YOU GUYS.
So, I was cleaning out my desktop when I stumbled on this multi-chaptered jily fic that I wrote in 2008. I was probably 15/16 years old when I wrote this. I'm 27 now.
I decided it'd be fun to show you guys how far I've come as a writer and how far my Lily and James have come. Lily and James have both grown up with me, as you'll be able to tell when comparing this fic to my current ones.
I'm uploading the first half today and the second half tomorrow.
I hope you get a laugh out of it like I did...
Just Another Love Story
Chapter 1: I am not writing a love story because love is a game I cannot play (just kidding, this is a love story)
Lily Evans stared at James Potter in disbelief.
She kept wondering if he was bloody joking.
His hazel eyes displayed a hint of mischief as the wind swirled through his dark thick hair. Meanwhile, Lily's red hair was not helping her maintain eye contact as it kept slapping her cheeks like a whip. Frustrated, Lily pushed her wet hair back with one hand and shook her head as his lips curved up at her hesitance. Rain was slashing down on the couple and Lily's cloak was soaked through. She could only imagine he was colder than she was since he wore the thin Gryffindor Quidditch robes that did little in the way of protection from the elements.
McGonagall had seen James practicing and as such, sent Lily to get him off the field because she was the closest student to order into such a task. Lily had tried to fight her, not wanting to get caught in the storm but McGonagall's response had been unsympathetic. She'd assumed Lily could get James off the field in time before the sheets of rain started to fall but she'd forgotten one crucial fact: no one could make James Potter do anything he didn't want too.
"Come on, just one little ride." James begged, showing Lily his hand again as he hovered low to the ground.
Lily took a step back, the grass squishing between her feet. Through the mirrored image in his goggles Lily saw that her face was cracked into a playful smile and she was also batting her green eyes flirtatiously. She is acting like a fourth year in love but doesn't give a damn because he was flirting back.
"I'd rather not." Lily lies to him, keeping him on his toes.
"It'll be fun." He guarantees, "Just one little ride.
"In a thunder storm?" Lily raises her eyebrow at him, "Besides, we can't bothfit on your cleensweep."
A hint of defiance crosses his features and Lily imagines he's wondering if he can pull her onto the broom himself. Lily is only encouraging him, really. Lily swept her free hand back a second time to control the mess red hair and repeats what she had said when she first found him, "I came out here to tell you a storm is coming and you can't fly now, McGonagall herself sent me."
"Lily." James looks amused by her persistence, "The storm is already here."
As if to prove his point thunder clashed not far off, making Lily jump. Lily is surprised to see James' mouth finally tilt into a frown, worry crinkling his brow. Rain is falling in sheets and Lily swears that if it weren't for the lights on the quidditch field, the sky would be pitch black. Lightening flew through the clouds and Lily takes a calculated step towards the protection of the castle.
James pulls off his goggles to reveal his vexed glance at the sky, "Well, I guess I have to follow the rules so I don't get a detention from you."
Lily scoffs at his mocking tone.
"I'm not Head Girl…"
"Yet." James swung his leg off his broom and Lily swears that he knocks shoulders with her purposely.
"Alright, Head Boy." She teases him.
James rolls his eyes as he swings his broomstick over his shoulder, "Fine then, at least walk with me back to the castle."
Lightening clashes again only kilometers away. Lily looks down at her watch (it would soon not work due to the amount of rainwater it was taking on) it was quarter past five in the afternoon. She is definitely going to be late for dinner with Marlene. James is purposely evading her mention of Head Boy but she notices the smile on his face as he steps into place beside her. Lily sighs happily as James matches her step for step back to the castle.
"So that Transfiguration lecture was brutal, did you manage to understand the point?" James asks, despite knowing she understood the point well enough.
"Something about the tone of voice conveying magical properties?" Lily nudges his shoulder playfully, "Not paying attention again, eh, Potter?"
"Nah, I was too busy watching you make eyes at Patrick McPherson."
The castle loomed up in front of the couple, dark and foreboding thanks to the surrounding darkness. Lily decides to humor James' sly comment instead of wave it away like it was nothing.
"I was actually wondering why Pat was scribbling away to Amanda Hedgecomb." Lily tries to use her hand to black her face from the rain so she can grin at James, "I hear she's been handing out free tickets to Cricket Flyers' games to anyone who'll shag her." Lily moves her eyebrows suggestively at James.
James clucked his tongue in disgrace, "Who would take up an insulting deal like that?"
"Apparently, Patrick McPherson." Lily answers sourly.
"Then those two are made each other." James shrugs as they finally make it to the castle steps.
"Why?" Lily grins, waiting for his punch line.
"Because any idiot who thinks Flyer's tickets are worth a shag probably thinks the Flyer's are a great team." James opens the doors to the castle, "And they're so wrong."
Lily welcomes the relief of the dry castle air as she turns to tease James, "Oh come on Potter, they aren't that terrible."
"Lily," James says hotly, placing a hand out to help me up the steps, "The Flyers are two to fifteen and don't stand a wankers chance to—"
James Potter went still as the pair walked up the steps of the castle together, nostrils flaring. Severus Snape froze in the eves of the doorway when he realized whom the couple shaking themselves off in the Entrance Hall was. Severus' black eyes traced James with as much antagonistic nature as James was giving off. They hated each other, a blind rage ninety percent of the time.
Lily wrung out her hair and nodded civilly to James, placing a hand on his shoulder to draw his attention away from the Slytherin.
"You were complaining about the Flyers?" She reminds James with a soft tone.
James turns his head back to her, but it was almost reluctantly. Lily doesn't miss the unmistakable way James steps closer to her or the way his hand brushes hers. Not allowing James to act like some overprotective guard dog, Lily begins walking towards the staircase. Lily's nerves were on end just having both boys near each other.
James doesn't follow so Lily turns, sending him a weird glare, "Common room is this way James."
Before James could answer, two more boys enter the scene as the clambered down the stairs. The tallest one with a handsome face spotted Lily first and then grinned when he spotted James behind her.
"Hey mate!" Sirius Black was cool as a cucumber as he entered the scene, note even flickering his eyes slightly in the direction of Severus Snape.
The shorter boy, a sweet kid named Peter Pettigrew, grinned at Lily as he and Sirius passed, "Lo' Lily."
"Peter." Lily offers the boy a smile before crossing her arms when she saw James and Sirius high fiving.
"Where have you been?" Sirius was demanding.
"Quiditch Pitch with Lily." Lily frowns when she sees James' eyes sneakily look sideways at Severus Snape who watched from the shadows.
"I had to go save his stupid arse from the lightening storm." Lily flattens her tone, "We just got back."
"Great." Sirius winks at James, "How romantic."
James grins pompously and Lily groans.
Sending a half a wave to the boys, "See you lot in the common room."
"Lily." James can tell she's annoyed and immediately follows her.
"James!" Sirius barked, "We've got to go see Remus."
Lily turned on the stairs simply so she could show James how unhappy she was with his behavior, always dramatized when Severus Snape was watching. Lily's eyes even glance Severus' way, he's watching the boys hungrily. His black eyes coldly stare into her green ones and she turns her eyes back to James' warm hazel eyes.
"Sorry." He mumbles under his breath to her, so his mates can't hear.
"Yeah."
Lily knows he is sorry, but he's always sorry and he knows he's wrong. She can tell by the way his hazel eyes become downcast and he turns his mates without the normal pep in his step. Sirius Black arches his eyebrow at this. Lily and the handsome best friend pass each other a look, leveling each other. They were very different from each other but they were both important to James. Lily is always unsure what to make of Sirius Black.
Sirius slings an around James and drags him away with Peter close behind. They were off to find the last member of their strange little posse. Lily bit her lower lip before her eyes turned to look at the other person in the hall. Severus Snape's eyes for once were looking down the hall at the boys and not at Lily. He looked after them hungrily.
"Don't follow them." Lily warns Snape, knowing the look on his face was dangerous.
Sev bit his lip, "Don't you ever wonder what they do—"
"No." Lily cuts him off, "I trust them."
Her tone insinuated the truth: she trusted them more than she trusted him any longer. Severus' eyes glance to the direction the boys had left in. Lily could tell he was no longer interested in her or what she had to say. It didn't matter how long they had gone without talking, Lily knew the look on Severus' face was dangerous because whenever he had his mouth curved into a sneer it meant he was about to do something awful. She'd seen it plenty of times before, including times that had hurt those around her.
"Stay out of it, Severus."
Her inclusion of his name made him pause but then he snapped, "You aren't head girl yet, Evans."
Lily's first curled at her sides as she stomped away, biting her tongue. She refused to fight with him, as he was simply bitter and petty. Severus and Lily had once been close friends but his obsession over dark magic and James Potter quickly turned her off. Even now, his obsession with James and the other Gryffindor seventh years made her skin crawl. It was like Severus was desperate to prove that James Potter and his mates were up to something.
What that 'something' was, Lily only had a few guesses.
Once Lily made it back to the Gryffindor common room she was shivering from the cold. Her clothes were still soaked to the bone. Anna Faith, a preppy fifth year, noticed her first when she clambered through the portrait hole.
"Nasty weather Lily?" Anna smirked at Lily's appalling windblown and wet hair.
"Terrible," Lily agrees with a grin, fingering through her painfully ratted hair.
Lily's friend Mary McDonald scratched her cheek in confusion at Lily's appearance, "Didn't you say after dinner you were going to talk to McGonagall about Head Girl?"
Cara Daniels looked up too and grinned, "Go swimming in the Great Lake?"
The girls surrounding the fireplace laughed and Lily rolled her eyes, "I got caught in the rain running an errand for McGonagall." She motioned to the girl's staircase, "I'm going to change and then I'll be back down."
Lily's friends waved her off and she went to the dorm to change into warm fleece pajama bottoms and a jumper. Outside the dorm window the rain had slowed but lightening lit up the room when Lily pulled the jumper over her head. She could hear shouting happening in the common room below and she wondered if Angus McFlatcher set off another dung bomb when a second year raced by the open Seventh Year door with her friends telling them to hurry up or they'd miss the fight.
"Miss what?" Lily wondered to herself, grabbing a book to read the by the fire before she followed the sounds of angry shouting erupting from the common room only to be stopped by a crowd of people at the stairs.
Lily leaned over the railing and saw all the Gryffindor's surrounding three people. Lily couldn't really make it out; Professor McGonagall was at the portrait hole trying to break through the students to get to the fighting students. There was shouting and Lily thought she saw spells rebounding. That's when Lily saw a flash of jet-black hair and realization hit her; it was Potter, Black, and Pettigrew. Mary grabbed Lily's arm, shock radiating from her strong grip.
"What's going on Lily?" She asked, blue eyes gazing over the banister at the two boys who were inches apart with wands aimed at each other.
