Hey, guys! So this oneshot came about while I was listening to Fight Song by Rachel Platten (hence the title of this). But just to be clear, this is NOT a songfic. To be honest, I didn't have a solid direction when I wrote this. The pairing & the song that inspired this oneshot write itself. I know that seems like such a dumb thing to say, but it's true! Sorry (not sorry). XD
Also, this oneshot is not in the same universe as Unexpected, but it can be in the same universe as Infinity and Woosah, if you wish. I just wanted to clear that up.
I own nothing related to Fire Emblem.
Please read & enjoy! :D
That wasn't supposed to happen.
Ellie had planned the battle out to a T. She and the Shepherds were to destroy the enemy army, kill Mad King Gangrel, and rescue Emmeryn. It was an air-tight plan, and Ellie was sure that it would work. Even Chrom had been convinced that it would be a success.
"It's going to work," he had said. "I have complete faith in you, Ellie."
But as it turned out, having faith in her and her plan had been foolish. Emmeryn was dead, and Gangrel was beyond happy about it. Granted, Emmeryn had chosen her death when she fell from her perch. But that hadn't softened the blow of her sudden death. If anything, it had made it more painful. Emmeryn's choice had left Chrom and Lissa devastated, and Ellie reeling.
After another battle, the Shepherds- along with those from Ferox- had retreated to safety. But there were no talks of what to do next. No one was strategizing on where to go from here. Everyone was just trying to deal with their emotions. Nobody had come from both battles without some mental scars. The image of Emmeryn's fall was still fresh in all their minds. Most of the Shepherds were comforting each other from their failure.
But there were a few people most affected from the tragedy.
Chrom just stared at the ground with tears in his eyes. He refused to blink because he knew that if he did, those tears would fall. He had to be strong for Lissa. She was inconsolable; her tears ran like a waterfall on her cheeks. Maribelle tried her best to comfort her, but she was just grabbing at straws. She knew nothing she would say or do would bring Emmeryn back.
"Milady…"
"Frederick, don't tell me to not cry. I…I can't help it!" Lissa wailed.
Frederick nodded. "I was only asking if you knew where Ellie is."
His statement drew Chrom out of his trance. He whipped his head both ways to look for the tactician.
"I haven't seen her," he finally said.
"I think she went that way."
The trio looked over at Nowi. Tears were streaking her face, but her voice had been clear. Her finger pointed down a wide corridor.
"Are you sure?" Frederick questioned.
"I'm sure," Nowi replied. "You should probably check on her. I tried to comfort her…but she wouldn't even look at me."
Frederick was now torn. He wanted to stay with Chrom and Lissa, but he needed to speak to Ellie. He wasn't happy with how she was taking Emmeryn's death. She was shutting herself away from the Shepherds when they needed her the most. How dare she?
"I must speak to my wife," he said. "Her not being here bothers me greatly, milord."
Chrom nodded. "I agree. Please find her, Frederick. That's an order."
That was all Frederick needed to hear. He took off down the hall faster than even he expected. He poked his head in a couple doors, trying desperately to find her. But each door he opened brought him farther away from finding Ellie. They were all empty, much to his chagrin.
Where could she be? He thought.
After several minutes, he reached the final door. He knew that if she wasn't in there, than she could be anywhere. Unable to wait any longer, Frederick opened the door.
Ellie sat at a desk that had a map and several tomes scattered about. She looked absorbed in her work, and it showed. Her hair was a mess, her face scrunched with concentration, and her eyes were rather red. Frederick knew that the last part of her appearance had to be from crying so much.
So she does care, he thought.
Frederick now felt guilty that he thought she didn't care about the Shepherds. It wasn't an issue of not trusting her; he had come to trust her a couple battles ago. Rather-
"What the hell do you want?"
The question stunned Frederick. He blinked hard to see a hurt Ellie staring at him. There was venom in her voice and her eyes, urging him to leave her be. But Frederick wasn't about to do that.
"I was looking for you, my love," he said. "Chrom asked."
"I'm busy," Ellie snapped.
"I see that," Frederick remarked.
