Title: Habits
Description: songfic to Linkin Park's Breaking the Habit.Not a oneshot! Sora has an old habit he can't get rid of break. Will it end up costing his life?
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Disney and Sqauresoft does, or Breaking the Habit, Linkin Park does.
AU: Olik (if you've read 'Will you save me from myself' you'd know who he was) and me aren't talking anymore so it's been a tough couple of weeks. I need a editer person now. He was mine, even though he was horribe at it. So yeah. If you want to just say so in a reveiw!
Chapter 1: Prologe
Two boys sat on the pier and watched the sunset into the ocean. The sky was was blood red and dark orange like it normally was. It was always nice and warm out even in the winter. Like that old saying 'Red in morning sailors take waring, red a night sailors delight.' or something like that. The boy closest to the tied up boats was taller then the other. He had shoulder length silver-blonde hair and aqua-green eyes filled with concern and worry. He was wearing navy blue jean shorts and a loose white t-shirt with a huge Final Fantasy 7 picture on the back. The other boy looked younger by at least a year. He had spikey cinamin brown hair and pure blue eyes filled with innocence and curiosity.He was wearing the same as the blonde but instead of a white t-shirt it was a black one. The younger of the two look at his best friend.
"Riku?" He got a quiet huh from the blonde. "Can I sleep over tonight? I don't...want to go home."
Riku looked at the brunette and smiled. "Of course you can, Sora. We're best friends. I'd rather you stay over my house then go to yours." Sora smiled huge and said thanks. "We can watch the new movie my mom bought. What was it called?..." Riku looked in to the sky, his smile replaced by his thinking face, and to Sora it was to hallarious to not laugh. Riku glared at the laughing boy. "Hey! Stop laughing! Stop it!"
After the brunette calmed down he stood up, looking a little nervous about something. "Umm... Riku?" The blonde tilted his head to the side a little in a questioning motion. "Umm... well... nevermind. It's stupid."
Riku looked at Sora confused. Then grabbed Sora's legs, pulling him to the ground. Riku pinned his legs down with his knees then pinned Sora wrists above his head, putting his face close to Sora's, making Sora blush like crazy. "Tell me." Riku said in a soft un-threat like way. "I don't care if it's stupid. I wanna know."
"Um... well it's.. um... well..." He turned his face to the side, facing the beach.
"See it's not stupid. Or you wouldn't have a problem saying it or wouldn't have to make up an excuse." The blonde smirked a little.
Sora looked at Riku and glared patheticly. "I hate you."
"No, you don't."
"So. Right now I do!"
"Right... back on to the subject. Tell me!"
The glare went away and his eyes looked different but it went unnoticed by the elder teen. Sora blushed majorly, Riku noticed this and looked confused as hell. Before he could figure out why his best friend was blushing, a pair of lips were pressed to his. The blonde's eyes went huge as he relized Sora had just kissed him. Riku stayed there in shock even when Sora pulled away.
"Well now you know. Can you get off me now?" His voice sounded colder than before. Even a little empty. Riku climbed of of Sora and stood up holding his hand to his lips.
Riku came back to relization. Sora was gay. A looked of disgust wiped over his face. "Ooh my god. Ooh my god! I can't beleive this!" He wiped his mouth over and over again trying to get whatever Sora had off of him. "You're gay! What the fuck? And to think I was your friend, fucking fag! Stay the fuck away from me, freak!" Riku climbed into the boat closest to the open ocean. The sun had finished setting and it was almost pitch back out. He grabbed the paddle and paddled away from his crying ex-friend.
Sora stayed there crying til he couldn't cry anymore , which was a few hours, making it almost midnight. When Sora finally got home he wiped his tear stained face dry then walked in quietly. Luckily the door was unlocked cause he didn't bring his key. His dad wasn't home yet or else the door would be locked Sora there or not. Sora walked into the house then down the hallway to his right then into the first door on the right, the bathroom. The brunette turned the water on all the up and began to fill the tub. He took off his clothes peice by peice. He openned the medican cabinet and pulled out a razor.
Once the tub was filled up just enough he climbed in. The brunette sighed as his thoughts replayed the excact words over and over again memorizing the tone and way he said it and everything. Ooh my god! Ooh my god! I can't beleive this! You're gay! What the fuck? And to think I was your friend, fucking fag! Stay the fuck away from me, freak! Sora was tempted to cry again but didn't have any tears left. He put the razor to his wrist and pushed down slightly, spwiping it across quickly. Sora flinched a little at the pain but as it began to bleed the pain went away. He did it a couple more times, each time getting the same reaction. He put his bleeding arm into the water and watched in delight as he saw the water turn slightly pink. He rinsed the razor off and put it on the sink counter, seeing as it was in arms reach. He didn't even bother washing up, he just climbed out, cuts still bleeding and flicked the lever to let the water drain out.
