Nine months later…

Shuichi hesitated before pushing the door of his apartment open. He stepped into the warm light and set down his briefcase as he began to remove his shoes. His coat came next. He hung it on a hook before turning to face the man blocking his way further into the apartment.

"You're late," the dark-haired man said. He didn't add 'again', but Shuichi heard it anyway.

He ducked his head, his usual excuse falling from his lips. "I am sorry, Hiei," he said. "Work kept me."

Hiei scowled. 'You're working for your step-father," he said. "Shouldn't he give you a break?"

"You would think so," Shuichi said, forcing a laugh. The truth was that Hatanaka Kazuya did not push Shuichi at all. He was far too enamoured with his new wife, Shuichi's mother, to do that to her son. Shuichi's workload was consistent with that of his colleagues. He hadn't actually been working late.

Hiei stepped aside, allowing Shuichi to enter the kitchen. He could already smell a roast cooking in the oven. The red light of the timer blinked from 10 to 9 as he glanced at it.

"It seems I am just in time," he said.

"No. You're late," Hiei informed him, his tone grumpy. He wrapped his arms around Shuichi from behind. "If you had actually been on time, then we could have been spending the last hour doing something enjoyable."

"Enjoyable?" Shuichi asked, trying to keep a tremor out of his voice. Just a few weeks ago, he would have been very content in this position. But now…

Still, he had to put up a good front, or Hiei would realise that something was wrong.

Hiei's breath tickled his ear. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Mmmm?" Shuichi asked, continuing to play dumb. He knew that it irritated Hiei and it was one of the few indulgences that still brought him joy. That wasn't tainted.

Hiei kissed his neck. Shuichi's pulse rate quickened. It should have felt good. He used to enjoy this. But now it wasn't enough. It wasn't what he wanted.

And Hiei noticed his tenseness. He withdrew his lips from Shuichi's neck but kept his arms around him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, nuzzling into Shuichi's hair.

The concern in his voice only added to Shuichi's guilt and shame. He wanted to blurt out everything but he knew that if he did, he would lose Hiei forever.

So, instead, he lied, as he had been doing for the last few weeks.

"It is nothing," he said. "I am just tired." He gave Hiei's hand a squeeze in an effort to placate him.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Hiei sighed and released Shuichi. "Go sit down," he said. "I'll get this out." He moved around Shuichi and walked over to the stove. The loud noise cut off as Hiei flicked the switch to turn it off.

"I will get the plates," Shuichi volunteered.

"Don't bother. I already did," Hiei informed him as he opened the stove door. A rush of heat hit Shuichi.

Shuichi looked over to their small dining room table, seeing two places already set opposite each other. For some reason, seeing that only made him feel worse.

Hiei gave him an annoyed look as he stood and turned, tray in hand. "You're in the way," he said pointedly.

Shuichi moved around the island counter and over to the table. He took a seat and stared down at his empty plate.

Hiei served up the food and sat down opposite Shuichi. Shuichi reluctantly raised his green eyes to meet Hiei's crimson ones.

"How was your day?" he asked as he started to cut into his meat.

Hiei snorted. "One of my students broke his wrist," he informed Shuichi.

"That sounds awful," Shuichi told him.

"Well, if he'd done what I told him to do…" Hiei's expression was sour at the memory. He was a martial arts instructor at a nearby dojo and most of his students were teenagers. Shuichi knew that he had difficulty with some of his student's attitudes but despite how much he complained, Hiei enjoyed the job and found it rewarding.

"What about you?" Hiei asked him.

Shuichi swallowed his mouthful of chicken before answering. He kept his voice carefully neutral. "The usual," he said.

"I don't know how you do it," Hiei said. "I'd go crazy being shut up in an office all day."

Shuichi smiled a little at that. Hiei was the sort of person who liked to be doing something physical. The only books he read were the manga he borrowed from his friends Yusuke and Kuwabara. If he wasn't doing something physical, he felt that he wasn't being productive.

"It is not so bad,' Shuichi said. "And the money is nice."

"There is that," Hiei agreed. Shuichi's salary was a good deal higher than Hiei's. "But I think I would rather be doing something I enjoyed."

