Blaine had messed up; he was willing to admit that much. He should never have let Kurt leave Boston mad at him. It had been weeks since they'd spoken to each other, and Blaine wanted the boy he spent all his time thinking about back in his arms.

Every moment Blaine had spent with Kurt would come back to him. The reminders of the way Kurt moved, the way Kurt spoke, the elegance and grace involved in everything the boy did- made Blaine miss him more every time he closed his eyes.

The memory of Kurt hailing a cab to leave him behind was not the memory Blaine wanted. Blaine stood by watching through the window as Kurt ran away, and he was left with that vision every night for the past month: the black satin of Kurt's vest vanishing into a cab and leaving him with nothing but regret.

Every time Blaine left the apartment, Blaine swore he saw Kurt disappear around a corner. A fleeting bit of hope would blossom in his chest before it was quickly replaced with the same hollow feeling that had plagued him all summer long.

Why had he been so stupid? How could he have let the only man he'd ever allowed himself to be with leave without a fight?

He had spent almost every day with Kurt since the end of junior year. In the safety of Kurt's room, Blaine had learned to love what they could be together.

In the two years Blaine was at Dalton before Kurt transferred he'd only ever found a few boys attractive, and never enough to make him seriously question his sexuality. With thick dark curls and an immaculately sculpted upper body, girls had always been attracted to Blaine, and that's the way he thought it should be. Those stray glances at boys in class and thoughts of his favorite male celebrities were a thing of the past; he was determined to do things correctly at Dalton and that included going out with a string of the hottest girls around.

To Blaine, they had been nothing but something to do with his cock and his time.

He worked hard to retain his reputation as a player, the confident boy that girls dreamed would give them the time of day. He could be cocky and sarcastic and it just attracted more girls. Without much effort on Blaine's part, half of the school looked up to him and the other half feared his disapproval. He never bullied anyone, but it was nice to know he had the authority to start or stop anything that went on in that school.

No one had ever guessed he might be hiding something. No one, until Kurt. Kurt seemed to sense Blaine was hiding his insecurities.

Blaine was caught off-guard the first time he saw Kurt.

"Watch where you're going." Blaine scoffed up at the tall boy with the audacity to not pay attention to Blaine's personal space.

"Because you own the hallway?" Kurt said as he raised an eyebrow and walked away.

Blaine stood there, mouth agape, stunned that someone responded at all. The problem wasn't just that he was upset that someone had responded and challenged him, it was the muscle he felt beneath the boy's sleeve. It was the jolt in his stomach as he heard that crystal voice shoot back at him so confidently. It was the fact that Blaine wanted to hear it again.

He made a mental note to watch for the kid with perfectly coiffed hair, silently grateful that he wasn't with anyone who would have made him say something he'd regret.

It didn't take long for Blaine to see the boy again. Kurt's audition for the Warblers was sung that afternoon and directly to Blaine. Kurt stared as he sang the words to When I Get You Alone, knowing it was the same song Blaine had used at Sectionals the year before. At the beginning of his performance it seemed like a challenge, some direct question of authority, but halfway through the song changed. Kurt completely altered it, singing higher and to a different tempo. It was obvious that he was using the audition to show Blaine a lot more than his vocal talent.

Blaine could only stare at the boy singing. He noticed the subtle changes the boy made to his uniform. The boots he wore instead of loafers. The studded cufflinks. How when he sang a particularly high note, gorgeous crimson colors spread across his relatively pale cheeks. It was easily the sexiest thing Blaine had ever seen, and Blaine couldn't say anything about it.

The Warblers hazed Kurt for singing the song like a girl, and singing it so openly to one of the straightest guys in the room. But his talent was undeniable. They were all hung up on the rarity of having a countertenor.

Blaine's thoughts, however, were fixated on hearing that voice again from the comfort of a mattress.

