Part 1/3
Title : Expectations
1.1.1.1.1.1.1 Author : Sophie
Website : http://www.geocities.com/spikesophiesteph/index.html
Part : 1/ 1
Pairing : S/B, C/A
1.1.1.1.1.1.2 Disclaimer: I owe nothing
Rating:PG-13
Spoilers: General Season 6 Buffy and Season 3 Angel
Distribution: Sure, just let me know where.
Feedback: Of course! sophie_limbourg@hotmail.com
Summary: Buffy has trouble to cope with her relationship with Spike…
Author's note : In my universe, Xander and Anya are married and on their honeymoon, Tara and Willow are back together .Cordelia still has painful visions.
Sorry for any grammar or spelling error, English is not my first language !
Standing in front of the pregnancy tests shelf, Buffy hesitated. What are you doing? She thought. You want to buy a pregnancy test because you think you might be pregnant by a vampire. This is just ridiculous.
It had all started a few days before, when she had got up in the morning feeling sick. It has not been the first time. First she had thought of an indigestion but it was not that. Then Tara had made this comment about morning sickness –she was still the only one who knew about Spike- and Buffy had been completely freaked out.
" Hey, I'm joking " Tara had said." There's no way you could be pregnant. I mean with Spike…It's impossible, right ?"
"Should be…but Angel is a vampire, and he had Connor."
Tara thought about that for a minute.
"Yes, but Darla was a vampire."
"And I'm the Slayer."
Tara had found nothing to respond to that. Then Buffy had said, shaking her head:
" No, it's impossible. It's something else. I'm sure."
But she had not felt convinced at all
And here she was now, in her bathroom, holding this test and looking at it like she could get a contagious disease from it.
Just do it. Now. You know it will be negative anyway.
She came back in her room and the waiting started. She lied down on her bed, her hart beating a little too fast.
Of course she had never use protection with him. It wasn't supposed to be necessary. And they were so lost into each other the last times that they wouldn't have thought anyway. So, a baby…no, no, that could not happen. She had just started to accept that she was kind of involved with him. The idea of being pregnant was way to scary to even consider it. She had a job that sucked, she was in charge of her 15 years old sister and she was only twenty-one.
Oh, and the father of that baby ? A neutered vampire named Spike and formerly known as her sworn enemy. Talk about worst timing and bigger mistake ever !
Time was up. She went to the bathroom, took the test and looked.
It was negative.
Of course.
She knew that.
Back in her room, she sat on her bed, expecting a huge wave of relief anytime now.
But it never came.
Disappointment did. A big feeling of disappointment that took form in her throat as a sob. Then another. Followed by tears suddenly flooding freely on her cheeks.
And that feeling of disappointment…that was the scariest thing of all.
The sun was setting. Buffy was sitting in the kitchen, still holding the test in her hand. Dawn had called saying she would stay over at her friend's house and Buffy had not object, even though it was a school night. She needed some time alone.
So she was not pregnant. She should be happy about it. But she could not get rid of that awful sadness she was feeling. How could she feel like that, for God's sake ? A baby with Spike ! That was the last thing on earth that would ever happen !
The back door opened and Spike came in.
"Evening luv."
He saw her, sitting in the dark, with a very non- happy face. A face with "I cried all day" written all over it.
She looked at him but said nothing. Her eyes were full of sadness and dismay.
" Hey. What happened ? Are you all right ? Is it Dawn ?"
" No…Dawn's ok."
"Oh…good."
She looked back at her hands. He came behind her, put his arms around her.
" What's bothering you, pet ?"
For a few minutes she closed her eyes and relaxed against his chest. She turned her head in his neck, relishing in the scent of him. Then she opened her hand and showed him the test.
" What is…a pregnancy test ?"
She nodded.
" It's negative"
"Of course it is. Why…How…I mean, why did you think you were pregnant ?"
She shrugged.
" I was feeling sick and Tara said…And there was the Angel/Connor thing…I just thought, maybe…this is ridiculous, I know."
Spike frowned, not knowing exactly how to react.
"Well, if you had ask me…"
"Ask you ? What are you , a gynecologist ?"
Taken aback by her harshness, he let go of her.
