to not hurt her scars and bruises. She pulled away from him and bites his ear. He couldn't believe it was really happening. Carter wanted her, to kiss her, to hold her, to hug her, to make love to her. He kisses her again and slips a hand up her nightgown. His hand gently squeezes her breast. As he does that she sits up and screams. "Stop!"
He freezes and pulls away. "I'm sorry. What did I do?" he begs her.
Tears are streaming down her face, "I'm sorry John. Too much too soon." By now two doctors have run into the room, Mark and Benton, stand there staring. They stare at Lucy crying and John looking very mussed sitting on the bed apologizing.
Mark is the first one to say anything, "Carter get the fuck out of here."
Carter looks at him. "It's not like it looks. Give me a chance to explain." Mark glares at him. Carter looks over at Benton pleading for help.
Benton shakes his head, "I think that you had better leave, man."
"Shit. Fine I'm leaving," he says and on the way out pushes over a tray of supplies in a bout of anger. At the door he stops and turns to Lucy, "I love you. I want you to know that." He slams the door behind him on the way out.
Mark goes over to her, "Are you ok?"
She nods. "I love him, too."
Benton and Mark share a look as Benton leaves to go after Carter. He's sitting down in the doctor's lounge staring off in space alone when Benton finds him. He walks over and sits next to him. "Feel like talking?"
"No."
"Feel like listening?"
Carter scowls at him. "I don't really have much of a choice do I?"
"Nope. She loves you Carter."
"No, she doesn't."
"So now you want to talk. Well I don't think that you are done listening yet. Stop being a jackass. She does love you. Mark and I both heard her say it when you left." He sighs. "Now you can talk. Tell me what happened up there."
Carter runs his hand through his hair and sits forward. "I had a chance and I screwed it up. I was up there trying to comfort her because she was upset about everything that happened. She said that nobody would want to date her because of what happened to her and I told her that plenty of people would want to date her." He starts to rub at his temples trying to remember everything else that happened. "Lucy said that the only desperate people would want to date her not nice people," he pauses, "Nice people like me. I couldn't believe that she said that I wouldn't want to date her. Then I asked her out and we started kissing and then.... um.... she started screaming."
"You were kissing?"
"Yeah."
"Did you turn it into a sexual situation?"
Carter jumps up, very defensive, "How could it not be sexual, she wasn't wearing anything but that little nightgown, and was pressed up against me. It wasn't a `friend' situation. She was kissing me back." He sits down a little bit calmer. "So, did she really say that she loved me?"
"I wouldn't make that up."
"What do I do now? How badly have I screwed this up?" he asked Benton.
"I don't know. I'd say calm your hormones down first. She is a very attractive girl but she something very traumatic happen to her yesterday. You're probably going to have to be strong for her for a while. I think that she's hiding a lot of her feelings about what happened."
"I think so too."
Benton stands up and pats Carter on the knee. "Be her friend right now. She needs that more than anything else. She loves you, be patient, in a couple of weeks she probably be more ready for all that you want." With that he walks away.
Carter went home that night with the intention to drink himself to sleep but never got the chance. Sitting in the living room of his grandparents house and drinking tea with his grandmother were his two least favorite law enforcement officials. It was really rather ridiculous, so much so that he had to laugh. "What's so funny Dr. Carter?" Mike asked.
"Sorry. It's just you guys aren't the usual type my grandmother has over for tea."
"Sit down John. This is serious," his grandmother told him.
"So, is this a social call or business?" he asked as he sat down.
"Cut the bullshit. We need some information from you. What do you know about a Paul Sobricki?"
"Nothing, I heard that he was a patient of Lucy's and ran out on her when she tried to do some stitches."
"Did you see that?"
"No."
"Did you see him the day of the attack?"
"Uh, yeah. I saw him through the window of Lucy's apartment."
Both officers look at each other and sit forward. "Did you actually see the attack?"
"No. Ok, here is what I saw. I was sitting in front of her apartment building and I saw, through her window, a man carry her into the bedroom and walked over and shut the blinds."
"Could you identify him?"
"No. I never saw him at the hospital and at her apartment I didn't get to see him for long enough." He pauses and realizes something. "Have you guys gotten him yet?"
Mike shakes his head. "Not a trace of him since the attack."
