Espionage Gone Wrong
A/N: This story is the result of a request by Sprxandnova4ever. When I saw this idea, all sorts of ideas poured in. Yay for ideas!
Ivy: Your ideas?
Nova: NO! Your ideas scare me, Beastfire! They usually involve tormenting me!
Ivy: No way! She torments me even more!
Nova: Does n- Well, okay, I'll give ya that one.
Ivy: Thought so. Pay up, Otto!
Otto: (takes out an IOU) That's all I have. Beastfire doesn't own any of us monkeys, or Chiro, but she does own Ivy and Lorena.
Ivy: Did you just say "Lorena"? As in Lorena Spellieron? That mutant hunter with a vendetta against me?
Beastfire: You'll just have to find out, now won't you. ON WITH THE STORY!
"Ha! I knew it!"
"What'd you know?" Nova asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide the truth.
"I knew you and Sprx were hot for each other," Ivy gloated.
"What makes you say that?"
"Maybe the fact that you're getting ready for a date."
Nova looked at herself and realized that Ivy was actually right. There she was, actually applying makeup. Why? Well, she was trying something different. There was only a little bit, barely even noticible. She turned to show Ivy.
"Whaddya think?"
"AAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKK! CLOWN!"
"Oh, haha, Ivy. Very funny."
"I'm kiddin', awright?"
"So you think Sprx'll like it?"
"Yeah. Where you guys goin', anyway?"
"Movie."
"Which one?"
"There's this really cool action movie playing, so we're goin' to that."
There was silence.
"Ivy? You there?"
Nova turned to see Ivy reading a small yellow book. Her expression became angry.
"HEY! THAT'S MY DIARY!"
"Aw, crap, I was hoping you were too lovesick to notice," Ivy said, disappointed.
So, half an hour later, Nova and Sprx left for the movie. The team watched as they left the Super Robot.
"I'm not sure if Sprx can be trusted alone in a dark room with Nova," said Antauri.
"Yes, that is questionable," Gibson agreed. "His hormones are overly active…moreso than Chiro's should be, when he reaches puberty, that is."
"Can we please not talk about that?" Chiro asked nervously.
A sharp "Ow!" was heard in the back, followed by a loud SLAP. Otto had just goosed Ivy, and she slapped him in the face, then called him a pervert.
"It takes one to know one," Otto said, rubbing the side of his face in pain.
Ivy, of course, didn't argue with this, remembering the time that she was drunk and she decided to telekinetically goose a whole group of Chippendales dancers. She laughed at the memory.
"Maybe we should spy on them," Chiro decided.
"That's not a bad idea," Antauri agreed.
The others all looked at him, surprised. Ivy came up to him and tapped into his mind.
"Hmm," she said. "He looks like Antauri, smells like Antauri, thinks like Antauri, but he just thought of a very un-Antauri-ish idea. ARE YOU A POD PERSON, BUDDY?"
"Calm down, Ivy. I assure you, I am not a 'pod person'. I just simply think that we should monitor their date."
Their plan was for Chiro, Gibson, and Otto to pose as a couple. Chiro was the female of the relationship, wearing a pink dress and a glare that could peel paint. Gibson stood on Otto's shoulders, and they had a trenchcoat on, covering the fact that there were two of them. Ivy and Antauri were Mission Control.
"Dude, Chiro, you make one ugly woman," Ivy told him.
"Shut up."
The "couple" left, as Ivy and Antauri each took a seat at the main computer. (A/N: The italics show what's happening on the date, where as the regular type is for what's happening at Mission Control. Thank you. Carry on.) They looked at the screen, and Ivy took out her cell phone, putting it on speakerphone.
"Hey, this is-"
"Insane Chatterbox," finished Antauri, cutting Ivy off.
"Who you callin' 'insane chatterbox'? Anyway, this is…oh, all right, Insane Chatterbox to Double Pain and Freak Accident Woman. Come in Double Pain and Freak Accident Woman. Ya there?"
"We read you loud and clear, Insane Chatterbox."
"How's it goin?"
Chiro looked at the movie theater, and the half mile line protruding from it.
"Uh…not exactly according to plan."
"Long line, huh?"
"Yeah. I thought you could see that through the camera!"
"Well, if ya didn't cover the camera, we'd be able to see through it, genius."
"I'll call you back if anything comes up."
"Okay, this is Insane Chatterbox, over and out, dude."
Chiro and "Ottson", as they've dubbed the combo of Otto and Gibson, finally arrived inside and were getting popcorn. They spotted Nova and Sprx getting drinks and went over to talk to them.
"C'mon, Chiro," Otto whispered.
"I hate you," Chiro replied.
Otto cleared his throat, expecting Chiro to rephrase.
"I mean…I hate you," Chiro repeated, only in a high pitched feminine voice imitation.
"Okay, that's better."
"Hello, Spr- er…strangers!"
"Uh, hi," Sprx said, confused. "Do we know you?"
"No, no you don't," said Ottson. "My name is erm…Otto Gibson, and this is my wife, Cher. What about you two?"
"I'm Nova, and that's Sprx. Are you two from around here?"
"No. We're from Seefra 1 (A/N: I don't own Seefra 1, it belongs to Gene Roddenberry, creator of the show Andromeda)."
"So, what are you here to see?"
"Uh…you know…that one with the guy that does the thing in the place…thing…with, uh, that other person?"
"You mean, 'The Guy Who Does the Thing in the Place With That Other Person'? Us too!"
"Really? Well, let's go in!"
They all left to go sit down.
"Dude, I'm so BORED!" complained Ivy, sitting in one of the chairs and banging her head against the back. "Ow." She rubbed her head in pain. "Why is it I'm part of Mission Control, anyway? I mean, really, it's not like I've caused an interplanetary incident or anything."
