Disclaimer:

Consider this and any other work of fan fiction an advertisement for the original. Most of the original show can be watched at Youtube and Itunes sells the more lighthearted remake. There are also other places to find it around the net. Write me. They are both good each in their own way.

This is written so it could be either Cupid and either Claire Bear if you fantasize the new show lasted longer and used many of the same plot ideas and characters as the old show (which it was starting to do). For an explanation for how Cupid switched hosts see, "Cupid 1.0 to 2.0 The Transfer." Write me if you want to know where two unaired scripts of the original series are at on the net plus other fan fiction that is not here.

Only 4-6 degrees of separation! If any one can, please contact Rob Thomas and tell him Cupid keeps failing because he is writing it in the wrong genre! Cupid is for Thinkers and Readers not merely for recreational Watchers! He needs to write Claire's book inter-spaced with protest comments by Cupid himself plus first person point of view descriptions of their interactions with Cupid from the other characters. If he would do that he would have a best seller on his hands as K-PAX was. This always should have been a book as the original Cupid and Psyche was story by Lucian of Apuleius, "The Golden Ass." This was written in the second century of Christianity! Cupid and Psyche started off as a book. They need to become a book again! Almost two thousand years later and we are still writing about this "colorful not crazy" character and his beloved Psyche!

What will we be doing with Cupid/Trevor and Psyche/Claire Bear And Cupid's extended family of ditsy deities and Sam and Al and Doctor Who, and the Beings of Star Trek two thousand years from now?

Ten thousand?

A billion?

I bet, something! I suspect we bring them and many others to life and because of curved space/time this has already happened! (Maybe they are watching you as you read this! ;-)

Cupid: Trevor and the Trekkers

By

8-) Elizabeth Hensley

I am Dr Benjamin Leo, the Psychiatrist at St Anthony's hospital in the orthopaedic section. Most of the time I supervise the continuation of medication for Patients on psyche meds who are brought into our facility for physical back problems and accidents that require back surgery or treatment. It's pretty boring work. I seldom even get to meet a Patient. I go by what's in their medical files or what their Doctors tell me about their Patients during phone consultations.

So it was with some professional satisfaction when our Neurologist came to me and said, "I have one here you ought to evaluate."

I asked, "Why?" of course.

The Neurologist said, "The Nurse said when she told him it was highly unlikely he would walk again, he said 'Listen Mortal my family took away my powers and my omnipresence. The passage of time is taking away even Human abilities. There ain't no way The Fates are taking away my ability to walk! I'll find a way! I know those gals. They are our next door neighbors!"

"She asked him who he was. He said, 'I'm Cupid, god of love.'"

Wow! Finally something other than a desk job!

I entered the Patient's room cautiously. He was watching television, a happy look on his face. He was on pain killers but the happiness seemed to be stemming from the Patient's choice of shows.

I turned to check out what he was watching; "Star Trek. The Voyage Home." Interesting! With the delusion the Nurse had reported I would have thought the poor Guy would have been watching a romantic comedy or some saga about ancient Greece, or Xena!

I asked, "May I speak to you a moment?"

He said, "If you wait for a commercial!"

I laughed, "It's a good thing I like Star Trek too!"

The Patient said, "Hey a Shrink who likes Star Trek! Great! Claire thinks I am as nuts about that as much as anything."

I showed my surprise, "How can you tell I'm a Psychiatrist?"

Without taking his eyes from the screen he said, "Cause you asked, 'can I speak with you?' A Doctor interested in anything but the wild stuff that goes on in my head would have just started asking medical questions without bothering to ask me for permission to do so. Shush now. Here is where Kirk and Sarek talk about Spock. They are in Kirk's apartment in San Francisco. Listen close. You can hear the, 'ding, ding, ding' of a cable car in the background."

We both listened close.

Sure enough!

I was very surprised, "I've watched this movie five times at least and I never realized that! Wait until I tell my fellow Trekkers!"

The Patient said, "You know some fellow Trekkers? Great! I'm all alone except for this Greek chat room. I had Claire about ready to recommit me. I told her I was in touch with my own kind again. I meant Trekkers not my family but I strung her along for a while. It was fun." He grinned mischievously.

I realized I had almost forgotten why I had come to see this Patient. "Tell me about your family?" I asked. "Who are they?"

My Patient shrugged, "The Greek gods of course.'

"Sigh. That's what the Nurse said. She said you had looked at her and called her, 'Mortal.'

The Patient said kindly, "It is not an insult. Some of my best friends are Mortals."

"So how did you end up here?" I meant on Earth but he surprised me.

He said, "You could have learned that from my file. You probably did but are testing me. I was a Passenger in a genuine 1962 smiley-yellow Volkswagen beetle. Those things don't have seat belts unfortunately or maybe in this case fortunately. I maybe should've have ridden in such an unsafe vehicle but I couldn't resist a REAL Love Bug; the car that is ME! A truck tried to occupy the same point in the space/time continuum as the Bug. Due to no seat belts I was thrown from the vehicle instead of being turned into god goulash. So I didn't get smooshed but the fall twisted my spine, so now I can't walk. This was one of those rare accidents where not wearing a seat belt was an advantage because I'd rather be a paraplegic than a pile of god-goo. The driver survived with some minor cuts and bruises and some broken ribs. He's already visited me twice. He keeps thinking I am going to sue. Maybe I AM crazy not to use this to make some big bucks, but I am not. It just doesn't seem the Human thing to do."

He added, "So they brought me here. I'm in pain. The Nurse tells me I will never walk again and I look her straight in the eye and let her know, 'Mortal you can't begin to know the depths of my will! They took my powers away from me. The passage of time is gradually taking my youthful vigor away from me. There ain't no way no how The Fates are taking my ability to walk away from me!' I used to water their Roses and they would give me plates and plates full of the best ginger snap cookies in all of Greece, warm and gooey right out of their oven and milk still warm from Brownie! She was their pedigreed Nubian goat. They loved her and her milk so much they got permission to make her immortal. They used to pick me up and hug and kiss me and coo over me and call me, 'just the cutest thing!' So I know they aren't that mean!'

I swallowed. He obviously loved his "next door neighbors." I couldn't call his belief in 'The Fates' and that he had interacted with them and they controlled his life, paranoia. The fear and anxiety that always accompanies paranoia was missing. This was as much a comforting religious belief to him as a psychotic delusion. This Patient was a mixture of delusion, common sense, kindness and raw determination. Not schizophrenia obviously. But far from normal either. Ironically there was indeed a small chance he could walk again. I had to have a talk with that Nurse spreading such premature pessimism!

He continued, "I have watched this sort of thing a thousand times back when I had omnipresence. It is way too soon to be telling me I will never walk again. I have much inflammation and that could be compressing my spinal cord. Once the swelling goes down that compression will be gone and my spinal cord may start sending signals back and forth again. I may walk again, or I may at least be able to wiggle my toes and have proper bowel movements or I may not be able to do any of that, but at this point hope is still a rational thing to grasp at."

I was amazed. I had just been about to say the exact same thing. I said, ""At least you are reality oriented."

The Patient chuckled, "We are sitting here watching a movie abut a starship that goes faster than the speed of light and makes whooshing sounds as it passes through the vacuum of space and we can hear those whooshing sounds, and you say 'the Patient is reality oriented.' Ohhhh KAAAAY"

I couldn't help but laugh.

The Patient didn't mind. He laughed too.

It hadn't taken long to form a therapeutic relationship.

I asked, "So where is this Claire you mentioned? Is she your Wife, Girlfriend, what?"

The Patient shook his head, "I wish any of those! No. Therapist. Not that I mind being required to see her. She is be YOOT ifull Doctor not an ugly cuss like you! She was really worried, having to leave me alone for two weeks. 'While the Cats away the Mice will play' and all that. But I behaved myself! I doubt she could have possibly anticipated this. The fellow that gave me a ride didn't even know I quote 'think I'm Cupid' unquote because Claire ordered me to stay in my Clark Kent Mode; my Trevor mode and I did! I really did! I just came up to him said I was the Barkeep at that bar he frequented and would he give me a ride because I had never ridden in a real Bug before and I always wanted to. That was sane enough behavior I think, other than it being motivated by a Disney movie about a sentient Volkswagen. Plenty of so called normal Folks might have done the same if they were gregarious enough and let their heart not their heads rule their lives as I do.

"So she was worried about me. I was at the bar where I work at the time. It's across from the mental hospital where we first met and where she still works. She was made legally responsible for me at my competency hearing so she comes across the street every chance she gets to keep an eye on me. I get more professional attention as an Outpatient than I ever did inside. I took a break, went over to the karaoke mike and announced to the room, "Hey everybody my Therapist has to go out of town and she's worried about leaving me unsupervised all that time. So I'm deputizing all of you as my Keepers, I gave them Claire's cell phone number, and told them, 'If you see me doing anything dangerous or really, really weird beyond my usual level, call her.'"

I was amused at my Patient's refreshingly wise lack of shame concerning his condition, "How did she react about you giving out her cell phone number to a whole room full of Strangers?"