"Is Lucy going to be safe with him out there? Can you guys assign police to watch her?"
"We really don't know if she's going to be safe but we can't assign her bodyguards. Not it the budget." Both police officers stand to leave. "If we have any questions can we reach you here?"
"Yeah."
"Ok. Goodbye then."
He and his grandmother sat in silence for a few minutes after the officers left. "What's going on? Are we going to need to get you a lawyer?" she finally asks him.
"No, Lucy was raped yesterday and I was nearby when it happened. At first they thought that I did it."
His grandmother is absolutely shocked, "How on earth could they think that? Oh, that poor girl. Lucy's the cute blonde girl that you always talk about right?"
"Yeah. She's having a rough time with everything that is going on."
"Incidentally, she called for you about a half an hour ago. I think that she wants you to call her back."
John jumps up and runs to the kitchen to grab a phone. "Thanks gramma. I really got to call her back." With that he runs up to his room dialing as he goes feeling like a teenager. "Hey Lucy, what going on?" he asks as he fall onto his bed.
"I'm sorry about what I did earlier," she tells him.
"Don't be. It was my fault, I think that I pushed things too far, too fast."
"We need to talk."
"Oh, the four words that every man dreads to hear."
He could hear her giggling. "It's not like that. So I was thinking that maybe we could have this talk over dinner at my place tomorrow." A million butterflies started flying around his stomach.
"I'd really like that idea. Are you going to be ok to go home and all tomorrow?"
"Dr. Greene said that I would be. All of my tests came back normal. I'm not pregnant and he didn't give me any kind of horrible disease."
"That's great Luce. I'm so relieved."
"I assume that you know where I live, so just come by at around six o'clock tomorrow evening."
"Sounds great. I'll be there."
"Goodnight John."
"Goodnight Lucy."
He didn't get into work until noon the next day and by then Lucy had already checked out and had gone home. The first part of the day was more pleasant for John than the day before. People's attention and gossip soon started to focus on other issues. He talked with Mark and apologized for causing problems the day before. "Carter, don't worry about it. Tensions were running high and I overreacted. I'm not mad at you," he explained.
"Thanks." After talking to Mark he was feeling a lot better but still needed to talk to Malucchi. There were enough hard feelings between the two of them without adding competition over Lucy to their difficulties. He waited all day for a chance to talk to him and finally right when he got off home he saw Malucchi go into the lounge on his break. Carter followed him in. "Perfect," Carter thought as he looked around, the lounge was almost empty except for Abby who was asleep and Luka who was reading.
"Malucchi, we have some stuff that we need to talk about," he said instantly getting Dave's attention.
"I have nothing to talk to you about Carter."
"I'm trying to not be an ass about this."
"You're not trying hard enough." He said as he turned to leave the lounge but Carter caught him by the arm.
"I know that you like Lucy. I like her too and I think that I have a chance with her. I don't want us to be in competition over this."
"We aren't in competition. I'm not interesting in Lucy like that. She and I are friends, nothing more. I asked her out as a friend and that's all that I intend to be with her. You on the other hand have no interest in being her friend and I don't want to see her get fucked over by you."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Carter asks as his voice starts to raise.
"I've seen you look at her. Check out her ass or stare down the front of her shirt when she wears that green shirt that's so low cut. I've watched you sit and watch her with that sick lust look in your eyes." Dave explains, his voice raising to match John's.
"I'm not interested in Lucy just because of the sex aspect of it."
"Whatever. I know that she's just going to become another one of you little blonde cheap girlfriends. Spend a couple of months walking around with her on your arm and then dump her for something else, she deserves better than that, and I don't think that you are capable of giving her that."
Kerry busts into the lounge breaking up the argument. "What is the matter with the two of you?" She turns to a very awake Abby and Luka, who were watching the festivities, "If you could excuse us please." She accompanies her words with a look that gets the two of the scampering out the door. "Sit," she orders Carter and Dave. They do so obediently, waiting for her wrath to fall upon them. "I'm sick of the both of you acting like some undersexed middle school boys, I don't want to hear so much as a harsh word between the two of you from here on out. Understood?"
They both nod and mumble yes.
"And to ensure that," she continues, "We are going to work out our differences right now. Carter you go first."