He wrapped a towel around his waist and went all the way down that hallway, turning left and walking to the end wall. He put his left unharmed arm to the wall then dragged it across about a half foot and watched the bottom left corner open. He crawled into the dark room. He stood up and put his hands together in a loud clap then raised his hands up, while they're still together, then opened them up, his left hand hitting a cord. The brunette pulled on the cord slightly and a light came on. The room was fairly small while it was filled with everything in it. On the far wall there was a bed in the way of normal sized door, and right next to that was a dusty dresser. Next to him was an ancient looking end table covered with dust. Sora walked over to the bed and sat down on it. He layed on his side then put his head on the pillow. Pulling his knees into his chest he sobbed but no tears feel.
I'm glad I have my own little place no one knows about. Only me. Even my dad can't find me here. He sighed a little. I can't beleive I did that! What am I stupid! Obviously! I knew Riku hated gays! Why the fuck did I have to mention anything? Now he won't even let me near him, let alone talk to him and say sorry for taking his first kiss and scarring him for life. Sora sighed again. Then yawned. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall near him. Geez I was crying for almost two hours! It was almost 10:30 pm, meaning the sun had finished setting around 8:30 pm. He closed his eyes and yawned again. Slowly he dozed asleep, his cut up arm falling cuts up, bleeding slowly stopping.
In the morning Sora woke up slowing, eyes ajusting to the surrounding light. He yawned and stretched only having to pull his right arm to his chest in pain. He had to bit his lip to not scream out and give away his position. After the pain decreased he looked at his arm. How could I have forgotten yesterday? The cuts were all scabbed over. The brunette slightly rubbed his index finger over a place one of the cuts was supposed to be. There was about 15 cuts, the razor had had 3 blades on it. I wonder if anyone'd notice? Well I'll just have to find out now won't I. He stood up and walked to the end of the bed, to the dresser, and opened the bottom drawer. He pulled out some boxers and a pair of socks, then shut the drawer. He opened the one right above it and pulled out a black t-shirt that said 'Life sucks then you die.' on it and a pair of black pants that had two chains already attacked to it. He looked at the clock. It's only 8:00am. He sighed. Well I'm glad the morons that lived here before left their clothes. It let me dress how I feel. He put them on then walked over to the left corner and knock three times on the wall a foot abovethe floor and the door openned so he crawled out.
He looked at his arm. All the blood dried around the cuts so badly you couldn't even see the cuts. Deciding that he sould wash it a little so you could acually see the cuts. He walked down the hallway, turned right, then walked to the next fork in the house and turned right again walking the second door on the left and went in it. The sink was right next to him and next to that, passed some counter tops, was the frig.to the left of him was a door to the laundry room. Sora walked over to the sink and put his arm under it the color of the water turning a dark pink maybe even red at the touch. Sora winched a little as the blood melted away, but he became use to it. Once the blood was gone and the cuts were open slightly and patted down his wrist with a hand towel that was on the handle pully thingy(1) on the oven door. The cuts stopped bleeding almost instantly. Well better go to the island.
Sora walked out of the house hiding a key to the house under the welcome mat. The brunette walked across the street to the peir were only his boat was tied up. He climbed in and untied his boat. He then paddled over to the play island as the kids of the main island called it, and docked his boat on the other side of the island. He climbed out and walked over to the shore shack were everyone, meaning Selphie, Tidus, Leon, Cloud, Riku, Kairi, Aerith, Wakka, ect., was talking. As he came closer Riku walked away followed by everyone one by one. The only people left were Leon and Cloud. Sora walked over to them.
"So Riku told you guys?" He was slightly blushing but he was more sad then anything. Both teens nodded.
"Hey it's ok! Smile!" Cloud smiled stupidly causing Sora to giggle. The blonde attached himself to Leon's left arm. "I'm gay and sourpuss is bi!" Cloud whispered and added. "But sh-h... it's a secret. Everyone here's to closed minded. They need to get out more. A couple new things never hurt anyone!" Sora opened his mouth then closed it as Cloud added. "Well it never killed anyone."
"Acually it did. Penty of times." Leon added dully.
Cloud glared at him. "Ooh shut up! I'm trying to make him feel better, partypooper!" The blonde yelled at the obviously more mature one out of the three. Leon rolled his eyes mumbling a quiet whatever. "Ooh you know you love me." A quiet so was heard causing Sora to burst out laughing which caused Cloud to laugh and Leon to blush horribly.