Shuichi frowned, Hiei's words sparking an unsettling thought. Did he really enjoy his job? It was okay, but not something that gave him any real satisfaction or sense of accomplishment. The money was good, but Hiei was right. There was more to life than money.

But Shuichi couldn't worry about that now. He had other problems to consider. And one of them was sitting across from him and regarding him with a confused frown.

"Shuichi?"

Shuichi startled. Hiei had been saying something but Shuichi had been too caught up in his own thoughts to take any notice.

"Ah, I am sorry, Hiei," he said. He seemed to be doing a lot of apologising lately. "I really am tired."

"Yeah." Hiei's frown remained in place as he studied Shuichi. "I asked if the chicken was all right."

"Yes. Yes, it is delicious," Shuichi assured him hastily.

"Good. I got the recipe off Keiko," Hiei said. "I've never tried it before. I didn't think it would turn out but since you weren't home I thought I'd try it."

"Keiko? Urameshi Keiko?" Shuichi asked, surprised. Guilt gnawed at him once more. Hiei had been doing most of the cooking lately. And the cleaning. Shuichi knew that he hated it, but he rarely complained. Not beyond the usual mutterings of how temperamental the stove was, anyway. Shuichi was well aware that he wasn't pulling his weight when it came to household chores lately.

"Yes. Yusuke's wife."

Shuichi knew that Hiei's friend Yusuke had married his long-time girlfriend the previous summer. He and Hiei had attended the wedding. Hiei had looked very handsome in his new black suit. Shuichi's heart ached.

Hiei leaned back in his chair, the plate before him empty. Shuichi was barely halfway through his own meal.

"You know," Hiei said thoughtfully. "We haven't all gotten together since… I don't know. Was it the oaf's birthday?"

"Don't call him that," Shuichi admonished Hiei. It was an automatic reaction and Hiei ignored him. Ever since his sister had begun dating Kuwabara, there had been some awkwardness between the two men, and Hiei clearly had no idea how to handle it.

"We should all go out to the temple for a weekend," Hiei suggested.

Shuichi's heart stuttered. The temple. It was where Yusuke and Keiko had gotten married. It was also where Shuichi had woken, after being kidnapped and held prisoner for two years.

Shuichi remembered nothing of his kidnapping, which he'd been told was probably a blessing. Though sometimes his leg ached where he'd been shot, despite the fact that the wound was now just a scar.

"I-I am busy at work," Shuichi said nervously.

"Your boss is your stepfather," Hiei reminded him. "I'm sure that if you tell him that you need some time off, he'll give it to you."

He would, and Shuichi knew it. Even if Kazuya was not amenable to the idea, his mother Shiori could certainly talk him into it.

"We'll have to talk to the others, anyway," Hiei said. "Figure out a time that works for all of us."

"Yes." Shuichi pushed the last bite of his chicken into his mouth, though his appetite had fled like a fox before the hounds.

Hiei stood, taking his own plate to the sink, then returning for Shuichi's.

"I will clean up," Shuichi offered, rising to his feet.

"No," Hiei said firmly. "Go and have a bath or something. Try not to fall asleep while you're in there. I'll take care of this. It won't take long."

"Hiei…" Shuichi swallowed hard. He didn't deserve this kind of treatment. He didn't deserve this kindness.

"Shuichi, go!" Now Hiei's voice held frustration.

Shuichi left. He retrieved his briefcase from the entryway and took it into the bedroom before he got a set of pyjamas and went to the bathroom.

As he stripped off his clothes he stared numbly at himself in the mirror above the basin. Or, more specifically, he stared at the marks marring his skin.

Dark bruises blemished his skin, the remnants of fingers that had dug cruelly into his hips. There were other marks, too, On his back, on his thighs.

Tears pricked in Shuichi's eyes. In the beginning, everything had seemed perfect. Maybe it was like that for all new relationships? Shuichi wasn't sure. He'd never really been in any serious relationships before Hiei.

He'd enjoyed spending time with the dark-haired man. He'd liked how gentle Hiei was with him. He'd liked being treated like something precious and cherished.

But now…

Shuichi scrubbed at his eyes but the traitorous tears continued to flow.

He'd thought that once would be enough. One time, just to get it out of his system. Then he could go back to his perfect relationship with his loving boyfriend and be content.

And it had worked. For a few weeks, anyway.