There was a twinkle in my new Patient's eyes, "Oh she reacted in a very professional manner; she did. She bopped me over the head with a rolled up place mat!" He cocked his head and looked at me, "Should the Doctor be allowed to hit the Patient?"

I growled at him playfully, "Under that circumstance the Doctor is allowed to commit justifiable homicide against the Patient!"

Then 'the Patient' wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. He sighed and looked at me pleadingly, "Here I go again, giving out her phone number. Now you can call her and discuss 'crazy Trevor' behind my back because I suppose you feel it is your professional duty to do so to help me. But if only you could manage not to! She did so look forward to this vacation! She really, really needed a break from me and other things for her own mental health's sake. There isn't anything she can do for me right now. Physical injuries are not her forte. The injury if nothing else will keep me out of trouble because I'm pretty much stuck here. I will walk again but not for a while and we both know it. She'll be back first. My druthers would be she not find out her problem Patient is again in the hospital except this time a regular one until she gets back. I'll behave I promise! Let her enjoy her vacation, two solid weeks without having to deal with Trevor the nutcase from the gods!"

I swallowed. It was an interesting situation. The Patient obviously realized his Doctor needed a break. My professional choice certainly would have been to call her and get information that would help me help our fellow Patient. But his reason for requesting I not call her was quite rational and compassionate. I decided to honor his request. Trevor alias Cupid was not going anywhere anytime soon. I also decided not to transfer him to the psyche ward because it was obvious he was stable even if he was delusional. He would do just fine in the regular hospital and it was his injuries that were first priority. There was an economic factor too. The psyche ward was even more expensive than the regular part of the hospital and I doubted my Patient had adequate insurance on a Barkeep's salary. Few do.

He continued, "I almost wish I hadn't given out her phone number to all those People now. It was a cute practical joke at the time. I've a rep for making cute practical jokes, that's how I ended up stuck in the Mortal realm. I took them too far and my family decided it would be therapeutic for me to be cast out for a time. But now that half my Clientele at the bar has Claire's phone number it's only a matter of time before someone with that phone number figures out where I am and does call her. Sigh. I can convince my Boss not to call but not the rest of them. I've just wrecked my best Friend's vacation!"

I figured if he could tell me his medication and dose at least I could dispense with wrecking her vacation. So I asked him, "What meds does she have you on?"

The Patient said, "Love, baby. Yeah! She pays attention to me! She listens to everything I say even though she doesn't believe me about most stuff. She gives me emotional support. The results are my oxytocin levels go up all on their on. I feel more connected, less alienated from this realm, and more motivated to try and fit in it. Her hope is someday I will decide I really did belong here all along. Fat chance, but the oxytocin raising part really does help."

Well! This Claire was an old fashioned Girl/Shrink! Spending time with him seemed like a good idea (for the both of us). So I too, started spending lots and lots of time with Trevor. I didn't think I had some new handle into curing him. I just liked him. It was therapeutic for me too.

I got him to sign a release form so I could get a copy of his medical records from his mental hospital. The copying fee cost a bundle. It arrived by Fed Ex and it weighed over four pounds. It was over two inches thick and had to be kept closed with huge rubber bands around it! Among years of notes from psychoanalysis there were bocou comments by Claire that the Man did not need re-commitment and the reasons why this was her professional opinion and comments by her boss Dr. Greeley and another Psychiatrist named as to why they were sure it was for the safety of the general public that he be locked up securely again and kept heavily sedated! What they wrote didn't jive with the friendly but confused man in hospital room 33-A in the orthopaedic ward at St Anthony's. What Claire wrote about him was very realistic including a huge yellow sticky note labeled IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ FIRST! that stated, 'To this Patient 'the gods' are his confabulated family memories. His often colorful and loud talking to them is prayer not a response to hallucinations!' She also commented that she had done the Rorschach test with him and he was definitely not schizophrenic or violent and anyone could test that he was not schizophrenic by having him define metaphors.

I had already noticed that about him: "When the Cat's away the Mice will play." Etc. This man was not schizophrenic, just 'delusional.'

Or so that seemed! Because if he really was a Greek god with no powers how could we tell?

Many of the tests went way beyond what would usually be given to delusional Patients at a hospital. It was obvious Claire had been working very hard to try and help him live out of the hospital which was his fervent desire. I whistled when I noticed the results of his aptitude tests. Claire had added a note at the bottom that he had completely finished every single one of them long before the time limits were reached. That meant they weren't even an accurate gauge of his intelligence and abilities! And that explained a lot about how he was able to live free. He was using raw intelligence to compensate for his shaky grasp on reality. But it also explained at least one reason for his break with reality in the first place.

As he put it one day, "No one can say I'm out of touch with reality! I am aware of the current Mortal realm I live in and all its increasingly modern, confusing, ever growing complexity. I just don't like it! But I'm willing to meet here, do lunch, pal around a while. I just don't want to stay here. I have to but I don't like it! I'm not crazy but I sure am neurotic!"

Then he grinned at me. "You have this great plan to cure me. You'll have me back to normal in just a few weeks with a few wise words upon your part or the newest wonder drug. You don't realize who and what you are dealing with! I've dealt with your kind So MANY times before. So far it's been Lunatic 3, Mental Health Care Professionals 0. But hey! All Participants have enjoyed the attempts!" My new Patient grinned. "Bring on the attention! I gloat in it. I revile in it, prosper in it, shine like little miss sunshine shine in it, flower in it, roll in it like Uncle Scrooge in coins, like a Dog in dead Skunk, like a King on a crazy throne! Bring on all the pychiaATtric attention you can fling at me because I can hit curves, spit and power balls and keep right on swinging after you are prostrate on the Pitchers mound with exhaustion and awe! I'll still be dancing on home plate begging you to throw some more over! I'm an insatiable god for all the attention your Mortals can give me and being a very minor deity in an almost dead religion I get so precious little! So bring it on!"

I commented "You don't seem to terribly upset about our attempts."

He cocked his head, "Upset wouldn't be the operative word here, don't you think considering what I just said?

I asked, (a bit amused), "You like Shrinks even though you don't think you can be cured?

He nodded, "Or want to be, but I do so know you want to help me. The attention you pay me DOES help me, just not the way you think. This god blesses all of you with an eternal blessing because I know your hearts ARE in the right place. It's just you are all so darn nuts! But it's amusing to me mostly. I KNOW what I AM."

I said gently, "you're lonely aren't you?'

That stopped the happy-raving. He got a look of surprise, swallowed, glanced at me for a split second straight in the eye and then looked downwards. A bit ashamed he nodded. "I think in my own way I just admitted to that."

I nodded and said gently,"You did. After ten years under Claire and knowing how to fake normalcy to get out of the hospital in the first place, when you called that Nurse, 'Mortal" and admitted to her you are Cupid you knew what it would lead to. You want our attention!"

I added, "I know it sounds like a Psychiatric cliche, but I'll be your Friend if you let me. I doubt I can cure you. I doubt you can cure me. I don't think you need curing as much as I do, but we both could use each others friendship. I read your files. Your IQ, your creativity quotient and abilities! Wow! I don't match it but in some areas I'm close. I KNOW what it is to be Tarzan of the Apes, Spock among the Humans, Cupid among the Mortals. I know why you have to be, what you've made yourself to handle it. If Olympus isn't out there SOMEWHERE you are completely alone in the Universe! That would have driven you mad anyway. It would have driven anyone stark raving mad! But by quick and creative thinking you've preempted far worse. You picked your craziness and you made it a mighty fine one. You picked one that would allow you to still survive. You can function. You don't have to live out your life in a rubber room. Those are just Mortals you have to deal with. They can't help it they can't understand you; because you are a god. Your duty is to be kind to them and tolerant of their tremendous limitations. But there are other gods if you can just do what you have to, to reach them. You won't be lonely and miserable forever! Your family is THERE. They have to be! But of course you can't reach them NOW. But you will. Someday you WILL! And knowing that allows you to keep going. You didn't have to kill yourself from the incredible loneliness of being the only one like you. Because you aren't the only one! There are others like you, you will be with some day. But first you have a task to complete that will benefit all."

The Patient growled, frustrated by all this unwanted psychoanalysis, "I AM Cupid among the Mortals."

I sighed, "Of course. And I know better than to try and fix what's practical and creative and ain't really broke. Would you like to join my Star Trek club?"

His face lit up, "You have a Star Trek CLUB? I could be with other Trekkers? Absolutely yes! Finally a Shrink who is doing me some good!"

I was giving him the best gift in the world, a place to use his wild imagination and mighty brain that he could share with others. As Cupid he was alone in his fantasy, a beautiful and rich fantasy to be sure but one he could share with no one but a few Mental Health Professionals who could not even believe him. But as Trekker he could share. He would be with friends. I hoped in time it would diminish his Cupid delusion but personally I hoped it would never completely make it fade away. It was too perfect a construct. Cupid was a self made work of art!

Kirk killed Apollo with his words.

I didn't really want to kill Apollo's nephew with mine!

I asked my new Patient what he thought of the NEW Star Trek.

