Molly's Lament

Every once in a while, maybe only three to four times a year, she would lock herself in her bedroom and cry. It got easier to hide when Ginny left for Hogwarts, and harder during the summers.

Everyone always assumed she was simply being overbearing when she came down hard on Ginny about being in a relationship. Her sons would mock her gently when she chastised Ginny, and embarrassed her about waiting to have sex until she was much older.

She did love her children. All of them.

William, who was going to be married, to the beautiful French woman. He had a solid career, a good witch, and would lead a wonderful life. Bill wouldn't struggle like she and his father had.

Charlie was living the life of a bachelor. Carefree and independent, spending his days with the dragons he adored. His work with the Order had only made him the most eligible bachelor in the family.

Percy, she loved Percy, even if he had turned his back on the family. He would go far in the Ministry, perhaps farther than even her husband. And he would come home, eventually.

Fred and George, of which George was the quieter of the two. She was furious they hadn't finished school, but she knew better than anyone just how much they stood to make in the coming years. Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes was already a household name. No, they would lack for nothing.

Ronald, her sweetest, clueless youngest son. A chance meeting on the train had given him the life he had dreamed of. Best friend to the Boy-who-lived, and engaged to the smartest witch to come out of Hogwarts in years. The marble statue of the trio was set to be dedicated next year, on the first anniversary of the defeat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Ron was playing professional Quidditch, Hermione was going into research, yes, his future was secure.

And her baby, Ginerva. She had waited so long for a girl. Brown eyes, long red hair, and a button nose. It was hard to believe the baby she held in her arms was the beautiful, brilliant woman who would graduate this year, already engaged to their Savior, Mr. Harry Potter.

Harry and Ginny hated her "talks" about waiting to get married. Even Arthur had come to her, and told her she was pushing them to elope because of her insistence that they slow down.

Why couldn't they understand? Why couldn't anyone understand?

She could have been a curse-breaker, or a Ministry official! She received 7 Os on her NEWTS, and was a Prefect! SHE could have done all the things her children had done, and would do. But she didn't. One night, one evening of thinking she was an adult and could handle adult emotions and adult actions, one single moment that changed her life.

Bill was born eight months after the wedding, and was a little on the scrawny side. It was easy for everyone to believe he was an early baby.

"Molly and Arthur were so in love, how romantic that they eloped and had the Headmaster marry them."

"Molly Weasley, always there to cook for the Order members, and take care of the sick."

"What a wonderful mother, so many children, so much love."

Five Prefects, two Head Boys, and one Head Girl. She had poured herself into them. She did love them.

But was it really so wrong to wish she had been able to live her own life first? Before she lived for them? Was it so wrong to want to tell Ginny the truth about why she wanted her baby to wait? To tell her to grasp her dreams, and give herself time to enjoy marriage and her career?

Was it wrong to be disappointed, to weep for the life she didn't get? She didn't dwell on it. She didn't hate her children for her situation. She tried not to resent their freedom.

She wasn't jealous of her daughter. She just wanted so much more for her. More than she ever had.

Three to four times a year she locked her bedroom door. And she cried.