Words: 3,111
So, I started a new story because I'm absolutely hopeless. Let's see if this goes anywhere~ Hopefully, 'cause this was actually really fun to write.
Warnings: Spoilers, AU, innuendo, language, dunno where the ships are going but we'll see, blahblahblah
Disclaimer: I have not nor will I ever own Naruto. Unforunately. Hey, Kishi, you up for a little negotiations?
(Also I ignore Chapter 700 like the plague. That is not my ending because nonono what did Kishimoto do? What was he taking?)
Chapter One
Visitors from the Past
The S.A.P. (Shinobi Academy Program) was first inducted into the educational standard by Senju Hashirama. In an attempt to regulate the teachings of children blessed with chakra, a 1 in 50 chance, Hashirama started the program to test and monitor children during their formative years. Every two years, children in grades first through eighth go through a testing process to determine whether or not they have been gifted with chakra coils. No longer found in every human, chakra coils manifested in randomized individuals. More common in the children of already discovered shinobi; large clans have been able to form due to the dominant gene passing on to their children. Clans like the Uchiha, Hyūga, Inuzuka, Nara, Yamanaka and Akimichi are commonplace within Konohagakure, the origin of the Shinobi Academy Program.
A hundred years after the founding of the program and the process has spread across the Elemental Nations. It was Sarutobi Hiruzen who established the Chunin Exams, a process for ninth to twelfth grade shinobi to challenge themselves against foreign shinobi in a test of skills. It is an opportunity to gain recognition within your home country's military before you are inducted, as so many gifted with chakra are. Held every other year, the Chunin Exams occur during the year gap between S.A.P.s scans.
Currently, the S.A.P. evaluators were processing through their normal rounds. Konohagakure High School was only checked every four years for any students that slipped through the cracks, though there was barely hope for their chakra coils to develop beyond the strength of Genin given their late start. Such a time for the high schools to be checked had arrived, and Yamanaka Inoichi narrowed his eyes as soon as the school was settled within the gymnasium. There was a large influx of chakra flooding his senses, far more than the Chunin and Jonin that accompanied him to produce in such a condensed quality. They had definitely missed a student, though how that was possible with the ocean of chakra they possessed, he wouldn't know.
As Inoichi began the introduction speech, seeing as how only this year's senior class would remember the previous speech, Inoichi's sharp, clear blue eyes were searching for the source of the anomaly.
Hatake Kakashi, not a sensor but instead assigned guard duty in case of any mishaps, had his Sharingan uncovered, scanning the many faces laid out before him. Not as impressive as the Byakugan, but it was still able to sense chakra, if only to a lesser degree.
Unfortunately, the chakra was expansive. Large, moving in soothing ripples around the crowd of teenagers and Inoichi could not fathom how such large reserves passed by Konohagakure's military. As his speech drew to a close, Inoichi nodded to his fellow shinobi, his mouth drawn taut in a dissatisfied frown. They would find the powerhouse, seeing as the honor of Konoha's Sensor Squad was resting on this. How? How could we miss this? It was the only question running through his head, and the Yamanaka clan head resisted snapping at his inferiors.
The students were dismissed to their first classes, restricted to their given homerooms until the Chunin retrieved them to maintain at least a sense of order during the examinations.
Letting out a stressed breath, Inoichi turned to Kakashi, raising a weary eyebrow. "Any luck?"
Shaking his head decisively, Kakashi pulled out a lurid orange book that Inoichi only barely resisted snorting at. "None whatsoever."
Letting out a sigh of annoyance, Inoichi nodded and descended from the stage he had spoken from. Heading to where the Chunin had already set up the assessment booths, Inoichi prepared himself for the hundreds of teenagers he would soon be dealing with. None of them were going to be as lovely as his daughter, for that he was certain.
Uzumaki Naruto was worried.
Cerulean blue eyes stared around his school's gymnasium in confusion. He had only moved to Konohagakure when he was fourteen, fresh out of middle school in the small island nation of Uzushiogakure. His mother, as lovely as she was, had decided to go back to her roots and drag her resisting son with her. Utterly nuts, that woman.
Now he was being subjected to an examination that seemed normal to his fellow classmates. How was stopping an entire school day and restricting them to their homerooms until their figurative number was called normal?
