Wow, delays. Actually, the primary hold up to this being posted was just being unable to get on . Here's hoping my access holds out so I can upload more chapters later.
Many thanks to 630Kila and Invader Demeter for beta-reading. They keep me honest.
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Dib was dreaming.
He wasn't sure how he knew - after all, his entire life had been nothing short of surreal - but it was the first thing to cross his mind when he opened his eyes to the familiar sight of his bedroom. 'This isn't real...' Slowly he sat up, the movement knocking his laptop to the side. It lingered precariously on the edge of the bed for a moment before falling to the floor in a slow lurching tumble. The crack of the metal casing coming into contact with the ground made him flinch and he pulled himself to the edge to look over.
'I don't remember the bed being so high up,' he thought as he peered downward. The impact had knocked his laptop open and the blue glow of the screen reflected on his skin as he slid to the floor. He reached out carefully and drew the laptop to his chest; the warm thrum of the computer's processor was like a second heartbeat. As the vestiges of his brief panic finally subsided, the two rhythms aligned until he couldn't tell the difference between them anymore.
His gaze flitted across the room - the paranormal paraphernalia sticking out in his mind as being somehow wrong. Files were scattered across his desk, a few of them lying open on the ground where they'd slid off. A flash of green caught his eye and he knelt carefully, catching the edge of a photo between his fingers and drawing it out from beneath the pile of papers. It was a picture of Zim. Dib's eyes widened, his grip on the laptop tightening a fraction as he looked at the photo – it was a little blurred, from having been taken in the midst of trying to dodge some trap of the Invader's, but still completely identifiable. He had a thousand pictures like this.
He set it down on the desk, wondering why it bothered him so much when this was all just a dream. Part of him was already bracing for some kind of nightmare material – the way his life had been going lately it would only make sense. As he crossed back towards the window he froze mid-step as he saw his own reflection in the mirror. Dib had an uncanny sense of deja vu as he altered his course, approaching the reflective surface with his laptop drawn protectively against his chest.
There was nothing amiss. He was clad in the familiar black of his youth, everything in place just as he remembered it to be. His amber eyes narrowed behind his thick glasses as he regarded his reflection with a deep suspicion nonetheless, more than half expecting it to leap out at him. When it still did nothing, Dib sighed – the waiting was worse than any horror could have been, and the longer nothing happened, the more the sense of this being a dream faded. Would a dream be this mundane?
With a soft noise of disgust, Dib turned his back on the mirror and padded back to the bed, tossing his laptop carelessly onto the blue coverlet before dropping to his knees beside the bed and reaching underneath, digging around for his camera.
The soft whisper of something shifting made him stiffen immediately. His head darted around so quickly that it sent pain flaring through his neck as he stared back at the mirror through narrowed eyes. The dark blue curtains of his window stirred again, and he saw the fluttering edge of the photo he'd left sitting on the desk brushing up against the smooth surface of the mirror where it had been blown. As it fluttered, it scraped audibly against the glass, and Dib grimaced softly as embarrassment flitted through him. Of course.
Easing himself back to his feet, he made his way back to the mirror, snatching the picture up in one hand and crumpling it impatiently. A corner of the paper sliced across his finger with a flash of surprisingly real pain and he hissed sharply as he let it drop, clutching his hand to his chest and glaring down at the thin line of blood beginning to well up at the edges of the small cut. The wadded up photo fell to the floor at his feet as he raised his finger to his lips to suck on it.
His breath caught in his throat as his eyes drifted up along the length of his own reflection and something didn't quite mesh. The expression on his mirrored counterpart was a disturbingly familiar smirk, which only widened as Dib let his injured finger slide from between his lips. As the black-clad young man took a step backwards, the echoed version took a step forward.
His legs were more shaky than he would have expected as he bumped up against the side of his bed, reminding himself the entire time that this was all just some kind of messed up dream – that there was nothing to be freaked out over. His brain might have been screaming out this logic, but the message wasn't getting through to the rest of him. One hand fumbled around behind him, finding the soft coverlet, seeking something more substantial. Cold metal brushed against the corners of his fingers and he grasped it immediately.