I figured it made as good a competency test as anything else I could ask him. It is amazing what can be learned from listening to someone explain a work of fiction they dearly love.

He didn't disappoint me. He grinned, "It is a modern Mortal Miracle that you could start it all over again and get it ABSOLUTELY perfect the second time around also! Sometimes you Mortals do miracles too. For instance the Pyramids: You Guys and Gals did that on your own! You did all the work one block at a time though some of it was concrete. A perfectly normal Mortal, (except he was a genius), named Imhotep designed them. You Moderns even know what he looks like. There is a perfectly realistic statue of him in existence right now! He could put a T shirt on and some levies and canvass shoes and go traipsing up any modern street. He'd pass for an American Black until he opened up his mouth and nothing but ancient Egyptian came out!

He smiled, I thank you Mortals from the bottom of my heart for successful starting Classic Trek over again! Here is what I think about it. More important here is what I FEEL about it: I absolutely adore it!

"Bones and Scotty steal the show. Chekhov and Sulu almost do. It is alternate Universe Star Trek definitely! Notice the starships do not go WHOOSH. Amazing! But the laws of physics still aren't the same as Reality-space. We still hear kabooms through the vacuum of space. James Kirk's Father is named George. Horrors! May the Mortals in power protect us from mundane monikers! But he does not last long leaving our little Kirk with no Pops to keep him out of trouble. There are no epidermals for pregnant Women and also no ultrasounds. Neither could they find a friendly, cooperative Dolphin to ping the Kid. So they don't know what gender they are getting until the little bun pops out, and discussing names ahead of time is no longer a custom. Buy stock in Nokia, but do not buy stock in asphalt. It no longer exists or never did. Roads in Iowa in the late 22nd century are not paved. There also are no safety barricades or warning signs and roads go right off cliffs for reasons that escape my ken.

"Planet "Wulcan" gets sucked into itself, so no Elchya. And it's only about five minutes there from Earth. Faith and begorra! It takes me more than three minutes to walk from my bar to Claire Bear's office to be shrunk! Even back in my glory days it took me five minutes between Olympus and Earth. We gods just gotta install warp drive!" Trevor was laughing here. I could not tell if he was serious, half-serious or not serious at all.

He continued, "Seat belts are used in shuttles on Earth 'milk runs' but not out in space while battles are going on and things are being 'all shook up.' 'Elvis isn't dead. He just went home.' Maybe he has something to do with this. Or there is some kind of treaty with the Klingons disallowing cloaking devices and seat belts. Maybe someone will explain that one to me someday!"

He grinned, "And there is NO WAY I'm allowing young Jim Kirk in my bar, though admittedly 'Cup Cake' threw the first punch! Any other questions?"

I was laughing too hard to have any 'further questions." But this provided a good example of my new Patient's mental state. He looked at everything from the point of view of being a fallen Greek god, but despite this false premise his conclusions were sound.

He also has quite a sense of humor!

I invited my Star Trek club to come meet our newest member. "All we have to do is come initiate him in the hospital. His legs are paralyzed, hopefully temporarily so he's not going anywhere for a while. Oh by the way remember that episode of Star Trek with Apollo? This one's Apollo's nephew!"

They stared at me for quite some time. Finally one of our braver members asked, "Cracked?"

I shook my head, "No. Self improved a tad too much in a rather unconventional way. Oh by the way did I mention he has every word of every Classic Trek episode memorized in both Greek and Italian and is working on English? He may be Cupid the 3006 year old Greco-Roman god of love but he's one of us, folks!"

They were hooked!

My little club and I were in his room holding an impromptu meeting when it became apparent his beloved Therapist had finally got the news. It had only taken a week and a half! The Bar Clientele had more self control than we'd figured! She came fluttering in, worried sick and here we were learning from our new Member how to say 'space the final frontier,' etc in Italian.

Space! L'ultima frontiera. Questi: sono I viaggi della starship Enterprise. Cinque anni la sua missione. Per esplonare strani nuovi mondi, alla recerca di nuovi vivere, nuove civilta, per andare dove non arditamente l'uomo e andato prima!

Her face went from worry, to amazement, to bemusement in a few seconds.

"Well!" She said, "I see there have been some amazing changes since I left. What a difference one and half weeks will make!"

Trevor said, "Sorry about your vacation Claire Bear. Hey folks this is my Shrink. She's very delusional. She thinks she can cure me!"

We all laughed and said in unison "Hello, Claire Bear!" (GMTA).

She said, "I leave behind a lonely Patient who can walk and come back to one who can't walk but who seems to have found a room full of clones of himself! He seems happier this way! What is going on?"

I spoke up, "I'm Dr Benjamin Leo, the Psychiatrist here at the hospital. I'm also a Trekker. When I realized Cupid the god of love was one of us I just had to make him a member of my little Star Trek appreciation society."

She glared at me. "Do you think it is a good idea to be calling him, Cupid?"

I grinned at her, "Unlike you I am not his Therapist. I am only his Friend."

Claire motioned for me to go out into the hall. I followed her.

She said, "It's wonderful he's found some fellow Lunatics to spend some time with. He certainly can use some Friends. But really, you aren't helping his mental condition any if all of you are just going to take him at face value and encourage his illness."

I nodded, "You have a point, but I suspect we aren't the only ones."

She grimaced. You are right. I have a whole bar of Folks just like this, but they often do it in a belittling matter. Trevor is so lonely he puts up with it plus he has to. He's at work. You seem to be doing it in a respectful manner. I think that will raise his self esteem but it sure won't help him decide to try and find his real self again. I was so hoping finally he'd just get tired of it all, tired of the mental work it must take into keeping up the facade, tired of repressing his real memories that surely must keep trying to surface, tired of the way People treat him, tired of my digging at him!"

I asked, "Did you ever try hypnosis? This sounds like a classic case of Dissociative identity disorder."

She nodded, "Yes. That's what I suspect too. The original personality is still inside of him somewhere hiding or unconscious. But I'm not trained in hypnosis unfortunately."

I said, "I am. He's adventurous. It wouldn't be hard to get him in the proper frame of mind to try it and you and I both know with high intelligence level and creativity quotient he'll make a good subject if he puts his mind to being so, But right now his legs are the biggest worry, not his mind. His Cupid delusion if it is a delusion is what is keeping him motivated to recover movement. We are hoping the swelling is just compressing his spinal cord and that it is not severed and that when the swelling goes down he will regain some range of movement. My professional opinion is now is NOT the time to be introducing any major changes into his psyche like switching from being a god with potential immortality to a demented Barkeep with only a few decades left, no family and not even any memories of one's real childhood. He needs his craziness now to cope with his temporary or permanent paralysis."

Claire shook his head, "He'll resist you on that one anyway. Dr. Frechette tried hypnosis. Trevor had him fooled. I doubt he ever went under or if he did he maintained enough control to say just what Dr. Frechette wanted him to hear. But we both doubt it was the truth."

I said, "But I can tell he hates Dr. Frechette and with good reason. The Man wanted to put him on an experimental drug that would have literally permanently destroyed his mind! He likes me."

Claire nodded.

Gently I said, "When the time comes I'll help him find himself and then the rest of my club will help him through the emotional fall out that will cause. In the mean time let's get him walking first and let him be happy for a while that he found a group of people simpatico with his wild imagination."

She nodded, "thanks, I think."

We came back in the room to hear the sound of applause and cheers and a happy look on our mutual Patient's face. "Looky, looky! I can wiggle my toes!" Sure enough 'Cupid' could!

He said, "Now it is only a matter of time before I dance out of here."

Claire said gently, "Trevor it's not going to be that easy. You are going to have to work hard."

Cupid shook his head, "No. I'm not. I've been watching you Mortals work for thousands of years. You modern Mortals don't know what work really is. You're spoiled. I'm going to have to spend a few hours a day working with some physical Therapist and that won't be work. That's going to be more personal attention. It will be just as good for me as psychotherapy because all I get out of what you do for me is the personal attention. It's our therapeutic bond that helps me and that alone. I don't gain 'insight.'"

Claire sighed, "At least you admit it."

Trevor insisted, "Because I am what I am. I am going to dance out of here Folks! Everyone will see that! And I will get my one hundredth couple matched too. It's taking me way longer than I thought it would, but I will do it!"

Claire sighed. "I have to get back to my office. You take care of yourself 'Cupid, god of love' and I have NOT given up on the hopes of bringing you back to reality some day unlike some, (she glared at me) so called Therapists."

She left.

Cupid grinned at us. "Kind of out of contact with reality but she's cute!"

Cupid did work hard even if by his standard of the definition it didn't count as working hard. To his disappointment his physical Therapist turned out to be male. But again at least it was personal attention. Bob Taylor admitted to me he had never had a more cooperative, harder working, less complaining, more optimistic Patient, "He's the sanest Person I've ever met even if he does think he's a god from Olympus. Are you sure he isn't?"