"Malucchi doesn't want me to date Lucy because he thinks that I won't treat her right," John explains, "I don't think that it's up to him to decide though."
"Your turn Malucchi."
"He's going to treat her like shit. He treats all his girlfriends like that and I don't want to see Lucy be degraded like that. She deserves someone who isn't going to just use her as a quick fuck."
"That's not your place to decide though," she tells him, "Lucy is a big girl and she can take care of herself and make her own decisions."
"See," John smirks.
"And you need to listen to some things too. You aren't the most popular person around here right now. A majority of the staff here agree with Dave. Even if your intentions are noble most people don't think so and they think that you only are interested in Lucy because she's young and cute. Just a warning that you are going to have to be extra careful. There's even been a pool going around on how long it would be before you got her into bed. Thought that you needed to know." With that she and Dave left.
Carter thought about everything that Malucchi and Kerry said as he walked over to Lucy's apartment, he wanted to see if she thought that he was only using her. He climbed the stairs unsure how the evening was going to go but at the same time excited about the possibilities that he and Lucy had together. When he got to her door he stopped and stood outside a few minutes trying to muster up the nerve to actually knock. He never needed it because Lucy opened it while he stood there.
She was somewhat startled to see him there. "John, hello. Please come in." "She looks absolutely radiant," he thought. Her hair was down around her shoulders, hiding some of the scars and bruises from the incident, she was wearing a red tank top and a short blue jean skirt, she didn't have on any shoes but her toes matched her shirt perfectly.
He walks in and she closes the door behind him. "You look great. Like always though."
A big smile crossed her face and she threw her arms around him. "Oh, don't you say the sweetest things. I hope you like what I made for dinner. It's kind of simple." She keeps talking as she walks into the kitchen and he follows her.
"What did you make?" he asks as he opens a pot to look inside.
"It's just spaghetti." She stops scurrying around the kitchen fixing dinner to watch him. "I love you."
"I love you, too. It's too early for seriousness though, let's leave that for later on tonight."
"What shall we discuss then, Dr. Carter?" she teases him.
"I guess we've skipped the formalities so we can go back and take care of that. How are you doing today, Miss Knight?"
Her blue eyes look up at him with a very serious gaze, "That is a question that has too serious of an answer."
He walks over and wraps his arm around her tiny frame. "Lucy, talk to me. Let me help you. Let me be strong for you. Trust me." At first she stiffen at his touch but then later softens and finally collapses into his arms. Carter lifts her up and carries her to the couch sitting her on it and sitting next to her. "Dinner can wait until we finish talking. Tell me about it." Tears start to escape from her eyes as she desperately tries to keep her composure.
"I don't want to talk about it," she whispers.
"I know but I think that you have too. It will make you feel better."
She scoots over closer to him and rests her head on his shoulder as the story starts to pour out of her. Her protectively puts his arms around her as he listens to the gruesome details of her attack. The rage builds inside him as she describes how horrific the pain was and how he hit her and how she was terrified that he was going to kill her. When she finished her story they laid there crying together for a half and hour. John kissed the top of her head and wispered in her ear, "As long as I'm alive I promise to protect you."
"I'm scared that he's going to come back to get me."
"Not while I'm around he won't."
She smiles up at him very timidly, "Would you spend the night here? With me? I'm scared of the dark."
"Absolutely."
Over dinner and for the rest of the evening they talked. They talked like old friends catching up on old times. Favorite movies, places they wanted to see, things they wanted to do, embarrassing things that they've done, worst dates, and on. The conversation flowed with ease and they both knew that they had found their forever with each other. Night soon approached and it was time to sleep. Neither wanted to bring up the subject not knowing how to deal with the situation. They turned to look at each other with some unease. "So, if you have a blanket and I pillow I can just make myself comfortable on the couch," John finally said broaching the subject.
She started to laugh as she looked at the couch. "John, you couldn't fit on that thing to save your life!"
"Well, I'm not having you spend the night on the couch in your own place."
"I don't plan on either of us spending the night on the couch," she announced as he headed to the bedroom. The words registered in his head and he started to notice that familiar feeling in his groin. He knew that she didn't intend to have sex with him but the words were still ringing in his ears. When he got himself settled down he followed her to the bedroom. She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth and he didn't think that she noticed him come into the room. He quietly slipped his trousers, suspenders, tie and dress shirt on the back of the chair leaving him clad only in his green plaid boxers and a white T-shirt.