In the mirror, his doppelganger was now up against the glass and there was something unsettlingly predatory about the face that was a perfect match for his own. Dib wasn't about to wait to see if this dream was going to become a full blown nightmare. Gritting his teeth, he hefted the laptop with as much force as he could muster – a perfect shot, despite his burgeoning panic. Metal met glass and won: the mirror exploding outward in a rain of jagged pieces, a million echoes of himself. To his addled mind it only multiplied further, shards within shards, an infinity of universes – of Dib. He had the brief, dizzying sensation of looking at himself from the outside and from the inside simultaneously and it was a feeling his mind balked at trying to reconcile.
Dib tried to tear his gaze away, fixate on something – anything – else. As the first pieces of glass hit the floor with a patter of soft 'tings', his eyes fluttered downward. Before his eyes, the figures in the mirror fragments took on a different aspect, glinting green with the reflection of the partially crumpled photo on the floor. For a moment the two bled together, melting from his own reflection to the manically grinning form of his adversary. The image burned itself into his memory, even as the rest of his surroundings faded into whiteness around him.
~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~
Penumbra
*
penumbra \pə-ˈnəm-brə\ (n)
1.A partial shadow between a region of
full shadow and a region of full illumination.
2.An area within which distinction or resolution
is difficult or uncertain.
~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~
~A Priori~
See you with your heartache
Got no one left to call
You're hanging by a thread, babe
Just waiting for the fall
- "Scissors"
Golden eyes snapped open – the entire world blurring for the few seconds it took his vision to snap back into focus. Dib's heart was pounding, the only outward evidence of his state of near panic. He forced himself to take a slow breath, struggling to force some semblance of calm upon himself. It was harder than he would have expected, partially because the simple act of breathing made his entire body ache in a way that was nauseatingly familiar. He raised one hand to his chest, flinching a little as his fingers brushed across the spot where the metal tube had been. It had slowly become covered over with a thin layer of scar tissue, a sandpaper textured blemish that was felt more than seen. Perhaps it was entirely psychological, but it was so sensitive that simply touching it made him want to double up.
He could only be grateful that Zim wasn't witness to his moment of weakness – the seconds stretching out painfully as he bit his lip and clenched his fingers against his palms. At last the overriding sense of panic dissipated and he slumped back against the seat, sweat clinging to his skin. As he slowly unclenched his hands, he gasped at the burst of sharp pain that flickered through his index finger. Shifting a little to raise it to his mouth, he blinked as he noticed no sign of any sort of injury. The stinging throb lasted only a few seconds before it faded as well, leaving Dib sitting there, staring down at his hands with an expression of blank surprise.
Flexing his fingers, he grimaced, letting the side of his head bump against the cool curve of the clear bubble surrounding the small cockpit. His chest wasn't the only thing that hurt – his entire body protested the cramped conditions, and the lack of anything to eat but whatever random food-like substances that Zim had neglected to remove from the Voot's storage before he'd been captured. It wasn't anything the human recognized, but he was wise enough not to even try asking. It tasted like cardboard and it hadn't killed him yet – finding out what it was would only serve to make it completely unpalatable, and Dib wasn't sure he wanted to die of starvation just yet. Given another couple of weeks like this, though, and he couldn't be sure that death wouldn't become a rather tempting option.
Raising one hand, he rubbed at his injured wrist, feeling the slight uneven quality of the healing bone and hesitating. Even a relative know-nothing in the field of medicine would know that it was mending wrong – that the only thing he could do at this point was to break the bone and start over...
But Dib had already suffered through that particular agony once and he wasn't looking forward to doing so again. Besides, he reasoned, it wasn't like he was a doctor. If he tried to break it and set it himself, he might only wind up damaging the bones and muscles so badly that he could lose his hand. It wasn't worth it, he thought, his gaze darting to Zim, brows furrowed a little in frustration and more than a hint of envy.
All this time wandering around aimlessly in space, pointed in the general direction of wherever the hell Zim's homeworld was supposed to be, and Dib's hurts were barely scabbed over. Meanwhile, the former Invader's constant time spent in 'sleep mode' or whatever he called it, had managed a remarkable turnaround. The largest wound, the one that split the alien from neck to abdomen, had knitted together. The resulting scar was a knotted line of darker green, marring his skin, but still...