I said, "Of course I can't be sure. It is only a matter of time before somebody like me has a fantastic encounter with a supposedly delusional Patient and it turns out the Patient is correct. The Patient will turn out to be a real Alien or a god or an Angel or something else fantastic. But it is the nature of this kind of mental illness that it is confabulated by the Patients to help them cope with reality not escape from it. And Trevor is VERY intelligent. He's spent hours working on his Mount Olympus scenario, more hours than your or I ever put into obtaining our professional degrees and perfecting our crafts. He spent every waking minute on it for years plus all the work our subconscious does while we sleep. His hard drive thrashed and thrashed and thrashed on this Cupid program and nothing else for no telling how long. He's got it down pat. Of course he's convincing. He had to convince himself first and he was the toughest room he ever had to work!"

One day Bob was so happy I would have thought him on drugs if I hadn't known him better! It turned out he sort of was. He was on naturally occurring oxytocin.

'Cupid' had matched him up with one of the Nurses!"

Can two supposedly conflicting realities be true at the same time? My religion, Star Trek says there are parallel universes. Maybe in Trevor just as in Lazarus two universes meet in a nexus. In him may be two beings, both different and yet the same. One is a disgraced and fallen humanity's Professor. The other is a disgraced and fallen god. And yet each is just as real as the other. It is my privilege to observe and report to my Universe this nexus. I look on with awe! Unlike Claire there is a big part of me that doesn't want him cured. I want him and other incredibly brave souls like him who had the courage to create their own Universe (or contact another beyond ours) to cure us of our mundanism.

But I knew I would keep my promise to Claire to suggest hypnosis. At least putting lip service to the task of curing my delusional Patients is the price I pay for the privilege of getting to spend time with them.

But not yet. Neither one of us was ready for the fun bubble to burst, just yet.

One day Claire asked Trevor, "Are you enjoying your sessions with Dr Leo? Are they helping any?"

Trevor grinned like a Canary fed Cat. "Oh yes! I'm teaching him how to speak ancient Thessalonian Greek and he is teaching me how to speak Klingon!"

"Klingon!" Claire rolled her eyes.

She confronted me.

I said cheerfully, "I always knew learning to speak Klingon would come in handy with a Patient someday. I just didn't think it would be because I would be teaching it to one of them!"

Claire was not happy, "I fail to see how teaching an already delusional Patient to speak an imaginary language is in any way therapeutic!"

I grinned, "Well he's the god of love. I don't think he's going to switch to being a Klingon but it gives his powerful mind something to do other than confabulate more Olympian fantasies!

Claire said, "That kind of knowledge is exactly the kind he would need if he ever decided to switch to Captain Kirk!

A couple of Doctors going down the hall in the other direction over heard this. They gave Claire a funny look.

She continued, "There really is a slight danger of him switching to Captain Kirk. He likes him and you are helping him lay down the framework for it. Because when he gets his one hundredth couple united, what is he going to do? He certainly isn't going back to Olympus!'

I thought to myself, Don't be so sure! Out loud I said, "Maybe you ought to learn to speak Klingon too. You're a Shrink! You never know when it might come in handy!"

Trevor was very forthright for a Patient so delusional. He ruefully told me one day, "Being a Barkeep is my profession. Being the god of love is almost just my hobby these days but I am good at matching couples and when I get one hundred matched I either go back to Olympus or fall to pieces because I realize I've just been crazy all this time. "

I said, 'well they do say there is a thin line between hobby and mental illness."

"And I supposedly have crossed it."

We laughed together.

Trevor admitted, "I think about Claire's theory that I'm just delusional quite a bit. I admit it, Claire could be right! I think about that sometimes, but then again I think, 'Na. I have too many traumatic memories of my past. If I were going to confabulate a past I'd give myself a happier one and I'd pick a god with a bit more social ommmf!' I mean I'm Cupid! I'm not Uncle Apollo or Zeus or Quetzalcoatl or Thor. I'm the laughing stock of the gods, on the bottom of the pecking order and when folks needed their garbage taken down the Mount guess who got to do it? Sometimes I volunteered but sometimes I was 'volunteered' if you know what I mean!" He laughed bitterly, " If I were a starship Captain instead I'd be Captain Quark not Captain Kirk!"

I said gently, "I know how you can not fall to pieces if you reach one hundred couples and don't go anywhere. You do go some where!

He looked at me puzzled.

I explained, "Cupid what you need is a contingency plan. How about if you don't go to Olympus, you reward yourself by going to Disney World instead?"

He frowned, "Nice idea but I could never afford Disney World!"

I smiled, "Sure you can. "Every time you get your pay check, put aside ten bucks out of it and it will add up I assure you!"

He smiled, thinking about the idea. Then he nodded, "And at the rate I'm matching couples which is slightly faster than a Snail in a hurry I'll have my hundredth couple and enough Disney dollars about the same time!"

One day when I came to visit him the Nurse met me before I could enter his room. "Watch it! He's acting really weird today!" She said this as if 'weird' and dangerous were synonyms.

"What is he doing?" I asked with less than the worried tone than she wanted.

"He's got his remote and he's making the bed fold in all sorts of weird ways and he's turning off and on the TV and he's got this grin on his face! Can't you at least prescribe him a little Haldol?"

I'm thinking to myself, bored Patient syndrome. I just smiled and said to myself, "he needs mental stimulation not mental sedation!"

I entered Trevor's room.

He looked up at me, "Hiya Doc! Ever consider what a Mortal miracle modern tech is?"

I nodded, "And you decided to play with every button you have in your possession that gives you any control over it. You are freaking out the Mundanes but you are freaky-geeky happy! Just be glad I'm freaky-geeky too!"

Trevor said to me in a conspiratorial whisper, "Mundanes! We are surrounded by em!"

I nodded, "I know! They want to take over The Universe but they never will because learning how would require them reading the Mad Scientist's instruction manual!"

I thought to myself, he's almost at the point he will be able to walk out of here so he could stand a dose of realty now when before he needed his delusion to cope. And My Patient is bored. Good! I can use that. It is time to give "Cupid" a brand new experience to help him pass the time!

I always knew "The Big Guy" as Trevor called I Am That I Am, was a Jew like me. This is because many Jews are great Stand Up Comedians and as with stand up comedy, miracles are nine tenths great timing.

My timing to ask Trevor to participate in hypnosis was a perfect "Mortal miracle. It worked!

I casually asked my bored Patient, "Hey, Cupid how would you like to go where no god has gone before?"

He grinned and nodded, I'd love to you know. If I'm delusional I should have picked Captain Kirk. He's a better Lover than I am anyway."

Playfully I said, "I have always wondered what goes on in the subconscious of a god."

Cupid looked at me and frowned, "You want to hypnotize me!"

I nodded and gave him a broad grin, "Yup."

He sighed.

I held my breath.

He said, "Onhhh Kay. Go for it. Have your fun."

And that was that. So much for the so called 'treatment resistant inspired arguments,' Claire thought he would give me.

He said, "Bring the club. This they all ought to get to see. It ought to be entertainment big time!"

Most Mental Patients would have preferred privacy. But not Trevor! Of course they were willing to come. Wouldn't you be?

He also requested, "Also Claire is just about the only Person I don't want watching. For some reason she's the only Person whose watching this would make me feel uncomfortable. You know why."

I nodded. I understood.

As we were preparing he said off the cuff, "Poke around all you want but don't change anything. If you want to change something you have to wake me up again and ask permission first and then put me under again. That's perfectly fair I think. Because to change what I am would be character destroying, literally. I have a perfect right to refuse that! I never do anything without a good reason. Even when I choose to behave whimsically, which I admit is often, I do it for logical reasons. If sometime in my past I chose to go nuts and self hypnotized myself into believing I'm a god I would have had a VERY rational reason for doing so. Whatever happened must have been so horrendous going crazy in this less than dignified manner with its own set of traumatic memories would have been my only logical choice and I'm no fool! I won't second guess myself now!' Then he frowned, "And if that's what you find, don't anybody tell me! You can tell Claire but I don't want to know directly from you or anyone else in the club! I can handle Claire! No matter what you find she'll never convince me of anything I don't want to believe!"

I had to admit he had a point. He did have a right to refuse being changed and to refuse being told the results. Part of me was a tad disappointed he'd thought to put these restrictions on me. That took away any chance I had to just make a gentle suggestion that his subconscious even start considering other possibilities as to his existence other than being a god. I couldn't put a "tape worm program" down there to slowly help his "delusion" fade and I couldn't confront him with what I learned.

But the other half of me was gleeful he'd taken away my professional obligation to do just exactly that!

I wondered which it would be that had set him over the edge; a lost love or a violent act either done to him or by him in an uncharacteristic moment of loss of control he felt he had to pay for by 'giving his body away?' I wondered if we were about to find out!

I asked, "You want an Outer Space induction or a climbing Mount Olympus induction?

I wasn't even surprised when he picked Outer Space. He had been in Cupid mode so long it wasn't escapism for him to think up even more stuff about it. Like any bored American who comes home and switches on the TV, he wanted to "escape from reality" for a bit. Mount Olympus was not entertainment to Trevor. It was heritage. He'd, 'been there, done that, bought the T shirt.' He wanted to experience something new.

I told the club, "now please behave yourselves and stay completely quiet."

One of my members asked, "Are you going to make him quack like a Duck?"