Ellie went back to her map. She drew something on it- Frederick didn't see what- and then went back to a tome. Realizing that she still wasn't alone again, she gave Frederick an icy stare.
"I said I'm busy," she said. "Leave me alone."
"No," Frederick replied. He walked over as anger rose in his chest.
That was when he saw the map in front of her. The drawings and figurines dotted on it painted a clear picture to him; it was the plan for the next battle.
"There," Ellie said, "you got to see what I've been working on. Now will you please leave?"
Frederick looked up at her. He noted how vulnerable she looked at that moment. Her eyes held back a flood of tears, her posture was stiff, and her breathing was shallow. It was obvious that the stress of what had happened was wreaking havoc inside her.
"Have you had a chance to grieve, Ellie?" Frederick asked.
The question made Ellie pause, but only for a moment. "I don't have time. I need to work on this. The plans for the next battle are far more important. I cannot fail again. I refuse to fail. If I do, I'll have no choice but to end it all. And…and I don't want it to have to come to that."
She took a deep breath in a feeble attempt to keep her composure. Her eyes darted back to her map.
"Now if you don't mind," she added, "I'd like to get back to this."
Frederick nodded. "How long have you been in here?"
"I don't know," Ellie admitted. "I'd say since we came here. The plan isn't finished yet. I still have to finish it up."
"Why haven't you been with the rest of the Shepherds?"
"I'm sorry?"
"I said, why haven't you been with the rest of the Shepherds?"
Ellie was at a loss for words. Her silence bothered Frederick greatly.
"We need you," he said. "I need you. Do-"
"Don't you dare accuse me of not caring," Ellie interrupted. "That's not the issue here. The issue is that I need to create an airtight battle plan so that Gangrel dies this time around. I refuse to accept anything less."
Frederick's eyes hardened. "Ellie, I understand. I do. But Chrom's devastated over what's happened. If I may be honest, I believe he's under the impression that Her Grace's death was his fault."
Now Ellie was furious. She shot out of her chair with a hostile expression.
"Well it wasn't. He didn't create a battle plan that ended up falling apart. He isn't a failure- I am! I am the reason that Emmeryn died! I had her killed!"
"Ellie-"
"Don't 'Ellie' me, Frederick. We both know it's true."
Frustrated, she sat down again. She resumed hovered over the map and tomes. She didn't even spare Frederick a second glance. She just didn't want to speak to him any longer.
He must have realized that because he left a moment later. Ellie sat back in her seat with a heavy heart.
I cannot fail, she thought. I will not fail. The Shepherds need me…Chrom needs me. If I fail again…
She didn't finish that thought. She couldn't bring herself to do it. She wisely chose to focus back on the ma and tomes in front of her. The plan wasn't going to finish itself, after all.
Frederick was fuming by the time he reached Chrom and the other Shepherds.
"Where's Ellie?" Chrom asked.
"Creating a battle plan for the next battle," Frederick informed. "She's upset, milord. She wants to be alone right now."
"You sound angry," Flavia remarked. "Was there a war of words?"
"I suppose you could call it that. Ellie's blaming herself for Emmeryn's death. I was trying to convince her to comfort you over what's happened, but she refused. Again, she wishes to work on the battle plan."
Chrom didn't know whether to be angry or concerned about that. Despite that, he was extremely concerned for her well-being. He decided to not look for her. If she was willing to argue with his knight, she would definitely have no issue arguing with him.
Tears blurred his vision again just as he blinked. A couple began to streak his cheeks, much to his embarrassment.
"Don't act ashamed," Flavia said. "You have every right to be so upset."
"I'm stronger than this," Chrom argued weakly.
But Flavia shook her head. "Emmeryn wasn't a leader to you; she was your sister. Crying about her death doesn't show weakness, Chrom. It shows that you care."
"I suppose you're right."
Suddenly, Ellie burst into the room. All eyes were on her, and they weren't exactly kind.
"The battle plan's done!" she exclaimed. "I'm certain that Gangrel and his army will be dead after we're through."
Chrom slowly approached her. "Is that all that matters to you?"
Ellie ignored the question. "I'm ready to explain it to you all. I know that we all want this war to end for good. So do I. I am as determined as ever to destroy Gangrel's empire. This plan will do just that.