"Thanks.. laugh... guys.. you made me feel so...laugh much better." Sora tryed to get out in a whole sentence with out laughing but failed.
"Sora there's just one more thing."
"Yeah, what's with the serious tone? It doesn't go good with you."
"Well, I'd love to hang out with you and all but..." Sora frowned. "... you know. We don't want to be seen around a person they all know as a gay. I'm sorry but.. yea..." Cloud looked at the ground as he turned around and slowly walked away. Leon mumbled a sorry and ran to his lover.
Sora looked at the ground. They didn't even notice either. Sora looked up and saw Selphie looking at him, frowning. Sora turned and began to walk back to his boat. Selphie gasped as she saw a glipse of the cuts as Sora raised them to his chest and began scratching at them, opening them back up, then letting it fall to his side again, blood dripping down his arm then to the ground. Selphie ran over to Sora.
"Sora! What happened!" Sora turned to face her, biting his lip.
"Happened to what?" He played dumb.
"Your arm!" She grabbed his hand and turned it so the cut were facing her. "Did you do those!" She visably paled at the thought.
"No of course not. What do you think I am? Suicidal? Acually... I just hit right on the head." He smiled slightly.
"But why? You look so happy all the time. No matter the situation..." Sora cut her off.
"Yeah well have you ever heard the one you love call you a fag? To never to near him? It hurt more then these. I hell of a lot more." Sora took a deep breath. "Everything breaks once in a while. I've even seen Riku break down. Yesterday was my turn. But there was no one there to comfort me like the whole fucking school was there for him. My life is wa-ay more hard then anyone could fucking imagion. You see my shirt. Read it." He turned around "Now read the back. That's my fucking moto for life sense I was five. I fucking five year old shouldn't have this as a moto!" Sora started walking to his boat again, only to be stopped by a frim hand on his shoulder, that wasn't Selphie's. He turned around and starred into his love's eye's. "R-Riku?"
"So you're cutting yourself. Good. One less fag on this planet. I don't want to see you talking to Selphie ever again. Let alone make her cry, fag." Sora looked to the ground. Then looked back to Riku. But instead of having his normal pure blue eyes they were a dull grey, no life or soul, emotion or anything in them. They were totally empty. Riku gripped harder on to Sora shoulder, pretty much breaking it, if not spaining it, but Sora didn't even move. A sickening crack was heard of a broken bone and Sora still didn't move. Riku's hand formed into a fist and punched the brunette square in the jaw but not breaking it. A little blue appeared in Sora's eyes.
"That's it? That's all you're going to do? I felt worse from my father." He said father like it was venom.
Selphie's eyes grew wide but Riku filled with more hatred. Selphie noticed this instantly. "Riku stop! Look at him! You beat up your best friend!" Riku shot a glare at her. If glares could kill Selphie would of die at least a 100 times in the second.
"Do not call me and this faggot friends! Let alone best friends!" Riku turned back to Sora. "So.. you dad beats you? He a fag too? That why you mom left him?"
"My father murdered my mother in front of me! I fucking hate him! He raped my older sister then killed her! She was only 12 at the time not much older then me. You want to stay on this subject. I have plenty of stories to tell you. That I've been hopitalize because of him. Even though he''s rich as hell I live in a room smaller than a closet. I get raped nightly prettty much! My only excape was coming here and playing with you and my friends. Only to be stabbed in the back after one of my secrets gets out! I don't blame them though. I'm fucking disgusting! I get told almost every fucking day. Now the one person that kept me going broke my shoulder and punched me in the jaw! So those enough secrets to give me an excuse to commit suicide, Selphie?" Sora looked over to the retreting form of Selphie. "Yeah that's what I thought." Sora looked back at a purely pissed off Riku. "Can you let me go now?"
"Don't talk to me like that!" Riku punched him in the gut, lifting him offthe ground slightly.
"And here I'm thinking that you'd care. I guess that was a laugh, huh?" Sora smiled slightly. Once he broke away from Riku's grip he stood there. "How about punch me." The brunette pointed to his left temple. "Right there. Hard enough to knock me out for life but not kill me. Or just kill me. I'll get to it eventally anyway."
"Not today, fag. I want to see you suffer." Riku smirked and walked away. Leaving Sora with a broken shoulder and a couple fractures, a bruised jaw and bleed arm. "See ya later. I told my mom I was sleeping over. Hope your dad won't mind if I just show up. Not."
Sora walked back to his boat and paddled away.
AU: I hope it was good! I didn't think so when I reread though it but it'll get better hopefully! Starting next chapter is the songfic. I completely forgot this was a sonfic so I didn't write any lyrics in it! Sorry! Well tell me how you like it on a scale of 1 (least) to 20 (highest).
