The Collar That Ate Montana

Reporter: *Taps her microphone* Ah-hem. We are here live on the border of the ruins of what once was Montana. To summarize this horrible tragedy, a monster collar came, and ate Montana. Back to you, Frank.

Frank: *Standing one inch away* Thankyou. Yes. We are here at the brink of what was Montana. The party standing to our left, *Camera moves to them* are associated with the owner of the fiend collar. Let's go see if we can have a word.

*Walk walk walk*

Reporter: You! *Following Tidus* You there! Stop!

Tidus: *Turns around* Wha?

Reporter: *Stops in front of him, fixes her hair, then turns back to the camera, stuffing the microphone into Tidus' face* Can you please tell us what happened here?

Tidus: Don't you know?

Reporter: *Forces a smile* Please tell us in your words, sir.

Tidus: Well, Auron's collar, *looks to Auron* just ate Montana and is on a beeline toward Michigan.

Reporter: Why Michigan?

Tidus: Because it wants to.

Reporter: *Sigh* Can you tell us what led to these events?

Tidus: Well, *Puts his hands behind his head* It all started when I was a kid...

Reporter: *Hastily* Back to you, Frank.

Frank: *Chipperly* Thanks, Pam! I'm here with the Lady Summoner, Yuna. Yuna. Could you please tell us your words on what happened here?

Yuna: *Blinks as she looks from him to the camera* Auron's collar ate Montana and is now going to Michigan.

Frank: How do you know that it's going to Michigan?

Yuna: Because it said so.

Frank: Did it say anything else?

Yuna: Yes, it did. It said... *Thinks* `I require macaroni pictures.'

Frank: Amazing. *Turns back to the camera with a horrified look* Back to you, Pam.

Reporter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND we're back. I'm here with this woman, who has also associated with the owner of the Fiend Collar, who is no where to be found right now. Miss Lulu, can you please tell us what sparked this collar?

Lulu: It wants macaroni pictures.

Reporter: And... What exactly are macaroni pictures?

Lulu: *Looking at the woman as if she's stupid* Pictures made of macaroni.

Reporter: Why would the Fiend Collar want pictures made of macaroni?

Lulu: You expect me to know?

Rikku: Stop calling it that!

Reporter: Stop calling what what?

Rikku: Stop calling Emilio the Fiend Collar! He has a name!

Reporter: Emilio?

Rikku: Yah!

Reporter: And... How did you come to find that out?

Rikku: Emilio told me.

Reporter: Did he say anything else?

Rikku: Yah.

Reporter: What. Did he say?

Rikku: That the Vienna sausages from the grocery store somewhere tasted really great, and that's why he's going to Michigan.

Reporter: Michigan sells Vienna sausages?

Rikku: Dunno. *Shrugs*

Reporter: Amazing. Back to you, Frank.

Frank: Yes. Well, I'm here with this man who has also associated with the owner of the Fiend Collar. *Gets hit by a grenade with an un-pulled pin* I mean... Emilio.

Rikku: I'll pull the pin next time!

Frank: Er. Anyway, I'm here with Wakka. Wakka. What do you have to say on the situation?

Wakka: Well, it's Yevon's will, ya? And besides, Emilio was hungry, ya?

Frank: BUT HE ATE MONTANA!

Wakka: Well, things happen, ya?

Frank: Haven't you tried to fight it?

Wakka: Well, that's where Auron's going now, ya?

Rikku: He won't be able to do it alone! *Runs off*

Tidus: *Follows*

Lulu: *Follows*

Yuna: *Follows*

Wakka: *Follows*

Frank: *Stops Kimahri* Wait! Please, a few more words! Have you tried to appease the beast by making macaroni pictures?

Kimahri: Not enough macaroni for beast so large.

Frank: BUT IT'S GOING TO EAT MICHIGAN!

Kimahri: Not my fault.

Frank: *Cries as Kimahri walks off* Back... to you... Pam.

Reporter: Right now, all around the world, people have dedicated their time to making macaroni pictures. We can only hope that we won't run out of time before the Fiend Collar eats Michigan.

Someone: *Hands the Reporter something*

Reporter: Oh no! Due to new information, the Fiend Collar has now demanded soap sculptures as well! What will the world do? We have a Fiend Collar that JUST ate all of Montana on the loose!

A/N: Please. Don't ask. I was at school and I was ranting about FFX and my friend was just like:

"Who's that? Is that the guy with the collar that ate Montana?"

And I couldn't stop laughing. I mean... The collar that ate Montana. Hehe. Please, flame away, this was so totally pointless and worse, it wasn't even funny. ^^;;; This'll be my new story to get over writer's block, so just ignore me as I begin writing my new FFX saga. Really. I'm not this bad a writer.