Dib could tell himself that Zim had it no better than he did, but there was nothing he could do to make himself seriously believe it. The worst thing of all about the whole mess was that it was still easier to contemplate how much he was starting to hate Zim for being tougher than a human, than to try and delve into the frightening mishmash of his own fears.
He was losing his mind.
No easy way around it... no dismissing it as a brief lapse of some kind. Dib could feel his grip on reality slipping with each passing day and Zim was to blame. The sense of someone whispering in his head had faded a little, but it left in its wake a sort of low, constant hum. He had yet to find an effective way to tune it out, and it was driving him batty. To make matters worse, his already poor sleeping habits were slipping further – the nightmare that had woken him was the first dream he'd had in a while, but given the way things were already coming unraveled, he suspected it would be far from the last...
He closed his eyes, suppressing the urge to drive his fist against the glass. With his head still resting against the protective bubble, he felt more than heard when something small and hard came into contact with the hull, sending vibrations through the dome. His eyes opened into narrow slits for a second, then he straightened up quickly enough that it sent Zim tumbling backwards into the small gap between Dib's knees and the floor of the craft.
Another impact came, a bit sharper this time, harder, and it was all Dib could do to brace his arm against the side of the Voot and stare. He didn't think he'd been so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he could exactly miss the moment where they'd wandered out of open space and into the corridor of drifting rocks that surrounded them now. Asteroids sailed serenely past them; they would have been majestic viewed from afar, but trapped among them, Dib could only feel a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. He reached for the controls, hesitated again, then shifted his leg, bumping his foot against Zim's still prone form.
"Zim!" His words garnered nothing but a faint twitch of one antenna. Not willing to wait and see just how large a rock it would take to turn their ship into a grubby little smear, Dib reached down and grabbed hold of the Irken. There wasn't any easy way to grip Zim, since the former Invader was still bereft of anything resembling clothing. Long, pale fingers closed around the alien's neck, dragging the small form up bodily, the frantic motions of Dib's hands shaking Zim with a desperate intensity. "Wake up! We're about to get flattened! Zim!"
The Invader blinked slowly, only just beginning to stir. Antennae gave a slight, convulsive twitch as Zim squirmed a little in Dib's grasp. There was no awareness in his gaze though, the motions lacking any comprehension. Spurred by the very real fear of being pummeled by asteroids, Dib didn't hesitate. Bringing his hand up in a sharp motion, he slammed Zim against the side of the glass – the blow hard enough to send vibrations down his arm and set his wrist to throbbing.
Immediately, claws sank into his arm, the small alien screeching in protest. It came out as a garble of sounds that finally untangled itself into actual words. "What do you think you're doing, Earthstink?!" Dib didn't flinch as Zim snarled right in his face, his fingers tightening their grip on his former rival's neck.
"Fight later, Zim! Just get us out of here!" He ground the Invader's face a bit more firmly against the glass and was rewarded as Zim fell still for a moment, magenta eyes going wide at the sight of the asteroid belt surrounding them. This time when he squirmed in Dib's grasp, the human released him immediately. As Zim crouched over the controls, Dib gripped at the edges of the seat, gritting his teeth until his jaw began to ache.
Whatever Dib might have thought of Zim's piloting, the alien was possessed of what a human might call 'dumb luck'. Dib would have over-thought things, found himself clutching in the midst of some decision. Zim had no such problem – if there was any method to the Irken's madness, Dib wasn't sure he wanted to know it. The small green form perched across his knees was coiled like a spring, hands a blur of motion across the controls as he sent the tiny vessel careening wildly among the rocks.
Lips drawn back to expose the jagged line of his teeth, Zim angled them towards the nearest expanse of clear space – only a short distance away, they could see it, but getting there was taking an eternity.
Closer... closer... so close. Yet, so far... as two asteroids, each easily fifty times the size of Zim's Voot, drifted towards each other, their collision point directly in the path of the Irken ship. "Uh... Zim?" Dib's gaze darted from the towering monoliths bearing down on them to his former enemy. Only a lunatic or a total idiot would have attempted a suicide run between the two looming pillars of rock. He wanted nothing to do with it – and he reveled in this small evidence of his continued sanity before he realized that Zim had no intention of swerving to avoid the boulders. "What are you doing?!" He was reaching out for the controls himself when the Irken's elbow hit him in the throat.
