A/N: ugh I'm not sure where to put this. It's much too long for Chiaroscuro...and I want to post it because I like it too much to waste it? Kinda moot I guess because no one really notices the things I don't put in Chiaroscuro anyway. Whatever~this will hopefully be three chapters of this size. I used Reflet because it's what I named my avatar and it's the Japanese name, I think? Btw if anyone thinks it should be M, tell me. I'm kinda worried, but perhaps I'm just a wimp?

to explain, this is basically my headcanon...in which the avatar slowly remembers her past, and becomes kind of messed up because of it. These poor characters. I abuse them so.

Warning: T for blood, dark themes, battle, and character death.


Reflet moved lithely through battle, no movements wasted. Every strike she made, a valmese went down, clutching at whatever gaping wound she'd left them with. Normally, she would be a little reserved. These were humans, after all, not undead creatures. But today, she allowed her battle grace to carry her though, relying more on muscle memory than actual tactics.

When Chrom had asked what their plan was, she had replied with a curt, emotionless, "Take them all down."

Basilio and Flavia seemed to be enjoying themselves, but most of the shepherds looked uneasy. More than once, she had briefly spotted Chrom or Gaius looking at her with concern. It was easy to ignore, especially if she it kept her distance from them.

She yanked a knife out of man's chest, scowling in disgust as blood sprayed her face, and flipped backwards to avoid a lance. The man holding it was promptly killed, but Reflet hadn't moved.

Gaius yanked his arrow out of the lancer's back and held out a hand to his wife.

"We need to talk."

Reflet leveled her sword at his chest. Rage, guilt, and pain coursed through her.

"Out of my way. I have nothing to say to you."

"Stop being a fool. You're gonna get yourself killed, Ref."

She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, something like heavy steps clanged on the ground behind her. Her head snapped in that direction, but she was frozen in place like a timid doe.

Gaius screamed. "Move!" He darted forward, grabbed hold of the armor around her middle, and pulled.

She gasped, and would have landed roughly on the ground had he not pulled her on top of him. The force from their momentum cracked his back against the cobblestones at the same moment the ax embedded itself in the stack of crates behind where Reflet had been standing.

Reflexively, she ripped off one of the daggers lining her arms and threw it with deadly precision, right into the ax-wielder's heart. Then, she slapped Gaius. The resulting sound faded away and left a painful silence hanging the air.

"You're the fool! Haven't I told you to look after yourself?"

He brushed her off, hands raised defensively. "Whoa, I'm fine. Just...help me stand, will you?"

She obliged, and carefully helped him to his feet. Gaius winced the whole way through. "Looks like I messed myself up," he commented.

Reflet picked up her fallen sword and turned away from him.

"Go find Lissa. I need to see how everyone is doing."

Sounds of war cries and dying screams echoed around them. The battle was getting closer to their position. Both of them looked up, eyes wide. Gaius shook his head. "I can't leave you here alone, bubbles."

Reflet glared. "Absolutely not. You are going in that direction to see the healers, and I am going in the other direction to continue this fight."

"How about this: I go with you, and see the battle healer."

Beyond irritated, she raised her sword once more. "Libra has better things to do than attend to fools. You will not follow me."

An exasperated sigh fell from his lips. "Why are you so selfish?"

Reflet's lips puckered and she swung her sword to the side roughly, so that it slid across the stones and made an ugly sound.

"Oh, are we adding 'selfish' to your list of words for me? Right below 'cruel', 'jerk' and 'cold-hearted'?

"I guess you could, since you'll never admit that you are all those things!"

"Enough!" Her scarf swooshed behind her as she turned on a heel. "We are not having this argument, and certainly not here."

"Anything for my ice princess," the thief muttered before disappearing around the stack of crates. Reflet spared no second glance in his direction. Unbidden, a tiny twinge of guilt pulled at her insides, but she shoved it down. Sure, she wasn't going where she said she was, but neither was he. If she knew him at all, he planned to go the long way around to the battle, then keep an eye on her from a distance.

"Let him worry, then," she thought, and turned her back to the battlefield.

Reflet wasn't even sure where she was going. Her feet moved as if of their own accord, and all she knew was that she needed to get away. At her sides, her fingers itched to bury a blade in someone's chest. Angry red lines pounded at the corner of her vision.

Let down your walls, Reflet.