Naruto ached for the familiar sea-salt-ocean-waves-cooling-breeze-harsh-sun feel of his home and only glared as a Chunin slid open the door to Ogawa-sensei's classroom. Standing with his other classmates, Naruto shuffled obediently back towards the gym. He had trekked a similar path only an hour earlier before returning and hurriedly texting his mother. Uzumaki Kushina was a mother bear in regards to Naruto, and the blue-eyed blond could feel himself wanting his mother despite the slight emasculation he felt.
Even as he entered the gym his senses were perked for the vibrate of his cell phone, alert for a response for his mother that at the moment was working at Konoha's heavenly Ichiraku Ramen.
There, there it was. Snatching his phone out of his pocket, Naruto turned attentive eyes to the screen even as he kept his senses peaked around the strange shinobi. He may now be registered as a citizen of Fire Country, but Whirlpool was his home and he would be damned if he relaxed around foreign military, even their allies.
The Shodaime Hokage established the SAP and the rest of the countries decided to use it as well. Don't worry, Naru-kun, I'll be at the school soon, Teuchi let me leave.
Not willing to admit the overwhelming relief he felt at the fact that his mother was coming, Naruto sent a quick my class has been brought to the gym, kaa-san, hurry despite the fact that he could feel Ogawa-sensei glaring at him. It wasn't Naruto's fault he was a troublemaker, which was normal Uzumaki behavior in Uzushiogakure so why would he change his ways? The teachers at his school anticipated the challenge. They kept their skills sharp from the traps their students tried to catch them in. When you're teaching adolescents Fūinjutsu, you're expected to dodge, evade, and encourage their behavior because there's nothing worse than an unpredictable seal master.
"Next."
Naruto gulped, tugging at the collar of his orange t-shirt in nervousness before heading to the booth the Chunin was standing in front of. A brunet with unruly spiked hair and a bandage over his nose, the Chunin smiled at him as he took a seat at the foldable table, motioning for Naruto to sit across from him. The blond continued to send his chakra out in waves, distorting and distributing his incredibly large – even for a Uzumaki – chakra throughout the room.
"Hey, kid. I'm Hagane Kotetsu, you?"
He was on guard. Naruto could see it despite the nonchalant air the man was demonstrating. The front was to disarm, to relax his classmates and make them easily offer up any sensitive information. But they were civilian in every way Naruto wasn't and he'd be damned before he allowed this Chunin's weak charm to lure him into confessing anything that kaa-san hadn't informed him he could divulge. He could see the tightly coiled muscle of a shinobi, a tool of death waiting to strike at a moment's notice.
Naruto pushed those evaluations aside, however, in order to beam at the Chunin with his best I'm-just-an-innocent-but-slightly-dim-blond-boy grin. Kaa-san had coached him on that grin, taught him how to accentuate his face, as attractive as his father's after the baby fat had melted away during puberty. "It's Naruto, Hagane-san."
"Last name?" The Chunin questioned, chuckling at Naruto's demeanor and leafing through the binder that held the school's list of students.
"Uzumaki."
It was like a switch being flicked. The loss of the cool, you-can-trust-me aura and the arrival of an I-can-and-have-killed aura that was full of suspicion and warning. Naruto kept up his brimming smile though, even as he felt for his chakra, overwhelming and stifling from where it was dispersed even to the rafters of the gym. He could see the beads of sweat forming on his classmate's just from the mere presence of it, coalesced in the gymnasium instead of distributed evenly throughout the wide campus. Just as abruptly though, Naruto pulled it to him, concentrating that heady chakra all within his body as it belonged and couldn't resist that sadistic twinge that pulled at his grin as the thirty Chunin and Jonin stationed in the gym seemed to shrivel, curling their senses close and tight together in an effort of evading the rather blinding effect of his chakra.
Bright and fresh, sea-salt and sunlight against the earth and trees of Konohagakure shinobi.
"Something wrong, Hagane-san?" Naruto inquired innocently, tilting his head as cerulean eyes regarded the panting Chunin that had sweat seeping into the bandage across his face. Dark eyes locked on his form and Naruto simply kept up his look of confusion even as he felt the largest chakra pools, the senior Jonin, approaching the assessment booth. Yamanaka Inoichi and Hatake Kakashi, spotted and observed during the introduction speech, were soon creeping in. Their bodies were taut, coiled in preparation to spring and fight and defend because Konoha shinobi had the arrogance, the freedom, to launch into battle to defend a teammate despite risk of their failure.