The second year that had come bursting in our room explained, "Not sure, I saw people fighting outside and James Potter saved some Slytherin from nearly going down into the weeping willow…"
Lily's blood ran cold.
James saved a Slytherin from going down the willow?
A sinking feeling in Lily's gut was also causing black spots in her vision as she leaned over the banister. She could hear the boys shouting at each other despite the noise from everyone else. Lily heard Severus' name and Mary tried to stop her, but Lily was already pushing people out of the way and trying to make her way down to the fight.
She was stuck halfway down the stars but had a perfect view of James' crushed face.
"It's Snape." Sirius seemed to not come to grips over what James was mad about, "I thought you would have been laughing."
James spat at Sirius, "Even I'm not that cruel."
Fear enveloped Lily. What had Sirius done? Lily tried to get down the stairs, to beg Sirius and James to tell her what had happened. Lily was having just as much trouble getting to them as McGonagall was.
"And youPeter, I imagined you had more sense than that." Peter seemed to wince at those words tumbling from James' mouth.
"It wasn't Peter's fault!" Sirius yelled, sparks emitting from his wand, "It's Snape's fault and you know it!"
"I don't see any traitor here but you." James spun away from Sirius and Sirius raised his wand, pointing it at James' retreating back.
"James!" Sirius snarled, "Prongs!"
"Shove off, Black."
Sirius' wand dropped and Lily thought she saw a moment of fear pass across his face. She'd never seen the boys so solemn; I'd never seen the Gryffindor boys fight so earnestly. In a normal fight, they'd be throwing punches like muggles, shouting playfully. The pure hate simmering through the crowd made this fight very different from past fights. James pushed through the crowd, but he didn't have to work that hard. People parted the seas for him, whispering and pointing with accusing fingers. He got to the staircase where Lily stood, and their eyes met.
Lily stared into his eyes. They were dark and disturbed, like he couldn't really see Lily.
"James what happened?" Lily questioned.
James looked away, back to Sirius, who was now being chastised and pulled form the common room by Professor McGonagall. When James turned back to Lily, the sparkle in his eyes was dead. Lily swallowed thickly as James passed, heading for the boys' staircase. Lily watched him walk away, her heart reaching out for an explanation and getting none. James didn't even glance back when she called his name desperately.
The mischievous boy who had offered her a broom ride only hours before was gone.
~~~I~WAS~ALL~YOU~EVER~WANTED~~~
Lily pursed her lips, waiting for the Muggle Studies Professor to open his door so that she could enter and demand James Potter to tell her what had happened. Lily sat, tapping the worn-down spine of her second-hand book for the class just as the door opened and the class filed out. James walked out last, his head bent over a parchment. He examined it carefully before stuffing it into his pocket and looking right up at Lily like he knew she had been standing there the whole time. A small smile was on his tired looking face.
"Hello." He offered, dark circles under his eyes.
She whispered as he stood beside her, "Tell me what happened."
"No." he simply stated, and his eyes glanced over to Cara Daniels who was leaning against the wall beside Lily, "Hi Cara."
Cara nodded softly to him and glanced sideways at Lily, shrugging. James passed both of the girls, running a hand through his thick and dark hair. Lily frowned prominently. James sparked up a conversation with Cara, when he spotted that Cara's notebook had the Chudley Cannons logo on it.
Quidditch, he'd changed the topic to quidditch.
Anger coursed through Lily.
Fine, James could be that way.
Lily looked around for the dark curtain of black hair and saw it; in the distance heading for Merlin only knew where. His sleeve was pushed up and Lily saw he was wearing a bandage on his arm. Lily wondered what the plaster was from. She pushed through the crowds and yanked on the back of his robes, pulling him behind an alcove.
"What happened?" Lily demanded of Severus, who looked embarrassed.
"Lily. Nothing!" he exclaimed, edging out of the alcove and Lily followed at his heels, "I'm going to class Lily or I'll be late."
Lily stared after Sev, who seemed jumpy. Lily just knew something bad had happened the night before and no one seemed to want to tell her what happened. The second year that had burst into the dorm room last night walked past Lily, noticing her with a grin. Lily got a burst of inspiration and waved the second year to her side. The little girl seemed surprised as she sauntered over.
"Hey, were you there? At the willow?" Lily nodded after Sev and the looked around, catching Sev in her sight.
She nodded, "Yeah, around there. I mean, we only saw James Potter go into the willow and pull Snape back out." She lowered her voice, "Then we ran to the castle because we heard something howling."
The late bell rang once, Lily nodded her thanks and then slipped into the classroom before Professor Katrina could mark her absent.
So, all Lily had gathered was that Sirius was mad because James was mad that he had pulled Sev from the Whomping Willow?
James had saved Severus from whatever had been down there?
Rumor had it that a monster lived around the willow. A student almost lost an eye one year from the willow and students were banned from going near it ever since. Severus had broken school rules; all the boys had broken school rules…
So why weren't they suspended?
Lily was determined to get more answers.
Chapter 2: Erase The Past
Chapter 2: I wish I could erase the past because now it's all collapsed, in my lap.
"She's been with him for the past three days straight." Lily said in an annoyed tone to Mary, who was puckering her lips at Alex, "How much is there to talk about with James Potter?"
Mary stopped her fun little game with Alex and turned her unconcerned eyes at Lily, "So Cara forgot you two were going to go school shopping together." She rolled her eyes, "Lily, Cara forgets nearly everything."
"Right." But Lily was still irked.
The first day of school shopping trip in Diagon Alley was tradition for Alex Finnegan, Cara Daniels, Mary McDonald, and Lily. They had gone together, every year, since third year. Lily pouted as she moodily thought of one of her friends with whom, James Potter had recently asked out. Of course, Lily had felt a slight tinge of annoyance when Cara sent her the owl earlier this summer, but she was happy for Cara.
Really happy.
Cara was one of Lily's dorm mates. A blond, blue eyed girl from east London, who grew up like Lily, not knowing who she was or what she was. Lily and Cara had bonded early in first year but she was never close to Cara like she was with Mary. Still, Lily considered Cara Daniels one of her close friends and for Cara to date James Potter was like finding out Santa Claus wasn't real: depressing.
"Why if it isn't Lily Evans in the flesh!" A familiar voice called from Lily's left where Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour sat.
"Remus!" Lily said cheerily, spotting her friend.
Lily spun to see Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew sitting at one table with the funny umbrellas of different colors. James Potter and Lily's friend Cara were at the table directly next to the boys. It was a two-person table. How pretentious.
Remus Lupin got up and ran over to hug Lily tightly. Lily hugged him back, slightly leaning to see all of the boys together. She guessed that James had forgiven Sirius for the prank on Severus from the end of the year and Lily wondered if it was only recently because they were at different tables.
"Lily!" Cara said breathily, "Come sit with us."
"Oh no," Lily smiled, "I just finished—"
"Come." Cara said it in a way that reminded Lily how stubborn she could be.
But Lily was just as stubborn, "I can't Cara. Mary and Alex—"
"It's fine Lily, Alex and I wanted to have alone time anyways." Mary pulled Alex away before Lily could protest.
"Come on Lily." Remus Lupin smiled from beside Lily, pulling her to the four-seater booth Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black were sitting at.
This being Lily's seventh year at Hogwarts, she would soon no longer get to enjoy the little trips with her friends. Lily looked over her shoulder and saw that Cara and James had their hands wrapped around each other.
One of Lily's eyebrows raised.
They seemed to be getting along fine, why did Cara want Lily there with them?
"Would you like ice cream Lily?" Lily heard Sirius speak up to her.
"Oh, um. Sure."
It was rather hot in Diagon Alley.
"Four Chocolate Frog Splits." Sirius spoke up to a gentleman in a shirt that matched the colorful umbrellas.
The man took James and Cara's order (a milkshake to share) and Lily realized how silent it was at the table. Cara was fidgeting nervously. Remus and Sirius were playing with their forks and Peter was watching with curious eyes. Lily watched in fascination as Sirius hung the fork from his nose and then she burst into laughter.
Lily's sudden burst of laughter made James jump and Cara to stare at Lily like she should be in an insane asylum. Sirius grinned at Lily with his fork nose and Remus chuckled as Peter flicked the fork of Sirius's nose so that it clattered on the table. Lily leaned over and picked up the abandoned fork.
"My sister and I used to do this all the time with spoons!" Lily declared, so they wouldn't question her sanity, "I'd never seen it done with a fork!"
Lily had never seen Sirius grin at her so wide in her entire life, "Remus and I have mastered the fork and the knife."
Remus rolled his eyes, "Well, not so much the knife without a little help from magic."
"Right." She smiled at Remus who also gave her a wider grin than she'd ever seen.
Lily drank it slowly and looked up when she saw Sirius grinning at her and winking, "watch this." He said with an air of enjoyment. Using the bottom of the bottle of his drink, Sirius balanced the drink on the tip of his nose and Lily clapped.
"Nice. Eh?" Sirius winked again at Lily and she smiled, nodding.
Lily glanced over at Cara, who seemed to smile forcefully; Cara looked at Lily and grinned a more believable smile. It seemed she wasn't sure how to keep the boys entertained. Lily thanked Merlin for the three boys that lived across the street that she had baby-sat up until the previous year. She learned a lot about boys then that helped her keep calm around the crazy boys that James Potter was always with. Remus tapped Lily shoulder.
"Here you guys go…" The server set four Chocolate Frog Splits with the magical card in the middle around our small table and Lily grabbed her own, feeling greedy and a smile lit her face. She loved Chocolate frogs.
"Is this repayment for seven years of torture?" Lily asked, taking a frog off the vanilla ice cream and biting off the head in a barbaric way.
"Did it work?" Sirius asked, his eyes sparkling playfully, and Cara laughed beside Lily—the first sound she had made all evening.
"Of course not." Lily pretended to look stern and the boys laughed, except James, he was watching Cara.
"Can I see what card you got Lily?" Peter asked Lily, pointing to the moving card in the middle of the ice cream.
"Sure." Lily smiled, "Just give me the cards, I collect them."
Cara rolled her eyes, grinning at Lily, "Collect? You obsess over them Lily." She spun at James, "Lily has this huge shoebox full of cards all ABC ordered by wizards last name."
James smiled kindly at Lily, he hadn't spoken to Lily much lately so the sincere gesture made her stomach slightly queasy, "That's cute." He said, before digging in his pockets and leaving money on the table, "I'm going to take Cara out for a walk—"
James and Cara left, James gave Lily a swift smile before declaring goodbye and leaving. Sirius sighed and leaned into his chair and Remus looked immensely relieved. Peter placed the card back by my side and also looked happy that they had left. Lily didn't get it.
Were James and Sirius still fighting about what had happened at the willow last year?
"Are you and James still fighting or something?" Lily asked, staring at Sirius's very relieved face.
