Title: "Desperate Measures"
Author's Note: Set somewhere between "Out of Gas" and "Ariel".


"Remind me again why we're takin' this job."

" 'Because it's better than Alliance makework.' Those were your exact words, sir."

"Thank you, Zoe. I needed to hear that."

"Also because Badger insisted."

"Didn't I say something about not mentioning…"

"And then there was the fact that you let Jayne persuade you we could get the money for the engine repairs by betting on the poodle in that race."

"OK, I admit, listenin' to Jayne is rarely a good thing, but that poodle had a reputation that…"

"Do I even need to mention the meds shortage after the gunshot wound that salvage captain gave you got infected?"

"No. You really don't."

The two of them leaned on the catwalk's railing and stared out across Serenity's cargo hold, Mal glumly, Zoe impassively.

"Of all the jobs in the 'verse, we had to end up running this."

"Badger did seem a bit… amused at the prospect, sir."

"Word of this gets out, our reputation's going to suffer a tad."

"I know, sir."

"But it's still better than working as an Alliance cargo scow."

"Agreed."

"And I want no word of this getting to the rest of the crew, hear?"

"You don't think they'd want to know where the money's coming from?"

"Oh, I imagine they will. I also imagine Simon wondering what the big fuss was, Inara laughing herself silly at the thought of it, and Jayne getting tetchy about carrying some fancified fèhuà like this. Headaches like that I don't need."

Mal pensively sipped coffee from the mug he held, then frowned at the lukewarm beverage. Zoe tossed a concerned glance at him.

"We've had rough stretches before, and come out on top in the end. This ain't no different, captain."

"I know, I know. It's just … herbal tea? Why'd it have to be herbal tea"

"Well, Badger did say…"

"That méiyôu mûqin de xiao gôu can qiàng xiong mao niao for all I care. I know what he said, about there bein' buyers out on the Rim that pay hand over fist for this stuff. Don't make it any more palatable."

"You sure it's worth getting this worked up about it? It's just one cargo, sir."

"I know that. It's … humiliating, is all. Next thing you know, we'll be smuggling dolls or some such thing."

They stared at each other silently for a moment, then as one said, "Naah."


Chinese:
- fèhuà – "garbage"
- méiyôu mûqin de xiao gôu – "motherless cur"
- qiàng xiong mao niao – "choke on panda urine"