He isn't sure why he's here, or well, he is but it's still strange. But Ryan doesn't seem to care and Summer's too hurt to do anything and he feels too weird about it to do nothing. Maybe he can be the one to save Marissa Cooper. Maybe, he has it in him. He laughs wryly at the thought.
/
The trailer is a mess. It reminds him of her room when she was staying with Jimmy. He always imagined Marissa would be a tidy person, her room immaculately presented just like she always was. He thinks he shouldn't really be surprised. If there is one thing he has learned, it is that Marissa goes far beyond the surface.
He takes her in right now. Hair dishevelled, little make-up, wearing a faded Rolling Stones t-shirt and ripped jeans. She has that punk-rock look and if he's honest, he finds it cool. But he also notices her tired face, the circles around her eyes and the lingering malaise. He wonders how he has never seen her wear her discontent so openly.
"Seth," she acknowledges merely, tense and wary.
"Hi, I was in the neighbourhood," he jokes.
"What are you doing here?" she asks bluntly. It's not mean exactly, but he's starting to feel a little intimidated. It's like going back 3 years ago when Marissa belonged to a different world, one where he was not allowed to intrude.
"I just wanted to see how you were," he tells her honestly.
"If Summer sent you," Marissa begins.
"No, she doesn't know I'm here," he clarifies. "Neither does Ryan for that matter."
Marissa nods and tells him unconvincingly, "I'm fine." He has to fight back a snort.
"I heard you called me an emo," he says because a silence was looming and he was compelled to fill it. He watches embarrassment creep up on Marissa's face.
"I'm sorry about that," she mumbles.
"Actually," he offers her a crooked smile, "I'm kind of flattered. After being called a nerd, geek, queer and freak amongst other insults all my life, emo's an almost compliment."
Marissa quirks an eyebrow. "Well, I didn't, I don't mean it."
"I know," Seth says. Marissa sighs, sitting down on the sofa wondering for the upteenth time what Seth is doing here.
He considers if he should leave but he's still fighting to get a smile out of her. On the coffee table, he spies a spliff and a small packet of weed. He wonders if it belongs to Volchok or Marissa, whether that even makes a difference.
"Want to smoke?" he asks on an impulse. She gives him a surprised look, then turns hesitant.
"I don't want to drag you into my mess," she mutters back.
"You wouldn't be."
"I'm not sure that it's a good idea, Seth,"
"I didn't realise you were so keen on good ideas," he retorts sarcastically. When she is reticent, he adds, "I promise not to tell Summer or Ryan."
A laugh escapes.
/
"So, is this like an existential crisis?" he asks, as they sit on the tiny sofa and get high.
"I guess," Marissa ponders. She thinks it over and confirms, "You could call it that."
"When I have a crisis, any crisis, I like to talk to people about it. It helps," he tells her.
"Like you talked to Ryan and Summer about your Brown fiasco instead of smoking pot," Marissa sarcastically points out.
"Technically, I did talk to Ryan," Seth insists. After a while he confides, "I'm scared I won't get in."
"You will, Seth. I've read your English essays, it's the most intellectual bullshit I've ever read."
Seth laughs.
"I think I really fucked it up with that interview."
"You'll get in. And even if you don't, it's not the end of the world. You and Sum will be fine."
"Speaking of Summer," Seth changes the topic and hear's Marissa groan. "What the hell is going on?"
"It's complicated," Marissa says.
"Isn't everything?"
"I just, I can't deal with her concern right now," Marissa attempts to explain. Seth gives her an incredulous look. She becomes wistful. "Not everything is so simple. Sometimes you just need to let everything fall apart, or else you go crazy trying to keep it all together."
"You certainly are letting things fall apart," Seth mutters back. He catches her glare and adds, "No offence."
"I'm not hurting anyone," Marissa claims.
"What about the people who care about you?" She stays quiet. "Ryan cares," Seth states suddenly.
"This is not about him."
"That's why you are sleeping with the one guy who is guaranteed to piss him off?"
"No," Marissa insists.
"I really don't fucking get you sometimes," Seth complains.
/
"Do you ever miss the past, like before Ryan came to Newport?" Seth asks.
"Sometimes," Marissa answers. "I miss normal." She laughs cynically.
"You remember those family barbecues when we were kids?" Seth muses affectionately.
"Here I thought you hated the first sixteen years of your life," Marissa said with a smile.
"Not all parts were bad."
He looks at her and they think of a past that Ryan and Summer have never known they shared.
"And you said we were never friends," she remarks.
"Are we friends? Like actual friends," he asks because if you take Ryan and Summer out of the equation, how often do they hang out?
"Of course," she replies easily. He fails to hide his grin.
They are silent for a while. Seth checks his watch. It's 7pm. He's meant to be meeting Summer for dinner at 8. He gets ready to leave.
"Harbour's doing a production of No Exit next Tuesday," he mentions. "It could be fun watching them murder Sartre. You want to go?"
Marissa's gaze slips away. "I'm not sure," she mutters.
Seth fights to hide his disappointment.
"Well, if you decide you want to, or if you just want to talk, or get high," he pauses, "I'm here."
"Thanks, Seth," Marissa replies seriously.
He wonders if she will take up his offer. He hopes she does.
/
fin.