Weeks of sexual frustration were slowly driving Blaine mad. Every time he walked into the choir hall, Kurt would be standing in some new outfit that emphasized his fantastic ass. Every movement of those hips caused a strain against Blaine's zipper and a rushed shower the second he got back to his room.

He was constantly distracted around Kurt and it would be bad enough if Kurt noticed, but in the rehearsal hall any one of the guys could pick up on his crush. The obvious solution was to distance himself from Kurt.

Kurt seemed to notice the deliberate distance between them. He hadn't openly made a move on Blaine for at least a week before Sectionals, and it was starting to make him worry that Kurt wasn't interested anymore.

Sectionals passed with a victory for the Warblers. In true Warbler fashion, the boys used the celebration as an excuse to let loose and drink.

"You're not getting in a car like this." Kurt said as he walked Blaine outside.

"What are you-u talking about-t? I'm totally fine," Blaine slurred, tripping slightly as he made his way across the threshold.

Kurt pointed Blaine in the direction of his own car and ushered in as Blaine mumbled something about only drinking one beer.

Blaine liked the idea that Kurt cared enough to make sure he got home safely that night. Maybe Kurt hadn't moved on yet.

"Mmm. This smells nice." Blaine twirled a finger through Kurt's hair. "You smell nice."

Blaine leaned in to get closer to the smell and gave into all of his thoughts for the past week. Blaine let temptation drive his tongue down Kurt's neck, tracing the boy's collar bone.

Kurt jumped in surprise before a glorious sigh escaped his lips. The sound of it sent Blaine's sexual frustration into overdrive. He had to make sure he heard that sigh again soon. He shifted to trace his tongue slowly over the pulsing vein in Kurt's neck.

"I'm pretty sure only one person in this car is supposed to want this, and it's not supposed to be you." Kurt said wryly.

That had been their first night together. Even if it was just blow jobs, Blaine had loved knowing what it was like to fill his mouth with another man. Later, Kurt told him that he'd been a natural.

Every night after that Kurt would hear a knock on his door. At some point in the evening Blaine would come over and he'd stay as long as he could without someone noticing his absence.

Their nights quickly became more than a drunken hook-up. The sex was exactly what Blaine wanted, but what had surprised him was the emotional attachment he craved when he wasn't near Kurt. The side that was nothing like the reputation Blaine had during class. Blaine got to be the man that could wrap his arms around the boy next to him. His chest would flex against Kurt's warm back, arms enveloping the smaller boy's waist. Those were the moments Blaine felt the closest to Kurt.

The relationship never left Kurt's room. Blaine never even stayed the night. Except once. It was the first time Blaine came inside Kurt, and it was the only time Blaine couldn't force himself to leave.

"I just don't want to go," was all Kurt would have needed to hear, but Blaine could never bring himself to say it. He didn't want to be the vulnerable one, but so many nights Blaine left wishing Kurt had asked him not to.

Staying just that one night turned out to be too much of a risk for Blaine. He spent the entire next day convinced that everyone knew where he'd been the night before. The thought of everyone knowing his secret terrified Blaine more than the thought of being without Kurt.

Blaine was always with people, so there was hardly anything they could do without blowing Blaine's secret. When the two saw each other in the halls they would greet each other with a curt nod, but Blaine always found himself stealing a second glance at Kurt's slender frame.

A year passed this way, making sure no one knew what happened behind closed doors. They opened up to each other, but Blaine knew Kurt was holding back. When he brought up the issue Kurt responded, "What else are you going to get from me that can be done in this room?" Blaine made the decision that he was fine with that, if the price for more was outing himself.

That summer was supposed to be brilliant. They spent it in Boston with his mother, a lawyer who didn't have the time to spend at home, and there was no need to hide their relationship in a bedroom. Finally, he got to experience what it was like to have all of Kurt.

Until he didn't. Until he accidentally sent Kurt out the door, into a cab, and until Blaine spent the summer missing Kurt's warmth between his arms.