Jerome:
"Come on, Petey! Don't you wanna play a game?" This guy, man. He brags about how he upgraded his casino and added all kinds of new games for us to blow our money on, but he won't open it up for us to use. Who the fuck does that? I spent all day yesterday tunneling through dirt and cobblestone and shit to find a stack of diamonds to waste, and now he's telling us 'not today.' I'm four, five seconds from calling up Nooch and telling him to build his redstone card-shuffling-thing so I can get my fix of being an idiot for the day. "Don't make me hafta come over there and axe you another question."
"I mean… If you really want to lose everything…"
"Of course I want you to lose everything! Now pull up those fancy pants and let's get this show on the road! I'm gonna go wake up these lazy buffoons, so I'll see ya around your place in fifteen."
"Sounds good."
I'm gonna clean house tonight, man. That green, slimy money grubber won't even know what hit him.
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first game at the Fancy Pants Casino's first annual Halloween carnival! We're going to start things off with a new game that I like to call Death Dice! So who is g-" He has to be kidding. This little 'carnival' of his was my idea, so I'm gonna go first.
"ME!" I sprint forward before Pressy can even open his big, gooey, lava-y mouth and jump up on the platform in the middle of the new room. Mitch sighs behind me somewhere but he can fuck off. This is my game and I'm gonna double my money or go home bawling.
"It looks like we have our first volunteer! Can we get a round of applause for Jerome?" Lachlan claps half-heartedly and everyone else just keeps staring at the big iron stage under my feet. "Let's get this party started! So here's how this game works: this dispenser has six slips of paper in it, and each outcome has a one-in-six chance of being chosen."
"What do they say?" Vikk asks suspiciously, but Brandon just grins and shrugs it off as he steps behind his plexiglass protection booth and triple-locks the iron door behind him. What does he think we're gonna do? Rob him? Well, I mean he can have Rob… Never mind.
"Just a couple of dares, nothing too serious. You'll see soon enough. You can bet as much or as little as you want, and for every turn you stay on the platform, your money doubles. Sound fair?"
"Sounds like it's the best deal you're gonna give me. Let's do this." I dig eight diamonds out of the inside pocket of my suit jacket and hand them over to him. He counts them and scribbles something on a sheet of paper before giving the thumbs up and pointing to the black X in the middle of the platform. What'd I get myself into this time?
"Ready?"
"Ready as I'm gonna be." He pulls a lever and an iron wall shoots up behind me with metal manacles built into the wall to hold my arms and legs in place. "Do I…?"
"Yes. You don't want to fly off, do you?"
"Now this is my kind of game!" As soon as I move into place, the metal shackles snap shut, preventing me from leaving the platform. What's the worst that could happen, right? It's just a game.
"First roll, for sixteen diamonds… We got a leg, boys!"
"We got a what?"
"Oh, no. Oh, no. Nope. I'm out, boys," Lachlan squeaks as Brandon pulls a second lever and a giant silver saw blade descends from the ceiling and lands on the floor in front of my right leg.
"Wait, what? Whaddaya doing? This isn't… This isn't how you run a casino, Petey. Can't we talk about this? Please?"
"You placed the bet, and now the casino has to take its dues. I think it's time for us to axe you a question, Jerome."
No. No, this can't be happening. The blade starts spinning and it goes faster and faster until I can't see the teeth on the edges anymore. Then it starts coming towards me. Oh, no. No! I-I hafta get outta here. Petey lost his mind. Holy shit, it's almost here. I don't wanna lose my leg! I need my leg! It's mine! I need it to walk! I-I didn't sign up for this, man! I thought we were just playing for diamonds, that's all! Everyone's just standing there and watching with their mouths open as the blade gets closer and closer every second. Lachlan turns around first, and then Preston does, too. They can't watch. Oh, God. I can't watch, either. I close my eyes, but it isn't enough.
At first it feels like a giant paper cut, long and deep with that sting you just can't ignore. It hits me right below the knee and it starts spluttering and squishing and squelching and mushing until it hits the bone. That sounds like a giant dentist's drill and it makes my whole body vibrate. I hafta be screaming at this point but I can't hear it. I can't hear anything but the blade. Nothing else exists but the sound. I can't even feel it anymore.
When the saw stops, all I notice is that my clothes are all wet, and so's everything else. Poor Vikk got a front row seat and he's soaked in shiny, slimy red blood and pieces of meat. There's a horrible silence in the casino. All I can hear is my own labored breathing and Lachlan's pathetic panting over in the corner. I see him tug on the door to the outside but it doesn't budge. This nutcase locked us in here, didn't he? Crazy motherfucker.
"Ready for the second roll?" he asks and I start shaking my head furiously.
"Uh! Nuh-uh! I'm outta here. I lost. Oh, well. I gotta go. Let me outta here." Brandon shakes his head and wraps his fingers around the lever for the dispenser again, the lever that'll take another one of my limbs off if I don't win.
"Sorry, Jerome, but that's not how this game works. You know the rules: you double your money for every turn you stay on the platform. There's only one slip in here that says you can leave. Maybe if you get lucky, you'll draw it."
"N-no, please. You've gotta let me go! You can keep the money! I don't care anymore! Let me out, damn you!"
"And here we go! Second roll, for thirty-two diamonds!" He pulls the lever and another slip of paper pops out. Judging by how the saw's moving up and over, I don't think I won. "Ouch. Another bad roll for Jerome. This time we have to take an arm."
"You can't do this to me, man. Let me out! Let me out! Let me the fuck out, Brandon!" Somewhere along the line, Mitch started trying to break into the banker's booth to turn this torture device off. Nothing he does seems to be working. The saw starts spinning again, around and around, faster and faster, and it inches towards me, only about a foot and a half from my head. There's nothing I can do. I'm stuck here. Nothing can help me now. Closer and closer, and closer and closer… There's a stab of pain and a warm splash, and I'm out like a light. I couldn't take it anymore. It was too much.
I don't know how long I was knocked out.
It mighta been thirty seconds.
Coulda been three minutes.
Hell, it coulda been thirty minutes. He's crazy enough to make everyone sit there and wait for me to wake back up so he could torture me some more. Mitch looks helpless. Vikk looks horrified. Rob looks like he's in shock. And the other two are leaned up against the back wall trying not to puke. Who can blame 'em? If I could still feel my body, I'd probably be puking, too.
"You aren't really a winner, but I like your spirit. Let's go for spin three for sixty-four diamonds!"
"No. No! Stop it!" I guess that scream came from me. It doesn't sound like me. And I don't remember telling myself to say that. I don't know anything anymore.
"Spin three for a full stack of diamonds, and we got… Well, it looks like the house won this round. Good game, Jerome."
"Wait, what? Wha-whaddaya mean 'the house won'? What the fuck does that mean? Pete! Petey!" The saw starts in again, but it's centered now instead of aimed at my missing arm. It's coming closer and closer, and he's the only one who can stop it. It's gonna… It's going for my head. He's actually gonna kill me. Brandon's gonna kill me. I don't know what's so funny about that, but something's funny. I'm laughing. That's what you do when something's funny, right? Right?! It's so close I can't see anything else now, and no matter what I do, I can't close my eyes.
"Well, guys. That was a good game, GGs all around, but you know what they say: the Casino always wins."