"Actually, you did last week when we were on Ranger 7 and you hit a lost visiting dignitary with an empty beer can."
"Oh, yeah. It was really kinda funny how his whole face became beet red, and I think my vocabulary increased."
Antauri sighed in annoyance. Though he wasn't easily annoyed, Ivy was a special case, with the ability to drive therapists to see therapists. He held it in fairly well, though.
"It looks as though they've made contact with Nova and Sprx. I see nothing perverted on Sprx's part as of yet. However, Nova appears to be making suggestive glances in his direction."
"Really? Go Nova!"
"Ivy, there are times I believe you need help."
"Really? I've always been told I'm beyond help."
"Please be quiet."
"Whatever, dude, I need a beer. Be right back!"
"Can you get me some tea?"
"But I'm allergic!"
"The only way to conquer this, is to face it," Antauri said rather inattentively.
"You don't conquer allergies, genius," Ivy muttered on the way to the kitchen.
The movie was in full blast, already through a half hour. Chiro was watching it intently, Ottson fell asleep, and Nova and Sprx were…uh…preoccupied. So much for Chiro, Otto, and Gibson being spies. Luckily, Otto woke up and saw what was going on. He quietly called the Super Robot.
Antauri was meditating by the computer, when the call came in.
"Antauri? Ivy? You there?"
"Yes, Otto. Has anything come up?"
"Yeah. Sprx and Nova are, I'm not sure how to describe what the heck they're doing! They're rolling around on the floor, and I'm thinking they're not wrestling."
"I had a feeling this would happen."
"Where's Ivy, anyway?"
"Getting some drinks. She's been in there a long time, probably drinking all of the beer."
"Oh. So…whadda we do?"
"Call their attention to part of the movie."
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Ivy was forging through the fridge.
"Geez, ya look for one beer, and ya can't find it! Hey, I think someone stole my stash!" she griped.
"Looking for this?" came a familiar voice.
'That doesn't sound good,' thought Ivy as she slowly turned and looked behind her, a bad feeling of foreboding overtaking her. For there, holding an empty case of beer, was none other than Lorena Spellieron, that mutant hunter she'd met once before.
"Heheh…hi," she laughed nervously. "How're the teeth?"
"Oh, you mean my new solid steel fangs?" Lorena grinned. "With the anti-mutant weaponry?"
"It may be anti-mutant, but is it anti-me?"
Ivy threw everything she had at Lorena, to no avail. Her attacks just bounced back at her.
"Like it? I took a sample of your DNA from that torture collar. I had no idea you were such a genetic mutt. DNA from two different families? And I thought you were a freak before."
"Get. Out. Now," Ivy growled.
"What'll you do if I don't?"
The mutant flew at the hunter and bit her. This didn't really work, as she was thrown to the wall. She came back at her opponent, scratching her in the face. This time, she was thrown to the floor. As she tried to recover and attack, Lorena cornered her. Faced with no better option, Ivy screamed for help.
"ANTAURI!"
In the main room, Antauri was still talking to Otto. They both heard the yell.
"That doesn't sound good."
"I know, Otto. Something's amiss. I will return as soon as I possibly can."
Antauri walked into the kitchen and saw the chaos unfolding before him. Lorena had a pair of supremely high-tech handcuffs and was trying to put them on Ivy, who was struggling to escape with much futility. The hunter'd just succeeded in restraining her prey, when Antauri cleared his throat and asked why she was there, then told her to leave. Of course, she wouldn't leave…not without a fight.
"Antauri? You still there?" Otto asked, a bit too loudly.
Everyone stared, including Nova and Sprx…especially Nova and Sprx. They walked up to their "new friends" and discovered…
"Otto? Gibson?" Nova shrieked angrily. "What are you two doing here?"
The monkeys were at a loss for words, unable to formulate an excuse. Sprx stared at Chiro in shock.
"Kid, why are you in a dress?"
"Don't ask."
"You were spying on us, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU?"
"Sorry, Nova. Sprx. I'll call Antauri, and-"
"He's in on this too?"
"HEY, SHUT UP! WE'RE TRYIN' TO WATCH THE MOVIE!" a random viewer yelled.
Antauri was still waiting for Lorena to accept his unspoken challenge. Finally, she advanced on him, throwing Ivy to the floor, harder than ever. Ivy had a major pressure headache, and the rest of her wasn't in the best shape, either. Semi-conscious, she watched the fight. Lorena and Antauri were pretty evenly matched. She used her weapons against him, while he used his ghost claws in defense, and offense. They fought until they reached a stalemate. This lasted for a short while, then Antauri shot at her with a bottle of vinegar, hitting her in the eye. Lorena clutched her face, howling in pain. This would ruin her eye. For now, she decided to leave and see if she could save it. When she was gone, Antauri went over to Ivy, to help her get free of the cuffs. He was able to get them off, but there were a couple of side effects…Ivy's powers would be out of commission for a few days, and Antauri developed a temporary split personality, as the cuffs had negative side effects for everyone who touched them, except for Lorena.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"No. Not really."
"I will…EAT COFFEE FLAVORED SPAGHETTI WITH A FIRE HOSE!…I'm sorry. I have no idea what caused this."
Ivy didn't think he really said anything, so ignored this. Soon, the others came home. Sprx and Nova were pretty mad, to say the least. As punishment, they made their teammates, and a certain mutant, reveal their most embarassing secrets. What are these secrets, you may ask? Heehee…that, is better left to the imagination.
Hope you enjoyed this story! It took a while to write, but here it is! And…HAPPY EASTER, EVERYBODY! HOPE YOU ALL GOT LOTS OF CHOCOLATE, AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE, SEND IT TO ME! BYE!