He doubled up, one hand clutching at his throat as he was briefly consumed in some of the most panic-inducing agony he'd ever felt. Dying hadn't hurt this much. His amber eyes were narrowed into thin slits as he struggled to draw a breath that didn't feel like liquid fire running down his windpipe. There was nothing wrong with his vision though, so he had a perfect view as Zim plowed them headlong towards their doom.
If he lived though this, he was going to kill Zim. Dib drew a rasping breath between his teeth, the pain finally beginning to subside. In front of the ship, the two asteroids were drawing closer, the gap between them narrowing. The Voot was just outside the danger zone, too late to stop. Clenching the fingers of his free hand against his leg, the human watched. Reddish light from the console warred with the soft green glow emanating gently from beneath the seat, turning the cockpit a sickly shade of brown as the walls closed in around them. Zim's head jerked up, his thin shoulders trembling with laughter or panic and Dib's gaze shifted from the threat of impending rocky death to fix on his unwitting companion. It really wasn't the best time for Zim to be getting cold feet about this plan.
"Hey, Zim!" He barked, a passable mimicry of his skool-era battle cry. "Don't forget, if you screw this up and get us killed, I still win by default!" The Irken's antennae went straight up at that and Dib could see the way his shoulders were tensing. In his head he could picture Zim's expression perfectly, the way magenta eyes narrowed into thin slits, the baring of jagged teeth. Even now, it made him want to laugh, although he resisted the temptation. Pushing Zim too far would only result in a scuffle and them becoming a smear on one of the rocks. There was no guarantee that the former invader wouldn't still do such a thing, out of stupidity or spite, but that was the nature of a gamble.
The little green alien leaned over the controls again, antennae pressed flat against the back of his head, hands gliding across the lit console. There was something different about his motions – a sharp focus that had been lacking before. Dib understood: to die would have been bad enough, but humiliation... to be seen as a failure in front of his mortal enemy... friend... whatever the hell they were, was a fate worse than death. His golden eyes were locked on Zim, ignoring the movement in his peripheral vision. A rain of hand-sized chunks of rock bounced off the glass but neither of them flinched.
The asteroids closed in – a length away, a half-length, an arm's reach – the exit beckoning them, ever closer. There was the brief scrape of metal against stone as the opening narrowed down to a thin tunnel of shifting and grinding rock, a heartbeat of stillness and then the Voot careened from the tiny exit in a cascade of dust and rocks. For a moment they were in a vicious tailspin, both inhabitants clinging for dear life as the universe whirled around them. Slowly the stabilizers kicked in and drew their motion to a halt.
Dib slumped in the seat, raising both hands to his head with a low groan as he tried to combat both the overwhelming sense of vertigo and the nausea it brought along with it. He could feel Zim shifting on his knee and he didn't have the energy to care. The alien was radiating smugness and for once Dib was tempted to let him just have his victory – it wasn't like there was anything important at stake, and Zim had saved their lives...
"Victory! Victory for Zim!" The Irken rounded on him, a gloating grin on his face. "Foolish Earthstink – there is nothing that Zim cannot do! Bow before the brilliance and superior skills of Zim!"
Lips quirked a little at that, his mind warring between annoyance and amusement with the former winning out after a few seconds. "If that's your idea of brilliant Zim, I don't want to hear what you consider to be a 'bad' plan."
"Eh?" Magenta eyes flitted to him and Zim blinked rapidly in dawning confusion. "What's that?"
"Well, for one thing, you sent us careening in-between two giant asteroids when we could have gone around." He began dryly, "-which seems pretty stupid if you ask me. You almost got us killed, Zim!"
"Silence!" The Irken hissed, bristling at Dib's words. Obviously he'd been expecting some kind of praise, but Dib wasn't planning to oblige. His tolerance for idiocy had taken a severe blow with all the time spent in this cramped little space in close proximity with Zim. This was no way to live. Maybe an Irken Invader could deal with the mind-numbing boredom, but Dib couldn't. It was bad enough that he was slowly going insane, he didn't need to have things helped along.