"Nah," Sirius said, waving his hand care-free, "we made up ages ago. It's his new girlfriend that's got me bored half to death."
Lily stared in surprise, "Who? Cara?"
Remus nodded with energy, "You were a much better date." He grinned, "Daniels kept her mouth clamped shut from the moment we arrived to the moment she left. In fact she didn't talk at all to us. Only James."
"She's just nervous." Lily covered for her friend as the server took James's pile of money with a smile, "Cara's hardly ever dated before."
Sirius stared at Lily with an intense look, "Why can't you just be James's girlfriend? Honestly, at least you have a sense of humor."
Lily glared at Sirius, "James and I have hardly talked since the start of term. Let alone the past seven years, I doubt he'll start talking to me anytime soon."
Remus shrugged, "I don't know Lily, and he did have a pretty big crush on you the past two years."
Lily pulled on her cloak and followed the three boys, whom she was now enjoying spending time with. If someone had told Lily that she'd be having a simple conversation with all three Gryffindor boys—well Remus shouldn't count—Lily would simply call that person crazy. The boys led Lily to a quidditch shop where she stopped at the door; Lily would have rather stayed outside. Remus eyed Lily with a playful look.
"Scared of the shop Lily?" he asked, "Come on, They have a new girls line…" he winked like this was supposed to make Lily want to go in.
"No thanks." Lily said, smiling softly, "I'll just…go."
"Oh no you don't." Sirius pulled Lily forcefully by the arm, "We like you, you're coming with us whether you like it or not."
"Why do I have the feeling you guys are making me hang out with you for the rest of the day?" Lily voiced as she spotted the new girls' line.
"Because you're right." Remus said, picking up a book and flipping through it with interest.
"Right." Lily said, fingering a soft flannel shirt in the girls section that boasted fifty percent off.
"And maybe if we're lucky you'll start hanging around us so much you'll just fall in love with James's decent side." Sirius laughed as he checked out a new broom.
"Don't push your luck." Lily said softly, picking up a blue flannel with the embellished Quality Quidditch Supplies logo on it.
"Oh look, Lily's getting something from a quidditch store!" Peter mocked as Lily got in line behind an old woman with a new broomstick handle that possessed 'slow air travel'. "Someone call the queens navy! The world must be coming to an end!"
"Oh hahahaha." Lily mocked the smallest of the three boys, "You're hilarious."
"Hey guys, thought I'd find you in here." James walked in to the store with a look like he'd walked into paradise. "You ready to go? Mum's going to make dinner soon."
Peter nodded beside Lily, "Let's wait for Lily first."
James turned and his eyes took in Lily's small smile and the flannel shirt she was purchasing. "Lily?"
Sirius threw an arm around Lily dramatically and Remus appeared, with a grin on his face. "Lily here has been spending the afternoon with us." Sirius nodded to Lily proudly, "She's a hoot."
"I'm sure." James stared at Lily for a few more moments before turning to Remus, "Hey Remus I bought you ointment in Magical Menagerie." James chucked a small bottle that Remus accidently dropped.
Lily knelt down and picked up the chocolate colored bottle that read 'Scar Ointment for Animals.' She dropped the bottle in a shock of surprise. Even though she tried not to think about it…it always appeared…Severus's stupid idea that Remus was a werewolf. Lily shook her head and Lily saw Remus quickly pick it up and stuff it into his pocket before helping her back up to her feet.
"For my rabbit." He told Lily with a smile, "He's slightly suicidal."
Lily laughed nervously, "Right."
Lily turned to try and not look at Remus when she met the watchful brown eyes of James Potter. He was scrutinizing Lily with an odd look, like he was waiting for something to appear on her face. Had he seen Lily's look of surprise? Impossible, she had been facing away from him. It was stupid that Remus was a werewolf. He couldn't be, because Dumbledore would never allow a danger like that around the students.
"Ma'am?"
Lily was pulled from her thoughts by the man at the counter that pointed at the merchandise she was holding tightly to my chest. Lily paid for the blue flannel shirt and took the bag with a small smile.
"Thank you." Lily told the sales person before turning to the four boys who were watching her closely.
"Hey Lily, James's mom is cooking this huge feast. Wanna come?" Sirius asked, as James stared at his best friend in surprise.
Lily saw James's look of 'what the hell are you doing Sirius?' and declined the offer, "No thanks Sirius, I had fun, but I should get home before my sister and her boyfriend start to worry."
That was a laugh; if Petunia worried about Lily half as much as her boyfriend, Lily wouldn't be at Diagon Alley alone.
"Alright." Remus smiled, "but you're missing out on some awful great cooking."
"Right." Lily laughed softly, feeling James's eyes bore into her like she was ruining his life. "See you guys later, and thanks for taking me here."
It was like Lily was on a date with all three boys. James Potter who stared at Lily with an unreadable look in his eyes. They four left together, taking all at once and Lily could hardly understand them, but she heard her name twice, once in Sirius's voice and the second in James's dulcet tones.
They were arguing…
She walked out onto the normal London Street to apparate back home. Lily liked them; they were kind of cool, in a teenage boy kind of way.
"And maybe if we're lucky you'll start hanging around us so much you'll just fall in love with James's decent side."
Sirius's words rang in Lily's ears that night as she thought about her day more. It was like a broken record playing over and over in her head. If she hung out with them more would she fall for James in more ways than just thinking he was handsome? They hardly ever talked and when he was around Lily, he either acted like a jerk or acted like she didn't exist.
And a girl like Lily totally loved that in a boy.
Psh.
Yeah right.
Chapter 3: Paraniod
Chapter 3: I'm paranoid: see it in my eyes? That's insanity from the twisted lies.
"Hey Lily!"
Lily spun, smoke from the Hogwarts Express blowing into her eyes.
It was Cara, her blond hair expertly put into two long braids like a first year. Lily watched as Cara rushed to her side and hugged Lily tightly. Behind her, James Potter was walking slowly towards the girls holding two suitcases. Lily looked at her friend.
"Hello Cara." Lily smiled softly, tucking her out-of-control hair behind her ear.
Cara, however, was too busy staring at the golden badge on Lily's chest with the Gryffindor lion growling on its hind paws. Her mouth formed the shape of 'O' and her large blue eyes got wider. Then a grin spread on her face when James stopped next to her and Lily automatically looked away, afraid to look in his eyes.
What was wrong with her that she couldn't even look him in the eye?
Lily forced herself to look up and saw the flash of gold from his chest.
"Both of you are head boy and girl!" Cara laughed cheerfully, taking James's hand with delight. "I'll be able to practically get away with murder!" she joked.
Lily stared at James who was staring at Lily.
"Potter." Lily said in greeting.
He only nodded, giving Lily a sort of shrug as a hello.
Cara hugged Lily once more, but it was awkward considering she was still holding James's hand. That's when the boys who Lily had wondered about the rest of summer appeared with trunks behind them, smiling brightly at Lily. Cara spotted them as well and her smile faltered for a moment.
Why was she so afraid of Sirius, Remus, and Peter?
Lily liked them a whole lot more than she liked James right now.
"Lily!" Sirius said cheerfully, hugging Lily with one arm and then smiling kindly at Cara who smiled shyly back.
For one of the most talkative girls around Hogwarts, Cara sure did shut up around the three boys. Lily would have to stick around them more often; she'd been searching for a way to make Cara shut up since second year. Remus hugged Lily as well and kissed her cheek…her heart jumped. She hadn't been expecting that! Peter grinned at Lily, he didn't hug her seeing as he was holding an owl in his free arm.
"Lo' Lily Evans." Peter smiled at Lily.
"Come on, let's get on the train or it'll leave without—" Sirius stopped talking because Lily had moved and a flash of sunlight had caught the Head Girl badge on her chest.
Lily took a step back at Sirius's sudden wide smile. Sirius nudged Remus who looked down and grinned like Christmas had come early. Peter looked Lily up and down and then found what his friends were staring at and then, Peter too, began to grin like Lily had just told him that Mary McDonald loved him.
"Head Girl!" Sirius exclaimed proudly, like Lily was his favorite daughter, "Way to go Lily Evans! See this James?"
"Yeah, it's great." James said in monotone, "Come on Cara."
James smiled at Cara kindly and they walked aboard the train together.
Lily had to admit that she was pretty hurt by James's answer to her getting Head Girl. In fact, Lily was hurt by his behavior in general. Never had he treated her with such a cold shoulder.
Lily had been yelling profanities at him since second year and now he was starting to get it?
When all Lily really wanted to do was forget the past and start over?
That boy needed a good slap across the face.
"Come on Lily, you can sit with us until you need to go and talk to the silly little fifth year prefects." Sirius slung an arm around Lily and guided her to the carriages where other students were sitting together.
"Right." Lily grinned at Sirius, "Now why are you all so ecstatic about me being head girl?"
"Because." Peter said, helping Lily into the train like a gentlemen, "You have to spend more time with James and he has to spend more time with you."
"And with more time, comes the faint spark of true love." Sirius said dramatically as he pulled Lily into a small compartment that was empty.
Lily snorted but faintly wondered if James would ever see her that way again, "I don't know, he's pretty mad at me right now. Hasn't talked to me normally since last year…"
When James asked Lily to get on a broomstick.
When he asked Lily to go for just one ride.
One little ride he had promised.
Lily had disagreed saying she'd fall off and die but if Lily could redo that moment, she would say 'yes 'in a heartbeat.
Sirius waved Lily's concern off like it was no big deal, "Oh that's just because of the whole thing with—"
A warning look from Remus shut Sirius up.
"What?" Lily asked, sitting across from Peter and Sirius beside Remus who looked disturbed now. "Since what? That fight the both of you had? What'd you tell him? I would hate his guts for the rest of my life?"
Sirius laughed, now uncomfortable, "Of course not Evans, he was too smitten with you to believe anything I said…"
"Then why is he ignoring me now like I was the cause of that whole thing at the willow?" Lily asked, now interested.
James hadn't spoken to Lily clearly since the accident at the willow.
"Let's change the subject." Sirius said, pulling exploding snap out of his pocket, "Anyone up for a round."
As he shuffled the pack, Lily stared into his eyes with a stern look, "You will tell me some day why he hates my guts." she threatened.
"He doesn't hate your guts." This was one of the first times Lily had ever seen Sirius actually serious, "He really cares about you Lily."
~~~PARANOID~WITH~THE~TWISTED~LIES~~~~
He cares about you, he cares about you, he—
Oh, why the hell was James just sitting there, staring at Lily?! Was she insane? It was like every time she looked out of the corner of her eyes, he was staring.
And then he wasn't.
"Would you stop?" Lily finally snapped, "You are really freaking me out."
James jumped, "What?" He asked in surprise, a slight tinge of anger in his voice, "I didn't do anything!"
Lily was insane. He hadn't been staring at her.