Uzushiogakure shinobi knew that it would damage their small but lovely village were they to risk, to depend on a teammate to focus on rescue instead of completing the mission. Never abandon your teammate, true, but never be weak enough to risk the village by needing a rescue. Uzumaki survived, their home was the Village of Longevity for a reason. Their blood, their dedication, and of course: their seals. Brilliant, wonderful Fūinjutsu that would act as a rescue unit without the cost of distracted shinobi. Fūinjutsu that would protect and save.
Still, the offer of comrades, in fighting with a group rather than by oneself, was a foolish thought to disregard and Naruto felt reassured in the fact that kaa-san, the Red-Hot Habanero of the Uzumaki clan, was on her way as Naruto's reinforcement.
Inoichi and Kakashi were watching him now, attentive and wary and Naruto could not resist that snort that slipped through his innocent facade. Rearranging his features into one of amusement and annoyance, Naruto raised a blond eyebrow while looking between the three. He wasn't ignorant to the other shinobi, in pain from their senses that screamed chakra but still prepared to fight nonetheless.
"Your resistance to chakra sucks, dattebayo." Naruto declared before his chakra abruptly dissipated, curling through the air and dispensing throughout the school grounds.
The palpable relief from the Konoha shinobi, their relaxation, almost had Naruto summoning his chakra to him again, just to teach them the point of paranoia and how one doesn't relax unless unconscious or dead. Deciding that Konohagakure was still allies with Uzushiogakure despite their foolish, so very stupid ways, Naruto decides against flooding their senses and instead fixes a look at Inoichi. He was the leader in this assessment mission, as far as Naruto could tell.
"Mainland shinobi are weird."
The blunt, degrading tone of his voice caused every shinobi within the gymnasium to twitch and glare at the blond in indignation. The civilians, his classmates and teachers, had drifted into unconsciousness at the mere collecting of his chakra and Naruto could only peer at them in slight distaste. This was a normal civilian reaction to overwhelming chakra levels.
Only it wasn't, not to Naruto. Naruto, who lived and thrived alongside shinobi and civilians within the little hideaway that was Uzushio. Naruto who played with civilian children with his chakra collected, not carefully dispersed to lower the sheer tsunami that it was.
"How haven't you been detected by the S.A.P. before?" Inoichi asked relatively calmly, brushing stray hairs out of his eyes while Kakashi, the subtle Copy-Nin who copied a thousand jutsu, covered his Sharingan eye with his hitai-ate yet again. He didn't pull out that perverted book that had kaa-san raging, and that was obviously a sign that he was still attentive, still ready to send his single original jutsu into Naruto's gut.
"Because I've only lived here for four years, maybe?" Naruto looked at the man curiously, cerulean orbs a lit with sudden mischievousness and calculation. "Hey, aren't you Ino-chan's father?"
Kakashi watched his squad mate stiffen, clear blue eyes turning to fire as they regarded the seventeen year old Uzumaki still sitting so languidly on the foldout chair. Muttering sullenly under his breath about over-protective fathers, Kakashi wasn't surprised by the subsequent explosion of hissing blond parental rage.
"How do you know my daughter?!"
"Well, there are two answers to that question, because I know your daughter real well and her personality isn't the only thing that's perky." Naruto was even cheeky enough to add a wink, Kakashi noticed with a wince. What the little brat had just insinuated would leave the head of the Interrogation department – Morino Ibiki head of the Torture – in a frenzy. What was worse, the Uzumaki was probably anticipating this reaction.
With a fluid movement, Kakashi clamped a hand on Inoichi's shoulder before the man launched himself at Naruto with a rabid snarl. They were on a mission, after all. They couldn't focus on the possibility that the blond before them had had sex with their team captain's daughter.
Although the image did pop into his mind, spurred on by his constant indulgences in pornography. Pushing it aside, because no, that's pedophilia, Kakashi directed a single dark eye to the still lounging blond. "Why wasn't the Konoha military alerted?"
"Oh, but they were, Kakashi-kohai."
Time seemed to freeze and the Copy-Nin could only keep his eye fixed on the Uzumaki, his once cheeky look resolving into a truly happy grin as his eyes darted to the form behind him. "Kaa-san!"