Both my Patient and myself said it together, "No it's not that kind of hypnosis!"

I explained further, "This is therapeutic hypnosis. The last thing I want to do is take away his dignity. He's just going to relax and take a nice nap and mumble in his sleep about his past. We may learn something, or we may not. But he'll have a pleasant time of it. If he wasn't intelligent and creative and willing we wouldn't be able to get him under but because he is all these things neither one of us will have any difficulty with it. Notice I say we, because the Patient has to do it. I only guide him. If he was not willing it would be a waste of our time. No one does anything under hypnosis they don't want to. No one loses their free will. It is just a nice, deep dream sleep."

I won't share the induction routine. Hypnosis is not hard to learn and there are books and web sites for those more curious. And it certainly isn't as dangerous as Hollywood would have us think for the sake of drama and entertainment. No one does anything under hypnosis they don't want to do and no one gets "stuck in a trance." Mere hunger and even simple boredom would eventually bring anyone back to normal consciousness if one were left in such a state by a careless Practicer. But I am a Doctor with money and malpractice insurance and I am fair game for a lawsuit if some gets hurt copying what I could say here, (or much more likely they claim untruthfully they did). So all I will say is while under Cupid told us many fantastic things and here are some of them. I haven't the time to record all of them now. Maybe I will later. I do have a practice and a club to run. But here is a condensed version of what we heard.

My Patient was relaxed and in a light trance. He was being completely cooperative and I'd no difficulty regressing him to earlier times in his life.

I asked, "Going way back now, what is the very first thing you remember?"

My Patient frowned. "My Parents are arguing. Mars wants to start a war between the Greeks and the Romans. My Mother is telling him he needs to take some time off and spend some time with me and she's feeling neglected too. Now my Father is accusing her of being unfaithful because he is gone so much, and at least a war closer to home will keep him home more so she can't stray so much."

My professional heart broke a little bit. I wasn't getting real memories here, (unless he really was Cupid). He was confabulating even under hypnosis! That happens some times. There had been many cases of Multiples going under hypnosis and even Sodium Pentothal and not revealing their true selves often with the Therapist never the wiser that he or she is even dealing with a Multiple. Sometimes the alternate Personas may "hide" behind the original Persona's real name. Because and not every single one of them is messed up to the point they need help, because many function very nicely just as Trevor does and because not everyone who develops a Secondary Operating System and lets it take over the Primary confabulates a secondary Persona so weird they come to the attention of the mental health industry as Trevor did, many more People than we suspect might be Multiples. It may be much more common than we suspect!

I decided to keep probing. Even false memories would at least provide insight into his current personality. Because as King Solomon said, "as a Man thinketh in his heart so is he."

"So what did your father do?"

Trevor sighed, "He started that war. We didn't even need selective omnipresence most of the time to watch it. At times we could just look down at the valley and there it was! We could eyeball it! Mortals killing one another so very conveniently close! But Pops still didn't spend any time with me." I could hear the heart break in his voice. He was sounding like a little Kid. "Now Mother is crying. I ask her, "what is going on?" And she says to me, 'Look at all the Mortals who are being killed! War is necessary Eros because it keeps the Mortal population to safe levels but your Father is so mean sometimes! He enjoys it too much!'

"I looked where she was looking and I also burst into tears. And even though I am almost 300 years old she lets me nurse to try and comfort me. It works to some extent but I will never get the sensation of all those hurt and dying Mortals out of my mind. Animals too!"

My Patient was crying.

I said quickly, "Cupid move on to another memory. What is the first happy memory you remember?"

He started giggling, "Uncle Mercury has brought me a big, fuzzy Tarantula. She is an Albino. Her name is Sea Foam. My Mother was delighted about that because the Spider was sort of named after her. Sea Foam is a harmless species but it doesn't matter. It is doubtful poison would have hurt one of us gods anyway. And she's tame. She was a Mortal named Hector's Pet and he was delighted to let a god borrow her for a few minutes especially since he knows Uncle Mercury is one of the kind ones and will give her back. He puts her on my tummy and she starts crawling up my chest and she tickles and I'm giggling."

(He did indeed continue to giggle).

Trevor reached out his finger as if his little friend were in the present. "I gently touch her and she's tame so she doesn't mind. In fact she puts out a cute, fuzzy, wuzzy little leg and touched my right index finger back! Uncle Mercury is amazed at that! He says he 'didn't think a Spider was a high enough Lifeform to respond to my touch like that!' But she did! I am Love you know. Even a Arachnid can sense that. I take her in my hands and hold her gently for a few minutes and then she gets restless. Uncle Mercury says he 'should take her back to her Mortal friend now.' So I reluctantly let him take her back."

I smiled at the mental image this was creating for me. No wonder "Cupid' acted completely Human unlike some other Delusionals who think they are not Human who act very stiff and weird. Apparently even if he thought he was a god he had confabulated some Norman Rockwell moments in his past and his family "the gods" had some very "Human" qualities! In fact I wondered if by chance that could have been a real memory, or maybe even the other one was true but in a slightly disguised form? I asked, "Did you ever lose any loved ones in a traumatic manner?"

He tenses.

I say. "It's OK. They are safe now. But can you tell me what happened?"

He nodded.

He had taken me literally. I had asked, "can." I said, "Will you tell me what happened?"

Again he nodded.

I sighed, "So what happened to your Friend or Friends who died in a traumatic manner?

He frowned, "The Grasshoppers got them."

"Grasshoppers!?" Of all the things I had been expecting him to say, that was not it!

He nodded, "They caused them to starve. Hundreds of billions of them! The sky was darker than night for hours! I had to keep beating at them! They wanted to eat my clothes! No one screamed! No one! Because if we did they would be in your mouth! I fired lightning bolt after lighting bolt! There was only one other time I've ever fired at Living Beings like that! But there were just too many! I killed millions with each jolt but they just kept coming and coming and coming and coming! They came for hours! I am worn out, weeping in the dust! I haven't one jolt left and still they come! Everything was green before them. After they left it was a brand new desert! That is where most of the Sahara comes from; Grasshoppers! The rest is overgrazing. The Big Guy didn't kick you out of Eden. The Grasshoppers ate Eden!"

My Patent's eyes were as red as could be.

"They all starved! Babies! Old People! Animals! It was horrid! But for me the worst was my Friend Chryseis. I was not allowed by the other gods to help her. They would not let me take her back to Olympus because we only have so much room and they did not believe how much I cared about her!" He shouted at the ceiling, "IT WAS NOT JUST PUPPY LOVE AND I DID NOT GET OVER IT!" Then quieter, "I'd been sexuality active with her! I was hoping we'd have a Half blood together. Maybe I did get her pregnant and I have a son or daughter living in John's Cube now but I may never know. I would have stayed around! I wasn't going to leave her to have to raise the Child by herself like so many of the other gods do when they get Mortals pregnant. I truly loved her and even more important I respected her and I have more honor than that! But she starved because the Grasshoppers ate up all the poor, little Mortal's food!

"She starved! She starved! She starved! My beloved Chryseis STARVED! And I mostly stay with her until even her bones turn to dust and blow away in the winds! It didn't even take very long. Only about three hundred years!"

I was shocked! Of course!

Now he was sobbing harder than anyone I had ever seen sob before. I handed him a tissue and he blew his nose in a most ungodlike manner. But maybe I was wrong about that! What could be more divine than mourning for hundreds of years for one's Beloved?

I asked, "What is John's Cube?"

He explained, "Olympus is us Greek god's keep. Asgard belongs to Uncle Mercury's Grandmother's People, the Valkyrie. The Golden Pyramid belongs to Seth and Ra and all those Egyptian dudes and dudettes. Down in South America, Mountain Lion's Den belongs to Quetzalcoatl and his Folks. Hotel California belongs to some folks who live on California Island. They aren't exactly gods. They were experiments that lead to you Mortals being able to build us gods and give yourselves immortality. They have immortality but not our powers or the ability to convert back and forth from flesh to energy like gods, Angels and dead Mortals can. But John's Cube is your own keep. It is where dead Mortals go when they die and you gave it to the Human Carpenter Jesus and made Him Lord of the Universe just because you could and you wanted to. You built us far in the future and network together and evolve into the Omega Point and make sure The Universe keeps Big Banging right so life can keep evolving. Time circles due to General Relativity so here we still are." He frowned. "You've kind of forgotten about us and it hurts!"

Well that was certainly interesting!

He told me many things more along these lines. Human history has some very tense, violent and traumatic moments and while there was much family fun and silly adventures with the Mortals mixed in with all that history it seemed Trevor thought he had lived through every single bit of our last 3000 years worth of "interesting times!"

I was in a quandary! I wasn't getting to the 'real Trevor' and by now I realized I probably never would. The Grasshopper story was extremely traumatic as were many of the others he "remembered! (What possible real memories were these an improvement on?) I didn't want to cause him further distress and reenforce his delusions but on the other hand of I kept digging maybe he would reveal a real memory that would be a clue to his real identity. Claire had one real point. Trevor was all alone and very aware and unhappy about that. But there could be real family for him right in the "Mortal Realm" somewhere. That was just about the only reason I could think of that 'curing him' would be of any benefit. I made a mental note to research and find out when the last Locust plague that had caused a famine had occurred just in case that was a real memory. It turned out, not recently. We "Mortals" have been using pesticides to preempt what surely must have seemed something out of a science fiction horror story for almost a century now. If Trevor was only as old as he looked and not a god this could not be a real memory!

