Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
I could go back to every laugh
But I don't want to go there anymore
-Taylor Swift "Come in with the Rain"
They go in cycles.
It's Nate and Blair underneath a starry Connecticut sky as Chuck and Serena dance across the city unsupervised, because their parents just don't care. The former are put on pedestals to become the next Tripp and Maureen, while the latter are ignored and glorified all at once, doomed to fall.
When it's Nate and Serena running after each other, the golden children looming in the light, no one pauses to check how Chuck and Blair are doing. They are alone, together, but alone all the same. They relish in the quiet of the night, only having each other. It's like this now and it will be like this later. They don't know it yet, but this moment sets in motion something that will last for the rest of their lives.
Chuck follows his wife as she lays flowers on two graves. She spends equal time with both, the tears steadily streaming down her face. They do nothing to mar her beauty as he touches her to soothe her. She closes her eyes to feel him again and then whispers across the wind. Her voice was always beautiful, but mostly, it was beautiful to him.
She is beautiful in the light, but there is someone behind her. His best friend stands at the edge of the cemetery, but he hasn't seen his friends. He is leaving so Blair doesn't notice him. By now, he is too far for Chuck to call out to. He hasn't seen him in a while, but that doesn't mean anything has changed. They're Nate and Chuck, the best friends, the boys forever in love with two girls.
It's Nate and Blair again, like it always is, until Serena comes and Chuck tries to lure her by feeding her $50 grilled cheese sandwiches that taste like sin against vermouth stained lips. Chuck is lonely, but the last member of their club doesn't seem to want him. It's unusual to him, to feel unwanted, but the only two girls that matter are the only two that ignore.
Masquerades lie and scheming persists as Nate begins to crawl towards Serena's glowing world and Blair begins to inch toward Chuck. Chuck is ready to salvage their club, but Blair only wants comforting. It's in the Book of Chuck to never turn down a pretty girl, even if she belongs to his best friend. Both girls belong to Nate and he can't even appreciate them properly.
It's Chuck and Blair mid-wedding day and Bart couldn't be prouder, sending mini glances Chuck's way that he thinks he doesn't notice. It's a Bass right to notice, so notice he does. He notices everything anyway and he was never even taught. Nate and Serena break tradition by defying their own birthrights, Nate with Vanessa and Serena with Dan. It doesn't happen quite like they want it to when this day ends both relationships, but Chuck knows they will find their way back to each other. Then, the sets of two could become four and they could reign again.
Later, Chuck will remember that life isn't a fairytale and he doesn't always get what he wants. It's too late when he figures it out and he will be sorry for the outcome.
Serena finds Chuck and then they find their spouses. It's the third weekend of the month, so they spend it in Connecticut. Bridges burnt have now been rebuilt and they can all be friends without the pain of yesterday. The pain lingers, but it is not fresh, so they dine with Tripp and his wife as the newest Mrs. Vanderbilt tries to roast a tenderloin.
It is surprising at first to see the dissolution of Tripp and Maureen, but one look at Carter's sister and Tripp is smitten without fail. Tall, blonde, and smart, she resembles the best parts of Carter and takes after their mother. She is a force to be reckoned with, but Tripp enjoys the challenge.
Before they sit down for dinner, Tripp holds Nate's shoulder. "How are you holding up?"
Nate looks at his feet. They're Ferragamo today. "Well enough."
Tripp decides to ask. "How long has it been, man?"
Nate continues staring at his feet when he responds. "Two years to the day."
There is a pause before Tripp wonders out loud. "I always thought it was going to be you and Blair."
"No." Nate finally looks up. "It was always Serena for me."
Tripp looks his cousin in the eye. "Really?"
Wistfully, Nate looks out the window. "She was the only girl Chuck couldn't take from me."
By now, Chuck feels guilty for lingering behind the door, so he walks into the kitchen to laugh at Tripp's new wife. She's uneasy enough without him there, dropping pans left and right. The kitchen has never been his favorite place, so he walks outside to find his beautiful Blair. She is stunning as the sun sets, her hair nearly chestnut in the glow. With Serena by her side, they are perfect, a modified Norman Rockwell painting.
Serena walks up to her brother and giggles in his ear. "Boo."
She's playful enough when she wants to be, which thankfully is all the time. He doesn't think he can handle another emotion right now, so he drapes his right arm across her shoulders. Blair smiles at them, her teeth bright against the clouds. They smile back at her, happy to witness her splendor.
When Blair escapes to Europe, Chuck resorts to womanizing. It's a pastime he knows well and he does it with practiced ease. It appears to be Nate and Serena's time again, but looks can be deceiving. They are hiding something, but like everything in New York, it will eventually come out. When it does, the explosion is catastrophic and they are lucky to survive the flames.
It's Chuck and Blair the entire year, even when it's not, because try as he might to ignore her, he finds he just cannot. It takes a whole year and some sisterly bonding with Serena for him to realize that he's in love. He can't escape it until it's too late. By that time, she's already in love with someone else. Maybe she never fell out of love in the first place. With Blair, you could never tell.
Once more, it's Nate and Blair as Chuck and Serena stand on the sidelines. They appear perfect in their radiance, more J. Crew catalog than anything from real life. Like Cotillion, they are together at prom and Blair looks immaculate as her skin is draped in custom Marchesa. It's a testament to Chuck and Blair that Chuck has the dress made, but he loves her and they're over, but that doesn't mean he has to ignore her.