Now, it was several nights a week. And it was getting harder and harder to hide the signs. Not just the physical, but the mental signs as well. Hiei wasn't stupid. Sooner or later, he would realise that Shuichi was lying to him. Sooner or later, he would realise that Shuichi wasn't worthy of his love.

Perhaps it was stupid to cling to it. Stupid to carry on this charade. It would only make it harder when the end finally came.

But Shuichi couldn't let it go. Hiei was his lifeline. He loved him, despite his actions.

Shuichi tied up his long red hair before he stepped under the warm spray of the shower. The smell of his floral-scented soap filled the room and relaxed him. He gingerly ran the washcloth over his fresh bruises. They still ached, but it was a pleasant ache.

And that was the problem. That was the whole problem. Shuichi liked that feeling. Needed that feeling.

And he knew that Hiei couldn't give him that. He could give him everything else he ever wanted or needed.

But he couldn't give him that.

-0-

Shuichi finished his shower and returned to the living area to find that Hiei had finished the dishes and was sprawled on the sofa with the television on and one of his mangas open on his lap as he flicked through channels.

The apartment that Shuichi and Hiei shared was small but homely. When Shuichi had been living here on his own, he'd had a veritable jungle of plants crammed into almost any available space, but Hiei had convinced him to either relocate or sell most of them. Though he had allowed Shuichi free-rein on the small balcony just off the living room. Shuichi could see the dark shapes of his plants through the sliding glass door. Beyond them was the bright lights of the city.

Hiei looked up at Shuichi and then patted the sofa beside him. "Come on," he said. "You look like you're going to fall asleep on your feet."

Shuichi was still warm and lethargic from his shower. He settled beside Hiei, making himself comfortable on the plush cushions.

"You want to watch anything?" Hiei asked him.

"No, thank you," Shuichi told him. He rested his head on Hiei's shoulder and closed his eyes. Hiei's body radiated warmth and comfort.

Hiei paused on a channel. After a moment, he said, "I guess it won't be all-out war, after all."

Shuichi turned his head to view the television screen. It showed two men dressed in suits shaking hands at a podium. The event had happened last night. A treaty had been signed by the international powers. Kazuya had explained some of the new trade deals, as they affected their business, to him that day, but Shuichi hadn't really been giving it the attention it deserved.

"Father is pleased," he said sleepily. "A war would be bad for business."

"Some business, anyway," Hiei countered. He started flicking through the channels again as Shuichi's head dropped back to his shoulder. Some of his hair fell forward and hid his face.

Shuichi wasn't even awake long enough to see what Hiei finally settled on to watch. Nor did he stir when Hiei lifted him in his arms and carried him to bed.

-0-

Hiei stared down at Shuichi's sleeping form, tucked beneath the covers of their bed. He couldn't help but be irked with the redhead. Shuichi had been working late almost every evening and Hiei felt that they were barely spending any time together.

And, when they were together, Shuichi was distant and distracted.

Hiei had decided to try making something different for dinner, hoping to draw Shuichi out but it hadn't gone to plan. He'd asked Yusuke's wife for some recipes, figuring that she had to know what she was talking about since she'd practically grown up in the restaurant business, and she had obliged him by writing some simple ones up for him. Hiei, himself, preferred plain food, but he knew that Shuichi appreciated flavour.

But Shuichi's reaction had been disappointing. He hadn't even seemed to notice Hiei's effort.

Hiei's suggestion to meet the others at the temple had ulterior motives. There was a gulf between Shuichi and his former friends that they'd never been able to bridge, despite their best efforts. Shuichi remained distant, caught up in his schooling, then his new job. Kuwabara had the best luck with the redhead, since he'd attended the same university. He'd been reluctant to approach Shuichi directly before he'd started dating Hiei, for many of the same reasons as Hiei. But after they'd started dating, all bets were off. Kuwabara had gone out of his way to try to befriend Shuichi.

But Shuichi hadn't made it easy. He was so busy that he barely had time for Hiei, let alone Kuwabara. The gulf remained, even now.

Maybe a weekend away was just what they all needed. Shuichi would have no distractions and perhaps old friendships would be rekindled.

Hiei turned away from the bed, leaving Shuichi to his rest. He still needed to shower before he joined him.