"You shut up, Zim." His words were more weary than anything else. "Just... for once... okay? I don't want to hear it right now." Leaning back in the seat, Dib draped an arm across his eyes, groaning. He was off to a fine start today, between the dream and almost being squashed, he wasn't much looking forward to what else his abysmal luck might have to offer.
It was the wrong thing to say. Dib didn't need the long silence to tell him that – he simply knew. Raising his arm away from his face, he looked down at the Irken who was crouched on his knee, amber eyes widening a little. He couldn't recall any time in the past where he'd seen Zim with that expression before. His newfound understanding of the alien provided him with some insight. His former enemy would not have minded further insults, would only have come back with some cutting words of his own. They might even have fought, and that was fine – it was even expected. But the one thing that Zim absolutely could not stand – not in the slightest – was being dismissed. Being ignored.
He might have apologized if Zim had given him the chance, but the Invader launched at him, small green hands clawing at the human's vulnerable face and throat. Self-preservation instincts kicked in and Dib snarled in response, his elbow hitting Zim in his healing midsection while he grabbed hold of one of Zim's arms. The two of them struggled, Dib hissing as he felt the blood beading at his temple where the alien had managed to claw him. Zim was small, but it seemed like he was everywhere, a tiny wriggling and clawing spitfire who was determined to take some recompense for the insult out of Dib's hide.
One hand found an antennae, gripping it viciously as he tried to wrest the Irken away to arm's length before Zim could claw him to ribbons any further. Short, pithy words were tumbling from the former invader's lips as he struggled in Dib's grasp and the human hesitated just a second before tightening his hold and twisting Zim around, slamming the Invader down against the side of the navigation console with enough force to stun him.
"Warning!" The computer blared abruptly, making both of the combatants jump. It wasn't the base computer, but the voice... the voice was the same. Dib couldn't help reflexively hunching a little in his seat, his heartbeat speeding erratically in his chest. Zim slumped to the floor as soon as Dib's grip on him loosened, coughing and sputtering.
"Stinking earth monkey!" Zim snarled, raising his head to glare at Dib. His words cut off before he could finish whatever he'd been planning to say, magenta eyes widening in alarm.
For the second time in less than an hour, Dib found himself wondering how he'd missed the obvious.
The ship in front of them was not large. Large would have been an understatement. It wasn't quite as huge as the asteroids they'd narrowly escaped, but it made an honest effort and easily dwarfed the single-person craft that Zim and Dib were occupying. A high pitched beeping drew their attention down to the controls where the communication light was flicking urgently.
Numbly, Dib reached out and hit the button, almost jumping as the clear overhead bubble was replaced with a projection from the other ship. The two aliens were not one of the – admittedly few – alien races that Dib was familiar with. Their bodies were a bluish-grey, their elongated heads looked like misshapen potatoes. Well, except for the mass of tentacles along their lower jaws that most resembled a beard – a wriggling, blue-grey beard. The smooth expanses of their foreheads wrinkled alarmingly as they caught their first glimpse of Dib and Zim.
"Irken!" one of them intoned in a voice like a walrus blowing its nose. "You dare to bring your conquest into this quadrant, insect?!"
Zim made a soft noise that Dib recognized as surprise. He was a little intrigued himself. Whatever he thought of the alien's transparent attempts at blending in and conquering humankind from within, it had always been implied that the other invaders were more competent. Well, if one believed anything that Tak said, anyway...
He hadn't trusted her once he discovered she was really a member of the exact same species as Zim, but given her genuine hatred of the little invader, it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility that she had some genuine grievance. And she had been head and shoulders above Zim when it came to blending in with the general populace. In hindsight there was no reason to think that his adversary had been anything but a joke to his own people. They hadn't come to save him, after all.
Dib had been the one to do that...
In any case, for a supposedly covert attempt at galactic takeover, it seemed a bit... well... notorious, if the reactions of these aliens was any indication.
While Dib was pondering the Irken methodology, Zim was staring at the aliens on the screen without a single hint of recognition on his face. "Eh?"
The lack of a response only infuriated the two aliens, their tentacles quivering with rage. "Do you take us for fools? If the Resisty does not overthrow your corrupt regime, eventually another will come who does!" Their voices reverberated through the small craft – deep, bellowing bursts of sound.