" Is that why you cried ? Because you thought you were pregnant ?"
He couldn't help but feel hurt that she would consider it so awful. Of course it would not be the most clever thing to do, but still…
She got up, putting some distance between them.
" No. I cried when…when I realized I was not."
"You…what ?"
This time, he smiled.
"Baby…"
He took a step towards her but she raised her hand.
" No. You don't understand. This is not a good thing."
His smile vanished. He frowned again.
" You're right, I don't understand. You're not pregnant. You're sorry about it. Well, I am too, if you want to know."
She shot him a surprised glance.
"Don't give me that look. I bet you didn't think about it, right ?"
He sighed.
" I thought we were further than that, Buffy. I have feelings too. Why do I have to remind you that ?"
She looked embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, it's just…the whole thing really freaked me out and…"
" Don't, Buffy. Please…Don't take this as an excuse to push me away…again."
" I don't ! She lied. But it's getting too fast…too much. I need some time to sort things out."
She was acting like a total coward and wasn't very proud about it. But she couldn't help herself. When he was around, she could not think properly.
" What do you want me to do ?"he asked in a miserable tone." Stay away ? Is that what you want?"
He came closer, putting his hands on her cheeks.
" Are you ready to give up on this…"
He kissed her sweetly in the neck.
"And this…"
Put a caressing hand on her breasts.
"And this…"
He finally took her lips in a deep kiss.
" I love you. But I can't stand your constant changes of mind anymore. This time, if you ask me to stay away, I will. For good. It'll hurt like hell, but I'll do it."
Buffy acquiesced, tears in her eyes. His kiss had left her speechless. She was so confused…she opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
" It's up to you, now, love."
And he left.
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.1 Hyperion Hotel, L.A
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.2
" Vision ! "
Angel got up just in time to catch Cordelia before she felt. He helped her sitting.
" Painkillers…please," she moaned as a worried Angel gave them to her. Those visions were becoming more and more unbearable.
" Are you ok ? " he asked
Cordelia slowly massaged her forehead.
" I guess…but that was strange…"
" What ? What did you see ? "
" Spike…I saw Spike"
Angel frowned.
" Was he attacking someone ? Buffy ? "
" No…that's the weird thing. He seemed to be the one in danger.
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.2.1 Sunnydale
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.2.2
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.2.3 Buffy had started the evening with slaying intentions, but when she had realized that her paths led her always to Spike's crypt, she had given up. I'd better get home and go to bed, she thought.
She took a coffee at the Espresso Pump, headed towards home…and bumped into Spike.
" Sorry, Slayer. I hadn't see you "
Somehow she doubted that, but didn't say anything.
" How are you doing ? "
" Good", she said in a very firm voice." Very good. You ? "
" Yeah, yeah. "
He showed the paper bag he was carrying.
" Got some blood at Willy's before going home."
" Oh…Ok. "
He looked at her. She was pale with blue circles under her beautiful eyes. She looked everything but good. Not my problem anymore, he thought. Then why are you still here ? He couldn't help himself.
" Are you ok ? For once you look paler than me."
" No, I'm fine. Just a little tired."
His gaze met hers. Neither of them seemed eager to leave. It was like they wanted to tell a million things but couldn't form a single word.
Buffy was struggling inside, fighting the urge to give in and lean into his arms. Especially when he was staring at her like this, with genuine worry in his blue eyes.
I broke up with him two days ago, not really nicely, and still he's here, all concerned…
She suddenly realized that the still hot coffee she was holding was burning the palm of her hand.
" I…I'd better go, now. "
" Ok. Well…Bye."
" Bye," she said in a soft voice.
It took her every effort to put one step in front of the other and go away.
" Buffy…"
She turned around.
"Yes ?"
"I miss you."
That almost got the best of her. But he didn't let her the time to react and moved away quickly. Buffy felt tears threatening to overflow and took a deep breath.
" I miss you too, Spike."
God how she hated to see him leave.
She was about to insert the key in the lock when Willow opened the door.
" Buffy…We've got visitors."
" Now ? Who…"
She came in the living room. The first thing she noticed was the tall figure with a black coat she remembered so well.
"Hey Buffy."
"Angel ?"