While I still couldn't be sure an act of violence hadn't been the catalyst that caused his psychotic break with reality and that he might tell me the truth thinly disguised, my hope was dying he could tell me the truth! So I asked more from curiosity than any hope it would lead to something "I want you to travel in time, ether forward to that other time when you fired lightning bolts at Living Beings. What happened, Cupid?"

To my surprise he started singing sadly. "Ashes Ashes they all fell down!"

I asked gently, "who fell down, Cupid? Who?"

He said. "First it was the Rats! I like Rats! I didn't want to kill any of them. Rats are very cute Mortals! But they were so very sick and they were spreading it to Human Mortals and we had to think of the Human Mortals first because they are our Ancestors, our Creators. They were squeaking in agony, some of them, already. Others were still OK but they wouldn't be for long! So Uncle Mercury and Uncle Apollo and Uncle Neptune and me and even Uncle Vulcan tried to help, though at first he wasn't much help cause he can't walk or run. We were running around this village trying to kill the Rats!" He smiled. "At first it was kind of funny except when we actually managed to kill one which wasn't often. We can't make ourselves small! Energy beings can only compact down so small! Even the Angels can't really dance on pins though I know a few who are great at dancing in their regular size. They really like those Latin dances and so do I. So we big powerful gods were chasing these tiny, little Mortal Animals all over the village and they were getting the best of us! We were trying to zap them but it takes a few seconds to build up a charge and they kept running under things and away from us before we could hit them. And poor Uncle Mercury burned down this Mortal's barn! That Mortal wasn't the least bit impressed that we are gods! Well you shouldn't be! He scolded Uncle Mercury until his face was red. Both of them! The Mortal from anger and Uncle Mercury from embarrassment!" Trevor grinned. "He was about four and a half feet tall and my Uncle Mercury is an amazing nine feet tall. That is as amazing to us as it is to you. We average around, I'd say, six feet. So this little Chihuahua of a Mortal was yapping ferociously at this Great Dane of a god and the feisty little Guy had my gentle Uncle cowering! Then later after we thought the crisis was solved we tried to build it again for him and we kept joking but with real frustration, 'What would Jesus do?' Because He's the one with carpentry skills! To this day I can barely pound a nail and Uncle Neptune kept hitting his fingers and that was the first time I ever heard some of those swear words! He has some really neat ones because he deals with Sailors a lot! So we did a really terrible job on that barn!" Then Trevor frowned. "But later the Guy didn't care much because his Neighbors on both sides of him suddenly caught the plague and they died too. They were the last ones. We had thought it was already all over with in the village. So he inherited their land and their barns. Everyone who did survive the plague was suddenly rich!"

The plague! I thought. This was what this was about!

Of course I hadn't figured it out from the first! Would you?'

My Patient continued, "Anyway at first Uncle Vulcan couldn't help much. He just sat in his wheelchair waiting to zap a Rat if one just happened to scurry his way but none did. But he thought and he thought and he thought. Then he got this great idea. He built this gizmo that gave off high pitched sound waves and that chased the Rats out of the village so we didn't have to kill the poor little things. But some of the female Mortal Humans and the Kids could hear it too. We didn't want the Mortals to figure out the real way we were chasing the Rats away because sound waves can be used as weapons against Human Mortals too and if some clever Mortal started working on that we might have given you a really bad weapon sooner than you'll figure it out for yourselves. We'd had a similar tragic incident in our past concerning accidentally teaching Mortals how to make fire. Not all gods are like my Father. We don't all want you to kill yourselves off in wars even though it's kind of true that war is necessary until you invent birth control that really works that you will actually use! But that doesn't mean most of us like it and want to help you do it better! Only my Father! So Uncle Apollo got one of his flutes and we pretended it was a magic flute and that was what was luring the Rats out of the village and the sound of it hid the sound waves from the Rat Repeller. They fell for it. Even to this day you Mortals are easy to con. These days we have to substitute techno-babble for Wizard-Speak and dress in shiny suits and pretend to be Aliens. But you believe us!" My Patient grinned here. "The Angels did the same thing at Jericho. All that hullabaloo the Hebrews were told to make hid the sound of the Angel's sonic blaster. That was what really brought that big wall down."

But then again he got very, very serious. "We couldn't help all of Europe. Partiality is a weakness of strength! But this village we had picked to help was very isolated. We thought if we could get the Rats which were the plague vector out of there at least that one village would be alright! Just that one village! We tried to help just that one village! Why couldn't! We at least....." He started sobbing again, "But it was too late! Half of them died even in that one village!"

He was silent for a very long while. For a few seconds I was afraid he had gone into catatonia or something.

Then he started singing in a childlike voice,

Ring around the rosy!

Pocket full of posey!

Ashes! Ashes!

They all fell down!

I realized my cheeks were wet. It didn't matter if he'd seen the Plague with his own eyes or not. My Patient who I cared about deeply thought he had and he was suffering from it! The Plague had killed half the Inhabitants of Europe! Plague happens once in a while even these days but now it's not even a killer of young Children or Old People. Because now use antibiotics to fight it and many other similar diseases. But that means People with weak immune systems who have little ability to fight off such things on their own live to breed.

What if something just as deadly came along that our antibiotics cannot fight? Who would be left in the gene pool who could survive it? But what do we do? Let People die when some moldy bread would save them?

Cupid was singing again. My spine went cold as dry ice! I hadn't realized there was a second verse to this ancient nursery rhyme! Or was there? Had my Patient confabulated it? Or was he the only one in history who remembered what really had been a second verse?

Ring around the rosy!

The Rats are getting cosy!

Light the fires and fear the rings!

We all fall down!"

The rings they were to fear were the pock marks on the skin of the Victims of course as was the 'ring around the rosy.' People put flower petals in their pockets because they thought that would protect them or maybe it was just to fight the stench of their dead loved ones. The fires were used to burn the dead and the ashes were what was left. I wondered if Cupid's people had taught them to burn the dead to destroy the deadly bacteria, or if some insightful 'Mortal" had somehow figured this would help some on his or her own?

I never told Claire of course! But from that moment I suddenly believed him. My heart just knew! I had to act like I didn't to keep my license and to protect "Trevor" from whatever the real equivalent of the X Files was, but I believed him totally! I realized with all those memories, thousands of years worth, no wonder he acted "crazy." Acting crazy was how he kept sane!

It was a shame I couldn't convince him he was just a simple Barkeep with nothing but a few decades of memories to deal with instead of thousands of years worth. Immortality at least as we future Mortals had given it to our self-made gods was as much curse as gift!

I turned to face my Star Trek group. We were usually so very goofy! We were surrounded by Mundanes all day and we had to hold ourselves in! When we got with each other; Folks who were as creatively crazy (or maybe as a Shrink I should just say creatively colorful), as we each were alone, we usually went hog wild and fed each others flames of fancy!

As I said I turned and looked.

Every single one of my zany, little group was crying!

I decided to lighten the mood quickly. I wanted one more story before I brought him out of his trance and I deem it wise never to make that last story a sad one. Patients may have residual memories of their hypnotic sessions and might resist going under next time. So I instructed him, "Cupid lets go to a happier time in your life. Either backwards in time, or forwards. I don't care, but tell me one of the funniest experiences of your childhood."

"Trevor" was aware of his present time and place even though he was supposed to be regressed to an earlier period in his life. And he still knew who I was. That happens sometimes. Cupid said playfully, "Psychiatrists and other Mental Health Professionals are always worried that a delusional Patient is going to jump out a window." My hypnotized Patient grinned. "I jumped out of a window once." He was grinning so I wasn't too worried. I had a feeling I knew what the joke was going to be. So I asked, "I bet you are going to tell me it was a very tall building and have me all worried and then spring on me, 'I jumped from the first floor.' You aren't fooling me today, Mr. Cupid!"

He grinned and shook his head and grinned. "It was actually a three story building and yes it was on the first floor. It was my Mother's palace. But I had to jump because my life was in danger!"

I laughed, "Ah ha! A discrepancy in your confabulations! The gods are immortal. Therefore if you are a god your life could not have been in danger!"

He grinned, "Oh yeah? Not completely true, Sherlock. We gods only have potential immortality. We can kill each other and under really extreme circumstances or even the rare illness we have been known to shuffle off our Immortal coil. So believe me my life was in danger!"

I grinned, "If you were really traumatized you would not be grinning. But I bite. What happened that you had to jump out a window to save your life because another god was intent on ending your immortal life?"

My Patient/Friend grinned, "I was being chased by my sister Rhodos! She was forever dieting and in my opinion she was doing way too good a job of it. She was looking too skinny! I figured she could use some extra protein! So I gave her some. I put a Frog in her potato soup!"

