A/N- I'm on a roll today...
Okay, this is my first try at true angst. Hindsight is always Twenty Twenty (I know, I know, shameless plug.) was Danny and completely non-family related.
I am completely open to all critique with this. If something is wrong, please tell me.
This is dedicated to all those out there that have lost someone close to you.
Inspiration- The song Over You by Miranda Lambert. Beautiful song guys, go check it out.
Disclaimer- I don't own Danny Phantom, or Over You.
Edited- November 8, 2012
The T.V. was on in the living room, Amity Park Weather Station was blaring, but I wasn't really listening. The deep voice of the reporter said it was going to snow, and I shivered involuntarily.
My body might be used to the cold, but my heart wasn't. The weather just reminded me of her, and it sent icy sharp pains through my heart. It still made me curl up, still made the tears come and drop from my eyes. I didn't think a month could be scary, not when I'm friends with a hero, but there are things that not even heroes can fix, and mid-February hadn't ever been more frightening. The cold was coming, school would come back right after the snow melted, and you are gone. I never thought it'd hit me like this.
My mind flashed back to December, to happier times, warmth that I wanted to remember. I thought of the trees we put up, the ornaments flashing and glittering in the Christmas lights even though we didn't celebrate Christmas, and the presents wrapped in silver and gold paper with flashy onyx bows on top. To laughing with you like it would go on forever, like that night would never end and I'd never have to say good-bye. Like I'd get the chance to say good-bye. Like I'd never ever feel this cold.
But, you went away, didn't you. You left without even giving me the chance to say good-bye. Why? Why didn't you wait on me? Didn't you know how much I'd miss you?
Mom and Dad, they say I'll be okay, but I'm not going to. I don't see how they're going to. I don't know how they're coping, and I'm not. I'm not going to get over it, the cold's going to keep me remembering and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I don't think I'll ever get over you.
I miss you too much for that.
The cold feels like a presence, like a place I'm expecting you to be. It's like a place in your heart only one person's ever going to fill.
But, you went away, and now I'm alone. I'm living alone; Mom and Dad can barely be counted as company. They look at me with that glare that tells me to smile, to get up and move on. They scare me. I don't understand how they can move on, and I just can't.
But, I think of you and they don't quite scare me like they used to. They've stopped trying to change me, they stopped trying to get me to be different, or normal in their opinion, they just try to make me move on. I think they think of you too, or at least Dad does, but they don't feel it like I do.
It makes me miss you that much more, because no one else understands it like you would.
Your old record box is in my room now, and that's where I go when I'm sad and not even Danny can cheer me up. I play them, your records, and you'd never believe how much better it makes me feel, they bring back that warmth. I can almost hear you singing with me. It's like it was all those years ago, when I didn't know about sadness and the only thing I wanted to do was sing with you. It's almost like your voice is with me, singing with me in every song. I know you never meant for them to go to me; they were supposed to be Dad's. I know, but they take away the cold, and Dad won't play them anyway.
It's the only way to find warmth when I really start missing you, and that's not something I'm giving up to Dad.
And, you never made sure they went to Dad. You went away, left me here in this place with the cold and Mom and Dad. Why? Why couldn't I have said good-bye? Maybe, maybe, maybe it wouldn't be this bad if I could have said that one last good bye.
Dad's okay, or he pretends he's okay. Mom's completely insensitive, she tells me to move on, get over it.
They both say I'll be okay, but I'm not going to. Mom glares and tells me to quit wallowing in self-pity, and not even your records can help when she says it like that. She makes it sound like she doesn't even care, about you or me. That's when I shut the front door behind me and run. That's when the snow and the cold get to me, that's when mid-February gets scary and I don't know how I'm going to face the world without you. Because you'd always butt in before Mom would get like this and I've never had that much aggravation directed at me.
That's when I just run to find you, even when I end up on that big hill and I know I won't find anything else but a headstone.
The cold, it makes me think you're watching, and every time I run I end up in the same spot. I'll end up sitting on the cold ground and looking at your and Grandpa's name.
It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone.
Sometimes I think I can feel you, sitting with me, watching me, even though I know you're not. And, every time I look at that stone, the warmth comes back, even if it is a grim reminder that you left. The tears come then, and I don't know how to stop them.
You went away. Why? Why'd you have to leave? I miss you.
They say I'll be okay, but I'm not going to ever get over you. No, I won't ever get over you.
I'm never going to forget you, no matter how much time goes by or how well I learn to smile.
No, I don't know if I'll ever get over you.
This is my first try at Sam and Angst. Tell me how I did? Maybe in a review?