TBC…
Title : Expectations
1.1.1.1.1.1.1 Author : Sophie
Website : http://www.geocities.com/spikesophiesteph/index.html
Part : 1/ 1
Pairing : S/B, C/A
1.1.1.1.1.1.2 Disclaimer: I owe nothing
Rating:PG-13
Spoilers: General Season 6 Buffy and Season 3 Angel
Distribution: Sure, just let me know where.
Feedback: Of course! sophie_limbourg@hotmail.com
Summary: Buffy has trouble to cope with her relationship with Spike…
Author's note : In my universe, Xander and Anya are married and on their honeymoon, Tara and Willow are back together .Cordelia still has painful visions.
Sorry for any grammar or spelling error, English is not my first language !
Standing in front of the pregnancy tests shelf, Buffy hesitated. What are you doing? She thought. You want to buy a pregnancy test because you think you might be pregnant by a vampire. This is just ridiculous.
It had all started a few days before, when she had got up in the morning feeling sick. It has not been the first time. First she had thought of an indigestion but it was not that. Then Tara had made this comment about morning sickness –she was still the only one who knew about Spike- and Buffy had been completely freaked out.
" Hey, I'm joking " Tara had said." There's no way you could be pregnant. I mean with Spike…It's impossible, right ?"
"Should be…but Angel is a vampire, and he had Connor."
Tara thought about that for a minute.
"Yes, but Darla was a vampire."
"And I'm the Slayer."
Tara had found nothing to respond to that. Then Buffy had said, shaking her head:
" No, it's impossible. It's something else. I'm sure."
But she had not felt convinced at all
And here she was now, in her bathroom, holding this test and looking at it like she could get a contagious disease from it.
Just do it. Now. You know it will be negative anyway.
She came back in her room and the waiting started. She lied down on her bed, her hart beating a little too fast.
Of course she had never use protection with him. It wasn't supposed to be necessary. And they were so lost into each other the last times that they wouldn't have thought anyway. So, a baby…no, no, that could not happen. She had just started to accept that she was kind of involved with him. The idea of being pregnant was way to scary to even consider it. She had a job that sucked, she was in charge of her 15 years old sister and she was only twenty-one.
Oh, and the father of that baby ? A neutered vampire named Spike and formerly known as her sworn enemy. Talk about worst timing and bigger mistake ever !
Time was up. She went to the bathroom, took the test and looked.
It was negative.
Of course.
She knew that.
Back in her room, she sat on her bed, expecting a huge wave of relief anytime now.
But it never came.
Disappointment did. A big feeling of disappointment that took form in her throat as a sob. Then another. Followed by tears suddenly flooding freely on her cheeks.
And that feeling of disappointment…that was the scariest thing of all.
The sun was setting. Buffy was sitting in the kitchen, still holding the test in her hand. Dawn had called saying she would stay over at her friend's house and Buffy had not object, even though it was a school night. She needed some time alone.
So she was not pregnant. She should be happy about it. But she could not get rid of that awful sadness she was feeling. How could she feel like that, for God's sake ? A baby with Spike ! That was the last thing on earth that would ever happen !
The back door opened and Spike came in.
"Evening luv."
He saw her, sitting in the dark, with a very non- happy face. A face with "I cried all day" written all over it.
She looked at him but said nothing. Her eyes were full of sadness and dismay.
" Hey. What happened ? Are you all right ? Is it Dawn ?"
" No…Dawn's ok."
"Oh…good."
She looked back at her hands. He came behind her, put his arms around her.
" What's bothering you, pet ?"
For a few minutes she closed her eyes and relaxed against his chest. She turned her head in his neck, relishing in the scent of him. Then she opened her hand and showed him the test.
" What is…a pregnancy test ?"
She nodded.
" It's negative"
"Of course it is. Why…How…I mean, why did you think you were pregnant ?"
She shrugged.
" I was feeling sick and Tara said…And there was the Angel/Connor thing…I just thought, maybe…this is ridiculous, I know."
Spike frowned, not knowing exactly how to react.
"Well, if you had ask me…"
"Ask you ? What are you , a gynecologist ?"
Taken aback by her harshness, he let go of her.
" Is that why you cried ? Because you thought you were pregnant ?"