"Show yourself!" she screeched. Her hair whipped in a sudden wind that threatened to blow her away. Ghostly, clawed hands tore at her skin. "Stop!"

A brand solidified over her eyes. Everywhere she looked, a foreboding purple design glowed. It gave off waves of terror and hatred. "Someone help me, please."

She had felt this before. She'd seen it happening. Oh gods. This was...

How had she stopped it before? What was it that her mother had said?

SUBMIT.

A vehement scream tore her throat. "I won't!," she sobbed. Desperate, she searched her memory for the few scraps of happiness it held. A few snatches of her past came up, but the most prevalent thing was Gaius.

"I love you, bubbles. You're my reason for bein' alive."

Gradually, his smile replaced the storm in her head. The purple glow faded from her eyes and she slumped to the ground, lost in a peaceful darkness.


She woke to the sound of unfamiliar voices. Alarmed, she tried to grab for her weapons, but her arms wouldn't move. All she could see was black, and after her previous episode, it scared her. She began to thrash and kick, causing enough problems to whoever was holding her that he removed the cloth over her eyes.

"Calm yourself."

Reflet realized she was slung over the shoulder of a valmese swordmaster. Four more surrounded her, led by a general on a horse. They were all weary looking and bloody. "I can't believe we found their tactician just lying there," one of the men was saying to the general.

"Mila's grace, I suppose," the general replied. He didn't seem to honestly attribute anything to the goddess, though. Most likely he'd report to his superiors when he got home that he'd defeated her in a long, honorable battle.

Reflet groaned. Her whole day was turning out to be one big inconvenience. "Either you all let me go," she began. "Or I will take your lives."

The swordmaster who held her laughed. "We have your weapons. What could you do without them?"

"I am the avatar of an ancient god more powerful than you could comprehend."

He looked her over, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "You tell a good story, girl, but you look more like a lost princess to me," he said, and rubbed a thumb over her circlet. She scowled at his touch.

"Perhaps I am both."

"Oh? Tell me more."

"Alas, my story is not yours to know."

The swordmaster let out a booming laugh that reminded her of Gregor. His blue eyes twinkled. "Of course. I suppose it isn't proper of a princess to give her secrets to the man who kidnapped her."

"It seems I've met with a most chivalrous kidnapper."

"And I a most beautiful god princess."

"Watch your tongue, kidnapper."

"Ah, you have yourself a knight back home, then."

The image of Gaius in armor was too hard to conjure, so she dismissed it. "Husband."

"Too bad for me."

"Do you plan on kidnapping your future wife?"

He laughed again, but before he could reply, the general snapped, "Quiet! We're not out of their sights yet."

Reflet had enjoyed her pointless banter with the swordmaster, but she supposed now was a good a time as any to make her escape. With a whispered "Forgive me" she threw her elbow into his chin. He made a strangled sound and loosed his grip just enough for her to roll off his shoulder.

She hit the ground hard and rolled to her feet. The valmese were all on alert now, and determined not to lose their high profile captive.

"I apologize, men, but I must follow through on my word."

It was incredibly foolish of her. There was no way on earth she could take six armed men, bound and without a weapon.

She kept her body close to the ground and kicked the legs of one of the men. He obviously hadn't expected her to act so quickly, and fell easily. The others raised their guard, but oddly enough, didn't draw their swords.

They couldn't kill her. Whoever wanted her so badly had wanted her alive, and that gave her an advantage, however slim. Her mind raced, analyzing strengths, weaknesses, and...there! None of the men wore an extra burden. Her weapons had to be on the general's horse.

She planned as she moved. Her battle grace returned, moving her fluidly past blows that would debilitate if they connected. Still, she wasn't invincible. A blow caught her temple and sent her spinning to the ground, but she caught herself and mustered the energy to keep moving.

As she fought, the general sat motionless, watching her struggle with a cold eye. Reflet fought with all the strength she had, but it wasn't enough. In the end, one of the men caught her by the waist and shoved her to the ground. Too exhausted to move, she gave up. Her vision swimming, she blinked rapidly and caught sight of the man who was holding her earlier. With a sinking feeling, she realized he hadn't moved the entire time.

"Pick her up," the general commanded, turning his horse back down the road. The other four men moved away, leaving her broken on the ground. Her swordsman picked her up, one hand under her knees, the other under her back. She barely noticed, as unconsciousness was taking her for the second time that day.