"Never mind."
The fifth-year prefects they were riding with glanced at the Head Boy and girl with worry written on their faces. Worry about their lives probably, considering they were in with two of the students known for blowing off at each other when they got mad. James and Lily hadn't done major fight scenes since fifth year, of course, but who knew when both the tempers would let go.
This is why Lily wondered why the three friends of James (who had grown up with our fights) ever believed that Lily and James would fall in love with each other.
Sirius, Remus and Peter were insane.
Not Lily.
She was just paranoid of James's eyes watching her like a statue.
"Well looks like my two mates are having a joyess time." A joking voice implied and an arm was thrown round Lily's shoulder, pulling her into the warm embrace of Sirius Black who had a small smile on his face like he was sharing a personal secret with himself.
"What is it Sirius?" Lily asked in an annoyed tone, implying she wanted him to disappear.
"Wanted to come see if you two had killed each other yet." Remus appeared with Peter, flipping back his long hair and looking to James, "Cara is looking for you."
James ran a frustrated hand threw his hair, "Right. See you guys." He disappeared like Lily wanted a certain black-haired boy to do around her shoulder.
"Can we be dismissed Evans?" asked a Hufflepuff fifth year prefect.
"Sure." Lily dismissed them with a wave of her hand, exhausted like she had run a marathon, "Run free." Then Lily turned to the three boys who were grinning at her happily, "Don't you three have some other person to bother? Like, I dunno, your best friend?"
Sirius hooted, "Why? Are we getting on your nerves?"
"I think we are Padfoot." Peter grinned, calling Sirius an odd name Lily wouldn't even give my cat.
"I think you guys are too." Lily said, pulling on a strand of red hair, "I mean, come on, you've never wanted to hang out with me so much before!"
"We didn't know how cool you were!" Peter grinned, taking a Sparkling Wand from disposed candy and biting into it greedily.
Lily had to admit, she was touched. Coming from Peter that was spectacular, Peter hardly ever complimented anyone other than James and Sirius. Lily felt pretty high and mighty, until James entered the compartment with Cara on his arm laughing. Lily's wits crushed to her feet and she tried to not look James in the eye and ignored Cara.
I used to make him laugh.
"Lily!" Cara said, spotting Lily with the boys surrounding her, "Wow, you just pop up with Sirius all the time now!"
Lily's eyes widened, realizing Sirius's arm had slipped to her waist and Lily jumped out of his arms in shock and Sirius—for the first time in his life—was blushing. James was blushing too, staring at Lily's waist where Sirius's arm had just let go. There was something else there…but Lily couldn't tell what it was.
She really needed to work on her facial reading.
"Just telling Lily how happy we are that she's decided to be our friends." Sirius muttered and Remus was muttering under his breath behind Lily.
"Friends." James repeated, looking Lily in the eyes for the first time since the night he had yelled at Sirius.
His eyes appeared to be hurt and shocked. Like he couldn't believe what he was hearing or seeing. Like he couldn't understand Lily's sudden attempt to let go of her ideas that he and his friends were idiots and conceited losers. Lily didn't break away from the stare; he did, looking down at his and Cara's attached hands.
"That's right." Lily murmured, "I've set aside the past, I'll see you."
Lily pushed past Potter and smiled at Cara softly. Her stomach turned at the words she had spoken to Potter and Lily felt like she was having an adrenalin rush. Her face was blood red. From what, Lily wasn't sure, and her hands felt clammy.
Lily knew the ugly symptoms: a crush.
On James Potter.
Without any of Sirius's plans of Lily hanging around them more, she was developing a crush on James Potter…who was dating Cara Daniels…Lily's friend since first year. Lily also knew, by the way he had just acted, old feelings hadn't died completely.
She had just entered a war zone.
Chapter 4: See me the way I see you
Chapter 4: I thought I knew everything about you.
"Hey Lily." Peter Pettigrew sighed as he took a seat beside Lily on the third morning of the first week of school.
People were dragging themselves around like they had all been on sleeping tonic. Madame Promfrey had been giving people Pepper Me UpPotion all week at request of Dumbledore seeing as a cold had been going around school like a virus. Lily had only just finished taking the potion, feeling extremely clammy since the night before.
"Hello Peter." She smiled at his sleepy look as he pulled bacon towards him, "Bad night?"
Peter yawned and nodded, before eating some eggs off his plate which had just magically appeared steaming. Lily looked down at her own plate which remained untouched; she hadn't been hungry all week. James Potter smiled at Lily from across the table, arm around Cara. Cara looked up and grinned at Lily, her face bright red as if she were blushing. Lily wondered what James had told Cara to make her blush so much.
"Morning Lily-Flower." Sirius said cheerily, hugging Lily.
Lily slapped his arm, and Sirius called out in surprise, "I told you never to call me that!"
Sirius held his arm as he sat down on my other side, seeing the bacon and smiling again. Wow. Boys sure did like bacon. Lily wondered if it was a testosterone thing. Remus hadn't shown up after a while and Lily frowned, turning to Peter.
"Where is Remus?" she asked, buttering my toast.
"He caught a cold." Peter answered, also buttering his toast, "The Pepper Me Uppotion didn't work so well for him."
"Right." Lily said, "Of course, his immune system must suck as much as he gets sick."
"His immune system?" Peter said, scrunching up his eyebrows—he didn't know what the immune system was. He wasn't muggle born.
"Never mind." Lily smiled, then seeing Alice and Frank enter with their friends.
"Frank! Alice!" Lily waved them over and they and their friends joined Lily's side of the table.
Mary McDonald stared and leaned across the table to whisper in Lily's ear, "Why are you with James Potter's friends so much now Lily?"
"Oh! Uhh, I just started to hang out with them." Lily told her and Sirius looked up, hearing Lily talking, "They are really cool."
"Thanks Lily." Sirius smiled as if she had just said something important.
Suddenly the bell rang through the hall and it seemed as if the entire student body sighed. They all stood up like clones and walked out of the hall heading in separate directions. Lily watched as James kissed Cara goodbye at the entrance to the dungeons. James had Advanced potions with Remus, Sirius, and Lily. Cara had Advanced Muggle Studies now. Lily smiled at Cara as she passed and kept to Sirius's side.
"You ready to do the project today?" he asked, fingering an armband he wore.
"Nope." Lily answered, flexing her fingers, "I just want to go back to bed."
Her nice, warm, comfortable bed.
"Right." Sirius laughed at Lily just as James came walking up with a small smile.
"What?" James asked, falling into step beside Sirius.
Sirius shook his head, still chuckling, "Nothing, Lily was being smart."
"Lily is always smart." James rolled his eyes at Lily and she smiled.
"Thanks James." Lily smiled before turning to look behind her and seeing Severus staring blatantly at Lily with his pitch-black eyes.
Shivers ran up Lily's spine and she found herself stepping closer to Sirius who looked behind Lily to see what had made her jump. Rather than make a scene, like he would have done only last year, he opened the potions door for Lily and took her to her seat, all the while keeping an eyes behind him at Severus who looked irked. James was also careful of looking into Sev's eyes as he took Remus's normal spot on the other side of Sirius.
"I still don't like him." Sirius mumbled as they got out supplies and Slughorn wrote directions on the board to his Advanced Potions class, "He gives me the creeps."
"That's fine." James mumbled, getting out a silver sharp knife, "He doesn't like you much either."
Sirius grinned at James's sarcastic point and looked up as Slughorn drifted to the table with a large smile. Rumor that the Potions master had been deciding to retire were spreading around the school. Lily wondered why he didn't; rumor had it he'd been teaching here for at least thirty years. But then again some teachers stayed here until death. Lily imagined Slughorn—with his round impossible belly—as a ghost and giggled.
"Could you imagine Sluggy as a ghost?" I smiled at Sirius, "He'd be horribly large wouldn't he?"
James leaned over to look at Lily with a huge grin on his face and Sirius laughed into Lily's ear as he whispered, "Sluggy wouldn't die he would try to be best friends with Death and get out of dying."
That sounded like the old professor, only being friends with people to get what he wanted. Slughorn liked the especially bright students, which included Lily's little table.
"Lily! James! Sirius!" He said cheerfully, "All together today are we? How quaint, how quaint!"
"Remus is sick so we invited Lily to sit with us." Sirius said, throwing an arm around Lily, "We missed each other terribly over break you see."
Slughorn raised his eyebrows in Lily's blushing direction. Due to ninety-nine percent of James's and Lily's fights being in his classroom, Lily could see why he was having trouble seeing Lily 'missing' Sirius Black and James Potter.
Of course, last night, when she had studied with the boys, she had been enjoying herself.
"Very good, very good." Slughorn nodded his head then addressed the entire class, "Today we will be doing the Skelegro potion used often in healing."
Sirius snorted, "James knows all too well about Skelegro."
"Does he?" Lily smiled playfully at James who chuckled.
James nodded and pointed a various parts of his body, "Well, playing quidditch has its bad parts—including skelegro"
"Right." Lily looked at the board for certain ingredients.
As they worked together to pour in ingredients and James made faces as each little bit entered the cauldron. Lily found herself laughing at him and his ailing faces. He reminded Lily of a five-year-old who had taken a gross medicine. James made a face at her laughing one.
"You've never taken this stuff. It's disgusting…and now I see why." He held up the heart of some animal Lily would rather not know the species of.
"You need to stir it for thirty minutes!" Slughorn announced from the front of the classroom.
"Lily will you please stir?" Sirius asked as he hurriedly cut centipede legs into fourths.
Lily nodded and began stirring and while she was stirring, she looked up to see Severus staring at her. A blush took over Lily's face and she looked down quickly and stared at the swirling mass of smoking liquid. The smell was undeniably unpleasant, so Lily held her breath and kept her focus away from the other table.
Was it bad that he scared Lily now? Now that she knew what he did behind closed doors with his so-called friends?
"You shouldn't let him get to you." James spoke; he had seen the exchange between Severus and Lily.
"I'm not." she snapped, angered he had seen that.
What happened between Sev and Lily was a private problem, not to be meddled in by James Potter, or anyone else of that matter. Lily was determined not to let Snape get to her, but he still got to her. James muttered something under his breath and poured some green substance into the potion. Slughorn peered over the cauldron.
"Very good!" He congratulated Lily's team, "You see that smoke? It's almost perfect!"
The smoke he was talking about was making Lily's throat burn and her head hurt. She sat down and stopped stirring just as the bell rang for the next class. Lily sighed, thankful, James was still watching her, and she quickly hurried to Charms, happy James wasn't in charms. she didn't need his hazel eyes glaring at her all the next two hours.
~~~Why~can't~you~see~me~the~way~I~see~you~~~
Night fell upon Lily quickly and she was relatively happy as she followed a group of third years into the great hall for dinner. Two first years were huddling around each other and Lily grabbed the color changing Yoyo from them with a quick smile.