"I know I let you all down. And I know nothing I say or do will bring Emmeryn back. I wish it did. But we cannot keep thinking that way. All we can do is move forward. And moving forward, we have a hell of a battle to endure. But I know we can do it. We are strong enough to end Gangrel's reign of terror. I can only hope to the Gods that you all will join me in this final battle."
The room was silent. One could have easily heard a pin drop in the large room. Everyone looked stunned by Ellie's words. They were hard hitting, to the point, and resonated with them all. The mood went from depressing to invigorating in a couple minutes.
One by one, a Shepherd would voice their agreement.
"I accept," Frederick said.
"As do I," Sumia declared, her voice unusually confident.
"…Yes, I accept," Lon'qu said. He sounded nervous- what with Ellie being a woman- but he still agreed with her.
"Count me in!" Flavia exclaimed.
Lissa wiggled out of Maribelle's arms. "Me too! I'm sick of crying! I want this to end once and for all."
Her best friend agreed. "Here, here, darling! It's time for this troglodyte to meet his end!"
Eventually, the Shepherds all looked to Chrom. He seemed surprised by the turn of events. A small grin tugged at his lips.
"Chrom?" Ellie asked.
"Ellie," he said, "you can count me in. I trust you and your strategy."
"Excellent! Follow me, everyone."
The final battle had ended just as Ellie had hoped. The Mad King was dead, most of his army was dead, and the rest of said army had surrendered. The victory was bittersweet; everyone had emotional scars from the war. No one felt like celebrating. But the war was over. Everyone could at least breathe again.
But Ellie was still on edge. Even after they had reached Ylisse, she couldn't relax. She managed to close herself off in her room. She didn't know why; her plan had ended the war, and all the Shepherds had survived it. So to feel so awful was not something she had expected.
"Ah, there you are."
She didn't have to look up to know who was there.
"Hi, Frederick."
"What's wrong, Ellie?"
Ellie didn't respond.
"The war is over, my love. Are you not at least relieved?"
"I am. I really am."
Frederick wasn't convinced. "You certainly don't look it."
"We just ended a war- a painful war that brought on too many casualties. How in the hell should I look?"
"A fair point. My deepest apologies, milady."
"It's fine," Ellie said with exasperation. "I really am fine, Frederick. I just need some time to mentally recover from all that. I hope you understand."
"I understand," Frederick replied. "War is not an easy thing for the mind to comprehend. I'm struggling as well. But we are free to do whatever we please. Anything that makes you happy will make me happy, my love."
"Even starting a family?"
"Even starting a family."
Ellie nodded. "Now I know how we'll recover mentally from that hellish war."
"I like hearing that," a relieved Frederick said. "As I said before, we can do whatever we wish. If your wish is to start a family, than that is my wish as well. And Ellie?"
"Yes?"
"You can grieve now."
Ellie had completely forgotten about that. It hadn't been all that intentional; it just happened. But now that Frederick had mentioned it, a dam had broken inside Ellie. Her head collapsed on his shoulder (he had taken off his armour earlier), and tears pooled in her eyes. In a matter of seconds, those tears had begun to stain her cheeks.
But she wasn't alone. Frederick held her to his form and nuzzled her temple. He pressed a soft kiss on that spot, hoping that it would calm her down even a little. When that didn't seem to work, he stroked her hair. He even wiped her tears away with a handkerchief.
"I'm stronger than this," Ellie argued in a weak voice.
"You are strong," Frederick insisted. "But even the strongest of soldiers reach their breaking point. You needed to do this."
Ellie knew he was right, but she didn't want to admit it. She just wanted to cry on his shoulder until she couldn't cry anymore.
"And no, you're not a failure," Frederick added suddenly. "You did your best out there. No one knew that was going to happen, least of all you."
"I don't wanna think about that," Ellie said. "Please just let me cry. That's all I want."
"As you wish, my love."
For the first time since the second Ylisse-Plegia war had ended, Ellie smiled.
There ya go! I hope you all enjoyed it. :)
Please review, and don't forget to check out all my other fanfics! :D
- Elizabeth
