he's laying in bed
just staring at the ceiling
not even crying (anymore)
and just counting his breaths
and rachel comes in

'kurt? do you want dinner…?'
'no.
i'm not hungry.'
'kurt, please…'
'no, rachel.'
'ok…it's in the fridge for you…'

and he just lays there
and eventually kinda falls asleep
and eventually wakes up
because his alarm doesn't stop until he gets up
and he sits up
still in his sweatpants and longsleeved shirt
and rubs his eyes
can't even care he forgot to moisturize
again
and goes into the kitchen
stares at the fridge
walks back to his room
gets in the shower
strongly considers calling in sick
puts his clothes on
washes his face
and takes a breath
and says

'i'll be okay'