He couldn't help but feel hurt that she would consider it so awful. Of course it would not be the most clever thing to do, but still…
She got up, putting some distance between them.
" No. I cried when…when I realized I was not."
"You…what ?"
This time, he smiled.
"Baby…"
He took a step towards her but she raised her hand.
" No. You don't understand. This is not a good thing."
His smile vanished. He frowned again.
" You're right, I don't understand. You're not pregnant. You're sorry about it. Well, I am too, if you want to know."
She shot him a surprised glance.
"Don't give me that look. I bet you didn't think about it, right ?"
He sighed.
" I thought we were further than that, Buffy. I have feelings too. Why do I have to remind you that ?"
She looked embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, it's just…the whole thing really freaked me out and…"
" Don't, Buffy. Please…Don't take this as an excuse to push me away…again."
" I don't ! She lied. But it's getting too fast…too much. I need some time to sort things out."
She was acting like a total coward and wasn't very proud about it. But she couldn't help herself. When he was around, she could not think properly.
" What do you want me to do ?"he asked in a miserable tone." Stay away ? Is that what you want?"
He came closer, putting his hands on her cheeks.
" Are you ready to give up on this…"
He kissed her sweetly in the neck.
"And this…"
Put a caressing hand on her breasts.
"And this…"
He finally took her lips in a deep kiss.
" I love you. But I can't stand your constant changes of mind anymore. This time, if you ask me to stay away, I will. For good. It'll hurt like hell, but I'll do it."
Buffy acquiesced, tears in her eyes. His kiss had left her speechless. She was so confused…she opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
" It's up to you, now, love."
And he left.
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.1 Hyperion Hotel, L.A
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.2
" Vision ! "
Angel got up just in time to catch Cordelia before she felt. He helped her sitting.
" Painkillers…please," she moaned as a worried Angel gave them to her. Those visions were becoming more and more unbearable.
" Are you ok ? " he asked
Cordelia slowly massaged her forehead.
" I guess…but that was strange…"
" What ? What did you see ? "
" Spike…I saw Spike"
Angel frowned.
" Was he attacking someone ? Buffy ? "
" No…that's the weird thing. He seemed to be the one in danger.
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.2.1 Sunnydale
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.2.2
1.1.1.1.1.1.2.2.3 Buffy had started the evening with slaying intentions, but when she had realized that her paths led her always to Spike's crypt, she had given up. I'd better get home and go to bed, she thought.
She took a coffee at the Espresso Pump, headed towards home…and bumped into Spike.
" Sorry, Slayer. I hadn't see you "
Somehow she doubted that, but didn't say anything.
" How are you doing ? "
" Good", she said in a very firm voice." Very good. You ? "
" Yeah, yeah. "
He showed the paper bag he was carrying.
" Got some blood at Willy's before going home."
" Oh…Ok. "
He looked at her. She was pale with blue circles under her beautiful eyes. She looked everything but good. Not my problem anymore, he thought. Then why are you still here ? He couldn't help himself.
" Are you ok ? For once you look paler than me."
" No, I'm fine. Just a little tired."
His gaze met hers. Neither of them seemed eager to leave. It was like they wanted to tell a million things but couldn't form a single word.
Buffy was struggling inside, fighting the urge to give in and lean into his arms. Especially when he was staring at her like this, with genuine worry in his blue eyes.
I broke up with him two days ago, not really nicely, and still he's here, all concerned…
She suddenly realized that the still hot coffee she was holding was burning the palm of her hand.
" I…I'd better go, now. "
" Ok. Well…Bye."
" Bye," she said in a soft voice.
It took her every effort to put one step in front of the other and go away.
" Buffy…"
She turned around.
"Yes ?"
"I miss you."
That almost got the best of her. But he didn't let her the time to react and moved away quickly. Buffy felt tears threatening to overflow and took a deep breath.
" I miss you too, Spike."
God how she hated to see him leave.
She was about to insert the key in the lock when Willow opened the door.
" Buffy…We've got visitors."
" Now ? Who…"
She came in the living room. The first thing she noticed was the tall figure with a black coat she remembered so well.
"Hey Buffy."
"Angel ?"
TBC…