"...eh?"
It was a simple matter for Dib to recognize Zim's expression as being one of genuine confusion, but the inhabitants of the ship in front of them took it as some kind of mockery. "We will vaporize your pathetic little ship, Insect – and you along with it!" They shifted, moving to fiddle with some kind of controls, and Dib realized that he had to do something immediately. After narrowly avoiding being squashed, being vaporized just sounded even less appealing.
"It's my ship!" He shot back quickly, grabbing hold of Zim and slapping a hand over the Irken's mouth.
His spur of the moment interruption succeeded in one regard, it made the aliens hesitate, squinting at him as though seeing him for the first time. "You?!" There was a round of suspicious squishy noises passed between the two before they turned back to him, voices shriller than before, demanding. "Who are you?!"
"Me?" There was little chance of them actually recognizing his race, much less his name, but he was loathe to simply tell them. For one thing, it wasn't leaving himself with any easy out in case they should decide to take a dislike to him later on down the line – providing that he and Zim even lived through the next few minutes, of course. Still, he had to think about the future, just in case there was one in store for him. "I'm... uh..." His mind totally collapsed on him, drawing an utter blank. In a moment of pure ludicrousness, the only thing that was echoing about in the empty chasm of his thoughts was the tune to an infuriatingly familiar song. If I Only Had a Brain... how oddly appropriate. He didn't even like the cruddy old movie it was from... Fantastical nonsense! The Wizard of-
"Oz!" The name slipped past his lips before he could catch it, before he could even think about just how stupid it was. Even Zim must have been on Earth long enough to recognize that particular bit of bovine excrement for what it was, the way his head turned so quickly. Dib did his best to ignore the look Zim was giving him – astonishment that couldn't help but be tempered with a bit of mean-spirited humour.
"Oz?" The two aliens looked at each other, their lumpy faces scrunching up until their eyes practically disappeared in the thousands of tiny wrinkles. One of them wriggled the beard-like tentacles hanging along the underside of its jaw, agitation clear as it moved its head closer to its companion. A series of quiet, squishy clucks passed between them before the larger of the two straightened up again. "We know of no... Oz." It replied, the upper half of its face compacting downward, like a person furrowing their brows. A cold sweat broke out on the back of Dib's neck, his body stiffening slightly as a few droplets trickled down between his shoulder blades.
He wasn't expecting Zim to move so quickly, the shift catching him entirely off-guard as the Irken clambered up his back to perch on his shoulder, antennae bristling. Dib twisted a little in his seat, eyes going wide behind the thick lenses of his glasses. It occurred to him in that instant that he should stop Zim before he made the situation worse. These aliens didn't like Irkens, didn't even know what a human was. All he needed now was for Zim to say something that would set these two to blasting at them.
He knew this... but he couldn't move a muscle.
Magenta eyes blazed as the Irken confronted their two assailants, haughtily, completely unabashed despite his weak, battered and bare form. "Fools! Have you not heard of OZ, the Great and Terrible?!" Zim exposed his teeth in a wide sneer, "Your feeble brainmeats would melt if you tried to comprehend the sheer magnitude of his awesome might!"
Dib jerked his head to stare at Zim in stunned surprise. The Irken didn't even acknowledge him, his intense stare still fixed on the two aliens. Dib felt his own brain threatening to dissolve with the dawning realization that not only were they listening to Zim – not only were they not immediately giving the order to blast the Voot into its molecular components – they were actually considering his words seriously. It was all Dib could do not to let his jaw drop open in stupefied shock as the two aliens flinched back a little under Zim's verbal lashing, glancing from Dib to his Irken companion with confusion marring their wrinkled faces.
"Ah... Oz!" One of the aliens gave a burbling hoot, straightening up in his seat and wriggling his tentacles enthusiastically. Its eyes crinkled, an expression that Dib assumed indicated it was pleased, "Yes, we remember Oz. Famed bounty hunter, Oz! No one has ever seen a holo of you, so we didn't recognize you at first. Forgive us." Both of them lowered their heads in respectful bows as Dib sat there confounded. He opened his mouth to say something – he wasn't sure what – and was halted by a sharp elbow to his gut, driving the air from his lungs. He cast Zim a dirty look as he tried not to wheeze too obviously, curiousity spiking through him as he noticed the wide smirk on the former invader's face.
