Well, band camp started three days ago. Today is Wednesday, which thankfully meant that we had a half day. Just have to get through two more days and it'll be the weekend. I'm glad to be seeing all of my friends... But I'm really not glad to see the guy I'm in love with.. I know that sounds really weird, but with absence, I was kind of able to set aside my feelings and ignore them, but now they're all rushing back to me, stronger than before. What makes it even worse is that we're both in drumline, so, for basically the entirety of band camp, he's right there and I know that I can only ever have him as a friend and that is not a good feeling whatsoever.. That's what really inspired this little oneshot. If you want a happy ending, go elsewhere- Like the story that directly follows this one.
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Pairing: One sided Marzia/Dragon (My constant OFC), PewDiePie/CutiePie
Universe: No clue bro.
Rating: T
Warnings: Angst, one sided femslash
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Just Be Friends
You know, the funny thing about this is that the only reason I even know her is because I was a fan of her boyfriend first. I suppose you could call me one of the "Original bros" but that sounds a little pompous and I have a hard time calling myself a bro nowadays anyway, so I suppose it doesn't matter.
I'm a female Let's player on youtube. Last I checked, I have almost 500,000 subscribers. Not nearly as many as the world renowned Pewdiepie, but I couldn't really care less. It's not about the number of subs for me, and besides, 500k is a fair number when you don't compare. I started Let's Playing a couple of months after I first started watching Pewds, he was actually the one who inspired me to start doing it, and that is one decision that I've never regretted. I may not have a huge amount of fans comparitively, but I definitely have the best fans in the entire freaking world.
Since I was, at the time, a major follower of Pewds, whenever his girlfriend made her own channel, I immediately went and watched her first video and subscribed immediately after. I posted a comment to it, and she read it. She messaged me personally, thanking me for subscribing and for the comment and all that jazz, and that turned into a real conversation, which led to many different conversations down the road. That led to Skyping, texting, chatting and a real friendship.
Everything was going perfectly awesomely for me at that point. I had awesome subscribers, a wonderful friend and everything was going perfectly, until I suddenly found myself unable to watch Pewdiepie anymore. Every time I would try, this unexpected jealousy would take over and I would find myself doing all I could to just click out of the video like the adult that I was supposed to be and not scroll down and write some hateful comment about how the guy was an asshole and his reactions were clearly faked. Not because I ever, for even a second, believed that the guy really was like that, but just because I was so pissed off. And since I'm not completely oblivious, I figured out pretty quickly why I felt that way. After all, it's hard to like a guy when all you can think about now is how you would do absolutely anything to steal his girlfriend. Eventually I just unsubscribed from his channel so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.
When I'm talking to Marzia, whether we're skyping or texting or even playing a game, I'm almost never jealous. It's just really hard to be whenever I'm talking to her, I just kind of forget that this is basically all that we'll ever have. Lately, I've been avoiding her, just a little. Not directly, I don't know if I could ever bring myself to ignore a text from her, but I have been purposely making myself busier than I normally would be. I make two or three videos a day now, instead of one or maybe two, which has pleased my fans immensely. At least someone is benefiting from this stupid situation. I try to hang out with my friends a little bit more, but that can be kind of hard considering most of them are college student and most of them work to pay for it, and I live like half an hour away from campus, which adds up after a while if I try to make the drive every day.
I know there's really nothing that I can do. She's clearly happy with Felix. As much as I want her to be mine, I want her to be happy more, and we're such good friends, I could never tell her. The only thing it would change is that she would be sad knowing that I'm unhappy, because that's the kind of friend that she is, and I would never do that to her if I could help it. So, for now, until I finally find someone else and move on, all I can do is exactly what I am doing. I'll just keep throwing myself into my gaming and whenever I talk to her, I'll just keep reminding myself that all I can do is just be friends. Nothing more.
Hang on a second, I just got a text...
... Well isn't that funny, she wants to set me up with someone.
Meh,CouldHaveBeenWorse
Wasn't nearly as bad as Teardrops on My Guitar. At the last second, I decided to make this the prologue of another one shot/series of random one shots. Either can stand alone, but please, at least check that one out and see if it might be your cup of tea- Trust me, it may very well not be, and that's fine too. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, my lovelies, and I'll hopefully see you in another story!
