Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Mutant X series.
This is a one shot. It takes place during S03Ep22, The Assault, when Jesse and Lexa are trapped at The Dominion's headquarters.
The first dialogue is taken directly from that scene.
"There's something I want you to know"
"This isn't gonna make me cry, is it?"
"No. If I die without saying this, I ..."
"See, there you go. And me without my handkerchief "
"You know, every time that I've tried to talk to you straight up, you turn it into a joke."
"Jess, I know how you feel. You're not exactly a closed book"
"Oh, Ok. Yeah. Forget I said anything"
"Jess, I care about you, too. And we are not gonna die. We are walking out of here and I tell you, when we do, we are gonna take this whole damn place down around their ears"
Here we are . You and I are both trapped at The Dominion's headquarters yet, here you are, trying to tell me what is in your heart. Jesse Kilmartin, I never thought anyone could make me feel this way. After everything we've been through in the past year... It's true that when I first came into Mutant X, the last thing I expected was to get along with any of you, but I never expected any kind of affection from either Brennan, Shalimar or you. I was just there fulfilling an assignment. At first, I was very hesitant to start any kind of friendship with any of you. I was an excellent agent and as such, I knew that bonds are a liability. I still didn't think anything could develop between us because of Alicia. I thought you would've been back with her if it hadn't been for that little incident. I'll admit, I was jealous, even though I really didn't recognize it for what it was but I was very good at hiding those feelings. Hey, I've always been good at that. An then, Brennan became like a brother who was there when my own brother died, even though for a while I felt it had been his fault. Shalimar also got closer than I expected, even if at first she was weary of me. I didn't notice when we had all become family. That is one of the reasons I let myself be captured. I already lost my brother, I wasn't about to let them take you, too. The other reason was, well... you.
I know you thought it rude when I interrupted your declarations but, before, I don't think I was ready for it. I love you, too, Jesse. With every fiber of my being, with all my heart, I love you. I was ready to sacrifice myself for you, so you wouldn't be treated like a lab rat. You have no idea how it was killing me inside seeing them torture you so they could get the information out of me. I wanted to kill them. I probably would have if I hadn't been inside this cell. Now that you try to tell me again about your feelings for me, I realize that this subject cannot be ignored any longer. I mean, I don't want to ignore it any longer. When we get out of this, I promise you, we'll talk and maybe we can give it a chance. I certainly will like to try. I love you too damn much, Jesse. You are the only reason why I'm still alive. If you were to leave me now, I don't know what I'd do. Before all of this, I'm pretty sure I would have managed after a while if you had gone, but not anymore. I can't live in a world where you don't exist. I mean, I'd live without meaning or purpose. I'd be like a zombie, with no soul to speak of. I'd rather be dead than without you. I just can't bear the thought of not having you by my side. A lot of things had happened between us, but that is no reason for us to not get over them and move on with life. If you really love me, we can do anything together. We'll defeat The Dominion and find Adam, Shalimar and Brennan. We'll be a family again.
"Jesse?"
"Yeah"
"I love you, too."
Dedicated to one very special person.