It's a step in another direction when Nate and Blair are over before the night has ended, but the only two that talk are Blair and Serena. Perhaps it was always them, the sun and the moon. The boys are mere stars, begging for their attention.
Blair is so busy forgetting that she doesn't notice the small step behind the Connecticut house. She's about to fall, until she feels two strong arms catch her. Judging by his scent, it's not her husband. She remembers a time when she was partial to Armani. She whispers a thank you against his skin, still not having turned around.
Nate smiles against her hair. "You're welcome. You should be careful, Blair."
She finally turns, gazing at him. "I didn't mean to fall, honestly."
He's still smiling. "You dropped your dessert."
"Oh!" She sighs. "It was the last piece, too."
Nate holds out a slice. "You can have mine."
"No." Blair shakes her head. "Apple's your favorite."
He insists, leaving the slice on the porch and heading inside before he feels anything else he shouldn't. It's been so long that he's not sure how he feels about her anymore, but his inner fifteen year old tells him differently. It's too late for them, it always was. Now wasn't the time.
Nate passes Chuck on his way in, but neither man says anything to the other. Nate walks one way as Chuck walks the other. Chuck is captivated when he eyes Blair gently sucking on the pie. She never thought she was a sexual creature, but he knows better. Serena sidles up next to him and tells him to give Blair a moment.
"Isn't that all I do?" Chuck looks away for a moment. "All I do is give her everything."
Serena nods, but stands firm. "She deserves it, Chuck. We all do."
When Chuck and Blair finally get a real turn, Serena messes up and alienates Nate. Nate chooses family over friends, but Chuck and Blair are guilty of lobbying for the Vanderbilt family as well. Chuck tells Serena it's easy, simply don't choose Carter Baizen over true friends.
There are mistakes, trust issues, and falling outs, but most of all, there is growth. They don't witness the progression of their friendship until it gets back to where it was near the beginning, but it happens all the same. For a while, Chuck and Blair still exist. A little after them, Nate finds it in his heart to forgive Serena and they get a real turn, too.
There are indiscretions named Jack and Tripp, replacements for the boys they love the most. The boys they love forgive them. It takes longer than they want, but these are the boys they want. What Blair and Serena want, they get. It happens like this in life and they are privy to making it happen.
Still, nothing in life is set in stone and Chuck and Blair run their course. Serena assures Blair they will find their way back to one another when the time is right, but when is the time ever right for Blair? It's not surprising when Nate and Serena tire of each other's drifting ways. All at once, the two pairs become four entities, just like the beginning.
Chuck walks away without a word as Blair makes her way inside. Tripp tells her Nate is sitting in his room, so she glides in without knocking. He's surprised to see her as she sits on the edge of the bed. Serena tries to make herself scarce, but she wonders what will happen. Chuck makes his way toward Serena and together they listen.
Nate looks at Blair, trying to twist his grimace into a smile. "How's your leg?"
"Better now." She picks up the bag of frozen vegetables and places it on the nightstand and then waves a bottle of wine in his face. "I got red. Do you have glasses?"
Nate nods, pouring the merlot into the oversized glasses. When he hands a glass to Blair, she sets it next to the frozen bag. He sits closer to her this time, almost too close, but she will never bear to complain. He shuts his eyes as she lifts a finger to his face, tracing the angular lines that make it up. They're about to kiss when Chuck whimpers, but Serena hits him over the head.
Chuck hisses. "That's my wife."
Serena shrugs. "And he's my husband. They shouldn't be alone."
Chuck argues. "What are you talking about?"
Sighing, Serena leads him into the room where a weathered newspaper lies. The front page is gone and only the obituaries show. It's clear as day, because they are two prominent people, but it still hurts to see your name filed into the death section.
"Do you see now?" Serena asks gently, patting her brother slightly. "We have to go. They can be happy. I think we could be happy, too."
Chuck asks. "Somewhere else?"
Serena nods. "Somewhere else."
Serena holds out a hand. Chuck takes it, but not before whispering a last goodbye to Blair. It's so obvious now that he wonders how he blocked it out of his mind in the first place. He's always been good at ignoring things that he didn't want to see, but he's surprised it's taken this long to let go.
He has a few last words for Nate. "Take care of her for me."
Serena whispers. "They'll take care of each other. Come on, Chuck. It's time."
When they leave, they are hand in hand. The sun leaves the sky as they walk together in darkness. In another realm, Nate and Blair kiss, long overdue. There's handholding, rekindling, and loving each other underneath the stars. Tripp smiles like he knows the entire time, but Nate's too happy to bother with him.
Chuck and Blair are glorious together, two halves of one whole. Nate and Serena work equally well alone, always eye-catching, but together, they turn every head in Manhattan. There are weddings, lavish to simple. One day, there should be children, but they haven't gotten around to it. Instead, they have each other. It's enough for now. There are double dates and single dates, anything to make the mundane go away. They try their best not to become their parents. For now, they have succeeded.
They are different than they once were, different than they were in high school. They have grown, but they are somewhat still the same.
When life ends in tragedy, the four become two and it was like it was in the beginning. Nate and Blair find each other amidst pain and grief, clinging to each other like never before. Maybe it was always meant to be this way in the first place, but they will never know for sure.
They get a second chance at happiness, a second chance long in the making. Perhaps they're past second chances and onto their fiftieth, but it all feels the same as she rests her head on his shoulder. Somewhere, their counterparts move on and they're all together as they should be.