"Sorry girls, these are banned." She smiled and the girls frowned at Lily.
"But why?" the first year whined.
"I don't know." Lily snapped, "They just are."
"Lily!" Cara's voice came loud and clear through the two first years, "Lily, I haven't seen you since this morning, come sit with me!" and she dragged Lily away from the two girls.
"Hey Lily!"
Her dorm mates greeted her, some reading magazines, others the Wizarding World News.
Lily looked around the table, "where are Sirius, James, and Peter?"
"They went to go see Remus—he's not doing so well." Voiced Frank from Alice's arms.
Lily furrowed her brow in worry.
How badly had Remus gotten the cold?
Sirius and James hadn't seemed worried last period when she watched them head off laughing to the common rooms. Cara rolled her eyes.
"James is like a father to Lupin." She told Lily as they spooned beef soup into their bowls, "You know he puts money into Remus's account at Gringrotts?"
"No." Lily said, very surprised, "Does Remus know?"
Cara shook her head and put a finger to her lips, "Nope, so don't tell." She begged, yanking a piece of Lily's red hair, "Or I'll dye your hair blue."
"Your wouldn't!" Mary McDonald said, touching Lily's hair, "I love Lily's hair!"
As they bantered if Lily could change her hair color, Lily sat and thought about the new information she'd gathered. James transferred money into Remus's account at Gringrotts. Lily wondered why.
Did Remus not have a family? Lord knew, James's family was still around. He got letters from his mother every Friday. Lily realized how little she knew about these boys who she was starting to grow on. It was around that point that Lily decided she would hang out with them more. Her curiosity was getting the better of her. Lily glanced up at the clouded ceiling, she really hoped it wasn't going to be rainy…she hated rain. Lily sighed and said goodnight to her friends, telling them she wanted to go to bed early.
In Lily's dorm, she sat on the edge of the bed and stared at a picture of her family when she was younger. Petunia and Lily were alone now. Lily knew what Remus was going through if he didn't have a family. Lily missed her mother and father something terrible. Lily smiled, it was kind of James to give Remus money and that he was always looking out for Remus.
Lily had never noticed how protective they all were of each other. She curled up on her bed and thought about the way they seemed to circle each other like satellites. Somehow, in this revolving formation, Remus was always next to either James or Sirius. He was never alone.
Peter was protected by all three; he had been picked on most of first year only now he was constantly with one of his mates. Protected like a fragile kitten that couldn't protect himself. James personally helped Peter often, and Lily wondered where the compassion had come from.
James and Sirius were able to communicate without even talking. Lily had seen them send each other certain looks and Sirius or James would nod. Lily wondered why they had such a strong connection and she was slightly jealous.
She had never been super close with any of her friends at Hogwarts. She had a few good friends but not like James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew had—it wasn't like a sibling friendship. Lily wondered what had drawn them closer, what had made James become the father figure in their group.
Lily decided when she saw Sirius tomorrow that she would ask him. He seemed like he wanted to talk to Lily at least.
Chapter 5: Did you forget?
Chapter 5: Did you forget everything we ever had? Did you forget?
"Hello Lily." Remus groaned as he sat beside Lily in the grass leading to the lake edge, "Using your Sunday to study eh?"
Lily sent a smile his way, "Remus! Are you feeling better than? I haven't seen you all week!" Lily reached over and hugged him, her book squished in the middle.
He laughed a deep throaty laugh, "Sirius told me you were worried."
Lily made a face, "Where is he?" she hadn't seen Sirius all week either, except a certain point when she saw him in the hallway.
Remus wrapped his thin cloak against the breeze that brought a sign of the oncoming winter, "Miss him do you?" he teased then shook his head, "Sirius had been ditching most of the week to take care of me when James couldn't because of Cara."
"What, Cara wouldn't let James take care of his best friend?"
Remus shook his head, "If I let James, he would try to be with me twenty-four seven…it's just the way he is."
Lily set her book on the ground and picked a piece of grass, twirling it around her fingers, "I noticed." At his quizzical glance she added, "Oh, it's just…James takes care of you like you were a fragile puppy or something. It's a bit weird you know?"
Remus laughed at Lily's some-what serious comment, "Ah Lily, sometimes I wish James could hear you say these silly little things." He weaved two threads of grass into a thin ring, "James cares about all of us…not just me."
Lily stared at Remus as he spoke, a hidden meaning was deep in his eyes as he told Lily how caring James Potter was too his friends. Again, she wondered where that burst of passion of friendship came from.
They were so much more than friends, they were brothers.
"You know, the thing James cares about most is friendship." Remus said, stretching out his legs like a cat after a long nap, "He treasures it above anything else."
"Why?" Lily questioned as she picked at her warm robes, She felt like she was learning a deep dark secret in the boys life.
Remus sighed, "I don't know why, it's just one of his better traits I guess."
Lily nodded and curled her heels up to her hips, place marking my page in the book she was reading. Lily glanced over at Remus who was watching three first years try and attack the giant squid with twigs. Lily noticed a cut along his left cheek, and she frowned, reaching out to touch it. Remus flinched away and looked at Lily, surprised.
"How did that happen?" she gasped, not liking the scarred look upon poor Remus's face.
"It's nothing Lily, just a little scratch from Sirius is all." He said, turning his face away so she couldn't see the mark any longer.
"What was he doing?" she demanded, "Attacking you with a cat?"
Remus laughed which made other marks on his face more pronounced and Lily frowned, "No Lily," Remus smiled at her, "Just being Sirius. Its fine it doesn't hurt a bit."
"Right." Lily said, disbelief written in her voice.
Remus quickly changed the subject, "So how are Head Rounds going?"
Lily groaned and fell back into the grass, "Terribly he—"
"No one told Peter and I it was another bother Lily Evans day!" Sirius plopped himself down on the other side of Lily with a huge grin and a plate full of scones from the breakfast table, "How ya doing Lily?"
"Morning Lily!" Peter announced his presence by sitting down next to Remus and handing Remus one of his two platefuls of scones.
Remus happily tore one in half and began to devour it like an angry wolf. "Continue." He told Lily, waving his free hand to motion her .
"What are we talking about?" Sirius grinned, scooting in and handing Lily a jam covered scone.
"Head rounds." Remus grinned, suggestively winking at Sirius.
"Wicked." Sirius grinned at Lily, "Please, don't let me and Peter being here stop you."
"Never mind." Lily blushed, telling these boys what head rounds were like would be awkward.
"Come on we're all friends here and we promise not to tell James a single thing you say—I solemnly swear it." Sirius raised his left hand in the air as if to prove his point.
Lily sighed and rolled her eyes, but gave in, "Fine, it's really weird walking around the halls with him!"
"Why?" Peter grinned over his scone, "Because you'd rather be snogging him?"
Sirius laughed, "Great one Peter!"
"No!" Lily's face got all heated and hot and she furiously slung a scone in Peter Pettigrew's direction. "Because he doesn't act the same around me anymore!" then her face got even more red—realizing just how much she gave away to the three best friends of James Potter.
"Look at that! She's blushing!" Sirius guffawed at Lily's face which she tried to hide by standing up and walking in the opposite direction—only to run into the person they had been talking about and blushing a dozen shades redder. Lily's eyes got wide and she quickly rushed off in the general direction if the castle, hearing Sirius call out her name.
"You're so stupid Lily!" Lily hissed at herself as she rushed for the sanctuary of the Astronomy Tower where hopefully no one would find her. "You just can't keep your mouth under control!"
She wanted to scream, because now James Potter's friends knew she missed the old, friendly James Potter whom adored her.
Lily sighed and slumped on one of the old desks that hands names carved into it and words like 'muggles together' and 'revolution'. Why did Lily have to go and say that to them? What scared Lily the most was not them telling James what had happened, but that she actually trusted them. Lily trusted them surprisingly more than she should, and she should blame Sirius Black for what had happened at the willow in the first place.
But she didn't.
Lily trusted Sirius Black for some reason; something he had done recently had made her trust him. She wasn't sure what he had done, but she felt like he was her brother; like he cared if she was happy or sad.
Lily trusted Remus Lupin—whom she had trusted long before the others—but she trusted him more now. Even though he continued to hide from the truth of things.
She trusted fun-loving Peter, who seemed to have taken over James's love for joking around with Lily.
That's when she realized…
Lily realized that the reason she had a crush on James Potter was because he was a mixture of all the things, she loved in the three boys she had been hanging out with. James Potter not only had good looks, but he cared, he sought to make people happy, and he used to love a good joke.
Now, he was afraid to be himself around Lily and she didn't know why. She wished he would tell her things like Sirius or Remus told Lily things. She wished he thought of Lily as a friend, and then maybe the crush would go away because she'd see little things in him that she saw in Peter, Sirius, and Remus.
~~~Did~you~forget~everything~we~had?~~~
"Why are you suddenly with Evans all the time padfoot?" James demanded of his best mate who hastily finished the rest of his scones as they traveled back up the way Lily Evans had disappeared too, "Cara is trying to sell me on the idea that you and she are going out…the scary thing is I'm starting to believe it."
Sirius raised his eyebrows, "Could you honestly see me dating Lily Evans, James?" he snorted, "That'd be a laugh."
James still questioned, "But you've been with her since that day in Diagon Alley." James made a face, "It just doesn't make sense."
"What doesn't?" Remus asked, fingering his new scar from two nights before tenderly, "The fact that Evans may actually have decided to let go of the past? Or the fact that we actually might like hanging out with her more than your new girlfriend?"
"That's a little harsh Remus." Sirius warned under his breath as James' ears turned red with slight irritation.
"It's not my fault you all hate Cara." James said, displaying a hint of anger.
"We don't hate her!" Peter voiced, almost in shock, "She doesn't like us James!"
"That's not true!" James wanted to shout but he didn't.
James kept his face lowered at the cobblestoned ground. Yes, James had noticed that Cara was a bit off around them, but she was perfectly pleasant around James. He figured she was just intimidated by all three of James' friends, so he didn't ask her to talk to them if she didn't want to.
James didn't make Cara do anything she didn't want to.
"James." Sirius said slowly and James knew what was coming, he had said the same thing every day since the start of term, "Maybe you should dump her—Evans is coming around and when she does, all you'll want to do is run into her arms."
"What are you saying Sirius?" James almost hissed as they opened the double doors, "Sometimes I don't get you anymore. Hanging out with Evans like she's the new me, telling me to dump my girlfriend when for the past seven years all you've been telling me to do is dump Evans!"
"Lower your voice!" Remus beseeched James, "People are looking."
"I'm saying that you're in this faze—ever since last year when I did that thing to Snape you've kept yourself distanced from Evans like she's the plague."
The boys were walking past the main tower when the girl they were talking about exited the tower stairs and bumped into us. James watched her face go stark pale and then turn a nasty green color then go bright red.