I laughed, "Go on!"

My Great Aunt Hestia was always trading with Quetzalcoatl's brother Xolotl so we would have New World foods too. She would trade olives, apples, oranges, Chickens, and various kinds of cheeses for potatoes, bananas, corn and various kinds of peppers. She had just done so and brought back several tons worth of 'taters which we put in stasis. You realize when I say 'stasis' I am doing the modern equivalent of saying, 'it's magic" because if I say "it's magic" you modern Mortals just can't accept it. Saying 'its magic' would be more accurate. Magic is just sufficiently advanced technology. 'Stasis' is just a science fiction word. But needless to say we gods have a way of storing food forever if necessary and we had several tons of 'taters in said storage. I'll call that putting the potatoes in stasis and keep you modern Mortals with your techno-babble wired minds happy instead of saying we stored it magically which would make you suspicious I was trying to put something over on you. So anyway Mom made 'tater soup and Rhodos had a bowl of it. I figured a little extra protein would help matters along. I had this Frog I'd found in the pond behind our palace. It actually was on The Fate's property but they didn't mind me doing typical Little Boy stuff there. It's not like I could harm myself in any way or that we gods would sue one another even if we did. We are one big happy family after all." Trevor sighed.

I could tell from the way he said it they weren't all that happy a family.

He continued, "And when we do get mad at one another we start throwing electrical bolts at one another, not Lawyers. You Mortals create us far in the Future to be Homo Sapiens 2.0 and definitely in the Future social progress was made because I do think throwing electrical bolts are an improvement on throwing Lawyers!"

I nodded in amused agreement. And we think THIS guy is crazy?

"Froggy was perfectly content to stay in her soup. I have no doubt he or she, whichever, I admit I could not tell even though at that young age I was way beyond your usual seven hundred year old god in being aware of gender and sex and what have you being my Mother's son and a budding love god myself. Anyway Froggy was perfectly content to stay in her soup. I am sure Froggy found it an improvement on being in my toga pocket...."

Togas have pockets?

.In fact he or she sunk down into the soup out of sight." Trevor gave me a mischievous grin. "All the better! Rhodos didn't even know Froggy was there until she took several more spoon fulls and finally ate it low enough to notice my little present! I am quite sure her shriek could be heard by the Mortals down in the valley! And the look on her face was, lets just say I sure wish cameras had been invented already and I'd had one!

At this point I had lost whatever illusion of professional attachment I had even claimed to have and was howling! So was my group. So much for them keeping quiet, but who could blame them? It wasn't dehypnotizing "Trevor." Being under hypnosis is pleasant and he had no motivation to surface before I asked him to now that we were talking about happier events in his life."

Trevor continued dead pan, "For some reason my sister didn't appreciate my kind gesture. The look in her eyes told me elsewhere and quickly would be a wise temporal/space location choice. I vacated the premises by the nearest egress which just happened to be our front kitchen window. I almost knocked Alastair over! Alastair is an elderly Centaur who lives on the other side of us from the Fates. It takes a lot to knock a four footed being that large down, even one as elderly as Alastair. But I'd almost managed!

"I decided based on that, that up would also be a good direction to exit in. So UP I went! I figured Sis would stop chasing me at cloud level since she hates what clouds do to her hairdo. But she kept right on chasing me! She was THAT mad!

"So up I went into the upper stratosphere, my wings dragging all the way." He frowned at that.

I was amazed at the Humanness of this tale, and also the fantasticness of it. But I did manage to keep a professional straight face as I continued to listen to this Norman Rockwellish example of what future bio-tech will lead to.

He continued, "I hated my wings! I didn't need them to fly with. In fact there is no way I could! They were tiny. I was as lot bigger than they were and too heavy for that kind of travel. We gods don't use wings. We do it a different way. I could say 'magic' as I would tell an Ancient Mortal. Or I could say antigravity but both would just be confabulations to keep you Mortals happy. The real explanation is beyond you yet. But the ancient scribing Mortals said I had to have those darn wings even though no other gods have them and I am certainly no Angel and the Future Building Mortals fulfilled the prophesy just as you almost always do with religious stuff. But actually even the Angels only wear them for ceremonial purposes. Theirs come off. Mine didn't come off until they were ripped off when Mommy and Hera cast me down and that was my first silver living for that situation!' He frowned. "They itched and the other gods teased me! They made dressing difficult! Mommy had to cut holes in my clothes and help feed those darned feather dusters and knick knack knocker overs through those holes every day. It was embarrassing being all of seven hundred years old and still having to have one's Mother help one dress and I am sure it has at least something to down with why I am so neurotic. But anyway they also were a drag in the atmosphere because instead of their flapping they just acted as an aerodynamic wind-drag. But I was flying both with god-magic and fear of big sister. That gave me real wings metaphorically speaking. I shot up into that sky faster than the Apollos did! (I mean the rockets not my Uncle and his wife)!

"I reached the level beyond breathable air and went incorporeal. I thought for sure she would quit chasing me then! She hates going incorporeal. My sister Rhodos REALLY is a material girl but unlike such Mortals she has a choice about that! But she didn't stop! She kept right on chasing me. I must really have made her mad!

"I went past the Moon. I went past where Mars would be if Mars had been in that part of the solar system at the time. I passed Jupiter and where Saturn would be. I passed Uranus and Neptune and Xena. It will always be Xena to me. Eris can go suck a lemon! I know her. She's the hind end of a Donkey and not worth naming a pluton after!

Cupid got an amazed look on his face. "Sis chased me half way to Alpha Centauri before she gave up! She warned me not to go home and then headed there herself.

"So now a was a homeless god for a few days. Well it's not like the elements would hurt me, but we gods do like our creature comforts! Cupid sighed, "I would just have to do without.

"I went back to the solar system and hid out amongst the asteroids. I found that one Pops had told me was going to be named after me someday. NASA named it Eros because it has a heart shaped crater and even launched a mission to it. I was so proud!" Trevor grinned here. "An asteroid may not be a real planet like the bigger more important gods get but at least it's something. It's certainly more than some darn crater! A lot of gods don't have anything named after them at ALL! So I feel really lucky and blessed to have 'Asteroid Eros!'

"Anyway a few days passed. We gods are hybrid creatures. We can live on starlight and Volcanic heat if we have to just like the Angels, but just like our wonderful Creators we can eat real food too, and virtual. And I missed eating for real or virtual for several days. Sunlight is OK but it gets monotonous very quickly. The Angels must have other compensations because their method of energy intake sure is not one of their best blessings!

"Anyway I pretended I was the Little Prince for a few days, then headed home wondering if I would even survive doing that. But I can play Little Prince only so long. And even Captain Kirk fantasies were wearing thin!

"I walked in the door keeping a wary eye out for Rhodos. She was there. She glared at me but she did not say one word! Mommy had talked with her.

"She had a talk with me too. Even though I was a strapping seven hundred year old about to start my adolescent growth spurt she took me on her ample, sexy lap and gently pointed out that she did know there was nothing she could possibly say to me that could possibly stop my agenda against Sister. After all Little Boys making life miserable for their Sisters was hardwired into Male DNA all over the Universe and probably the Multiverse too. But she knew I loved Animals.

"I pointed out I knew Rhodos did too even if she was afraid of Frogs, though why I have no idea! She's a goddess! What could a Frog possibly do to her?

"But I knew she wouldn't really have hurt Froggy!"

Anyway my gentle Mother pointed out something my Little Boy's brain had not considered; that I had no way of knowing what exposure to 'tater soup would have done to Froggy. As it was it had not hurt him. But for all we know it could have! Frogs absorb the moisture they need through their skin and 'taters are members of the nightshade family and for all we know Froggy could have been extra sensitive to that.

"That sobered me up really quickly! I made a firm promise not ever would any of my practical jokes involve lower Life forms From then on I would limit my mischief to the various kinds of Homo Sapiens. You. Us..."

I asked, "You consider yourself and your family of little g gods, Homo Sapiens Trevor?"

My slightly hypnotized Patient nodded, "Taxonomic nomenclature calls us 'Homo Sapiens Immortalis Olympians.' After all the template you Mortals used to create us was basically your own. I share 63 percent of my DNA with common, garden variety Chimpanzees and 66 percent of it with you Guys."

"But anyway, never again would I involve anything in any of my practical jokes that wasn't some kind of higher Primate or higher Primate wanna-be. I'm 3005 years old now and I have kept that promise." Cupid grinned here.

So did I.

Unfortunately it was getting late. I decided to end our session and told him to wake up. Cupid had no more trouble getting out of his mild trance than he had getting into it. But few have trouble getting out again anyway. The ones that seem too are just enjoying the relaxation so much they chose not to surface and just leaving them alone until they are hungry solves that.

To my surprise considering he was supposed to be a Multiple Personality it turned out Trevor wasn't a Trance Amnesiac Hypnotic Subject. After I brought him out again he remembered everything I had asked him and what he had answered. He mentioned what he'd told us and then he shrugged, "So I'm a god all the way down?"

Everyone including myself nodded and I wasn't humoring him.