"Not going to take it all off?" she teased him. He jumped at least three feet at the sound of her voice. He looked at her as she mischievously smiled back at him.
"Were you watching me?" he asked. All he received from her was a nod in reply. He shook his head and climbed into her bed, "You little voyeur. Who knew." She turns off the light to the bathroom and starts to giggle.
"I'm also an exhibitionist." All he can do is watch as she goes over to her dresser and take out a long silk baby blue nightgown. He had seen her change into it at least a dozen times through the window of her bedroom. She knew that he was watching and he didn't even try to hide the fact that he was. Slowly and deliberately she removed the tank top and tossed it on floor. Soon afterwards her skirt ended up on the floor next to it. He held his breath waiting to see what else would come off. She didn't disappoint him. It turned out that all she wore to bed was the blue nightgown. That was incredibly interesting to him because from all the time that he had watched her he had never realized that she didn't wear anything underneath. "Interesting," he murmurs.
"What's interesting?" she asked as she slipped under the covers next to him. Apparently the little strip show had interested him. That was very comforting to her as she snuggled up closer to him. She had been so worried that even though he loved her he wouldn't find her attractive because of all her bruises and scars.
"I love you," he tells her as he drifts off too sleep.
"I love you too," she replies feeling completely safe and warm in his arms.
It wasn't the front door being kicked open that woke them up but instead the sound of a vase in her living room being knocked over. Lucy clung to him shaking as she waited for the bedroom door to open. Seconds later it did as Paul Sobricki entered their lives again. Everything moved so fast that later she had a hard time giving a statement on what happened. Metal flashed in the moonlight. A gun? A knife? It was too dark to tell. Lucy screamed. John jumped out of bed and charged him. Gunshots. Was it three or four shots? She tried to count.
The only thing that she could accurately remember was seeing John's body crumble lifelessly to the floor. She made eye contact with Paul and watched as he looked back at her. He too fell to the floor in a heap. The paramedics and the cops showed up at the same time. They showed up as she was performing CPR on John.
"Please help him," she begged, "Take him to County General now."
Everything was still a blur. Riding in the ambulance with Carter. Talking to the cops. Seeing the look on Malucci's as they rolled John in on a gurney. Romano taking him upstairs to do surgery to see if they could save him. He was hit in the chest twice by a 9mm. Paul was DOA. He had been shot once straight through the heart. When the police finished questioning her she retreated to the lounge to sit and wait for word on Carter.
Upstairs, the best surgical team in Chicago worked tirelessly to save him. There were a few close calls but he came through. Eventually, he stabilized and was moved to a post-op room to recover and wake up. The doctors in the ER drew straws to see who would get to wait with him to wake up, Dave won. He talked to him as he was waiting for him to wake up.
"Carter, you better hurry up and wake up. Lucy's down there wearing nothing but this slinky blue nightgown."
He paused to see if there was any reaction from him. When there wasn't he continued talking.
"Seriously man, I don't think that's she's wearing any underwear." Dave laughed to himself. If Carter was awake he would kill him for talking like that. "On a more serious note I want to apologize for how I acted earlier. If it wasn't for you, Lucy would be dead right not. I'm probably not going to say this when you're awake or anything because I've got my pride and all but I'm really happy for you too. I was wrong about you, you're a hero.'
Still no reaction from Carter. Running out of things to say to him, Dave sat in silence in the recover room waiting for him to wake up. When he did Dave didn't even notice though until Cater said something.
"Oh, don't tell me," he moaned, still groggy from the medicine, "I've died and gone to hell, because I know that you aren't an angel Malucchi."
Some of the tension between them returned for a moment as their eyes met and their competitiveness was remembered.
Malucchi laughed, "Carter, your angel is downstairs waiting. Do you feel up to me going and getting her?"
"Dave if you went and got her for me then to hell with angels because you are a saint." They started laughing and all uneasiness between them was forgotten.
"Does this mean that we are going to have to be friends or something?" Dave teased him.
"Probably, but that doesn't mean that I want to be on a first name basis with you, Malucci."
"Never Carter," he replied as he went downstairs to get Lucy.
The end.