"Hello." She mumbled before bowing her head and turning in the opposite direction…refusing to look into James' eyes only.
Sirius pointed down the hallway at her, "And she's bloody afraid to even go near you! Was there something I missed? One little detail we happened to not catch because nothing anything you two are doing—is making sense."
He took a deep breath and crossed his arms, staring at James.
"What are you talking about?" James exclaimed, "Are you asking me if we did something?"
James stared at Sirius in shock that he would ever suggest something.
Sirius threw up his hands in defeat, "I don't know James, and I'm just asking what you did to each other to make this relationship flip. You want to know why I've been hanging around Evans so much. It's because she seems different, if I had been her and knew what happened to my best mate I'd have killed me." Sirius stared at James with his serious grey eyes that no longer held a sense of mischief like normal, "I feel like I owe something to her James because I did this—made you stop liking her and made her be afraid to go anywhere near you."
"I don't not like her." James told Sirius, pulling his three mates into an empty classroom, "I do like her, but I like Cara too! And Lily is afraid to come near me because she blames me for what happened Sirius. Not you."
"What are you talking about?" It was Sirius's turn to ask the pending question.
James didn't answer; he was thinking about Lily Evans and her face the night of the fight. James remembered the worried, almost haunted look in her eyes as she asked James what happened to her friend Severus Snape. Then James remembered the fear in Lily's face when he walked past her angrily.
James wished he could re-do that day and beg her for forgiveness.
Sirius put his arm on James' shoulder, "James, what the hell are you talking about?"
James shrugged Sirius' hand off his shoulder, "Never mind. Let's just forget about it okay."
~~~did~you~forget~everything~we~had?~~~
"Hey Lily?"
"Omigosh!" Lily jumped, dropping the book in her hands then spotting it was Cara, and she bent down to pick her book up off the common room floor, "What Cara?" Lily asked, pulling back her bangs.
"Sorry for scaring you, have you seen James?" Cara asked, fidgeting her hands.
Lily nodded, "yeah about an hour ago he was down at the lake with his mates."
Cara looked at Lily funnily, "But—" she said, "That's impossible. Alice told me you were down at the lake with his mates. She saw you."
"Oh, well I was but then James came and I left." Lily told her, "And—"
"You left?" there was a funny lilt in her voice, "Why did you leave?"
Don't blush, don't blush.
Lily's face was turning red, "Oh, James and I aren't talking right now." She tried to hold the book over her warming cheeks.
"Why?" Cara questioned simply.
"No reason." Lily muttered, standing up off the couch and running into someone who held onto her waist tightly.
"I need to talk to you." whispered Sirius.
"Let go of me!" Lily whispered, yanking herself out of his grasp.
"Come on. See you later Cara." Sirius grinned Cara's way and then pulled Lily to one corner of the common room; Cara's eyes scrutinized Lily the whole way.
"What do you want?" Lily asked, angrily tapping her thigh as she stared at the handsome boy who looked irked.
"Tell me what happened between you and James the night I took Snape down into the willow." He demanded.
"No." Lily answered simply, narrowing her eyes and trying to turn away, Sirius spun Lily back to face him.
"Please Lily." He begged.
"No." Lily told him again.
Why did he want to know so badly?
Did he want to see the way it hurt Lily to talk about the last time James actually talked civilly to Lily?
Did he want to make her relive the moment she already relived every time she looked into James Potter's cold hazel eyes?
Remus walked into the common room next, and Lily saw the scar on his face and an idea flew into her head. Lily turned onto Sirius and looked him in the eyes.
"Tell me what happened in the willow that night and I'll tell you what happened between James and I."
"That's none of your business." Sirius hissed as Remus walked slowly over to Sirius and Lily with a worried look on his face.
"Then what happened between James and I is none of your business." Lily answered, the coldest she had been towards Sirius Black in a long time and turned to walk to the girl's dormitories.
"What did you do?" Lily heard Remus demand of Sirius.
"Nothing." Sirius muttered.
"Lily." A voice shocked Lily as she tried to walk up the staircase to her warm bed, "We have head rounds."
Lily spun to face Potter but didn't look into his eyes, "Fine." she said simply, "Let's go."
Why did the drama have to start now?
Chapter 6: I might hate you
Chapter 6: If we weren't friends, I think I'd hate you.
"So you've never been to America and you've been able to apperate since this summer?" James stated again, like he couldn't believe what Lily was saying.
"Uhh, yes." she was unsure why James had taken a sudden interest in talking to her, had Sirius said something to him?
Lily didn't dare look into his eyes and she looked down at the floor. James deemed silent again, as if he wasn't sure he should be talking or not. Did he want to talk? Because Lily would talk his ear off if he wanted her too…but did he want her too? Maybe if she just looked at him once to see his expression—
CRASH!
Lily had looked up at the same exact time he had looked down at her. The shock of seeing right into his eyes for the first time reminded Lily of the night of the willow incident. The night he had been himself, when his sparkling eyes displayed a hint of mischief then after, displayed sheer disappointment and hurt.
The thing that shocked Lily the most was that his eyes were no longer the dull brown they had been but a sparkling array of brown and green mixed like they used to be. The shock made her trip over a suit of armor and the helmet landed smack on James's face. Gasping, Lily jumped back when the whole statue fell to pieces before her eyes.
James sat kneeling, holding his face, eyes watering. "James!" she gasped, lowering herself to look at his cheek.
Lily tore at his hand and he whispered, "Merlin that stuff hurts."
"Let me see your face you idiot!" she muttered, pulling back his hand, trying to see his face and when she did she fell back in surprise.
"What?" he laughed at her appearance then winced, Lily's stomach flipped…he laughed at her.
"Your face is turning bright red!" she whispered, "Does it hurt?"
"Like the dickens." James muttered, standing up and helping Lily up.
Lily took her wand out and waved it at the statue, "Reparo!" and then spun back to James, "Are you sure you're, all right? I am so sorry, I wasn't—"
"It's fine Lily." He sighed, "It's not like you tried to knock me out or anything."
"Come on." Lily said, pulling on his arm, "You need to see Madame Promfrey—your face is turning purple!"
"I still look great though."
"You are the most idiotic, self-absorbed…" James laughed, and Lily looked up in shock as he grinned over at her.
"You called me an idiot." He chuckled again.
"Great you're delirious!" Lily felt like screaming at the top of her lungs.
"Of course I'm not." James rolled his eyes, wincing again, "It's just you haven't offended me in such a long time, and it was weird hearing the words come out of your mouth."
Lily stared at him in shock, "well next time I see you, I'll make sure to offended you." she said sarcastically, "Now come on or your girlfriend will have my head for yours."
James laughed, "Your silly Lily." He was defiantly out of his mind, "I see why the guys think you're so cool."
She didn't think she was cool, especially when she dragged him into the hospital wing—his face twice the size of its original size and two different colors. It got better when Madame Promfrey yelled out in surprise, "Miss. Evans what happened?!" and Lily had to sit there and explain that she dropped armor on her fellow head boy.
~~~If~we~weren't~friends~I~might~actually~hate~you~~~
"Lily did you completely miss what I was just saying to you?" Cara voiced from someplace beside Lily.
"Huh? What?" Lily looked up from her paper and over at the blond who looked irked at her.
"I asked if you wanted to go to Hogsmede with me and James and his friends." She sighed and rolled her eyes, flipping one braid of thick hair behind her shoulder, "James insists I must hang out with his mates more but—"
"You don't like them." Lily stated, sucking the end of my quill, slightly ignoring Cara who was frowning at her.
"Well, they are so bigotry! Sirius looks at me with this angry face and Remus Lupin acts so…serious." She sighed, "I just can't get used to the whenever they are around and James thinks I just need to talk to them."
"So talk to them." Lily said, rolling up my essay and smiling brightly when she saw Peter and Remus wave to her from the front of the library.
"Easy for you to say." mumbled Cara, "They possibly adore you and would trade me for you any day."
"Jealous much?" Lily joked, watching as Sirius joined them in their quest over to the table.
"No, you just can't face the fact that they love you." Cara hissed as Sirius, Remus, and Peter descended upon them.
"Hey Lily, we were going to dinner and wanted to know if you wanted to tag along." Peter spoke, getting nods from Remus and Sirius in the process then turning to face Cara, "Your welcome to Cara, James is meeting us down there."
Cara pursed her lips and glared at Lily as if to say, 'I told you so.' Then spoke to Peter offhandedly, "Thanks Peter, I'll come."
Cara held back a bit to finish her essay for Muggle Studies and Lily followed her friends out the library door with all smiles. Remus grinned over at Lily and she noticed the mark on his face had all but disappeared, making a scar on his cheek.
"How was your day?" he asked with his special grin.
Lily rolled her eyes, "Cara's begging me to come to Hogsmede, so she won't have to talk to you guys."
"She hates our guts." Sirius mumbled, "And we never bullied her because Peter had such a humongous crush on her in second year."
Lily laughed when Peter tried to punch Sirius in a certain place she won't mention, and Sirius laughed too. Then Lily got serious, "Honestly, the three of you could at least try to be perfectly gentleman around her. She doesn't hate you—she's just slightly intimidated by you."
Remus rolled his eyes, "You sound like James." Remus quoted with his fingers, "You just need to be nicer to her" he imitated James's lower voice and Lily giggled at the almost perfect impression.
"Alright." Lily said, "What do you want me to say?"
"Guys your right," Sirius was now mocking Lily's voice, "Cara hates our guts and I will make James fall irrefutably in love with me so he dumps Cara and marries me."
Lily glared at Sirius and felt heat rising to her cheeks, she hated when Sirius, Remus, or Peter ruined the conversation by bringing up the fact that they liked her a whole lot more than Cara. she had to lie to herself every day that the boys were just friendly, but they had taken our friendship to the level she hadn't imagined. It was like she had been placed inside their little group…Sirius was always there in the morning with a huge smile and her favorite scones…Remus went with her to the library to do homework…and Peter, bless him, tried to fight a Slytherin after he called Lily a mudblood.
In all respects she had become like a sister to the three boys and she thought of them as her brothers.
Then there was James.
The most recent Head rounds had been interesting…she had been so nervous that she knocked over a suit of armor that fell flat on his face. As they entered the great hall, Lily spotted the large bruise on James' cheek a mile away. A blush spread over her face.
"James," Lily spoke as she got closer, "You look terrible!"
He smiled, then winced, "I've had worse."
Lily covered her face with both hands when a sixth year walked by and gasped saying, "Omigosh James what happened to your face?!"
Sirius, of course, laughed up a storm while Lily groaned into her hands, but it got better when Cara—who hadn't seen or heard of James until this afternoon—followed Frank and Alice to the table. She shrieked and grabbed James's face and James called out making Cara jump back in shock.