I walked out in the waiting room where Claire Bear was waiting like a Husband awaiting a Baby in the days before video cameras and Father participation.

She looked up at me hopefully.

I felt as grave as a Mortician, except they get hardened to what they do and fake it a lot. I wasn't faking.

I guess from the look on my face she thought I'd found the "truth." I am sure I had! But it would not be any she would believe!

So with great anticipation Claire asked "Did you find any incidents of tragically lost Girlfriends?"

I frowned and nodded, "Yes."

Claire grinned a Canary Cat grin. "I thought so! He denied he ever fell in love but I knew that had to be at the bottom of it!"

I sighed. "She died from starving to death from a plague of Locusts!"

Claire stared at me, "But Locust plagues haven't happened in decades!"

I nodded.

She thought for a few minutes considering the implications. Then she said, "So you never got to any real memories?"

I shrugged, "Unless he is a little g god, Claire Bear. There is always that possibility!

She frowned and gave me a "don't encourage him" look.

At that point I would not have. In fact if I could have convinced Cupid he really was just the best Barkeep in town with nothing but a case of hysterical amnesia I'd have done so! It would have been a blessing to my Patient!

I sighed, "Actually he really lied if he told you he never fell in love. It seems he keeps falling in love with 'Mortals' and they keep going the way of all flesh and he keeps having his heart broke over and over again, thousands of years worth! I guess he just doesn't want to talk about it all!"

Claire stared at me, her eyes wide, "Why is all that an improvement on merely remembering the truth?"

I shrugged, I don't think we want to know the truth, Claire Bear! Even if you convince him he is not a god let his hysterical amnesia continue to protect him! Don't try to cure that because the truth must be more horrid than what he confabulated and he has confabulated thousands of years of false past memories for himself! I'll never get to the end of them! I won't live long enough myself! I've seen Egypt through his eyes, and the Phoneticians, the ancient Greeks, Rome, even ancient Israel and I have Saturday schooling in that. His memories are dreadfully accurate beyond what most Goyams would know. It is like what my Rabbi used to drill into me! And it's like he was there! He speaks perfect Hebrew and fluently except he has a really weird accent I've never heard before and used some words I've never heard before! He is positive he lost a good Egyptian Friend in the Red Sea crossing. He is as traumatized by his memories of his ancient 'Friend' drowning as if it actually happened! If he is this Professor you theorize about he's not budging on hiding it from everyone and can do so even when in a deep trance. It was like trying to find one little Mouse hiding in the World Trade Center! I'm sorry Claire! I never got to any 'little Man behind the curtain.' The Little Guy's just too well hidden!"

She was crying a little. She brushed a tear from her eye, "I had such hopes!

I gave her a hug, "It's alright. The real Trevor is inside of him somewhere and when the time is right he'll surface and it'll probably happen very gently when you least expect it. Maybe he just needs enough new post-trauma memories to keep his brain busy and then it will be alright to let the fake ones gently fade away. So I don't think it will even be as traumatic for him as one might suspect. Trevor has a strong handle on his mind even if it isn't the handle we'd like him to have!

She nodded.

I added, "I am predicting if it doesn't happen during his giving in to fleshly desires and making love like you think it's going to happen, it will happen on a beautiful spring day when the Birds are singing and the Flowers are in full bloom. You'll be with him or someone else he loves very much will be and suddenly being a Mortal won't seem so bad! In fact it will seem absolutely wonderful to lay down all these thousands of years of extremely traumatic false memories in exchange for a few precious decades of being a beloved, cracker jack Barkeep! So the little Guy will surface again and they'll trade places as gently as two loving Brothers brushing past one another and high fiving in the hall of their home. After it happens it may even be weeks before he even lets you know if he ever does. You might not even be able to tell them apart! Because I doubt this Trevor is all that much different from the original and they may be sharing consciousness, either with or without Cupid's knowledge. I suspect that because our Greco-Roman god of love just seems very real and multidimensional unlike so many alternate personas which only go down so far. Because where and how did a "god" get so good at being Human? The real Trevor may be only hiding and enjoying being a mere Watcher instead of a Participant in his life, not unconscious at all, and he may even be kicking in and lending a hand when his Cupid part gets in over his head!"

Claire nodded thoughtfully.

I smiled, "And in the meantime he's very functional! He has intellect enough for a dozen different Personas. Its a wonder he only formed one extra. Most Multiple Personalities don't show such restraint!!"

A worried look crossed her fade, "Maybe we just haven't met the others yet. Don't be so sure Captain Kirk isn't in there somewhere!"

I smiled. I was such s Liar! It was really Claire Bear I was humoring not "Trevor." I just wanted to cheer her up and give her hope! But Cupid's body seemed completely normal Homo Sapien with absolutely no extra bangs and whistles. So there was a strong possibility Cupid was using some Mortal as a Host and the Guy really could decide to surface one day. The Greek gods were some of the elemental spirits the Ancients believed in and they believed they could possess Mortals and turn them into Avatars. (Which in a way did make what "Trevor" had a kind of Multiple Personality Disorder). But I also knew Cupid was no thief. If "the Man behind the curtain"ever wanted to come out Cupid would let him!

One day Claire came to see her Patient and he was happily munching on baklava. He said, "Claire taste the best baklava you will EVER taste in your entire mortal life! I must REALLY love you to offer you some because if anybody else asks for some I'm going to growl at them like a Dog with a bone!"

Claire broke off a piece and tasted it. It WAS good! "Where did you get it?'

He smiled, "you taste it right? See it, smell it? It's not a hallucination is it?

"No Trevor you don't hallucinate, at least not much."

"When I woke up this morning there it was on my night stand."

"That is weird!"

Trevor shook his head, "No. It's my Mother's cooking. I would recognize it anywhere. She sent it to me while I was asleep. My family still loves me, Claire Bear!'

Claire was flabbergasted. "I don't know what to say to that, Trevor. The baklava is obviously real and it is here and it is good!"

Trevor smiled, "Every once in a while my family does little things like that for me that help me keep a grasp on reality and to remind me I truly am in contact with reality despite your best efforts to convince me otherwise. It is how I really keep sane, despite what you think about my not being. I have this silly day-mare about my future. You manage to 'cure me,' and THEN I go back to Olympus! Will I ever be surprised!"

Claire said, "Do you mind if I take a little piece of it and cut a piece off the basket to have it analyzed?"

Trevor shrugged, "Leave it to the eternal Vulcaness. Sure go ahead. It's just wheat and flour and stuff and the basket is the kind that comes from the Publix's right here in town. I recognize it."

Claire was very skeptical of course, "How could a goddess on Mount Olympus get a Publix basket?

Trevor grinned, "Oh Claire Bear she probably 'beamed it up' so to speak. She used a local container to throw everyone off. Too much belief I'm a god would wreck your ability to help me and everyone's love for me as that crazy Barkeep who makes the best margaritas in town. I have far more Friends around here as a loony than I ever would as a god! But you try and find any Publix in town in fact any bakery in America or planet Mortal-Realm that makes baklava this good and I will seriously consider what you said about me just being a nut job. But I know you won't."

Claire said firmly and happily, "With that to motivate me I am certainly going to try!"

Trevor finished the last piece and looked sadly at the empty basket. "I almost hope you succeed! I'd like more of it more than I want to be right."

Claire stared at him, "You'd give up immortality and godhood for more bread like this?"

Trevor grinned, "You betcha if it's this good!"

But she couldn't find any.

And yes she did try. Hard! Of course she did!

Publix doesn't even sell Baklava. Neither did most of the bakeries in the entire town and surrounding area, and Claire tried them all!

The few that did, didn't have stuff with the same taste. Both Claire and Trevor agreed about that.

Just another of the many mysteries connected to Trevor alias Cupid, Greco-Roman god of love!

Well Cupid had steadfast, unbreakable faith he would walk again. But it wasn't the useless "let God do all the work" type of faith I've seen in a few unfortunate Folks most of whom never got better. It was faith that totally believed the supernatural would help but only if he did his part. So he worked and worked and worked in physical therapy. And one day just as he predicted and bragged about he danced right out of the hospital. In fact he was pretty upset they made him ride in a wheel chair to the exit. But once out the door he got out of that chair and slowly "boogied" down the street and never looked back. Claire trailed after him carrying his stuff and begging him to ride in her car! But he didn't! He half danced and half limped all the way back to his Bar several miles away! Claire was more exhausted by that than he was! Admittedly he limped and it was a very slow and painful dance he did, but he danced all the way! Then right away he went right back to tending bar and his Customers were very patient with him about his slowed down gate just as they were (and then some) with his Cupid "delusion." But he improved rapidly. In six months I could not tell he had ever been in an accident.

His explanation was, "because I am a god I heal very rapidly and though I've been cast down I still had some residual ability to do that."

For once I didn't believe him at all. Yes I am sure he is really Cupid. But the real reason he healed so well and so quickly was because he was willing to do the hard work necessary to recover. And he ate right, took supplements and got enough rest.

And my Star Trek Club gained the best Secretary and fanzine Editor any Star Trek club could ever have!

The god of love was never quite so lonely ever again!