"Shush, Naru-kun." The voice, the achingly familiar voice, spoke again and Kakashi slowly, ever so slowly, turned where he stood. Red hair whipped through the air behind her, bright as a flame and contrasting against her violet, violet eyes. Just as curvaceous in his more innocent, teenage memories with a body that had the Chunin and Jonin around them lingering for just a moment more than appropriate.
It was her. Uzumaki Kushina, the Red-Hot Habanero who had left Konoha after the death of his sensei. Namikaze Minato: the Yondaime Hokage, the prodigy student of Jiraiya the Sannin, the sensei to Hatake Kakashi and his now one-man squad. The father of Uzumaki Naruto, who was right behind him, grown and looking like his father and how did Kakashi not notice?
"Kushina-sensei." Kakashi whispered, because she was his sensei, just as much as Minato. She taught him seals, as intermediate as his knowledge was. She taught him how to track and evade and livelivelive because there was no protecting Konohagakure when you were dead. She taught him not to be a burden, how to pick himself up and save himself because one shinobi helping him meant one less shinobi focusing on the ultimate goal: the survival of Konoha.
Violet eyes, iridescent and similar to amethyst, rested on him for a moment. Assessing, evaluating, and calculating the changes that seventeen years had caused. Then the attention was gone, reverted to the blond bundle that was still lounging in the foldout chair and watching their exchange with barely-hidden humor.
"Naru-kun, what have I told you about your chakra?"
"That it's insane even for a badass Uzumaki like you to picture?" Naruto replied instantly, causing a slight frown of annoyance to flicker across Kushina's face before she nodded.
"Exactly. Now, why did you concentrate it on mainland shinobi?"
Kakashi was sure he should be insulted. In fact, he felt the vague prickle of annoyance at the derision laced in her tone. Staring at the woman he had admired since they had met, Kakashi wondered just how big of an impact Minato-sensei's death still wrought with the redhead. It was still a gaping, clawing hole in his own chest and Kakashi could only imagine Kushina's pain.
"It was fun. They were annoying, believe it."
She snorted. Kushina actually snorted at an answer that would have had Genin Kakashi eating dirt through his mask because of the blunt, upfront and completely uncaring way it was presented. Amethyst eyes gleamed, however, and Kakashi bemoaned the fact that Kushina had spent seventeen years within Uzushiogakure after she had left Konoha. Thirteen, if Naruto were to be trusted on his word, but that's still horrible because the Uzumaki clan is insane.
Sending a bewildered glance to Inoichi, who still looked to be seething if the quick glare he sent to Naruto told him anything, before stepping forward for some answers. "The military knew? Why weren't we alerted of Naruto's presence, then?"
"Because he's a ninja of Uzushio, not an untrained civilian that needs to be found." Kushina stated easily, eyes once again focused on Kakashi and he tried not to be absolutely thrilled by that prospect.
"Then why is he in high school?" Kotetsu spoke up, having finally recovered from Naruto's startling chakra.
"Because my mother is insane, dattebayo." Naruto muttered out of the side of his mouth, cerulean eyes locked firmly on his mother and his expression giving nothing away to those watching the occurring exchange.
Violet eyes narrowed and a delicate yet destructive finger was being pointed, Kushina's annoyed growl following. "You're getting an education, whether you like it or not."
"Kaa-san, I know all of these things already. They're only biased in Konoha's court this time around."
"Your only high school experience will not be Kirigakure! You were twelve!"
"Still managed to get laid, though."
Kakashi could only watch in horror as the bickering continued, mortification quickly tapped down on at the fact that Naruto just said that to his mother's face. What kind of hell had this day turned into? It was supposed to be a simple, routine check up on Konohagakure High School that had led to this. Two Uzumaki bickering, surrounded by wary Konoha-nin while the younger Uzumaki's classmates lay splayed around a gymnasium in unconsciousness because he decided to overwhelm their chakra senses.
Kakashi wasn't sure to be ecstatic or terrified that he was seeing his old sensei yet again.
"Yeah? Well, you're fat." Naruto suddenly declared childishly and Kakashi could only wince at the waving hair and the glowing eyes as Kushina descended into a rage. How could Naruto, the child of such a woman, not know when to hold his tongue?
Ah, it may be because he's able to outrun the threat.