"James what happened?" she stammered, trying to comfort him but not sure how.
"Oh, Lily smashed my head into a suit of armor." James grinned at Lily and she wished she could disappear.
"Lily!" Cara gasped, "How could you? He looks terrible!"
Sirius was laughing so hard it was drawing eyes to the table, "He looks a whole lot better than when he came into our dorms this morning with purple slave all over his face."
"Stop it!" Lily begged, "I was tired! I accidently tripped over a suit of armor!"
"Right Lily, that's what you want us to think." Remus winked at Lily and she resisted punching him—which was unusual because she was usually a non-violent person.
"It's not all Lily's fault." James said, possibly sticking up for Lily for the first time since last year, "I should've warned her about the armor."
Cara didn't like this fact one bit, she bit her lip and sat down on the table with a small huff. Lily sat down next to her with a roll of her eyes; sometimes Cara could be just a little dramatic. The boys sat next the girls talking about some quidditch match next week against Slytherin, the first of the season. Lily smiled, she loved to go to quidditch matches and hang out with her friends.
"Do you think the team is good this year?" she asked, around Sirius's large hunched back as he hungrily put down three spoonfuls of mashed potatoes into his mouth.
James nodded as he put a huge piece of steak on Remus's plate, "Yes, we have this third year beater who knocked me out a couple of practices ago." He laughed, "I hope he takes out Sirius's brother."
They all laughed, including Cara, who laughed the loudest and put her arms around James's neck, "You're so funny James." She giggled, kind of like she was drunk on firewhiskey.
"Right." Sirius rolled his eyes and sent Lily a 'I hate you' kind of look.
'What?!' Lily mouthed back; he was acting odd, like it was Lily's fault James and Cara were together.
He rolled his grey eyes and went back to eating his potatoes. Lily glared, he was an idiot, James was grinning at Cara right now like a love-struck idiot. Nothing Lily was doing could possibly make him even glance her way anymore.
If Lily wasn't friends with Cara, she might actually hate her.
Chapter 7: Realize
Chapter 7: if you'd just realize what I'd just realized. That we'd be perfect for each other and we'll never need another…
"It's so exciting!" Peter was rocking back and forth on his toes as they all watched the players do laps around the field in their scarlet and gold outfits. "James being Captain and all!"
"Yeah but who didn't see that one coming." Sirius joked, skillfully waving his wand and braiding two girl's hair together in one long braid so when the girls stood up they bonked heads. "James had Captain pinned on him since he made the team."
Lily slapped Sirius and waved her wand so that their hair came undone out of the twists and twirls and the girls looked around for the culprits, but Sirius had already turned to wave Remus over to where they were sitting with a silent Cara. Remus sat down next to Cara and offered her some warm pumpkin juice but she turned it down and went back to face the field. Lily nudged her and she sighed.
"What Lily?" she asked, leaning over to whisper in her ear.
"They are trying to be nice to you and the least you could do is be nice back!" she hissed at Cara, flashing her eyes angrily at the blonde haired, blue eyed girl.
"He offered me pumpkin juice!" Cara hissed back, "I hate pumpkin juice!"
"Yeah. Right." Lily muttered, having seen Cara drink a whole cup that morning at breakfast.
"Merlin, it's cold." Sirius handed over his warm jacket to Remus who grinned and happily put it on without question, "November is a chilly month."
"I hate the cold." Cara said, "And I hate the wet." She pointedly looked up at the storm clouds that threatened to break.
"It's not going to rain." Said Peter cheerily, "Not today!"
"Don't count on that Peter." Said Remus glumly as a few scattered rain drops hit their faces.
Cara perked up, "Look! There's James! Isn't he handsome?"
Lily rolled my eyes but indeed, James was handsome in his brand new uniform for quidditch captain, though she wished she was down there to wipe the arrogant smirk of his face with a smart comment. Sirius sighed like a first year and put on a high, nasal voice.
"Oh he's positively handsome Cara! Maybe I'll ask him to Hogsmede this weekend!" he put on a batting of his eyelashes and Lily laughed at him.
"You two would make the perfect couple!" Lily gushed as Remus and Peter laughed.
Cara crossed her arms, "Oh you guys are hilarious!" she stood up, "I'm going to go sit over there with Alice and the girls!"
"Good riddance." Sirius muttered as Cara angrily walked over to where Alice was sitting.
Remus sighed, running his hands through his hair, "Well, so much for being friends…James isn't going to be happy about this."
Lily frowned; she had heard that James had talked to his mates, begging them to at least try and like Cara. It was getting harder and harder for Lily to like Cara as she hung around with the boys more. Lily must say, they were bad influences on her, she had never skipped class before and yesterday she had skipped Divination for a free period.
"Now the captains will shake hands…and their off! Look at them go!" The announcer shouted her from her daydream and she cheered as James Potter and Micelle Okley rushed off after the quaffle.
"Micelle is looking good this year!" Sirius shouted over the roar of the crowd, "Think she'll accompany me to Hogsmede this weekend?"
"No one will go to Hogsmede with you this weekend!" Remus laughed beside Lily, "They'll be too afraid of getting stuck in a joke shop or quidditch shop the whole time!"
Sirius pouted and Lily laughed, patting his arm like he was a dog in distress, "It's alright Sirius, Cara's instructed me I'm to go with you to Hogsmede this weekend."
The announcer made us break up our conversation "And Potter has the quaffle! And he scores! Ten points to Gryffindor!" they cheered as they watched James do a quick victory lap in his own honor.
"Look, look at the seekers!" Peter pointed to the left far end of the field where the seekers were rushing to the ground.
Only half the crowd was watching as James scored another twenty whole points for Gryffindor while our newest beater hit a bludger right at Slythern's seeker—Regulus Black—and it hit him strait in the arm. Sirius jumped and cheered beside Lily, happy his brother was knocked out of the way. They watched as the shortest game in Hogwarts history was drawn to a close with the Gryffindor seeker grabbing the golden snitch with a shout of joy.
"We won! We won!" Peter announced to the girl next to him who grinned and nodded her head.
Sirius pulled on Lily's arm and guided Lily through the crowd down to the field where they met the team with much enthusiasm. James was hugging the seeker and Lily was thinking he might actually kiss him. Remus clapped James on the back and James was pulled into hugs by all three of his friends.
"Hey Potter!" Lily called; his eyes sparkled as they looked around to meet with hers, "Great game!" She smiled and he grinned ecstatically back at Lily.
Sirius looked so happy at the conversation he dragged Lily over and squished her in-between James and him. Lily laughed and pushed herself out of the hug only to be hugged by Peter who was jumping up and down with joy at the win. Cara appeared and rushed up and kissed James with much more enthusiasm than Lily personally wanted to see, and she knew Sirius agreed because he shouted:
"Party in the common room!" and they all rushed to the common room.
Of course, the party would have lasted much later if McGonagall hadn't come in at twelve asking where her head students were. James looked up from the couch where he was sitting with Cara and Lily looked up from a rather intense game of exploding snap with Remus.
"I am happy Gryffindor won but if you are ignoring your responsibilities as heads than—" Lily interrupted the professor with a rather impish grin.
"Sorry Professor, we forgot!" Lily grabbed James rather forcefully by the arm and pulled him around McGonagall and out the portrait hole.
"Do you know what floor we are supposed to be patrolling?" James asked Lily as she randomly pulled him down to the second floor.
"Uhhh." Lily paused on the second step and James grinned rather haughtily.
"Well, well, well, Miss Evans doesn't know the schedule." He laughed and she saw a display of mischief in his hazel eyes, her stomach jumped to her throat as she realized he was playing with her.
"I do too!" Lily snapped, "It's Saturday, right? We should be on the fifth floor."
"Then let me guide you to the fifth floor." He took Lily's hand and she felt a shock run through her body, he didn't think anything of it and just lead Lily down the stairs through a hallway and up a long flight of stairs behind the statue of Wilma the Willowy.
"I didn't know this was here." She whispered as they clambered up their stairs, James let go of Lily's hand that was sweating profusely out of panic.
"Peter and Remus found it in first year." James told Lily, "We don't like to use this one so often because the flight of stairs is about a million stairs in all."
She was starting to get sweaty just climbing the stairs. They reached the landing and he guided Lily out from behind the Statue of Boris the bewildered. Lily recognized the fifth floor instantly for the mermaid picture that led to the prefect's bathrooms. She grinned at James who was pushing back his hair even though it was already windswept.
"I think you and those boys know more about Hogwarts than Old Professor Dumbledore."
"We spent half our school time trying to find the fastest ways around here." James explained, hands behind his back, "Sirius and I spent the other half running from teachers."
"Right." Lily smiled; keeping her eyes ahead to make sure she didn't run into anything again.
"They really like you, you know." James told Lily as they walked slowly along the corridor, "Sirius especially. He told me once that if he ever had a sister, he wished she would have been something like you." He chuckled at this, "He used to say you were bloody annoying and needed anger management."
"Glad we were on the same page." Lily grinned; she used to say the same exact thing about Sirius and James.
"Cara says you and her are close," he continued, "says you met each other in first year."
"Yeah," Lily now mumbled, "we were close then."
"Then?" he questioned, stopping in front of a window and looking down at the grounds, "What do you mean? You two aren't friends anymore?"
Lily shrugged, "I'm not really great friends with anyone…Sirius, Remus, and Peter are really the first close friends I've ever had. I mean Alice and Frank always had each other—lord knew they were going to be entwined from third year on—and Cara and I were always left to fend with each other…only now—" Lily fumbled words and messed with her nails.
"She has me." James mumbled, he was now looking at the floor. "What about Snape? You two were inseparable until—" he broke off.
"Severus Snape and I had come to a disagreement." Lily said coldly of her once, only best friend and then she nodded, "Yeah, so I hung out with your friends who seemed to want to hang out and it just developed from there." they looked each other in the eyes, "You have really nice friends James."
"Yeah." He breathed, looking her in the eyes, "Yeah they are pretty great aren't they?"
~~~If~you~just~would~realize~what~I~just~realized~we'd~be~perfect~for~each~other~~~
James swallowed as he said goodnight to her, her green eyes actually looking at him for the first time since the willow incident. He'd forgotten the way they would light up when she was particularly happy or turn almost grey when she worried. James called it an obsession now, he didn't have a crush on Lily Evans, he was just obsessed because of the number of years that he spent crushing on her.
Yes, that was defiantly it.
Sirius always said it was unhealthy to harbor a crush for a girl this long.
James liked Cara Daniels, who liked him back! That was the most important part, there was no drama between Cara and James. There never would be. He hadn't helped almost turn Cara's best friend into a werewolf, he hadn't made Cara and her best friend break up, he hadn't made fun of Cara's best friend all through school. James hadn't done anything to Cara in the seven years he'd known her.
