New story, you guys.

I hope you will enjoy it.

More notes at the end of the chapter.


Prologue - Broken Hearts

Judy had just left her shower and was drying herself with her towel. She knew that without a fur-dryer, there was no way the job would be thorough, but that would have to be enough, as she had done without it for almost 46 years.

She stepped in front of her stand-mirror to comb her fur and take a look at herself.

It had been years since she had stopped recognizing her own body. To her lean and fit body, the years had added matronly curves that most female bunny would have been glad to possess.

"I look like my mom." She muttered under her breath. Saying the words out loud made her realize the truth behind them.

This was a new day, her new day. Years later, she had found the strength to change, to try something else. All she had to do was to get through with the first step of her plan. It was going to be hard, and probably painful, but she refused to live the rest of her life like this. Numb, passive. Waiting for a life that would never come to her.

Clenching her teeth, she looked away from her reflection and clothed herself.

Getting back to her room, she opened the chest of drawers and looked under a set of clothes. The large envelope was where she had left it, not that it surprised her. She took it, as well as her precious carrot pen, and got downstairs.

She could hear as she stepped toward the kitchen, the noise of the coffee being poured into a mug. A male bunny was sitting at the kitchen table. Though barely in his fifties, his greying hair and square glasses gave him a venerable look. As he saw his wife enter the kitchen, he gave her a loving smile before pouring her a mug too.

"Not usual for you to get up this late, Jude." He said as a greeting.

The doe took the mug and dropped three sugar cubes inside it. It was one last move, one last step. Part of her thought she could have eased him into it, get him used to the idea somehow, but those were just excuses to back down. Better to rip the band-aid right now. She drew a breath and took the plunge.

Judy slid the envelope she had been hiding behind her back toward her husband before sitting down.

"What's this ?"

She closed her eyes. She was about to say the five words she had dreamt of saying for years, and she knew they were going to hurt him more anything she had ever done.

"These are divorce papers, Ethan."

As he was sipping his coffee, the five words had frozen him in place. He dropped his mug, and it bounced on the table once, before falling and shattering in a thousand pieces as it collided with the floor.

"What ?" Came his distraught voice.

Judy had crossed her fingers and was looking to the side, not ready to cross his gaze yet. "These are divorce papers."

"What- How- Why ?"

"Because..." This was hard. This was so hard. But she had to say the words. "Because this was never the life I wanted."

The buck stared at her in disbelief. He felt like he was in a bad dream. It didn't make any sense. It couldn't be happening.

"But- But-"

"I'm sorry, Ethan."

"Why ?" He asked again, his voice breaking.

"Because Evan and Katie both left for college and they won't need me as much as before. I didn't want them being torn between us."

The buck let go of the papers and let his paw slid from the table to his side. They had been married for about twenty years and he knew that cold and resolute town. It was the same she had used when she had refused to have more than one litter, the one she had used when she had refused to move in to his family's land.

But he couldn't yield.

"No." The buck took down his glasses and wiped them, trying to calm the tremor in his paw. "You can't do that."

"Yes. Yes I can. You weren't a-"

A fist slammed on the table, silencing her. Ethan was by no mean a violent mammal. In fact, the reason why she had developed feelings for the plant biologist in the first place was his gentle and kind nature. "You're going to throw all this away ? What we've built together, our family ? And what, take half of what I have, the house, the money ? How can you do that to me ? To us ?"

The tears that were welling his eyes dented her heart. She hated that she was hurting him. She hated herself in that moment, and little part of her wished she could go back and erase the last five minutes. But another part of her screamed, roared her longing to be free.

"I'm doing this for myself, Ethan. I'm not taking anything. If you look at the papers, you'll see that I'm not asking for anything. No money, no pension, no house. No nothing." Besides, if someone would have to pay for a pension it would be her. The kids would legally stay with him. She refused to make them part of the fight that could ensue.

The buck trudged through the paper and realised that she was telling the truth. "Is it something I did ? Is it something I said ? We can still salvage this, please, let me try-"

She raised her paw. "I don't want to salvage this. You weren't a bad husband, but I know I was never a good wife."

Getting up, he rounded the table with wobbly steps, and grabbed her paws. "Please let's talk about this. Tell me what you want ! Please ?" He sniffled, trying to find her eyes.

Any other mammal would have found that display of emotion pathetic. Judy, on the other hand, was fighting to not let it break her resolve. "There is nothing else that I want. I wish, I really wish that I could do this without breaking your heart. I wish I loved you as much as you deserve. I wish that I could take the last twenty years back and let you find the real doe of your life, not the one that would let-." She choked on the rising tears and drew them back. "Not the one that would let time eat her away until she could find the courage to leave."

"Judy-" He pleaded, but she cut him.

"Ethan, do you know what my parents said about dreams ? It's great to have them, as long as you don't believe about them too much. I thought I had given up, but there was this little ember, this little part of me that never stopped believing in a better life."

It was like a chain had broken. Everything she had held back for years was coming loose and pouring out of her. It was liberating, but it was also unfair to him and she knew it. But they had shared half of their lives together, and if she was going to leave, he had a right to know. Knowing was better in the long run.

"And I know, I know that it's way too late to become a police officer, but it's not too late to become something else. I never wanted to be a housewife, I never wanted to settle… But do you know how it feel to have your dream being crushed in front of your own eyes ? To-"

"Yes. Yes I do." His ears had dropped, and he was vainly trying to wipe away the tears from his eyes. She too had started crying. She knew she was hurting him, but even then, it was something she had to do.

A silence lingered between them.

"Ethan, I know this is unfair to you. But this life… It's unfair to me. I don't want it, I never wanted it. I love our children, I thinks they are the best things that I have ever done. But us… I settled, Ethan. I chose this life because I thought I could never have anything better. And it took me years to realise it was stupid, and even longer to be ready to take a new step. I'm sorry."

She was out of breath at the end of her speech. Seeing the state she was putting him in, she felt like a monster. At least, there was no way to come back from it. The only way remaining was forward.

"Did you ever love me ?" He asked suddenly.

Judy fell mute. It was a fair question. "Yes. I did. I do, still. But it's not enough anymore. I thought I could delude myself into making my feelings for you enough to stay, to forget how miserable I was. These feelings, I'll always keep them, I'll always cherish them…"

"Please don't go." He pleaded again. "Please."

"I'm sorry. I truly am."

"Don't leave me alone." He pressed her paws in his with despair. "You're the love of my life."

"But you're not mine." She muttered.

She could pinpoint the exact moment Ethan's heart broke. He let her paw slip from his, and had to hold himself to the table, as he shrivelled to the floor, before starting to sob uncontrollably.


Aaaand that was a short one. At first, this one and the next were supposed to come out together, but I think it made more of an impact on its own. Don't worry, the ones following will be longer.

The idea for this came as the same time as "Anything for Us", and it was in fact supposed to be a one-off too. Then I screwed up and wrote twenty pages in a row.

This story won't be that long, but expect 6 to 7 chapters total.