"Um... yeah..." Dib croaked, mentally floundering around for what to say. What would a famed bounty hunter do in this situation? "I prefer to keep the details of my identity a secret." Lame, but they swallowed the excuse hook, line and sinker.
"We understand!" The larger of the two bleated in his sloshy tones. "With an occupation like yours, there must be a great need for secrecy." Having convinced themselves of Dib's lofty status, they wasted no time in reversing their earlier attitude toward him. "Is the Irken a recent capture of yours then, Great Oz?"
He didn't need to see Zim's expression to tell how frustrated the once-invader was. The victory Dib had tried in vain to obtain for four years back on earth had just been dropped into his lap. All the struggling, the endless battles between the two of them and it came down to something as simple as a spur of the moment name-change. Neither he nor Zim could change it either – not without being disintegrated by irate, wrinkly aliens. This was not how he'd pictured winning...
An odd sense of discomfort went through him and he had to keep himself from squirming in his seat. "Don't scoff. He um... was a wily one. I've been chasing him for ten years." The Irken twisted around, coming out of his huddle long enough to stare at Dib with disbelief and something that might have been a faint hint of gratitude. Dib ignored him – figuring that a cold-blooded bounty hunter probably wouldn't show too much concern for a captive. If he didn't play this convincingly, it would only get the both of them killed. He could apologize to Zim later... maybe.
"Our readings indicate that your ship has sustained some damage in combat."
It took a few seconds for Dib to realize they were waiting for him to verify their findings. There was no reason to think their readings were wrong – besides, he didn't have any way of knowing what exactly on the console showed the damage they'd taken from their run-in with the asteroids – so he just nodded. "Uh... yeah. Combat. With... um... ships and robots... and... a... a hamster!" He struggled his way through the first few random items of mass destruction that came to mind.
"Hamster?"
"Uh... yeah. A horrible monster – it destroys entire civilizations." He bluffed, semi-confident that there was no way they could catch him in the lie. How could they have even heard of a hamster before?
Every word he said only increased the awe in their gazes, their enthusiasm growing by the second. "Please allow us to escort you back to Eis Dogia Station, O Venerable and Fearsome Oz. We have many friends there who would be willing to assist such a dedicated enemy of the Empire."
Zim's glare was boring into the Dib's skull, but he chose to ignore it. Whatever his former adversary thought about the situation, they needed food and repairs. Not to mention the even more vital need to get out of this cramped little ship and give each other some space before one or both of them wound up dead. "That would be great!"
The sputtering and grumbling coming from his small companion went completely ignored as the two other aliens chorused enthusiastically. Once the ear-splitting sound had ceased somewhat, the larger one addressed Dib again, "Then just follow us, Mighty Oz. Eis Dogia is not far." The communication closed with a soft bleep, a smiley face appearing briefly on the viewing area before fading and leaving the bubble clear once again.
Dib waited until the transmission cut off completely before turning his head to look askance at the Irken. "Not that I'm complaining, but why am I suddenly the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter?"
The former invader narrowed his magenta eyes, scorn dripping from his words. "Clearly your brainmeats are inferior to my own, Dib-worm, if you don't know the answer to that! Obviously only the most awesome of bounty hunters could ever hope to capture Zim!"
"Right." Dib's lips twisted in a sardonic grin. "Of course. I don't know why I didn't think of that myself."
"Because your feeble mind is riddled with holes, earth-stink!"
His hands were cramping, and Dib uncurled them from the tight fists he'd pulled them into. He hadn't even realized he was doing it. All traces of his earlier humour had fizzled out and he raised his fingers to rest against his temples, grimacing. "Whatever, Zim..." He gritted through his teeth, wondering why the alien could get under his skin so easily. 'I might be losing my mind, but it's not gone yet...' His mental reassurances were shaky at best, and he let his head rest against the clear curve of the bubble dome. "Just shut up and drive, Zim.." He closed his eyes, the swirling colours behind his lids now flushed to the same green that plagued his dreams.
~ Fin.01 ~