Guilt?
James guessed one could call it that.
Lily stared as Lily slowly went up to her dorm where he knew Cara was already asleep. Lily's red hair shielded her face from James so that he couldn't see if it was bright red—like it always was when she was embarrassed. James felt like he should slap himself for even thinking that he could possibly ignore Lily Evans—well he could've practically ignored her if she hadn't become a marauder—practically.
James felt guilty; he felt like he ruined Lily Evans' life the night Sirius dragged Snape into the willow. James had ruined Remus's life; he had ruined his own life. Of course, he'd forgave Sirius for almost exposing Remus's werewolf secret…but James couldn't forgive himself for breaking Lily's heart.
No one could deny that Severus Snape and James hated each other the moment they laid eyes on each other, but James hated him even more for keeping Lily for himself. James couldn't understand why someone like Lily could like someone like Snape. Yet, James respected it, Snape and Lily used to be the best of friends, anyone could tell.
James knew his friends trusted each other to the upmost sincerity and James knew that there must be a reason Lily trusted Snape with so much…confidence. Of course, James was still mad when he heard that Lily and Snape were getting closer and closer.
And then Sirius took Snape it into his own hands that night at the willow…
Snape followed Sirius and Peter to the Hospital Wing, Sirius told him to get his nose out of marauder business and then got an idea.
Why not let Moony have a bit of fun with Snape?
It wouldn't matter so long as Snape didn't die…It was lucky James took the shortcut…or Snape would be dead.
James didn't think he'd ever shouted at Sirius as much as he did that night. The words they said to each other still haunted James sometimes. James trusted Sirius. James trusted him to keep Remus's secret and now the whole school almost knew because Snape saw Remus with his own eyes. James was certain Snape would tell everyone.
Only Snape didn't.
Snape never told anyone, James kept a close eye on the kid after that night. He figured, Dumbledore must've scared Snape into keeping quiet. Only then Lily Evans started hanging around James' mates more…and James noticed that she was particularly observant of Remus. She blushed scarlet when she picked up the tonic at the Quidditch shop this summer, she always was asking for Remus "how was he?" and all that load of garbage.
James knew Snape told Lily. James also knew Lily didn't believe it entirely—and wouldn't until one of the boys told her—but Lily still had an idea and it worried James. Everything about Lily worried me…he thought she had stopped talking to James the night that he refused to tell her about Snape. James know knew she was just trying to hide something else in that shy (which was not normal for Lily Evans) disposition.
James was unhealthy obsessed with a girl whom he was not dating, James had been obsessed with Lily since third year…and maybe Sirius was right. Maybe James did need to ditch Cara Daniels. He waspractically cheating on Cara with a girl who was confusing the socks right off of him.
Life sucked.
Chapter 8: Invisible
Chapter 8: She can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile…we could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable…instead of just invisible.
Lily paid for my gillywater at the bar as she watched Sirius try and talk to some fifth-year girls giggling by the doorway. Remus was sitting at a table with Peter and they were both looking over a book they had gotten James for Christmas. Lily frowned; she had gotten James a watch for Christmas, nothing crazy. Cara would likely try to buy him something over the top…wherever she was.
"Lily?" she jumped and looked around to see James smiling at her, "Where are the boys?"
"Sirius spotted some fifth-year girls." Lily nodded in Sirius' direction and James laughed.
"Ah." He laughed softly and sat down next to Lily, "Yeah, I got ditched too, Cara went to go Christmas shopping for me, and I couldn't go with her."
Lily smiled into my gillywater, pointing to the bags at her feet, "I just finished shopping for everyone. I'm broke now."
"What did you get me?" he asked, leaning over the counter to stare at Lily and she found herself blushing—that was a new habit these days.
"Nothing." Lily snapped, playfully grinning, "Unless you got me something?"
James looked offended, "Me? Not get one of my best friends a gift?" he shook his head, "I can't believe you Lily."
"So I'm your best friend now?" she teased, "According to Sirius you can't understand why I hang out with the boys now so much."
James grinned as Rosemerta the barmaid passed him a butterbeer on the house, "Yeah well ever since you hit me over the head with that suit of armor I've decided we should be mates."
That stupid thing in her stomach flipped when Lily saw his eyes twinkle, and she raised an eyebrow, "Let me get this straight…" Lily put her finger to her lips, "I was not considered your best mate until I hit you over the head right?"
He nodded and drowned the butterbeer on one swing, "Yup." He wiped his mouth arrogantly and smiled at her.
Lily rolled my eyes and slapped his arm playfully, "You're a nutcase James Potter."
"Which is why we love him." Sirius came up behind the couple and threw his arms around the both of them, "What do you say you two love-birds and I head over to the table where Remus and Peter are waiting ever so patiently?"
Lily blushed when Sirius said the two love bird's thing and James muttered his name in an annoyed tone. Lily thinks James might murder Sirius one day, if she didn't get to him first. Remus and Peter stuffed James's Christmas present back in the Zonko's joke bag and they sat in the booth. Lily flipped her packages over Peter's lap onto the floor and snuggled into the warmth.
"Where's Cara, James?" Remus asked, scooting over and making room for Sirius.
"She's present shopping for me and I wasn't allowed to come with her." James rolled his eyes, "If she buys me anything over the top I might just dump her…" he laughed, "Or maybe I'll just give it to you Remus."
Remus held up his hand to stop James from saying anymore, "No thanks Prongs, you have something to give me? Give me a few fifty galleons."
Lily froze as the boys laughed and Lily looked at James's face.
Did the other three notice how James got a guilty look in his eyes?
Did they know that every month James put money into Remus's account at Gringrotts?
Lily doubted that even Peter knew because he slapped Remus on the back.
"Good one Moony." Peter drank a bit of Lily's gillywater without asking.
Lily slapped his hand off her cup and then said, "Why do you four have the most ridiculous nicknames?" she rolled her eyes, "Honestly, moony, padfoot, prongs, and bloody wormtail? What did you guys get those from?"
"It fits our personalities Lily-pad." Sirius winked at Lily and chugged Remus's drink without asking.
Lily glared at Sirius, "I doubt that wormtail fit any of you. None of you are Slytherins are you?"
"Aww, I'm offended Lily." Peter put a hand to his heart as the others laughed, "I'm wormtail!"
"But why?" Lily proceeded to insist, "It's a bit stupid don't you think?"
"It's not stupid." Remus spoke up after taking his drink from Sirius, "We've called each other by these nicknames since forever really."
Lily tilted her head, "Do I have a nickname?" James froze like he was placed under a freezing charm beside Lily.
Sirius laughed, and Lily noticed he didn't catch James's angered look, "Of course, you're our Lily-flower!" he ruffled Lily's hair and she glared at him as she placed her bangs back to their normal position.
James relaxed and grinned at Lily, "Lily-flower it is."
Lily slapped them all as they laughed at their stupid nick-name. Secretly, Lily felt appreciated that the boys had included her in their little game. She smiled as she stirred her gillywater and James flexed his fingers before thumb wrestling Sirius across from us.
"Looks like all of you are having fun." Cara had appeared with packages on her arms.
"Hey Cara." James jumped up and kissed her cheek, "What did you get me?"
She slapped his arm away from the bags without taking her eyes off Lily, where she had been conveniently located between James and Peter. Lily stared back not liking the suspicion that she spotted in Cara's eyes.
That reaction was defiantly not good.
James wrapped his arms around Cara and tried to make her sit down but Cara stepped back, out of his arm.
"No, James, I want to drop this stuff at our dorm." Cara said, her eyes left Lily's face and traveled over the cold table that stared back with every bit of dislike, "I'm going back to the castle."
"I'll go with you," James gave into her evil disposition, "See you guys later." He winked at me, "Later Lily-flower!"
Lily tried her hardest not to blush as James walked away with his arm around Cara's waist. They were only friends, only friends. He would never like Lily anywhere the same as she liked him. James wouldn't like Lily after all she'd done to him. There was no way he could possibly think of Lily that way again.
Sirius made a rude hand gesture at Cara's retreating back.
"Ugh! Did you see the way she stared at us?" Sirius mouthed, "I can't believe James doesn't see it!"
"He does." Remus twirled the bottle of butterbeer in his hands lazily, "Haven't you noticed he's been spending a little less time with Cara? And more with us?"
Sirius flicked a peanut shell to the floor, irked, "Why can't he storm in here, kiss Lily—finally—and just make us all happy?"
Lily placed her palms on the table and came face to face with Sirius, her eyes felt like they were burning, "Because Sirius, if you haven't noticed, for the past seven years I spent the time telling James Potter to get a life and it finally got past his thick head." she grabbed my packages, "I'm going to the castle, if I'm not at dinner tonight Cara murdered me."
Lily rushed out feeling that my eyes were still burning. What she had told Sirius was repeating over and over in her head. It was strait from her heart, Lily told James Potter to get a girl and now he had one. And Lily wanted him now. Go Figure.
~~~She~can't~see~the~way~your~eyes~light~up~when~you~smile~~~
"Golly, head Rounds sure do take up all your sleep time." James yawned beside Lily as they traveled up the stairs to their separate dormitories.
Lily laughed softly, "Maybe it would have kept you awake longer if you and Sirius didn't have three helpings of vinegar pie at dinner."
James's eyes twinkled at Lily, "See you in the morning Lily." He grinned.
"Goodnight." Lily smiled softly and trampled up the stairs.
Still smiling she went to my room, brushing her hair out in long strokes and thinking. Cara glanced up from her bed, she was rather moody today
"Out all night with James. Again." Cara said in Lily's direction.
"If you've forgotten Cara, we are head boy and girl." Lily reminded the jealous blond-haired girl as she gazed at herself in the mirror, "We have to do these so called midnight strolls."
Cara stood up out of bed, "Just like you have to hang out with his mates all the time, you have to smile and act all silly whenever James comes around, you have to break up the best thing that's ever happened to me!" she stomped her foot.
Lily glared at her, "Your being a tad over dramatic. Don't you think?"
"No!" Cara cried, tears falling down her face, "You're my friend Lily! You're not supposed to steal my boy friend!"
Lily threw her brush on the ground, spinning on Cara, "I didn't steal anything! James and I are just friends Cara!"
"How do I know that?" asked Cara coldly, blue eyes flashing, "James has adored you since day one and you suddenly blush whenever you're around him…"
"Do not!" Lily yelled back, like a four-year-old, causing her ears to turn bright red.
Cara's face was red too, "I hate you Lily Evans!" she cried, "I wish I'd never met you!"
"Yeah?" Lily went over to her four-poster bed and drew the curtains, "Same to you!"
Now that Lily wasn't friends with Cara Daniels, she could legally hate her guts.
So there's the first half. I was a pretty dramatic writer back then.
Who am I kidding?
I still am ;)
lovelovelove
Petals
